Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many people care more about themselves than others and do what they like with little consideration for people whom may be affected by their action. It is quite a sad thing. You can see that there are is a general lack of loyalty and commitment to people own belongings. For example,
increasing number of adultery cases (a lack of loyalty to family and spouse)
vandalism and destroying of public properties (lack of loyalty to country)
increasing cases of cheating in the corporate world and white collar crimes (lack of loyalty and commitment to the organization)
There is a need for us to teach loyalty to our children - loyalty to family, to country, church, schools and other organizations and institutions to which commitments are made. We have to teach them about reliability and consistency in doing what they say they will do.
Here are some general guidelines that help you to teach loyalty to your children:
Highlight Your Own Dependability
Make yourself an example of being dependable. We do things every day that illustrate our loyalty to our children and show our dependability in the family. However many of these things are so automatic that they are seldom noticed and seldom used as visible examples of important moral values.
At home, I often tell our 4-year-old daughter Ethel "Papa need to go out to work today so that I can bring in the money for the family to buy food and things that we need". She understands it so well that she said to me some time ago, "Papa, I'll love that you can stay at home more often and keep me company. However I know that you need to go out and work because we need you to bring in the money. So don't worry, just go. You can keep me company when you are back tonight." Honestly I feel very proud and touch by her sensitivity.
Last Sunday, Ethel forgot to bring her favorite toy to her English lesson ? it is for the "show and tell" activity. She called me on my phone while I was at the hospital visiting my mom. She sound very sad and started to cry on the phone. Knowing how kids feel when they forget something that the teacher tell them to bring, I quickly said to her "Don't worry my dear. I will definitely bring your favorite toy to you before your class begins. You can count on me. Just tell me what time your lesson starts". And indeed, I arrive just in time for her lesson. That save her tears and added another point to her trust in her daddy that she can always count on him if she needs help.
Here are two more examples that you can use to highlight to your children about your dependability. Instead of saying, "I'll pick you up after your lesson." say "I will be there before 4 p.m. You can count on it." Instead of just going to the concert where your child will be performing, tell her that "Papa will definitely be at the concert because I love you and I want to be with you and support what you do!"
Tell your children often that you will be there for them especially when they are going through difficult time. And take credit and pat yourself for your dependability and loyalty for your family. It makes you feel good and it is also the best way to instill the same qualities in your children.
Thanks Your Children and Praise Them for Every Evidence of Their Own Dependability
Praising your children reinforce the value and show them how often dependability can be used. Thanks your children when they are on time for an event or when they help you or their younger siblings. For example, whenever our 4-year-old daughter helps me to bring me the potty, baby wipe or food for her baby brother, I often say to her "Thank you my dear for your help. I can always count on you to help your brother."
So make a commitment today, to never take for granted any act or evidence of dependability or loyalty. You can help your children to develop the great value of loyalty, dependability and reliability.
Article by Alvin Poh, founder of Learning Champ, a parenting website that provides information and resources to parents, who want to help their children develop the important skills and mind set for a brighter future -> http://www.alvinkh.per.sg/learningchamp