Animal Communicator

I have a business card burning a hole in my Rolodex. It's from an animal communicator. Someone who allegedly interprets mental pictures from animals. I love my dog dearly. He communicates with very expressive eyes and I don't seem to have much trouble" getting" him. But because I'm so attached to him I've been toying with the idea of going that step further to find out what's really in his mind. So why don't I?

Well. Some givens going into the situation. What goes on in dog's heads is important to them. They're not likely to give you a tip on the fifth at Santa Anita. They think about food, toys, other dogs. And although I'm not quite sure how the process works I don't think it's like Karnak the Magician where you can ask questions.

But back to why I don't just call the number and set up an appointment.

Maybe I'm not sure I want to know what my dog thinks of me or what goes on in his head. After all he is privy to all our secrets.

I once read a story, supposedly true, about a cat that peed on his owner's bed every Sunday morning and at no other time. His mommy called in an animal communicator who asked the cat why he peed on the bed every Sunday. The cat replied that when mommy left the house to go to Church some other woman came in with her husband and they both booted him out of the bedroom. So he took a leak just to screw with them.

This may be an urban legend like the poodle in the microwave. But it sure makes you think twice about animal ESP.

I wonder what my boy would say about us to total strangers.

" My mommy drinks wine sometimes and gets sad when daddy goes out? Daddy looks at pictures of naked ladies on the Internet when mommy goes to yoga class. They watch way too much TV. It hurts my ears".

And how do they say anything? Do they use words? How can they say they like peanut butter if they don't know that peanut butter is called peanut butter. To them it's a pill delivery product.

I know that my dog adores me. I believe it's unconditional. But what if I found out that what he was really thinking as he was jumping up at me as I came through the door was "You jerk, you left me alone for five hours and I've got to pee like a racehorse." Little though he is he has the heart of a lion if he thinks I'm being threatened. But what if what he really felt was "I can't believe I've got to step up AGAIN to get between you and this weird looking bum. Don't you know better than to open the door to just anyone!"

I've been racking my brain trying to think of some human benefit from the limited amount of interspecies communication we've had so far. We were able to train dolphins to mine harbors so I guess you could say that that benefits us. But weren't some of them blown up in the process? So, not so good for them. What about poor KoKo. Have we treated gorillas any better since we discovered they could experience bereavement and sadness?

Ultimately, what it may come down to is that I love my dog, and all animals, precisely because I can't communicate with him in any kind of human way. I don't need to reason with him; make a case; persuade him; or be critiqued on my wardrobe. I tell him what I want him to do and sometimes he actually does it. He tells me what he needs and he gets it. We have a pretty good system. If it ain't broke why fix it?

Mary Rosendale is the proud mama of Wally Barker. See his advice column on her blog http://theconstructedlife.blogs.com/cle ar_and_present When she's not tending to his every need she is a Holistic Life Coach with a unique Coaching service rooted in Buddhist psychology. Visit her on the web at http://www.TheConstructedlife.com If you can't play - what's the point?

In The News:

PETS OF THE WEEK | Lifestyle  Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal
Some new ideas for your pets  Stamford Mercury
February is all about pets |...  Journal of the San Juan Islands
Adoptable pets in Tucson  Arizona Daily Star
ANIMAL WELFARE: Adopt a pet  Stillwater News Press
CAPA Pet of the Week: Tiombe  Santa Maria Times
Budgeting for a pet  MoneySense
Pet of the Week: Bravo  Times Record News

Canine Hip Dysplasia (CHD)

What is Canine Hip Dysplasia?Canine Hip Dysplasia (CHD) is a... Read More

What You Should Know About Your Dog And Frustration

Because your dog lives with humans, he's going to have... Read More

Cushings Disease

As our horses enjoy a longer life and many live... Read More

The Different Breeds Of Dogs

The American Kennel Club recognizes 150 different dog breeds. There... Read More

Dogs & Kids: Happy Together

Dogs and kids, it's a combination that at it's best... Read More

New Puppies-The Cure For Insomnia-What You Can Do To Help You New Pupppy Adjust

Puppies have a natural instinct inside that causes them to... Read More

Is Your House Killing Your Dog?

You love your dog. You would do anything for your... Read More

Housetraining Tips for Your Dog or Puppy

Puppies need to go to the bathroom after they play,... Read More

Dog Training - How To Win Your Dogs Confidence

Settling a puppy into a new home successful is often... Read More

The Gifts We Give Our Dogs

Whoever coined the phrase, "It's a Dog's Life" wasn't familiar... Read More

Are Your Fish Sick?

Keeping a fish tank is a wonderful and relaxing hobby,... Read More

How To Choose A Professional Dog Trainer

1.) Versatility- A good dog trainer will use techniques and... Read More

Our Pets

Having a pet is an experiance that I think everyone... Read More

5 Things to Know about Animal Rescue Groups

Over the past decade, breed rescue groups have become a... Read More

Ten Tips for Cats Who are Forced to Relocate with Their Owners

For realistic tips for humans who are moving with cats,... Read More

7 Tips To Keep Your Pet Safe On Halloween

... Read More

Why Cats Flip For Catnip

If you've ever watched as a cat "flipped" over fresh... Read More

America; You Are Over Feeding Your Pets

As many of you know America is serious about our... Read More

GPS Pet Tracking

If you have a dog or cat that is an... Read More

The Dreaded Vet Visit: 5 Ways to Comfort Your Dog

Uh-oh, it's that time again. The dreaded vet visit, and... Read More

4 Ways In Which You Can Show Your Dog How Much You Love Him

Do you have at least one framed photo of your... Read More

Why Exotic Pets Should Not Be Banned

We all know how special interest groups can blow things... Read More

How To Stop Your Horse From Rearing And What To Do If He Does It Unexpectedly

There is a dangerous problem that horse owners should be... Read More

A New Nutritional Approach for Both Pet Allergies and Allergies to Pets

A New Understanding of AllergiesAllergies of all kinds seem to... Read More

Dog Training: Teaching Your Dog Self-Control

Is your dog one of those that pulls at his... Read More