Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
Consistent Boundaries Makes Discipline Easier > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

Consistent Boundaries Makes Discipline Easier

Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many times, however, either the children are in charge or the parents are so eager to be liked, that whatever rules and standards are talked about, few are enforced, especially on a consistent basis.

Children, whether they are two or 18, feel more confident when they know that you, the adults, are in charge and that their environment is predictable and safe. They need to be taught what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, what is appropriate, and what is rude and out of place.

Though they will get mixed or conflicting messages from the television, magazine and friends, they need you to set and enforce clear, respectful rules and limits. They need to know that you expect them to do and be their best.

By providing this guidance you will help them learn how to be responsible, contributing members of society.

Consistency in discipline is the number one factor in successful families: It is important that love, respect, cooperation and expectations are unconditional.

Consistent boundaries within the family are pretty predictable; for instance:

* They will grow up knowing that mom and dad must know the 4 Ws before they are allowed to leave with friends. WHO are the friends, WHERE are they going, WHAT are they doing, and WHEN will they be home.

* A child can count on dinner being at six o'clock or there about.

* They need to know that bedtime is 8:30 on school nights and that homework is done before playtime.

But sometimes in life, opportunities come up that make boundaries and rules flexible. A relative visits from out of town, so it might be okay for the kids to stay up till 9:30 one night to enjoy the experience. Rules can bend occasionally, but if they get broken, we are all in trouble.

As long as the family knows that in general, there is a structure that they can count on and limits to what is accepted and what is not, they will flourish in a system that gives them guidelines and direction.

Consistent boundaries and standards give a child and the whole family a feeling of security and safety. It is within this environment that self-discipline and life skills begin to flourish and develop.

When we, as a community as well as a family, give consistent messages to our children concerning dangerous and unkind behavior, it will be easier for them to forgo temptation to participate. It is our responsibility as adults to help them learn and live by the basic rule that actions have consequences.

Those children who develop a habit of thinking about the connection will be in a position of strength. Their choices will be immeasurably easier to make because they have been given a framework for decision-making.

Repair or rebuild the boundary, if necessary

I encourage you to be firm, consistent and kind in your discipline. It is vital to always follow through. Don't make threats, make promises. If you take away TV privileges the first time he doesn't take out the garbage, but ignore it the second and third time, he will soon learn that you don't always mean what you say. The child will learn how to be a manipulator, and you will still have the misbehavior to deal with. You are the adult, and so it is your job to repair the fence when it is broken or stretched out.

Boundaries don't fence us in but rather they allow us freedom to grow and develop, knowing that we are safe and loved unconditionally. It is never a guessing game of what will happen but rather a sure foundation.

You can do it. I believe in you. You are doing the most important job in the world, raising self-disciplined, thoughtful and contributing children.

© Judy H. Wright, Author, Speaker and Life Educator www.ArtichokePress.com

This article was written by Judy Wright, parent educator and author. Feel free to use it in your newsletter or publication, but please give full credit to the author and mention the contact information of JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com, 406-549-9813.

You will find a full listing of books, tapes, newsletters and workshops available on finding the heart of the story in the journey of life by going to www.ArtichokePress.com

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

Kids may get a break from school, but parenting is a 24/7 job
The Daily Herald
It's also important to think about parenting in the coming summer months. Here are some points to consider. Limit electronics. Sigh. I hope families take this seriously. I am increasingly concerned by the overconsumption of electronic distraction ...


NPR

Animated History: The Evolution Of Parenting
NPR
The Great Wall of China. A walk on the moon. Genome sequencing. How did we humans, who share almost all of our DNA with chimpanzees, end up doing all that, while they ended up pretty much where they started? Some scientists will tell you it was ...


CBS New York

Parenting Expert Offers Tips To Avoid Kids' Academic 'Summer Slide ...
CBS New York
NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) – One of the biggest challenges for parents ever summer is preventing the “summer slide,” when children lose academic skills and ...

and more »

Patch.com

2 CT Communities Among Safest For 'Free-Range Parenting'
Patch.com
Free-range parenting. You've heard the term in the news, but what exactly does it mean? According to Wikipedia, it "is the concept of raising children in the spirit of encouraging them to function independently and with limited parental supervision ...


Chicago Daily Herald

'You Were Made for This' explores marriage, parenting and deception
Chicago Daily Herald
"You Were Made for This" by Michelle Sacks, Little, Brown, michellesacksauthor.com/, 352 pages. Appearances sometimes are not just deceiving but can hide fissures so deep and fractured that tragedy can seem a surprise when it occurs. Michelle Sacks ...


Slate Magazine

My Kids Have Heinous Taste in Fashion
Slate Magazine
Care and Feeding is Slate's parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Email careandfeeding@gmail.com or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. Dear Care and Feeding,. My husband and I have always been fairly ...


Tallahassee.com

Tough love parenting is difficult but necessary | Opinion
Tallahassee.com
Despite what the critics would have you believe, there is good reason to think President Trump may be the only “grown up” in the room. Republicans and the Democrats have been debating immigration issues for decades. Tragically, these discussions have ...


Delano.lu

Leave those kids alone: 'helicopter parenting' linked to behavioural problems
Delano.lu
The study looked at to what degree mothers of toddlers dominated playtime and showed their child what to do, and then studied how their children behaved over the following eight years, revealing that controlling parenting is linked to a number of ...
Study: Helicopter Parenting Linked to Emotional Problems in ChildrenPJ Media

all 2 news articles »

Newser

One Kind of Parenting Is 'Form of Abusiveness'
Newser
(Newser) – Helicopter parenting usually gets a bad rap, and this is no exception. A recent study suggests that children who are more controlled by mothers will end up struggling with their emotions, impulses, and schoolwork later on, the Guardian reports.


Chicago Tribune

'The worst model of parenting imaginable:' Phones keep us physically present, emotionally removed
Chicago Tribune
Erika Christakis has written a beautiful, troubling essay for The Atlantic that I hope every parent reads. “The Dangers of Distracted Parenting” sounds an alarm about the gradual decrease in the quality, if not the quantity, of the time we spend with ...

Google News

Thriving As A Family When You Live In The Fast lane

It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change... Read More

?Mommy, I Can?t Sleep!?: Sleep Disturbance in Children

Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!Are you often a participant in... Read More

What Do You Teach Your Children About Money?

Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More

Discipline

Discipline is a necessary part of parenting yet it makes... Read More

Keeping the Stress out of Single Parenting

Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More

Disciplining the Wild Child

Do you have a wild child? Then this article may... Read More

Authoritarian Parenting, Permissive Parenting, or Loving Parenting

Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept... Read More

Why Wont My Child Do as I Say?

In speaking with parents a comment I frequently hear is... Read More

Top Three Reasons To Get Involved At Your Childs School

You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More

Single Parenting: How The Challenge Of Single Parenting Affects Your Decision To Divorce

Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is... Read More

Positive Parenting of Teenagers: Helping Your Teen Understand What I Cant Afford It Means

Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More

5 Solid Reasons: Why Your Child Can Be An Achiever

All of us, including your child, entered this world equipped... Read More

How to Assist Troubled Teens

What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet... Read More

Stress is No Kiddy Matter

Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More

Shopping with Children

Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More

Public Schools --- Why On Earth Do We Need Them?

From the time the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in... Read More

The Muffed Dance

Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More

Guide Your Kids! This 3-D Map Leads to Character

A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling... Read More

5 Tips for Improving Communication With Your Teenager

Parents are always looking for ways to open up the... Read More

Choosing the Perfect Jogging Stroller

When choosing the perfect jogging stroller, a very important question... Read More

What the Matter Is

When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my... Read More

How to Give Your Child Encyclopedic Knowledge?

When you talk about multiply your child's intelligence, you can't... Read More

Why A Father Is Not A Dad

It can be said that any man who procreates is... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Ask Yourself Some Questions

Annie easily slipped into becoming the sole caregiver of her... Read More

Car Wash Fundraiser Preparation

Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group?... Read More