5 Ways to Absolutely Destroy Your Finances!

Ben Stein has a book called How to Ruin Your Finances. To be honest, I'm not sure an entire book is needed on the subject-there are some fairly quick and easy ways to accomplish the task. (Before continuing, let me be clear that I do not actually recommend such activities-This is a reductio absurdum argument, meant to spur an opposing realization.)

#1: Buy everything, yes, everything

You never know when a neighbor may come over to use your dish towels, so make sure they are Ralph Lauren, less than six months old, and all the same color. While you're at it, buy things that you don't need now, but may need in the future, such as eleven new sweaters, a top-of-the-line treadmill, and some bestselling novels (just in case you ever read the 38 already on your bookshelf).

#2: Charge all purchases

That way you can itemize all your spending, which is sort of like budgeting. When the bill comes each month, be consistent-pay only the minimum. If there's anything left at the end of the month, see #1.

#3: Don't be concerned about retirement

That's what Social Security is for! Our country is run by intelligent economists, and they'll make certain there's enough for you in 25 years.

#4: Buy a $4 million home, with 1% down, and a 30-year mortgage

Then, spend your entire working life paying it off. Don't worry if you haven't invested in anything else-you can sell the home when you reach 65, rapidly adjust your lifestyle to match your new one-bedroom condo, and live off the difference.

#5: Start being frugal 'tomorrow'

Please, finish your $7 mocha latte and go about your day. After all, this article was obviously written for the other guy!

© 2005 Matthew S. Clement, All rights reserved

Matthew S. Clement is a financial planner and investment advisor representative with Financial Network Investment Corporation, member SIPC. He provides holistic wealth management and retirement planning to individuals and businesses. He can be reached in New York at (845) 942-8578, or by email: [email protected]

In The News:

Reassessing Personal Finances  The New York Times

The Benefits of Banking Online

How many drawers did you have to look through to... Read More

The Joys of Address Labels

Address labels are many things to many different people. If... Read More

University: A Course in Personal Finance

Recent findings from the Educational Policy Institute indicated that the... Read More

Saving Money On Gasoline For Your Automobile

The gas that we fill our tanks with every week... Read More

Save Money on your Clothing Budget. Tame the Closet Monster!

Reducing the clothing budget was a serious challenge for me.... Read More

How to Choose Wisely a Credit Card

So, you've made the decision to apply for a credit... Read More

Save Money on Gas

Gas prices have soared to unimaginable heights of late. Since... Read More

Is There A Retirement Crisis?

When people speak about the increasing age expectancies, they generally... Read More

Help With My Annuity

The cries are heard from the distance, "I need help... Read More

Single Mother Resources Directs You Towards Success

As a parent you are bound to face a few... Read More

Family Money Management: The Importance of Agreement

Are you having problems with debt? Are you afraid to... Read More

How to Save Money in a Grocery Store

Now there are ways to save money in the grocery... Read More

How Electronic Checks Work ? Will Paper Checks Eventually Go Away?

Traditional checks probably won't disappear anytime soon, but processing checks... Read More

Are You Ready To Be Fired?

Your boss has just informed you that your department is... Read More

Government Grants - Beware of Scams

As the saying goes: "Buyer Beware". If you see ads... Read More

Save On Food - Ten Tips

To save on food, be an opportunist. Buy what you... Read More

Do You Really Need the Power of Money Management Software?

I have been a loyal user of Quicken(R) for more... Read More

Car Donations and Used Car Donations

Car donations and used car donations are the way many... Read More

5 Ways to Absolutely Destroy Your Finances!

Ben Stein has a book called How to Ruin Your... Read More

10 Steps to Take if You Are a Victim of Identity Theft

There have been an estimated 9.9 million victims on America... Read More

Financial Security

1) HOW TO LOOK FOR A JOBA) The Chronological Curriculum:1.... Read More

UK Parents Inactivity Harming Their Children?s Future University and Mortgage Savings

The British government at the beginning of this year officially... Read More

Money Matters: Strengthen Your Marriage by Putting Finances in Order

Did you know that 43% of all married couples argue... Read More

Budgeting the Key to being Financially Stable

Single Mother's in need of Financial GuidanceBudgeting is key to... Read More

Grocery Savings - Your Kitchen is a Goldmine!

Your food budget is the most flexible area of your... Read More