Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
Its OK to Say No > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

Its OK to Say No

In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to a new style of parenting that is much more democratic than most of us experienced, growing up. Families are more child- centered than they were before, we no longer advocate spanking as an effective form of discipline, we often allow children to negotiate for privileges or things, and we're much more involved in our children's lives than most of our parents were in our lives. Parenting is much, much less autocratic than it was in previous generations.

As with many other changes we make over time, sometimes we take a good thing too far and it no longer serves the purpose it was intended. Offering choices, using natural and logical consequences, and using a kinder tone in our voice are all excellent tools to achieve desirable results. However, often we forget that it's still OK to simply say "no" when a child asks for something we consider unreasonable. They might be asking for a toy that is not suitable for their age or is beyond your budget. They might already have more toys than they can possible use. They might be asking to go somewhere and you know you don't have the time or energy to take them there. They might be asking for a sleep-over or for a friend to come over to play and you're simply not in the mood. You have the right as a parent to say no and then leave it at that. We don't have to always give long explanations as to why they can't have something or go somewhere. We don't even have to raise our voice. A simple, "No, not today" is enough. If we let them, they'll try and manipulate us with cries, whines, temper tantrums and any number of other ways to get us to change our mind. If we ultimately do change our mind to please them, we've essentially taught them that they can control us to get what they want. How do you stop your child from manipulating you into changing your mind? First of all, believe in yourself. Know that you know what is best for both you and your child and it's not in anyone's best interest if you give in. Also, tell yourself that you're not going to get hooked and simply walk away or change the subject. Children are very skilled at making us feel guilty. Remember that children that have unclear boundaries are less secure than those that have clear boundaries.

Now that you know it's fine to say no, it doesn't mean that you can't change your mind. If you've said no to something and later change your mind after you've thought about it, it's OK to go back to your child and say: "You know, I've been thinking about what you were asking about and I've changed my mind." We don't want to be doing that all the time, but changing your mind doesn't make you an indecisive parent. Who doesn't change their mind now and again? Remember, we're human.

Barbara Desmarais
Parenting and Life Coach
http://www.theparentingcoach.com
barb@theparentingcoach.com
604-524-1783

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

News 12 Bronx

Parenting 411: Avoiding the summer slide
News 12 Bronx
All content © 2001 - 2018 Frankly and NEWS12. All Rights Reserved. For more information on this site, please read our Privacy Policy, Terms of Service, and Ad Choices. sorry to interrupt. your first 20 are free. Access to News 12 is free for Optimum, ...


Today.com

Couple with dwarfism talk about parenting, happiness
Today.com
In the documentary “Far from the Tree,” Joe Stromondo and Leah Smith share how their dwarfism hasn't kept them from a life filled with love and family. Stromondo explains that “the biggest difficulty of being a little person isn't our bodies, but it's ...


HuffPost

Dad's Funny Comic Sums Up Parenting In The Age of Fortnite
HuffPost
Over the years, Brian Gordon has made a name for himself with Fowl Language Comics, his hilarious and relatable series about parenting. One of his latest comics deals with a pop culture craze that has swept millions of households: Fortnite. Gordon, who ...


Bristol Herald Courier (press release) (blog)

Lori Borgman: She doesn't give parenting advice, but if she did
Bristol Herald Courier (press release) (blog)
I always think long and hard when people ask me for parenting advice. I tell them it was all I could do to parent our own children; I'm not about to advise them on how to parent theirs. The real danger is once you start dispensing advice, it ...


Psychology Today (blog)

What Factors Are Associated With Positive Parenting?
Psychology Today (blog)
Before reviewing the details of the study, let us consider the meaning of positive parenting. Positive parenting refers to warm, nurturing, and responsive parenting, the kind of parenting that reinforces good behavior and avoids using inconsistent or ...


Lifehacker

How a Smartwatch Can Make Parenting Easier
Lifehacker
I didn't buy a smartwatch because I thought it might make parenting easier—I bought it because it was cute and shiny and I like new toys. (I owned a Casio calculator watch long before they were popular. Oh, wait: They were never popular.) It's been ...


THV11.com KTHV

Parents declutter life and parenting style with help of Conway company
THV11.com KTHV
CONWAY, Ark. (KTHV) - The minimalist parenting movement is helping parents simplify their life and calm the ''crazy'' that parenting can sometimes bring. Now, a company in Faulkner County is going into homes and helping families apply principles of ...


The Sun

Mum reveals how you can stop your toddlers destroying the bathroom just by using a hair tie
The Sun
Better still, the inventive mum also locked the bathroom cabinets using the boys' own plastic toys - like we said, the woman is a genius. Unveiling the parenting hacks on her Instagram account, Kimberley invites her two "trouble-makers" to "do [their ...

and more »

Times Square Chronicles (press release)

Look After Your Kids' Well-Being With These Great Parenting Ideas
Times Square Chronicles (press release)
Being a parent in this day and age is so important, and you have to make sure you do what you can to look after your children properly. There are many more dangers in the world these days and a lot more things that can affect your kids, so you need to ...


Romper

Comedy Didn't Prepare Me For My Least Funny Parenting Moment So Far
Romper
Imagine this scenario: you're sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying dinner with your husband and sweet four year old daughter. And you bring up that the mom of the new girl at pre-school, we'll call her Dylan, said Dylan wants to have a play date ...

Google News

The Truth About Motherhood

What is the mystery of motherhood? I know that when... Read More

How Public Schools Coerce Parents Into Giving Mind-Altering Drugs To Their Children

Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More

Teach Your Kids to Cook Well, Eliminating Excessive Health Care Needs in the Future

We are all aware of the child obesity epidemic that... Read More

?Gimme? Proof Your Kids: How To Keep Your Child?s Materialism In Check

It's the first day of the summer holiday. Five year-old... Read More

What is Incest?

Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between... Read More

Surprising Fun Solution to Kids Moods and Attitudes

As a parent, are you at your wits end? Does... Read More

Kids And Chores - Make It Easy On Yourself!

My neighbours' kid impressed me the other day.I was busy... Read More

Successful Treatment Planning for Attention Deficit Disorder - ADD ADHD

O.K. So now you have taken the step of having... Read More

Road Trip with Kids

Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More

How to Cope With Colic

When my oldest daughter was born, I walked the floor... Read More

Stop, Look, Listen! Steps to Better Parenting Communication

As a parent is seems that the majority of your... Read More

Keep the Little Ones Safe, Follow Pool Safety Guidelines

Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More

Why Do People Have Kids?

Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More

Getting Through to Your Teenager

Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that... Read More

The 5 Babysitter Commandments

Having a babysitter take care of your kids is sometimes... Read More

Children Cooperate When Appreciated

Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?Children... Read More

Best Tips for Stress Free Child Party Games

When planning a child birthday party, just a little bit... Read More

Fizzy Sherbet ? A Sweet Science Lesson for Your Kids!

Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More

Where Is Your Homework, Lisa?

Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More

Awesome Dads Top Ten Communication Intentions

An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that... Read More

Imaginations Soar

Have you ever sat and watch a child struggle with... Read More

Eating Disorders in Children

If I had a dollar for every time I persuaded... Read More

Because Every Child Is A Born Genuis

Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science of understanding... Read More

Positive Parenting - Oops! I Really Lost My Temper With My Kids, What Now?

Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret... Read More

Attaboy! Encouraging Phrases That Build Confidence

Home, home on the range, Where never is heard A... Read More