STOP Parental Alienation Syndrome before It Gets a Chance to START

Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by Dr. Richard Gardner in his book of the same name. He first laid out his thesis in 1985 in an article, "Recent Trends in Divorce and Custody Litigation." He expanded this into the book "Parental Alienation Syndrome," and since then, PAS has been written about, studdied, debated, denied, and - of course - has had dozens of websites and forums dedicated to it.

A brief overview of PAS will be helpful and will explain more about this condition than quoting from the hundreds of articles written about it. PAS has 4 components, and all 4 must be present (otherwise the situation is called "Parental Alienation"):

(1) --parent acting as gatekeeper to the children

(2) --unfounded allegations of abuse

(3) --deterioration in the relationship between child and parent from once-healthy to fearful

(4) --fear reaction of the child to the alienating parent

In other words, the alienating parent (usually the custodial parent) falsely accuses the non-custodial parent of an act of abuse against the child (2), makes these allegations to the child (2), uses these false allegations to restrict the contact between the parent and the child (1), which deteriorates the relationship between that child and the parent (3). During this process, the custodial parent is instilling fear in the child of opposing the false allegations (4), which - if it is effective enough - can make the child convince himself that the allegations are true.

PAS must be dealt with IMMEDIATELY. Sometimes the custodial parent may not be doing this consciously (custodial parent likes the power from (1), but if challenged, invents an abuse allegation (2) to continue, enjoys seeing the child turn away from non-custodial parent (3), which is reinforced by the custodial parent (4)), which is all the more reason that it must be challenged before it gets a foothold in the mind of the child.

Most states have petitions (a form of injunctive relief) to force visitation to occur IF the non-custodial parent is current in supoort AND there is no justifiable basis for the unilateral suppression of visitation. This is an extremely powerful weapon for the non-custodial parent, and the relief is immediate. The problem is that, for some reason, they are not as familiar with attorneys or judges. Youu may have to press your lawyer to file this.

Most states also have petitions to hold the custodial parent in contempt of court for violating court-ordered visitation schedules. These petitions are more familiar, but they seek to enforce visitation by making its denial painful to the custodial parent.

These petitions may not work the first time, but repeatedly bringing them may convince the judge to address the problem before the children actually hate the non-custodial parent, without any basis other than spite and meanness of the custodial parent.

Erik Carter is an experienced family law litigator. He has created a website to help non-custodial fathers at http://onestop.easystorecreator.net He has also written two books: "Aggressive Pleadings For The Non-Custodial Father" http://dadspleadings.easystorecreator.net and "Six Temptations Of Jesus Christ" http://www.knowledge-download.com/Six_Tempt ations

In The News:

Conscious Parenting  Citizen Times
Live: Nurtured Heart Parenting Course  COLlive - Chabad News
Parenting During A Pandemic  Georgia State University News
Parenting Pandemic Style  PsychCentral.com

Imaginations Soar

Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More

My Dads Secrets

From the book Spider's Night on the BoomI've only begun... Read More

Children Need Roots and Wings

"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe... Read More

The Better Behavior Wheel - A New Kind of Calm in the Family

There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More

Teaching Kids the Value of Money

My husband and I have a 12-year-old daughter who wanted... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: How to Build Trust

``Mom, can I go to the mall with my friend... Read More

Top 20+ Reasons to Pay your Kid an Allowance

1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More

A Dads Thoughts On Dads day

21 Reasons I Love Being A DadWhat you will read... Read More

Is Your Child Becoming A Praise Junkie?

Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic... Read More

Small Children, Languages and Myths

Our children are growing up bilingual in the French part... Read More

Difference

There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More

10 Secrets To Know You?re A Good Working Parent To Your Kids!

How are parents to know they are doing the right... Read More

How to Take Charge of the TV

Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it.... Read More

How to Teach Anger Management to Your Child

Most of us recognize the continuing escalation of violence around... Read More

Child Separation Anxiety: Does Your Child Have It?

If you are a parent, then more than likely you... Read More

The Seven Keys to Child Obedience

Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More

Examining Drugs for ADHD, Particularly Strattera

In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More

Public Schools Can Waste 12 Years of Your Child?s Life

For over fifty years, public-school officials and politicians have tried... Read More

The Science of Mother Love

A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way... Read More

The Secrets To Improving Childrens Behaviour

Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by... Read More

Nanny 911 and Disciplining Your Child

Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More

When Your Chicks Leave the Nest

When my son was 18 (and had finished school), he... Read More

Protect your Kids Early with Safety Glasses

What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More

Let Your Children Name the New Baby

Choosing a baby name is an important job, so make... Read More

How Kids Learn To Cooperate In Video Games -- A Guide for Parents and Teachers

A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games... Read More