Every Mom Worries

Sitterphobe "I never have a second to myself," this mother tells you (and tells you and tells you). You agree, judging by her slightly frazzled demeanor, that she could use a break. Maybe a trip to the gym. A date with her husband. Time to herself. So you recommend the great babysitter you've found. She responds with one of those "but-I-love-my-children" looks. And says something like: "Nobody can care for a child as well as her own mother."

Reality check: "A lot of mothers suffer incredible guilt about needing help to care for their children," Dr. Berger says. "And if Mom works full-time, the guilt is compounded. Every spare second, she figures, needs to be lavished on her kids." Trouble is, an overwhelmed mom isn't going to be on top of her game. Every parent (and every marriage) can benefit from the occasional kid-free outing. "It recharges your batteries and allows you to breathe in a different kind of atmosphere," Dr. Berger says. "When you take care of yourself, you take better care of your kids." And if you don't work outside the home, hiring the occasional sitter teaches your children that people other than you can provide them with care and safety. Besides, there's another bonus to getting away every now and then: When you return home, not only will you appreciate your kids even more, they'll appreciate you more too.

Cold Cop A one-woman germ patrol, this mom is always on the lookout for telltale signs of germs that can cause colds. When you're around her, you're forever fearing that your child may -- horrors! -- sniffle or cough, resulting in one of Mrs. Germophobe's nervous "you're-putting-my-children-at-risk" looks.

Reality check: The fact is that kids get an average of six colds a year, says Eric Neibart, M.D., an instructor of infectious disease and internal medicine at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, in New York City. Thus, at any given time, a good 10 to 15 percent of your child's peers are contagious. And the culprits are impossible to detect, since colds are contagious a few days before symptoms appear and from two to ten days after. "Even a doctor can't tell you exactly when a cold is no longer transmittable," Dr. Neibart says. So unless you care to raise your child in a bubble, he's going to catch colds -- lots of colds. And that's okay. For the most part, colds are more of a nuisance for kids than a serious health problem. As for proper cold etiquette? Keep your child home until any fever or lethargy has subsided. Then, once he's feeling better, let him go about life as usual.

Mommy Einstein She plays Mozart CDs for her infant, uses flash cards on her toddler, and spends her week chauffeuring her children to and from karate, art, soccer, piano, ballet, and more. After an hour with one of her French-speaking, tennis-acing prodigies, you ditch your secret hope of an Ivy League education for your preschooler (whose extracurricular activities include playing "Princess Barbie Gets Married" and painting her shoes with nail polish).

Reality check: "There's simply no evidence that overexposing young children to flash cards, Mozart, or early-reading programs leads to higher intelligence or even better SAT scores," says child and adolescent psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., coauthor of The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper- Parenting Trap. Yet our culture pressures concerned parents to begin early if they want their child to be academically competitive. "That attitude is doing much more harm than good," Dr. Rosenfeld says.

Sugar Shunner This mom enforces a strict no-sweets policy. No cookies, candy, or ice cream. Her idea of a "treat" is a granola-and-yogurt "sundae."

Reality check: Loading up on nutritionally void sugar calories isn't wise, but forbidding sugar entirely isn't the answer either, says Lynn Marotz, Ph.D., R.N., a professor of human development at the University of Kansas and coauthor of Health, Safety, and Nutrition for the Young Child. Completely restricting sugary foods can backfire big time: Instead of having a child who occasionally indulges his sweet tooth, you may create a kid obsessed with cookies, candy, and cake.

About The Author: Shelley Borle is a Virtual Assistant, Writer & Expert On Boys. Visit Her Country Variety Lifestyle Magazine http://www.countryvariety.com/CVL.htm as well as her CountryVariety.com Professional Virtual Services site http://www.countryvariety.com. Email [email protected]

In The News:

Parenting in difficult times  The Jewish Standard
Real time parenting  Bangalore Mirror
Everyday Parenting Tips  The New Yorker
Parenting just got a lot harder  Redwood Falls Gazette

So You Want to Adopt?

Many reasons will cause some people to feel the need... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: How to Respond to Manipulation

Q. My daughter has gotten very good at manipulating us,... Read More

When Everybody Does It Comes Back to Haunt You

Parental example, whether for good or for bad, is undoubtedly... Read More

Helping Your Child Cope With A Long-Term Illness

All children will likely have many different health problems during... Read More

MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part III

Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More

Visiting the Library

Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More

Diagnosing ADHD in Your Child, an Introduction

Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More

How To Help Your Child Learn

Just as every snowflake is unique, so is every child.... Read More

STOP Parental Alienation Syndrome before It Gets a Chance to START

Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: When is it OK to Quit?

Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More

How Do I Get My Child to Read?

Well first off, please to don't institute the ½ hour... Read More

Fun Things to Do with Your Kids this Summer

10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More

Gifted Children - Getting the Balance Right

One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child... Read More

Jammin with Your Kids: The Wonderful World of Music

Does music need to be "dumbed-down" for kids? The answer... Read More

Old Wives Tales and Other Things That Just Might Help with ADHD

Here are some tips that I have picked up from... Read More

True Romance for Couples with Kids: 10 Inexpensive Ideas

Anyone can splurge on a formal dinner or a pricey... Read More

Ten Tips for a Great First Day of School!

Many children are jittery on the first day of school.... Read More

How to Raise Creative Kids

"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More

Co-Morbidity Rates: Other Problems That May Come With ADHD

Diagnosing children and teens with ADHD can be a challenge.... Read More

Public Schools Can Waste 12 Years of Your Child?s Life

For over fifty years, public-school officials and politicians have tried... Read More

Why A Father Is Not A Dad

It can be said that any man who procreates is... Read More

Understanding Why Your Child Has Been Recommended for Testing

You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More

Childrens Discipline: How To Resolve Divorce Parenting Differences?

Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More

The Metamorphosis of The Brain: Raising Your child to be a Brainiac

The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in... Read More

10 Universal Laws for Parents of Teens

1 "Law of Belonging": The greatest need of teenagers (after... Read More