How to Shmooze

Definition: talk idly or casually in a friendly way
Value: priceless

Gearheads like me have trouble understanding that great ideas and hard work aren't enough... you gotta shmooze too. Every day we deal with peculiar life forms called "humans", and they have needs beyond the performance of tasks. They like to connect on a human level, too.

Even non-gearheads need this reminder. Sometimes they are trying so hard to get the job done, or are just uncertain and uncomfortable, that they forget to blend this critical element into their work.

Have you ever been frustrated seeing a back-slapping moron doing very well in business, while you, the much more capable one, are struggling? Then these ideas are for you. When working with customers, vendors or co-workers, try this:

1. Don't start by diving into the task. Spend a couple sentences warming up first. A simple "How was your weekend?" followed by listening to the answer, will start the interaction on a human level.

2. When you listen, listen also for the emotional tone of the response and respond to it. Example: if the person is harried, consider saying, "Hey, you look like you are under a lot of pressure right now... what can I do to help?" And mean it. And try to help.

3. Sprinkle the person's name into your conversation once or twice. People pay more attention when they hear their name. And it brings you closer to her.

4. Smile and relax. Putting yourself in a good, balanced attitude will help her get there too.

5. Don't take yourself too seriously. Recognize that we are all imperfect and struggling. Share a bit of your struggle and recognize theirs. Example: "Wow, I tried so hard to get this done, but it was really tough. I know you must be having a hard time with your part of it, too. "

5. Create alliances as opposed to adversity. In business we are constantly trying to get someone else to do what we want them to do. Frame your request against a backdrop of mutual benefit. Instead of, "I need this...", try "In order for us to reach our goal, I can accomplish this if you can do that."

6. Observe people you consider to be good shmoozers. Note what behaviors are effective and try to add them to your skill set. The art here is to still be yourself at the same time. Think of it as an adjustment to your approach rather than a complete redo. If you have been a vocal non-golfer, don't suddenly morph into Tiger Woods overnight and expect to be taken seriously.

7. Try to gain a clear vision of the difference between who you are, and what you do. The former is called personality, the latter is called behavior. Personality is very close to your core. Behavior is actions which you undertake. Developing shmoozing skills involves experimentation with your behavior.

But the real beauty of working on your shmoozing is that the positive responses you will get from others will, in turn, be gratifying to you. And this response will make you happier and more successful, which in turn will go right to your core.

What started out as developing a business skill has a real chance of actually enhancing your life. Is there a reason to wait?

Copyright 2005 Mark Meshulam

Mark Meshulam offers a unique suite of productivity software at http://www.poingo.com, and an interesting, informative blog at http://www.poingology.com

In The News:

The Power Of Authentic Networking  ForbesUnderstanding the power of relationships with like-minded and diverse peers can help us expand our networks exponentially.
The status of white box networking in the enterprise  TechTargetLarge cloud and *service* providers have successfully deployed white box networking in their data centers, but enterprises have less compelling use cases.
7 NEW Networking Classes You Should Know About  CEProTo keep your staff well educated and versed on networking, ESA's National Training School has added 7 new networking classes to its lineup. Networking 101 ...
Global Fog Networking Market Report 2019-2024: The Growing Demand for Real-time Computing is Promoting Massive Market Growth - ResearchAndMarkets.com  Business WireDUBLIN--(BUSINESS WIRE)--The "Fog Networking Market - Growth, Trends, and Forecast (2019 - 2024)" report has been added to ResearchAndMarkets.com's ...
Teridion Taps Cisco Meraki Security, SD-WAN for Branch Networking  SDxCentralCisco's Meraki MX security and SD-WAN appliances integrate with Teridion's cloud-based WAN *service* for higher internet *service* performance.
DevOps and Networking: Working to Achieve Nirvana  DevOps.comEnterprises don't own the cloud, just the experience. If there's an outage or even a hiccup in the performance or network *service*, it's on the network and ...
Extreme Networks' Approach to Autonomous Networking Is Elemental  eWeekThis week at its ExtremeConnect user event in Nashville, Tenn., Extreme Networks played the tune of autonomous networks. The theme of the event was ...
Exclusive: Pluribus Demos Low-Latency Networking Fabric at Kinetic Edge  SDxCentralPluribus Networks, working with Partners Vapor IO, Packet, and MoiledgeX, deployed its networking fabric across three Kinetic Edge sites.
How Introverts Can Learn to Love Networking  Kellogg InsightFor introverts, networking events can be a source of dread. The format itself—a crowd full of strangers hoping to make a strong impression—is anathema to ...
Valve's Proton Pulls In Latest DXVK, Steam Networking Updates, Controller Layout Fixes  PhoronixThe Valve developers maintaining their Proton fork of Wine for use by Steam Play have outed a new update, version 4.2-5. With Proton 4.2-5 comes the update ...
US-based Array Networks to supply networking hardware for Agra smart city  Economic TimesNEW DELHI: The US-based Array Networks has bagged the Agra smart city project to supply networking hardware solutions, and would work in a consortium ...
Huawei proposes 'deterministic networking' for 5G  Mobile EuropeHuawei claims to be the first in the communications industry to propose 'deterministic networking'. Topic. More 5G Stories. Vodafone demos cross-border mobile ...
Networking is pointless — unless you follow this important rule, relationship expert says  CNBCTo be an effective networker, it's important to view relationships as "capital," says Zvi Band, relationship strategist and author of "Success Is in Your Sphere."
The New Face Of Networking  ForbesThese are tactics that anyone can apply, at any stage in their career, to build relationships and reap the benefits of a strong network.
Imagine Communications Hires Gould for Canada Playout, Networking Sales  TV TechnologyTORONTO—Ken Gould is joining the Imagine Communications team as an account executive in Canada, working for its playout and networking business.
Key Requirements for 5G Networks  Light ReadingRon Parker, Affirmed's vice president of software and systems architecture, explains some of the key attributes that 5G networks must have for network operators ...
How To Network: 3 Steps To Crush Your Next Networking Event  ForbesThe mere mention of the word “networking event” can make some people break out into a cold sweat. Being in a room with total strangers and having to strike up ...
A professor explains why networking is a waste of time and what you should be doing  LaddersThe “heart” of networking is rooted in selfishness, taking and using; while the great leaders all teach us that true success comes through serving.
Evolving networking tech allows for virtualized infrastructure reset  SiliconANGLE NewsAs networking technology shifts to include infrastructure like the Kubernetes open-source container-orchestration system on cloud native or 5G cellular network ...
PropelTO networking group replaces YTP with no age limit  TravelweekTORONTO — A refreshed and rebranded networking group, PropelTO, will replace the disbanded Young Travel Professionals (YTP), which had successfully ...
Q&A: Dell's PowerSwitch tackles open networking, future-proofs multicloud  SiliconANGLE NewsHistorically, networking has been a complex system of hardware meets software. Cloud computing is now changing the way the enterprise looks at networks.
Networking and Security: Put It All Together  CSO OnlineWhen both teams work together, they can create a tailor-made solution.
States In-Vehicle Networking Market Likely to Emerge over a Period of 2019 - 2025: Zebra Technologies Corp. , Stanley Healthcare , Impinj, Inc. , SAVI Technology , etc.  Market Research Updates“Worldwide Market Report: Garner Insights introduced a new title on Global States In-Vehicle Networking Market Research Report from its database. The report ...
Can introverts be good at networking? Elaine Varelas provides insight and useful resources  Boston.comQ: I'm an introvert, so networking does not come easily to me. I'm not currently job searching, but I want to start building a stronger network—but I just can't bring ...
Behind The Hashtag: Meet The Women Making #CREChat A Viable Networking Tool  BisnowTwo women want to turn a joint Twitter account into CRE's go-to networking platform.
Trump’s Huawei ban ‘wins’ one trade battle, but the US may lose the networking war  TechCrunchWhile U.S. government officials celebrate what they must consider to be a win in their battle against the low-cost, high-performance networking vendor Huawei ...
Dispelling Old Rules of Networking  ATDCentroverts and introverts do not benefit from the old rules of networking. Join me in turning three old-school networking premises on their heads.
Docker Inc. Extends Tigera Networking Alliance  Container JournalDocker Inc. is extending a networking alliance with Tigera to include an instance of Project Calico software running on Windows Server.
Juniper Networks' Channel Has A New Leader  CRNThe Juniper Networks channel has a new leader. The networking company has promoted Christian Alvarez to lead its channels and distribution worldwide.
The Rise of Security-Driven Networking  BankInfoSecurity.comTraditionally, enterprises have built networks and then added security elements. But in what he describes as "the third generation of security,"
Pitching CurveBlock and The Importance of Networking at the Monaco Blockchain Conference on May 31st With Gary Woodhead - Irish Tech News  Irish Tech NewsWith Gary Woodhead, CEO of Curveblock. 1 min pitch for what you are doing now? We're currently working with our collaborator the NatWest Bank Accelerator ...
Allied Telesis turns its networking focus to the U.S. market  Network WorldWhile big names like Cisco and Juniper dominate the enterprise networking landscape, Allied Telesis quietly brings 30 years of experience and innovation to ...
Dell Technologies Places Its Networking Bets  ForbesAnalyst Will Townsend takes a look at the networking news from Dell Technologies World 2019.
Wirecutter's best deals: Save $80 on an Eero mesh networking bundle  EngadgetThis post was done in partnership with Wirecutter. When readers choose to buy Wirecutter's independently chosen editorial picks, it may earn affiliate commissio.
Marvell to Acquire Aquantia, Eying Automotive Networking Market  AnandTechMarvell on Monday announced that it had reached an agreement to buy the networking specialist firm Aquantia for $452 million. The acquisition will allow ...
The halls are abuzz with networking  Restaurant Business OnlineA main driver of attending the Show is the ability to make connections with operators, exhibitors and other industry colleagues. Here's.
Dell EMC, Big Switch Take On Cisco With Open Networking Deal  SDxCentralDell EMC and Big Switch Networks inked an original equipment manufacturing (OEM) agreement with Dell EMC for Big Switch's SDN products.
BELTRAIDE hosts 1st SHEMentors Networking Event  Breaking Belize NewsPosted: Thursday, May 23, 2019. 9:16 am CST. By BBN Staff: The Belize Trade and Investment Development *Service* (BELTRAIDE) through support from the ...
Avoid networking blunders during conferences  SF GateMeeting other professionals during conferences is part of the reason why most attend, and yet some come back to work without having meaningful conversations ...
Cisco rolls out Wi-Fi 6 networking stack, bets the standard will enable as much as 5G  ZDNet5G business transformation gets the press, but Wi-Fi 6 may have as big of an impact a few years sooner.
Drawing inspiration from Shropshire networking event  Shropshire LiveBusiness owners and employees at a special event in Shropshire will be drawing inspiration from a leading comic artist when they get a sneak preview of a ...
Become a Certified Networking Expert with this Microsoft MTA Prep Bundle  XDA DevelopersEvery company over a certain size needs a solid network. That's why experienced network engineers are always in demand. What's more, networking skills are ...
Embodiment Techniques For Successful Networking  ForbesThere's no need to put on your networking persona to impress anyone. Being authentically you is the key to being present.
This $19 Bundle Helps You Become a Certified Cisco Networking Expert  XDA DevelopersCompanies of all sizes rely on networks for communication. If you want to work in IT, you really need to understand how they work. In addition, many exciting ...
Is It Too Late For Juniper Networks To Catch Up With Cisco And Aruba?  ForbesAnalyst Will Townsend takes a look at Juniper Networks' efforts to catch up to the larger enterprise networking providers.
Distress can spread through social networks: Experts  Business StandardRead more about Distress can spread through social networks: Experts on Business Standard. With connecting to people is becoming more easier than ever ...
Tracking Telco Progress in Open Networking  Light ReadingMy musings and observations on OpenStack, the open source community, what's working and what could work better.
It’s good to question your beliefs about networking  SF GateA job candidate brought up a good point about networking that's worth mentioning because he is not alone when it comes to misunderstanding networking.
Creativity, Networking, and Brunch. The Perfect Combination – Barrie 360  Barrie 360Taking place at the Common Good Cafe, The Social Brunch is a 4-hour networking brunch that will connect you with creatives in Barrie over food and cocktails.
Intel's Silicon Photonics Work Could Supercharge AI Neural Networks  ExtremeTechIntel has published new work on optical neural networks, showing they can be designed with fault-tolerance in mind, with latency ...
Pleora Introduces Modular, Scalable Sensor Networking Platform for Real-Time Military Imaging Systems  PR WebShowcasing at CANSEC 2019, RuggedCONNECT™ Networked Video Processing Unit is a fundamental building block for real-time sensor networks operating ...
Six Networking Lessons From The Venture Career Of Kate Shillo Beardsley  ForbesVenture capitalist, Kate Shillo Beardsley's career may have started in New York City – but with the growth of her network, her career, together with her personal ...
Proficio Wins Prestigious UK Networking Computing Award  GlobeNewswireHonored with 'UK Cloud Delivered Security Solution of the Year' Award for its Managed Security Services at Network Computing Awards 2019.
Cultivate networking habits, group urges Nigerians  The Nation NewspaperThe Founder and Moderator for "The Business of Purpose" Tobi Odukoya, has urged Nigerians to cultivate good networking habits to help them connect with ...
Windows 10 to warn about insecure WiFi networks using WEP or TKIP  ZDNetSupport for WEP and TKIP to be removed in future Windows 10 releases.
12 Tips On How To Maximize A Networking Opportunity  ForbesHow do you choose which events to attend? How do you maximize a networking opportunity? How do we maximize networking opportunities – and even ...
PICTURES: Simply networking evening at the Mercure Bridgwater Hotel  Somerset County GazetteBESPOKE cocktails and canapes were the order of the day for Somerset Chamber of Commerce's recent Simply Networking evening at the Mercure Bridgwater ...
Tata Communications and Cisco Redefine Enterprise Networking in the Multi-Cloud World with New Managed SD-WAN Solution  Associated PressPress release *content* from Business Wire. The AP news staff was not involved in its creation.
Affirmed Networks Launches Cloud-native 5G Core Solution for Mobile and Fixed Network Convergence  The Fast ModeAffirmed Networks announced the introduction of the Affirmed UnityCloud, a webscale, cloud-native 5G solution that allows mobile operators to seamlessly.
Ofgem cuts investor returns on UK energy networks  Financial TimesBritain's energy watchdog has cut the returns energy networks such as National Grid are allowed to make following fierce criticism of the monopolies that own ...
12 Indians arrested for running illegal networking business in Nepal  India TodayTwelve Indian nationals have been arrested for allegedly running an illegal networking business and duping several people in the Himalayan nation, according ...
Citic Telecom Adds VMware-Velocloud SD-WAN to Hybrid Networking Platform  SDxCentralCitic Telecom TrueConnect Hybrid platform provides customers with a full-stack of networking and internet services including SD-WAN.
Arista Brings 400G Platforms to Transform Cloud Networking  Yahoo FinanceArista Networks, Inc. ANET recently announced its new 7800R product family for 400G cloud networking, along with the latest generation of 7500R and 7280R ...
How single neurons and brain networks support spatial navigation  Medical XpressSpatial navigation is an essential cognitive function, which is frequently impaired in patients suffering from neurological and psychiatric disorders. Research ...
Event: Networking for people who don't do networking  Hong Kong Free Press[sponsored] To many, networking feels like an awkward activity, but it doesn't have to be. While the word “networking” might put you off, networking can be a ...
Sinister secret backdoor found in networking gear perfect for government espionage: The Chinese are – oh no, wait, it's Cisco again  The RegisterRight on cue, Cisco on Wednesday patched a security vulnerability in some of its network switches that can be exploited by miscreants to commandeer the IT ...
OBT network solution reconnects remote, detached workers - Networking  CRN AustraliaA lot of modern workplace transformation projects in the IT space deal with setting staff free from their desks by delivering hardware and software plat...
Chichester's 'Mumpreneurs' and the importance of networking  Chichester ObserverA networking group aimed at mums in business re-launched today with an aim of backing small businesses.
Meet ATX Networks' GigaXtend extended family  Broadband TV NewsATX Networks is introducing its GigaXtend family of extended-bandwidth, low-loss taps and passives. The company's latest innovation in next-generation ...
TP-Link’s new routers give you a huge mesh network for just $99  Digital TrendsTP-Link is looking to undercut the mesh-networking competition with its new Deco W2400 router two-pack offer. Available exclusively through Walmart, the ...
Women Legal Execs, Entrepreneurs Celebrate New Networking Venture: 'The Fourth Floor' | The American Lawyer  Law.comWhen The Fourth Floor first came into existence late last year, the fledgling networking group had an idea and a dream, but the concept was still in infancy and ...
'Vast' Far-Right Disinformation Networks Discovered in EU  The WireA report from the US-based Avaaz movement shows that millions of Europeans are being exposed to far-right propaganda on Facebook.
Health Concerns May Slow Rollout of Super-Fast 5G Mobile Networks, Analyst Warns  FortuneAs the wireless industry races to install thousands of new cellular sites to create super-fast 5G networks, questions about the impact of the new technology on ...
Aryaka raises $50 million for software-defined networking tools  VentureBeatSoftware-defined networking in a wide area network (SD-WAN) startup Aryaka has rasied $50 million from Goldman Sachs in a series F round.
Advisory firms in Austria and Switzerland join global networks  Consultancy.euAccounting and advisory networks GGI and Nexia have expanded their presence with new member firms in Austria and Switzerland.
For the First Time, Astronauts Edit Genes in Space  Technology NetworksFor the first time, astronauts have used CRISPR/Cas9 technology to edit DNA in space. The gene editing technique was deployed on the International Space ...
How Much Of E2E Networks Limited (NSE:E2E) Do Insiders Own?  Simply Wall StEvery investor in E2E Networks Limited (NSE:E2E) should be aware of the most powerful shareholder groups. Institutions often own shares in more established ...
Facebook found hosting masses of far right EU disinformation networks  TechCrunchA multi-month hunt for political disinformation spreading on Facebook in Europe suggests there are concerted efforts to use the platform to spread bogus far right ...
Randolph Area Chamber of Commerce to host free networking event June 6  New Jersey HillsRANDOLPH TWP. - The Randolph Area Chamber of Commerce and Randolph Economic Development Committee will sponsor "Randolph Business After ...
These apps aim to make networking easier for women  GMAHow to navigate adult life like a boss, from turning your job into a career to investing your hard-earned mone to building relationships and more. Because ...
Still in the Fight  Federal Bureau of InvestigationThe FBI and Marine Corps Wounded Warrior Regiment joined for a networking and training event to celebrate their long-standing partnership and expose the ...
Networking on Vessel: New A-List Speakers Announced for Coinsbank Blockchain Cruise 2019  CryptoGlobeIBM Blockchain Director and Ajit Tirtha from ConsenSys join the main conference lineup.
Wait, why the hell is the 'race to 5G' even a race?  The VergeSo much of the conversation around 5G implies that the US is in a "race," with carriers like Verizon and AT&T leading the way. But is that actually true?
Securing 5G Networks: Control Plane Evolution  Light ReadingNetNumber's Jee Alkebsi and Heavy Reading's Jim Hodges discuss the recent 5G Security Market Leadership Study (MLS) and what network operators are ...
Seahaven Superyacht Marina kicks off with Triton networking  The TritonThe newest marina in South Florida opened its doors to about 200 yacht captains, crew and industry professionals for Triton Networking last night. Attendees.
Huawei denies existence of ‘backdoors’ in Vodafone networking equipment  ZDNetThe 'hidden backdoors” reportedly could have been used to spy on Vodafone's infrastructure. Huawei says otherwise.
SAP, Uber Join Forces to Integrate Freight Networks  Transport Topics OnlineEnterprise software firm SAP and load-matching app developer Uber Freight have partnered to connect their shipper and carrier networks in an effort to improve ...
Mobile networks are suspending orders for Huawei smartphones  CNNHong Kong (CNN Business) Mobile networks in Asia and Europe are suspending orders for Huawei smartphones following the US decision last week to restrict ...
Workshop advocates plastic recycling networking  http://en.vietnamplus.vn/Bui Trong Hieu, Chairman of the HCM City Urban Environment Co. Ltd, speaks at the workshop in Ho Chi Minh City on May 23 (Photo: VNA). HCM City (VNA) ...
Japanese firms prefer to use 5G networks of domestic carriers  ETTelecom.comTOKYO: An overwhelming majority of Japanese firms have no plans to use 5G mobile networks by China's Huawei or other foreign firms, preferring instead to ...
Why are security experts worried about Huawei building 5G networks?  Euronews EnglishEuronews asks national security and China experts about the Huawei security concerns.
Microsoft Azure recovering from major networking-related outage that took out Office 365, Xbox Live, and other services  GeekWireAn outage that lasted more than an hour took out a host of Microsoft cloud services Thursday afternoon, as networking connectivity errors in Microsoft Azure also ...
The Evolution of Proteomics - Dr Richard Scheltema  Technology NetworksRichard Scheltema is an assistant professor at Utrecht University where he heads up the Scheltema laboratory within the wider context of the group of Albert ...
Huawei gets shutdown from mobile networks  The Hans IndiaMobile networks in Asia and Europe have issued suspending orders for Huawei smartphones following the US decision last week to restrict the company's ...
Skybox Security and Indegy Ventures into Cybersecurity for Networks  Enterprise Security MagSkybox Security will be integrating with Indegy to provide better protection to such networks.
Popular professional networking group, former president embroiled in suit  Massachusetts Lawyers WeeklyA local organization launched to foster professional collegiality is now embroiled in a bitter and potentially internecine legal battle between its founder and its ...
Existing 4G networks in India need to be strengthened to support 5G: NXP India  ETTelecom.comThe Indian arm of the Dutch global semiconductor manufacturer – NXP Semiconductors believes that the existing 4G network technologies in the country..
Array Networks invests $2 million in Array Center for Technology  LivemintBENGALURU: Array Networks, Inc., a networking company based out of Bangalore and California, on Wednesday said it has invested over $2 million in setting ...
Big Fat Smile outlines 2019 commitment to creating supportive, inclusive networks  The SectorA Circle of Security free parenting course, support playgroups, free school holiday activities and free counselling for parents suffering post-natal depression are ...
Fox’s Hit Spanish Drama ‘Locked Up’ Gets Spinoff, Launching 2020  VarietyFox Networks Group and Globomedia's Spanish series “Locked Up” has a final spin-off season.

10 Steps to Successful Networking

"It's not what you know, it's who you know."This old... Read More

Acknowledging Referrals! What?s in It For You?

I grew up in a household where saying thank you... Read More

Unforgettable First Impressions Part 4: Become a Social Gift Giver

Do you ever wonder why single people give flowers, wine,... Read More

How NOT to Waste Your Time Networking

Ever wonder if networking, referral groups, and conferences are a... Read More

7 Step Plan To Get Going With Networking

Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, feel like you... Read More

When Gifts Say More

What's a gift mean? If you're like me, you probably... Read More

Five Steps for Expanding Your Customer Base with Guerilla Networking

As a single company, it is impossible to provide your... Read More

Alcohol & Events

Many people associate alcohol with relaxation and fun, so it... Read More

The A-B-Cs of Networking

In the workplace - and when dealing with workplace matters... Read More

Sharpen Your Business Networking Skill To Grow Your Small Business

Most people become lax at maintaining their professional business network... Read More

Lesson 69 - When Networking Events Fail

The StoryIn a quest to create strategic alliances, coalitions, and... Read More

Follow-Up with Your Contacts

What happens when you meet a potential client at an... Read More

The Power of Word of Mouth

Most of us remember the commercial that said, "I told... Read More

Networking: What the Heck is a Ryze?

If you're new to the internet marketing club, you may... Read More

What I Do Is Not Who I Am... The Networking Factor

Ah, the personal touch that continues to make a big... Read More

Growing Your Network of People Can be Easy and Fun!

A few years back when I moved to Charlotte, NC... Read More

Community Involvement Networking

It is important for you to join at least one... Read More

Network Marketing Secret: On Becoming the ?GoTo? Guy

For years we've been taught to identify ourselves as reps... Read More

Franchisees Should Learn From Each Other

If you own a franchise you should be in contact... Read More

10 Top Tips for Successful Networking

1. Recognise the importance of networkingAsk any successful business person... Read More

Building Business Relationships in a Roomful of Strangers

You approach a stranger at an association meeting or industry... Read More

Networking to a New Life

Research shows that talking to strangers -- not people in... Read More

The Five Step Formula For Getting Prospects to Call You

Are you tired of prospecting for new business?Are you sick... Read More

How to Announce a New Product

How can the introduction of new products affect the way... Read More

Networking Know How

Networking, even to a seasoned professional, can seem intimidating or... Read More