Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
Im a Father, Doesnt Anyone Care? > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

Im a Father, Doesnt Anyone Care?

The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the shovel. My back ached, and I was chilled to the bone.

I'd had enough for one day.

I entered the house and heard the sounds of voices engaged in a friendly game of cards. My wife and kids were sprawled out on the floor of the family room, and they were oblivious to my arrival. "Hi guys!" I yelled. There was no answer. "Hi there!" I tried again. "You can't use that card!" I heard my daughter shriek.

Then the thoughts started to come. "I'm invisible to them!" I told myself. "All the stuff I do around here, and does anybody notice it? I'm working my tail off again, and they're in here playing!" As I went downstairs, I took along some heavy baggage with me.

I took blame with me, and a sense of feeling justified in my blame. My wife and kids were to blame. In my victim-filled mind, they should have been there at the door to greet me with hugs and kisses. They should have been filled with adoration at the wonderful job I did on the driveway. And they should have taken me right to the couch, where a back massage and warm food would comfort me. (The fantasies of victims can be pretty wild!)

I can't say that I felt good blaming them, but I did feel justified. And for those of us who occasionally feel victimized by our families, feeling justified can be plenty. It allows us to feel "right," while they're "wrong," and it allows us to "prove" how worthy of blame they are.

Once again in my role as a father, I'd made the fundamental error. The error that prevents us from being who we were meant to be.

I'd gone into my head, and away from my heart.

I was expecting my family to "give" me love. You know, the love that I was "owed." Fortunately, love doesn't work that way. I'd forgotten that I wasn't a parent to "give" or "get" love. Our job as parents is to discover love as the fundamental fact of life. It is to bring this expression of our love into the world. It's more a matter of "being" love than giving it.

Parents across the world have reason to be grateful, for we've all embarked on the world's most complete and intensive course on love. While we may resist it at times, we're called virtually every day to express the deep reservoir of love within us. And sometimes, because we're busy blaming others, we miss the call completely.

Fathers go through periods when they feel "outside" of their family. They feel neglected, or they feel invisible. Or, they feel like they're just a "paycheck" to their families. But what's really happened is they've forgotten they're not on this planet to "get" love from their family members.

They're here to discover the boundless love that's always been in them.

I calmed down my thoughts and emerged from my "victim's dungeon." "Hey Dad, want to play some cards?" my son called. I dropped myself down onto the ground next to my family. "Sure, what's the game?"

My back was feeling better already.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com. or email him at mark@markbrandenburg.com.

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

Kids may get a break from school, but parenting is a 24/7 job
The Daily Herald
It's also important to think about parenting in the coming summer months. Here are some points to consider. Limit electronics. Sigh. I hope families take this seriously. I am increasingly concerned by the overconsumption of electronic distraction ...


NPR

Animated History: The Evolution Of Parenting
NPR
The Great Wall of China. A walk on the moon. Genome sequencing. How did we humans, who share almost all of our DNA with chimpanzees, end up doing all that, while they ended up pretty much where they started? Some scientists will tell you it was ...


CBS New York

Parenting Expert Offers Tips To Avoid Kids' Academic 'Summer Slide'
CBS New York
CBS2's Cindy Hsu talked with parenting expert Chrissy Khachane on how to keep kids on track. Tip #1. The most important skill parents can spend time on over the summer is reading. Children should read for 20 minutes a day (for young children, this ...

and more »

Patch.com

2 CT Communities Among Safest For 'Free-Range Parenting'
Patch.com
Free-range parenting. You've heard the term in the news, but what exactly does it mean? According to Wikipedia, it "is the concept of raising children in the spirit of encouraging them to function independently and with limited parental supervision ...


Chicago Daily Herald

'You Were Made for This' explores marriage, parenting and deception
Chicago Daily Herald
"You Were Made for This" by Michelle Sacks, Little, Brown, michellesacksauthor.com/, 352 pages. Appearances sometimes are not just deceiving but can hide fissures so deep and fractured that tragedy can seem a surprise when it occurs. Michelle Sacks ...


Slate Magazine

My Kids Have Heinous Taste in Fashion
Slate Magazine
Care and Feeding is Slate's parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Email careandfeeding@gmail.com or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. Dear Care and Feeding,. My husband and I have always been fairly ...


Tallahassee.com

Tough love parenting is difficult but necessary | Opinion
Tallahassee.com
Despite what the critics would have you believe, there is good reason to think President Trump may be the only “grown up” in the room. Republicans and the Democrats have been debating immigration issues for decades. Tragically, these discussions have ...


Delano.lu

Leave those kids alone: 'helicopter parenting' linked to behavioural problems
Delano.lu
The study looked at to what degree mothers of toddlers dominated playtime and showed their child what to do, and then studied how their children behaved over the following eight years, revealing that controlling parenting is linked to a number of ...
Study: Helicopter Parenting Linked to Emotional Problems in ChildrenPJ Media

all 2 news articles »

Newser

One Kind of Parenting Is 'Form of Abusiveness'
Newser
(Newser) – Helicopter parenting usually gets a bad rap, and this is no exception. A recent study suggests that children who are more controlled by mothers will end up struggling with their emotions, impulses, and schoolwork later on, the Guardian reports.


Chicago Tribune

'The worst model of parenting imaginable:' Phones keep us physically present, emotionally removed
Chicago Tribune
Erika Christakis has written a beautiful, troubling essay for The Atlantic that I hope every parent reads. “The Dangers of Distracted Parenting” sounds an alarm about the gradual decrease in the quality, if not the quantity, of the time we spend with ...

Google News

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Q. "What do you want to be when you grow... Read More

Top 20 Items To Pack In A Diaper Bag

1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More

Potty Training Caveats- Dont Start Too Soon

The First Reason: For one thing, child development experts are... Read More

Alias: Aptitude

Be aware. You may become totally overwhelmed when you get... Read More

Our Recommended Eating Program for ADHD

Below is a copy of our eating program for Attention... Read More

Is Your Teen Swamped with Homework and Tests?

I hear from many parents that their child is stressed... Read More

Adoption: Laughter and Tears

If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More

Top Ten Ways to Teach Values to Your Kids

In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values you don't approve... Read More

Time, Stress, and a Baby

The main thing we noticed since having a baby is... Read More

Top 20+ Reasons to Pay your Kid an Allowance

1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More

Choosing Wooden Toys For Children

Wooden toys are one of the best alternatives for the... Read More

Psychological Effects of Child Abuse

Many children who suffer from the psychological effects of child... Read More

How Well Do You Know Your Child?

Do you think you really know your child? I don't... Read More

How Children Can Read Faster and Better

For most children, it is easy to learn to read... Read More

Mom, Dad and the Big Brother

Software for parental control is a useful tool, if applied... Read More

Did You Get the Hidden Parenting Message in Finding Nemo?

In the movie, Finding Nemo, Nemo's father, Marlyn asks the... Read More

Coping with the Stress of Moving Home and Childrens Concerns

Moving house can be an emotional experience for adults, so... Read More

What To Do With A 6 Year Old Smart Mouth Know It All

Just the other day, I was talking to some other... Read More

Childrens Books And Educational Toys - Can They Still Be Fun And Have Educational Value

It was no contest. Given a choice between a ball... Read More

Encouraging Your Child to Write

How in the world do you get your child to... Read More

Parents Rights Violated By Public School Compulsory Attendence Laws

Compulsory attendance laws are school authorities' first assault on parental... Read More

Homework Doesn?t Have to Be a Battle of Wills

Homework. It doesn't have to be a daily battle of... Read More

Why Fathers Are Such a Necessary Component in the Raising of Their Children.

The first year of a child's life is the most... Read More

Labor of Love

The small, lilac colored hexagonal box, with Winnie the Pooh... Read More

Hints on how to encourage children to read

Hints from Ruowen Wang? Keep a small basket filled with... Read More