Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
How Can I Teach My Child To Be Responsible? > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

How Can I Teach My Child To Be Responsible?

Most of us when asked what we want our children to become, we include "responsible" among other things such as happy, fulfilled and caring. We want our children to learn to make wise choices, be responsible for their actions and live responsibly.

Do we teach children to become responsible by simply giving them chores to do? That's part of it for sure but only part of it. What about learning to be responsible for their actions? What kind of messages do we give out that either encourage or discourage a child to become responsible? How are we at taking responsibility for our actions?

Expecting children to participate in the running of the household can begin as soon as they learn to walk. It simply makes a statement that they are a valued member of the household and are capable of making a contribution. We can start by providing hooks at their level so they can hang up their coats, by providing large plastic bins so toys can be easily accessed and put away, and by providing plastic dinnerware so they can clear their own dishes away. The older children become, responsibilities can be added according to what you're comfortable with and what is appropriate for their age. If we get into the habit of always doing things for them that they can do for themselves, we give them the message that they're not capable.

When we discipline through natural and logical consequences we teach children to become responsible for their behavior. Physical punishment, nagging and lecturing seldom works in teaching a child to act responsibly. They instead learn to fear us and the result is a parent/child relationship that is not based around mutual trust and respect. Our job as parents is to help make children accountable for their behavior.

Offering choices provides many opportunities for children to learn responsibility. Life is all about choices and we can begin offering a choice of 2 or 3 things to toddlers. They learn to live with the consequences of their choices and it says to them that they are capable of making a choice which in turn encourages mutual respect and a healthy sense of self-worth.

How often do we as parents take on the problems of our children when in fact it's they who own the problem? We become overly anxious around homework not completed, an argument with a friend, or any number of things that truly have nothing to do with us. When we allow our children to take ownership of their own problems and learn to detach ourselves, we teach them to become responsible for their actions. We also give them the message that we know they are capable of handling the problem. We can instead offer guidance with questions such as: "What would you do differently next time?" "What do you think will happen if you don't finish this?" We can still guide and support without fixing.

How are we at assuming responsibility for our own actions? Are we quick to blame others for things that go wrong or do we take ownership for our part in a problem? If we constantly blame others for things that go wrong in our lives, we teach our children to become victims. They don't learn that the only person that can fully take charge of what happens to us, is ourselves. People who live responsibly take action to change rather than react and blame others.

Recommended reading: "Raising a Responsible Child" by Dr. Don Dinkmeyer and Dr. Gary McKay.

Barbara Desmarais is a Parenting and Life Coach. She works with parents both privately and in groups helping them to find solutions to their parenting challenges. She has worked with parents for over 16 years.

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at

Baltimore Sun

The good, bad and horrific of parenting on display at Baltimore's American Visionary Art Museum
Baltimore Sun
Otherwise, they are eerily realistic, down to their facial expressions. One, “Daydreaming Girl,” is on public view for the first time at the American Visionary Art Museum as part of the new yearlong themed exhibit “Parenting: An Art without a Manual.” ...

Sarasota Herald-Tribune

PARENTING: Beware the enemies of authenticity
Sarasota Herald-Tribune
A few years ago, a blogger for the Huffington Post said, “Perfection is out; authenticity is in.” It was a message to parents to encourage kids to strive to be the fullest version of their true selves rather than a nearly perfect version of what other ...

Living with Children: The myth of parenting determinism
Bristol Herald Courier (press release) (blog)
The myth of parenting determinism, that's what. Parenting determinism is the notion, relentlessly promoted by mental health professionals, that every action on the part of a child can be linked to an action on the part of or something about his parents ...

and more »

Pinterest parenting: How millennials are upping the ante are
Over the weekend, it was reported that the couple - who are around 12 weeks pregnant - have already hired a top parenting coach in the shape of Connie Simpson. If nothing else, Harry and Meghan are determined to do everything right for their (very ...

Spartanburg event discusses single parenting, community support
SPARTANBURG, SC (WSPA) - Parenting the next generation - that was one of the main topics of an event Monday by the Spartanburg County Foundation. There are more than 23,000 single parent households in Spartanburg County. In the city of ...

Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart: Co-parenting isn't easy
The 'Grey's Anatomy' actor and the 46-year-old actress have two daughters Billie, eight, and Georgia, six, together, and after splitting in February they have now revealed that co-parenting "isn't easy". Rebecca said: "We're doing our best. It isn't ...

and more »

Parenting Group
Waterbury Republican American
Therapists Kathy Dowling, LMFT, and Jennifer Rocher will lead the group in a family-centered approach to parenting children with challenging behaviors. Course cost is $80 per family; a sliding fee scale is available. Materials will be provided. Space ...


Mary McCormack's real-life kids don't understand her 1970s parenting on 'The Kids Are Alright'
(NEW YORK) — The kids may be alright but the parenting techniques of the 1970s were a bit questionable. Mary McCormack, who plays no-nonsense Peggy Clearly on the ABC comedy The Kids Are Alright, says even her own children are horrified by the ...

and more »

CT Post

Helicopter Moms and Dads: Another terrible trend in parenting
CT Post
And if Billy Jumped Off The Bridge … Parents. But maybe I am being unfair, I thought. Maybe lawnmower parenting actually is something new? Maybe a trend has emerged in which parents are employing a child-rearing strategy that involves manual labor?

Psychology Today (blog)

The Power of Yes in Parenting
Psychology Today (blog)
(2013) provided strong evidence that one's own tendency to manifest dark traits was significantly related to one's perceptions of having parents who were emotionally cold and non-supportive, suggesting that there is a link between parenting and the ...

Google News

Communication Mistakes Parents Often Make - And Easy Ways To Correct Them

As parents, we love our children and want to do... Read More

Moms - Get More Energy Now

Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect... Read More

Couch Potatoes Beware!

It's no surprise that the self-image and self-esteem of overweight... Read More

Busy Moms, Dont Forget to Take Time Out for You!

As mothers, we play so many different roles and most... Read More

Raising Kids on a Budget

There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase... Read More

Helping Your Child Develop

Here are some things that you can do to help... Read More

Effects of Jealousy on Childs Personality

Dear friends here we will charge up our mind with... Read More

Parents Need to Vent Anger! Try These 4 Steps to Serenity

Parents are losing their self-control to anger. A friend called... Read More

Ten Ways to Help Your Child Make Friends

Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent or teacher more... Read More

Teenagers and Stress: What Parents Can Do to Help

More and more parents are expressing their concerns about how... Read More

Why Do People Have Kids?

Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More

Back to School; Time to Recharge

The back-to-school shopping is done. Brand new pencils, colored markers,... Read More

Parenting Predicaments

Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More

Childrens Discipline: How To Resolve Divorce Parenting Differences?

Did you know that inconsistency on matters of discipline gives... Read More

Teaching Problem Solving Skills to Children with ADHD

Even though the "Stop and Think" movement in ADHD treatment... Read More

Homeschooling ? Can I Do It?

Many parents would like to homeschool their children but are... Read More

Children Cooperate When Appreciated

Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?Children... Read More

Children and Mom and Paper

Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire... Read More

Healthy Eating For Children: Six Simple Rules

Rule #1 Make Every Bite Count!Everything your child eats should... Read More

Guide to Choosing a Computer System for Your Child

Before going further into choosing computers for children, I believe... Read More

How Public Schools Lie to Parents and Betray Our Children

Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More

Simple Indulgences for September

As the kids go back to school, you can go... Read More

Lets Protect Our Children

There are software programs that you can purchase to keep... Read More

The Homeopathic Nutraceutical Attend as an Alternative to Ritalin

You no longer have to use Ritalin or other stimulants... Read More

Peer Pressure - Five Ways to Help Teenagers Beat Peer Influence

Young people generally want to fit in to their various... Read More