If at First They Dont Succeed - What a Great Opportunity!

When kids try new things, sometimes it's a 'fit' and sometimes a struggle.

So what's a parent to do when they find that a child is floundering in a new activity? What if your son is in over his head? Or your daughter is not doing as well as either of you had hoped? What if they even fail outright?

Often, they're tempted to give up. Just to quit. And with the busy schedule facing most families, supporting that decision can be a real temptation.

But what's the lesson from that? Quitting just makes it easier to quit again later, or, worse still, can stifle the urge to tackle future challenges.

When faced with failure at a new activity, another option is to help your child to take a lesson from the experience. Before they leave a troublesome or difficult activity behind, is there something that they can learn that will help them to do better the next time?

The topic of 'my child's failures' is a tough one for some parents to look at. But here's a hint: try hard to keep them just that-your kids' failures.

If you're concerned that their performance reflects on you, you're right. It does. But the 'performance' that most adults care about is the one that has to do with your child's values and character. The child who picks herself up, dusts herself off and gets back into the game, shows a level of resiliency and confidence that is a credit to both of you.

No teacher, coach or fellow parent ever looked down on a parent whose child gave 100% effort. If your child isn't talented in sports, but tries and gives his and demonstrated good sportsmanship, you'll be regarded as a good parent.

Andrea Patten, LADC is the co-author of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement now available on Amazon.com

For more information about the Four Foundations, or to book Andrea to speak to your group, please visit http://www.whatkidsneedtosucceed.com

In The News:

What is ‘tag team’ parenting?  The Indian Express
How the Pop It! Invaded Your Home  The New York Times

Does Your Child Need A Bedtime Routine? - Yes!

Do you struggle to get your child to bed at... Read More

Time Out for Adults

"Get down from the table top right now! What are... Read More

Potty Training Caveats- Dont Start Too Soon

The First Reason: For one thing, child development experts are... Read More

So, My Child Has Been Recommended for Testing - What Do I Do Now?

You've just received a call from your child's teacher. As... Read More

Parenting

This article on parenting is by a practicing relationship counsellor/therapist,... Read More

What About ADHD Teens and Driving?

This is one of the most common questions asked of... Read More

A Dialogue with an ADHD Non-Believer

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More

Your Big Yellow Bus

The big yellow school bus is coming down my road... Read More

Secret Of Your Genuis Child

Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More

Birth of a Parent

So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change... Read More

A Chart for Everything

For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart,... Read More

Social Engineering via Robotic Toddlers

Is there a way to build a robot to help... Read More

Calming Tips for Hyperactive Children

Parents of hyperactive children know the "Would you please just... Read More

Top 50 Mom Quotations

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I... Read More

Childs Play: Treating The Insanity of the Mental Health System

In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More

Road Trip with Kids

Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More

You Want Whaaat???

Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with... Read More

How Do Campers Protect Their Children?

Oh yes you have! Suddenly, "Where's Bobby?" You instantly realize... Read More

Mom, Dad and the Big Brother

Software for parental control is a useful tool, if applied... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: What to Do When Your Teen Feels Left Out

On a recent Saturday evening, I noticed a young teen-age... Read More

Babys First Month at a Glance

Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More

Saying No To Our Children

Saying no to our children is not always easy or... Read More

Am I Really A Stroller-Monger?

I was reading "A Modern Infant Armada", a humor column... Read More

Career Education: Does Not Mean the 6 Year College Plan

Researching career education uncovered the following shocking statistic: The average... Read More

25 Things That Matter When Relating To Our Children (Leaving A Legacy Of Love To Those We Love)

In my opinion, these things matter...1. Enjoying childlike delights before... Read More