First Year With Twins - A Father?s Point Of View

People always ask my wife and I: "How did you ever do it with two babies? I just can't imagine it". My answer is always the same?we just do. We just do what needs to be done. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's exhausting. Yes, it's stressful. But we find a way to get the things done that need to be done. That's really the key, is finding a way that works for you and your spouse. I've listed some things in this article that have worked for us, maybe you can use some of the same things to help you through the first year.

Get into a routine

I can't stress this enough. In my opinion, this is the most important thing during the first year if you've two or more babies under the age of one at home?get everyone into a routine and stick to it. Feed them at the same time, change diapers at the same time, put them down for naps at the same time, put them to bed at the same time, etc? This will make it a lot easier on you! If you feed them at the same time, you always know when they have been fed last. You won't be wondering, "was that Colby I fed a half hour ago or was that Camden"? Trust me, you will find yourself asking those kinds of questions. If you put them down for a nap at the same time, you can take a nap yourself!

If you don't get into a routine like this, you will always be feeding a baby, or changing diapers, or trying to get one of them to fall asleep. It won't be long and you'll be worn out, because there's always be something to do.

Sleep

I know that this seems impossible now with two children under the age of one, but you have to try and get enough sleep. I'm not saying that you can sleep as much as you did before you had children, but try and get as many hours of quality sleep in a row as you can.

When the twins were less than about 4 or 5 months old, and still not sleeping through the night, my wife and I worked out a system that seemed to work pretty well. Since she stayed home during the day while I went to work, we decided to sleep in shifts. Usually, she would go to bed between 8 or 8:30, and I would stay up with the twins. No matter what happened, they were my responsibility until about midnight or 1:00am. Sometimes they would sleep during that time, sometimes they wouldn't. It didn't matter, that was my wife's time to sleep. Then, at around midnight or 1:00am, I would change diapers and feed them again before putting them to bed. I also went to bed at that time.

Usually we could count on them to sleep for another two to three hours before they woke up again. That would put us in the 2:00am to 3:00am range. Then it was my wife's turn to get up with them, feed them and change diapers, and it was my time to sleep.

This system seemed to work pretty well for us?it was a way for both of us to get around five or six hours of quality sleep in a row. The bottom line is to find something that works for both you and your wife because you both are going to need as much sleep as possible to make it through the next day.

Divide and Conquer

For those of you guys out there that still believe it's a woman's job to take care of the baby, that's just not going to work with twins. If you expect your wife to feed the babies, dress them, give them baths, change all of the diapers, put them down for naps, she's going to be very tired and very irritable. You know how the saying goes?"when mom's not happy, nobody's happy".

So guys?get used to helping out. That includes helping out with the babies and around the house. Don't be afraid to change a diaper, make a bottle, do the dishes, sweep the floor. In fact, it's even better if you do these things without being asked or told to do them first. Trust me, it will be easier on everyone. Having two babies at one time is very time-consuming?there are always lots of things to do. Pitch in and your marriage as well as the babies will reap the benefits.

Make time for yourself

As anyone with kids can tell you, once in awhile you just need to get away and have some time for yourself. As much as you love your kids, sometimes you need time without the kids. My wife and I are both pretty flexible when it comes to allowing each other some time away. I don't mind when she goes to a movie with her friends, or plays bunco (whatever that is!) with the neighborhood bunco group. She gives me the same freedom to play golf or go fishing once in awhile with my friends. As long as neither one of you take it to an extreme, you should encourage each other to do it.

You also need to make sure you work in some time where you and your spouse spend time together without the kids. Don't feel guilty about it?think of it as a sanity check! My wife and I try and get our parents to watch the kids once in awhile while we go out for dinner or even for a weekend away. We just feel more comfortable having our parents watch them rather than a babysitter, but that's really more of a personal preference thing for us. However you do it, just make sure you and your spouse make some time for each other without the kids.

The house just isn't going to be as clean

This is an important lesson for first time parents of twins. Before my wife and I started having kids, we were both kind of anal about keeping the house spotless, straightened up, and things just so. It hasn't been that way for quite awhile now?and you know what, it just doesn't matter. Our house is usually a mess, the dishes don't get done as soon as they used to, and I don't cut the grass whenever I see a blade of grass higher than another. With all of the responsibilities that go with having children, especially under the age of one, you just won't have as much time as you used to. Get used to it!

About the Author

Dan Brunkow is the owner and moderator of http://www.twinadvice.com - a site dedicated to providing parenting advice to parents of twins, from parents of twins.

In The News:

How economic inequality gives rise to hyper-parenting  Washington PostThese days, residents of different countries often drink the same coffee, buy clothes from the same retailers and use the same social media apps. Globalization ...
Stay-at-Home Parenting Is Completely Overwhelming Me  SlateCare and Feeding is Slate's parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Email [email protected] or post it in the Slate Parenting ...
How To Be A Good Parent? 9 Common Parenting Mistakes Moms & Dads Make With Their Kids | T-Ann Pierce  YourTangoKnowing how to be a good parent isn't a perfect science, here are the 9 most common parenting mistakes mom and dads make without even realizing it.
Common parenting mistakes  BlueRidgeNow.comA journalist recently asked me for the single biggest mistake being made by today's parents. I was tempted to say, “Having children,” but stopped myself.
Why pushy parenting works after all | Weekend  The TimesFabrizio Zilibotti and Matthias Doepke expected to give their offspring the kind of relaxed childhoods that they had enjoyed in the Seventies and Eighties ...
Dr Justin Coulson: How to deal with temperamental teenagers  Daily TelegraphIf you are the parent of a 12 to 14-year-old, you wont be surprised to learn that parenting young teens is the hardest parenting gig going. If you only have toddlers ...
Parenting tips: How to help your teenage child deal with acne and its effects  Times NowIt is extremely important to treat acne and help your child deal with the effects of the condition. As parents, you may need to take extra care of your child's mental ...
Parents put 'intensive parenting' on a pedestal; experts say there's a better approach  Longview News-JournalImogen Dransfield's two sons don't get much sympathy from their mom if they tell her they're bored. Dransfield's own mother met the same complaint with an ...
Parenting with presence  soprissun.comAs usual, our favorite Mexican restaurant was packed. The parents at the table next to us didn't even flinch as their kids raced around not just their.
The screens and me: a crisis in parenting  National Catholic ReporterIf someone would just place a mitre on my head, I'd solve the problems of the Church — easily and quickly. Then, I get a whiff of my own hubris and realize how ...
The Early Years: Making sense of your child’s tantrums  The Indian ExpressBy Abha Ranjan Khanna. Advertising. Toddlerhood (between 12 to 36 months old), in particular, is a time for children to learn the bounds of acceptable ...
DeGale v Eubank Jr: Parenting, pedigree and retirement in focus in O2 Arena bout  BBC SportDoes James DeGale have enough left and did Chris Eubank Jr ever have enough? Two questions that form the spine of the debate for a fight which is close to a ...
17 Sweet Parenting Quotes From Drew Barrymore  HuffPostDrew Barrymore has a long list of accomplishments ― including actress, producer, director and beauty line creator ― but one of her favorite things to gush about ...
Teen dads stay afloat with help from parenting program  InterlochenAs teen pregnancy rates fall across the country, Grand Traverse County is struggling to bring them down. A new program in Traverse City may help; it's.
Triple P Parenting at Family and Childcare Resources of Northeast Wisconsin  WeAreGreenBay.comParents know that their children do not come with a manual.
Psychologist Dr. Rob Daniels talks teen anxiety and new book “Adventure’s in Parenting: The Playdate”  WGN TV ChicagoAdventures in Parenting: The Playdate is the first in a series of books that combines entertaining, interactive fiction with real-world expertise from a licensed, ...
Gay parenting 'boot camp' moves to Asia to meet growing demand from China  ReutersKUALA LUMPUR (Thomson Reuters Foundation) - The world's largest "boot camp" to help gay men become parents will stage its first Asia event next month to ...
Parenting in Manhattan is a Darwinian struggle  The GuardianA slew of new books treats child-raising like another branch of economics that only the fittest will survive, says Guardian columnist Emma Brockes.
Rich pickings: parenting tasks I’d pay never do again  The GuardianThe dirty bits of parenting we'd use Jacob Rees-Mogg levels of wealth to protect ourselves from.
Call for Australians to take an old-fashioned approach to parenting  NEWS.com.auAustralian parents are being urged to take a step back from the pressures of modern parenting and adopt a simpler approach to raising children.
Aspen Laugh Fest: Jo Koy on parenting, skiing and upcoming specials (podcast)  Aspen TimesComedian Jo Koy can't go more than a few days without doing stand-up. When he does, withdrawal sets in.“When I take a week off I look like a crackhead.
Peterborough author’s new book on parenting focuses on distracting digital devices  Global NewsIn her new book, "Happy Parents, Happy Kids," Peterborough author Ann Douglas offers insight as to how parents can cope raising their kids in a digital age.
Sometimes, Parenting Is Boring  The New York TimesTaking care of a young child can be the most fascinating thing in the world, but there are times, let's face it, when it is not.
Parenting tips: How to ensure your child is not bullied  Times NowAccording to a study conducted recently, it was found that children with multiple siblings are at a higher risk of being bullied in comparison to children with only ...
'Parenting in a Digital World' topic of free presentation  Coos Bay WorldBANDON - A free presentation of "Parenting in a Digital World" will be held from 6:30-8:30 p.m. Monday, Feb. 25, in the Bandon High School cafeteria.
KILDARE PARENTING COLUMN: GAA disco tunes spark memories of 'back in my day'  Leinster LeaderAs I stood at the entrance I could hear We Like to Party by the Vengaboys blaring out over the speakers. Read also: Traffic lights to be installed at busy north ...
uh-PARENT-ly Ep. 32 | Why helicopter parenting might not be so bad (and why NOT to move to Sweden)  WGN Radio - ChicagoIn his 1969 book Between Parent and Teenager, Dr. Haim Ginott talked to teenagers who said their parents hovered over them like helicopters. Since then the ...
Loose Women's Stacey Solomon reveals surprising parenting confession  HELLO! MagazineStacey Solomon is known for always being real and isn't afraid to open up about the bad as well as the good time. And this week, the Loose Women panellist ...
8 quotes on parenting by comedians that will make you laugh out loud  The Indian ExpressParenting is hard, no doubt and can transform your life in ways you can't imagine. These hilarious punchlines from celebrated comedians will tickle your funny ...
Revive Ministries to offer teen parenting courses  KSNB Local 4For those raising teenagers, it can be difficult to deal with all that comes with that process. That's why Revive Ministries is offering classes on how to navigate ...
Here are parenting tips to learn how to raise a reader  Miami HeraldReading can transport and transform us, making us laugh (and cry), introducing us to different cultures, and encouraging us to see and think about the world in ...
Parenting a procrastinator? It’s more complicated than you think.  The Washington PostHave you ever received an email from your child's teacher letting you know she assigned a project that would be due in three weeks? And have you then asked ...
These genius hacks prove we're all just trying to survive parenting  NBC NewsLike most new parents, Hillary Frank dove into parenting advice books after her daughter Sasha was born. “I was reading all these books about how to get her to ...
Anne Hathaway is following Prince William-Kate’s parenting trick. Here’s how it helps  The Indian ExpressAnne Hathaway has started following the royal couple's practice of bending down to maintain eye contact with their children while speaking, she said in an ...
Role shifts: What happens when addiction results in grandparents parenting  MinnPostSharon Olson had been a mother for decades and a grandmother for only a few years when she got a call that would change her life forever. “I was at work,” ...
Fort Pierce Class in Fort Pierce teaches 'Secrets of Modern Parenting'  WPTV.comKimberly Eardley heads up "Families of the Treasure Coast" and is behind a course called the "Secrets of Modern Parenting."
Making parenting a little easier  The Herald ArgusMICHIGAN CITY — “We believe that parenting is not an easy job. Many parents have questions on what to expect and that's what we are here for.”
Parenting Advice To Help Ease The Heartbreak & Effects of Divorce On Children | Dr Karen Finn  YourTangoParenting children of divorce requires divorced parents to work together by doing these 10 things every day so they can ease the heartbreak and effects of ...
Problems with today’s parenting  NEWS.com.auPARENTING has never been more stressful, with mums and dads moving cities even countries for jobs, leaving behind the backup of family and friends, experts ...
Katie Price ignores latest parenting criticism as she shares adorable new video of daughter Bunny: ‘Beautiful moment’  CelebsNowKatie Price has snubbed her latest parenting criticism by sharing an adorable family moment with her daughter Bunny in new Instagram video.
SC lawmakers consider "Free Range Parenting bill"  WCBD News 2Mount Pleasant, SC (WCBD) - In South Carolina, Lawmakers are looking at a “Free Range Parenting Bill”. The legislation would change the current state laws ...
NRL Player vs. Parents: Is parenting harder than sport?  Now To LoveIn a new experiment, NRL star Kalyn Ponga proves Aussie parents work harder in a day than a professional rugby league athlete does during a match.
Parenting Advice For Raising Good Kids Who Are Happy & Healthy | Lianne Avila  YourTangoRaising healthy and happy kids can be a challenge to some parents but taking these 6 parenting advice to heart will allow you to spend time with your children.
Khloe criticised for parenting approach | Entertainment  Jamaica Star OnlineKhloe Kardashian is fed up of being criticised for her approach to parenting. TheKeeping Up With The Kardashians star finds it “annoying” how she is constantly ...
Susie O’Brien: Not all parenting hacks work, because tricking kids is an art form  Herald SunOnce upon a time, parents put whiskey on their kids gums when they were teething, left them in wooden baby jails on the back lawn and attached them to leads ...
Will Harry and Meghan's Parenting Style be Similar to William and Kate's?  The Cheat SheetPrince Harry and Meghan Markle are having their first child soon. Will they borrow any parenting styles from Prince William and Kate Middleton?
Prince Harry reading military parenting book to prepare for Baby Sussex  New IdeaPrince Harry has reportedly taken to reading military-style parenting books to help him prepare for the imminent arrival of his first child with wife Meghan Markle.
'If this was my job, I'd quit.': Mum's candid admission about parenting goes viral.  Mamamia"If this was a job, I'd quit." A stay at home mum's post about the realities of parenting and its challenges has gone viral.
20 Little-Known Details About Natalie Portman's Parenting  BabyGagaThere are some celeb parents out there who will post about every detail of their child's life—and then there are celeb moms like Natalie Portman, who would ...
Russell Brand's 'inept' parenting is unacceptable and not at all cute  USA TODAYThe "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" star said he feels "inept" when parenting. All parents do. But they also learn basic childcare skills. So should he.
The Constant Gardener: Hein Koh Talks Parenting, Photoshop, and Her Sprawling Rockefeller Center Show -  ARTnewsA few weeks ago, on one of the coldest days of the year, anthropomorphic, one-eyed flowers began appearing all over Rockefeller Center in New York.
The Best and Funniest Dad Tweets of the Week  FatherlyAs a dad, there's nothing better than hearing a hilarious insight or story from the world of parenting. And lucky for you, dads love to share all the funny things that ...
Funniest Parenting Tweets From This Week: February 15 | Moms  MomsThe funniest parenting tweets from last week each nail how weird and hilarious and frustrating this whole parenting thing is.
'Parenting' is on its way out, child-rearing is coming back | Rosemond  Reno Gazette JournalThere is “parenting” and then there is bringing up, rearing or raising children. The difference is night and day; so are the outcomes.
Edith Bowman: Parenting is harder than anyone admits  Telegraph.co.ukWe asked the DJ and broadcaster, 45, what her childhood self would make of her life.
Parenting in the age of legal pot: Household rules, conversations help guide teen use  Science DailyThe legalization of marijuana in Washington state in 2012 gave parents the opportunity for a new teachable moment. Many say that as society has become more ...
PARENTING: Nurturing our kids with healthy soul food  Sarasota Herald-TribuneOne of the most obvious jobs of parenting is to nurture our kids, and a major part of nurturing has to do with feeding them. Most of us understand that what we put ...
What free-range parenting is and how it could change the way SC children are supervised  WBTW - Myrtle Beach and Florence SCA bill in the South Carolina senate would clarify state law saying that parents who let their kids go off on their own are not neglectful.
Vauxhall embraces messy reality of parenting in Crossland X campaign  The DrumVauxhall has launched a new campaign poking fun at luxury SUV owners who are so proud of their fancy motors they won't let their kids drag dirt in.
Open Letter to Faculty of Color Parenting While On The Tenure-Track  Diverse: Issues in Higher EducationWe are compelled to write this open letter to our fellow faculty of color colleagues who are navigating tenure-track while raising little humans. As graduate st.
Carrie Bickmore posts Instagram photo showing the reality of parenting  NEWS.com.auCarrie Bickmore has shared a brutally honest post about the realities of parenthood — and people are loving it. The 38-year-old shared two contrasting images ...
IIT Madras to work on predicting pregnancy outcomes and childhood mortality  The Indian ExpressThe Indian Institute of Technology Madras is going to collaborate on applying advanced analytical approaches for predicting pregnancy outcomes with ...
20 Best Parenting Books - Top Resources for Raising Children  WomansDay.comThere's no such thing as a perfect parent. Even the best moms and dads in the world need advice every now and then. Check out these great reads, which cover ...
Kate Middleton Made This Surprisingly Relatable Parenting Confession  The Cheat SheetKate Middleton shared a parenting confession during the recent Mental Health in Education conference.
The economic case against free-range parenting — and in favor of being a helicopter parent  MarketWatchWe love the idea of “free-range” parenting. Our childhoods in the 1970s followed this approach to the letter — and it was a lot of fun. Our parents did the bare ...
Being Baba: Protect your baby from the monsters out there  The Indian ExpressBy Mihir Joshi. Advertising. “Close your eyes Have no fear The monster's gone He's on the run and your daddy's here. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Beautiful boy ...
Stacey Solomon reveals she’s ‘given up’ on parenting as she shares pic of sons using THREE TV screens at same  The SunThe Loose Women panellist took to the photo-sharing platform to document her boys Zachary, 10, and Leighton, six, relaxing on grey bean bags while they took ...
LIVING WITH CHILDREN: Parenting or child-rearing? The difference is like night and day  GoDanRiver.comThere is “parenting” and then there is bringing up, rearing or raising children.
Hecht: Parenting little piggies  Asheville Citizen-TimesIf messiness is a sign of genius, as some studies say, then nearly every child I meet must be one.
What Divorced Parents Need to Know About Co-Parenting After the Split  FatherlyWhen divorced moms and dads commit to co-parenting a kid can thrive in what is essentially a new kind of family. But it's not an easy task by any stretch of the ...
What your star sign says about your parenting style  The StandardWhether you take horoscopes seriously or with a pinch of salt, they can be a lot of fun and get us thinking about the character traits we possess. The fact is, our ...
The exhaustion that comes with parenting is crippling at times, writes Jane Lundon  RSVP Live"The doctor explained that the first thing she prescribes working mothers is a cleaner"
PARENTING: Empowering the knight in our kids  Sarasota Herald-TribuneA major duty of parenting is to nurture our kids and part of the definition for nurture is to cultivate, support, encourage and train. There are many things that we ...
Baba And Deedee: Why Some Parents Pick Titles Beyond 'Mom' And 'Dad'  HuffPost CanadaSome LGBTQ parents are shaking the monikers up.
Real Housewives Give Their Best Parenting Advice to First-Time Dad Andy Cohen  PEOPLE.comThe stars of the hit reality TV franchise are the ones guiding their Bravo boss now.
South Korean mums parent at resorts – while the kids learn English  South China Morning PostOverseas programmes combining leisure time for mothers and studying English for children are big business especially since there is growing demand for ...
Parenting An Extrovert In An Introvert-Centric World  NPRMark Oppenheimer is a father of five. He recently wrote a piece for The Washington Post about how to raise an extrovert. He and his extroverted daughter Anna ...
Anne Hathaway took parenting tips from Kate Middleton  HELLO! MagazineAnne Hathaway has revealed that she's adopted a parenting technique that Kate Middleton and Prince William use for Prince George, Princess Charlotte and ...
Prince William Gives New Dads Advice on Parenting ‘Fragile’ Infants: ‘It’s Very Daunting’  Us WeeklyPrince William shared parenting advice for new dads raising 'fragile' infants at a charity event on Thursday, February 14 — details.
Similarities in Parenting and Friedreich’s Ataxia  Friedreich's Ataxia NewsColumnist Kendall Harvey shares some similarities she sees between life with kids and life with a progressive disease, affecting both humor and sanity.
Pamela Adlon on Parenting: 'Kids Are Not Enough'  VarietyPamela Adlon says that while parenting is "incredible," having kids shouldn't stop a person's journey of self-discovery.
Positive Parenting: “It's never too late to parent”  WKOWYou might have heard that to raise a child, you need to “nip” bad behavior in the bud early. But a new study shows that's not necessarily the case.
Parenting After Breast Cancer  Curetoday.comCancer changes the way we look at our future. After all, we have just been assured that we can no longer count on our bodies not to throw us a curveball, and ...
Queen of Sweden visits parenting project  University of Cape Town NewsSweden's Queen Silvia delighted residents of Touwsranten, a small town in the Western Cape, and staff of the Seven Passes Initiative earlier this month when ...
The Bad News About Helicopter Parenting: It Works  The New York TimesNew research shows that hyper-involved parenting is the route to kids' success in today's unequal world.
Reasons behind grey hair in child | Parenting Tips  ABP LiveThere are some health conditions that can cause gray hair in children. Vitamin B12 deficiency can also cause gray hair. Will it be a fruitful day for you? Will the ...
Kate Gosselin Defends Her ‘Overzealous’ Protective Parenting: ‘It Comes From a Place of Love’  Us WeeklyKate Gosselin defended her 'overzealous' protective parenting style, explaining that 'it comes from a place of love' — details.
New book offering 1000 parenting tips includes 30 Cape Breton mothers  Cape Breton PostIf you are looking for parenting advice, 100 moms are ready to help, with many of their tips having a Cape Breton touch. Doreen Coady, formerly of Sydney and ...
'The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel': Rachel Brosnahan on Midge's Parenting  TVLine'The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel' star Rachel Brosnahan pushed back at fans calling her character Midge a 'terrible mother.'
Why do so many parents think this is the right way to raise kids?  The Australian Financial ReviewParents are holding themselves to sky-high standards, largely to ensure their children's academic and financial success, child development and parenting ...

Talk Your Child Clever

Most parents can hardly wait for their baby to say... Read More

Vehicle Safety - Following Simple Vehicle Safety Tips Can Reduce Auto Accidents and Injuries

Child Car Seat Safety:We know you love your children, but... Read More

School Holiday Survival Guide

The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More

Back to School Care Packages!

I am crying tears of joy mixed with great sadness... Read More

Strengths and Weaknesses

All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More

My Sweet Little Valentine

Valentine day has always been a special day in my... Read More

Why Do People Have Kids?

Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More

Thirteen Values You Can Teach Through Homework

Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to... Read More

Ten Tips for a Great First Day of School!

Many children are jittery on the first day of school.... Read More

Where Is Your Homework, Lisa?

Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More

Paediatric Osteopathy

All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More

Top 20 Items To Pack In A Diaper Bag

1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More

How Effective is the Nutraceutical ATTEND with ADHD?

I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More

Free Stuff for Twins: Incentives for Parents of Multiple Births

A sure way to double the joys of parenthood is... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Ask Yourself Some Questions

Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More

Back to School

It is hard to believe that summer is coming to... Read More

Bad Company

Here we will come to know who are the most... Read More

Childs Play: Treating The Insanity of the Mental Health System

In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More

Is There Any Real Use For A Fun Quiz?

Q. I don't like my children spending so much time... Read More

Partnering With Your Daycare or Preschool

For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More

Playground Pettiness

Recently I took my two children to a popular new... Read More

14 Romantic Time-Outs for Parents

Here are fourteen spontaneous time-outs, specially designed to help you... Read More

MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part I

"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think... Read More

You Want Whaaat???

Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More

Finding Out Your Child Has a Disability: Its Not the end of the World

Finding out that a child has been born with a... Read More