Gain Confidence By Avoiding The Trap Past Experiences Can Give You In Life

One of the biggest potential problems we face with every action we take are our past experiences. In fact, as humans the only reference we have whenever we take some kind of action are our past experiences. There is nothing else we can go by for an indication of expected results.

I'm sure you can already see how this can affect your level of confidence?

If your past experiences were good, it will be a huge confidence builder for you. However, if your past experiences were unpleasant, you will have a huge lack of self confidence.

Unfortunately, this is total nonsense. Although humans need confirmation to feel safe and secure, which our past experiences can provide, they also eliminate the option of "the result may be different this time" which is one of the paralyzing elements many people face when they lack confidence.

They get stuck in that process of automatically falling back on past experiences and results and selling themselves on it, rather than becoming aware of the past but allowing other options into the equation.

You may have experienced this before. No matter how many times you confront a situation where you lack the confidence to take assertive action, you continually lock yourself into the mindset and body language of previous results, instead of really analyzing all the options available. This virtually guarantees the same result every time, because you convince yourself into believing this is your only chance, choice or option.

Don't let past experiences or results paralyze you, your views, actions or results. It only kills your self-confidence. You can open up possibilities that you never thought possible with a little alteration of your thinking pattern. Be resistant to your natural reactions. When you start to see yourself think, "Here we go again. I'm going to fail again", you need to interrupt your thoughts, take a step back or take a moment to think what other outcomes are possible and be optimistic as well as realistic with what you can achieve.

When I face this situation, I like to I use other people as inspiration. I say to myself, "If others can do it, so can I" (even when I have failed at this task before). This thought and belief process really works.

Example: Getting a birdie in golf (for you non-golfers, this means that you get the ball in the hole in one less stroke than is "suggested") Before we progress, I must confess, I only play about twice a year, so achieving this would be almost a miracle at the moment for me. But if I took the time to play more, take it seriously, maybe get some coaching etc, I'm sure I'd be able to achieve it at some point in time.

Now it's very unlikely I will achieve this in the first twenty attempts or so. But even though I "failed" to achieve or succeed in this goal, it doesn't mean I will never do it. With some positive thinking, feelings and attitude about getting a birdie one day, I can start gaining self-confidence and one day achieve the desired result.

In fact, if you stick with it long enough with the right positive surroundings (coach, thinking, feeling, confidence, attitude etc), success in anything is almost inevitable, including: getting a job, getting a promotion, picking up a girl/guy, getting a phone number, making conversations with a stranger, negotiating for a car, house (or anything for that matter), starting a business, becoming a professional athlete, movie star or musician, and the list is endless.

Just remember, that each time you try something, it's not your last chance. There is always a next time. So don't put too much emphasis or importance on the task you are trying to accomplish. Just because you can't do it now, doesn't mean you will never be able to. It's not the end of your confidence or the world.

When you feel the butterflies flying in your stomach, follow these steps:

  • Stop.
  • Take a step back from the situation.
  • Analyze why you are feeling a lack of confidence.
  • Find the positive sides of the situation.
  • Look for alternative views, thoughts and methods of getting the job done.
  • Take action.
  • Don't worry about the result. If it doesn't work out, you have next time to improve (repeat steps 1-7 again).
  • Confidently Yours,

    Rohan Cox

    Rohan Cox illustrates how anyone can improve their confidence by up to 237% in as little as 37 minutes with his Ebook, The Essential Steps For Total Confidence. Get your confidence tips now.

    In The News:

    This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

    QNotes

    Positive Living, Positive Attitude
    QNotes
    Through my work at RAIN, I have the wonderful privilege of knowing many friends and colleagues living with or affected by HIV. Recently, I had the chance to sit down and talk with several individuals about what that phrase “life positively” means to them.


    Forbes

    Why A Comfortable Workplace Promotes A Positive Attitude
    Forbes
    Kara hurried out of her office and slammed the car door in frustration as she sped out of the parking lot. Her boss gave her a bunch of papers to be signed by a new vendor they were using for a customer relations software package. As usual, when ...


    Navarre Press

    'Ms. B' brings music, positive attitude to the classroom
    Navarre Press
    Walking into “Ms. B's” classroom in Navarre High School, visitors are greeted not by the sounds of pencils on paper but of the melodious voices of her students and the chirps of a piano. Chorus instructor Caroline Buechner, or Ms. B as her students ...


    Newsbook (press release)

    Christian Journalists adopt a positive attitude towards the person
    Newsbook (press release)
    “As Christian journalists, you are distinguished for your positive attitude towards the person and for your professional ethic. You do not merely do a job, but rather you dedicate yourselves to a task and to a commitment,” Pope Francis said to a group ...

    and more »

    KXII-TV

    Your Saturday & Sunday Forecast ...
    KXII-TV
    New research shows people who put up lights before Thanksgiving had a more positive attitude throughout the busy holiday season. Today the weather will be perfect in the upper 60s. Sunday it will be too cold with Highs near 42 and Wind Chills in the ...


    Seeking a positive attitude for wellness
    Mercer Island Reporter
    His attitude and ability to cope endeared him to others. He had so many people wanting to visit with him that his caregiver had to set up a visiting schedule. Now he was no “Pollyanna.” He still had pain, needing daily treatment for his cellulites, but ...


    Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

    Thon Maker has stayed ready. Now the chance to prove himself has come.
    Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
    Maker was grinding hard, doing everything that was asked of him and keeping a positive attitude despite not getting many meaningful minutes, appearing in just six of the Bucks' first 14 games and playing more than 10 minutes only twice. “Just to be ready.

    and more »

    2010 Honolulu Marathon World Record Holder to Celebrate 100th Birthday
    KITV Honolulu
    She credits her positive attitude for giving her the strength to start running marathons. “It's important to think positive and to dream. Just get out there and walk or run,” she advises. Good advice for her five children, 18 grandchildren, and 34 ...


    Reuters

    Stephens benefits from positive attitude in WTA Finals debut
    Reuters
    SINGAPORE (Reuters) - Sloane Stephens was delighted to have started her debut WTA Finals tournament with a hard-fought 7-5 4-6 6-1 victory over Naomi Osaka on Monday, especially after the American dropped a tight second set when she had appeared ...

    and more »

    Herald Sun

    Teens with close friends and positive attitude avoid being or becoming a bully, new study finds
    Herald Sun
    An Australian survey of more than 3000 girls and boys shows the odds of being bullied is halved for those with strong friendships and positive attitudes and the odds of being a bully is reduced by 60 per cent. Similarly, those whose friends engage in ...

    Google News

    Letter of Hope from Hospital Patient

    Hospital patient undergoing surgery recounts how Hero Soul provided strength,... Read More

    Anger - The Truth Beneath

    The other day one of my "challenging clients" and I... Read More

    Increasing Expectation Positively!

    At your next staff meeting lead your team through the... Read More

    Questions and Affirmations - The Art (and Science) Of Talking To Yourself

    I Hear Voices?This is not a statement of paranormal; it... Read More

    The Art of Jiu-Jitsu

    Using an opponent's force against them is the fundamental teaching... Read More

    Positioned For Success - The Refined Art Of Taking A Chance

    ARE YOU IN... OR OUT?Are you in or out of... Read More

    Accepting Rejected Thoughts

    Sometimes we are in a position to look into the... Read More

    Enlarge Your Vision

    Millions struggle through life barely earning enough to survive. Many... Read More

    Five Ways to Be More Encouraging

    We all need encouragement. Even the most callous, hard headed... Read More

    Balanced Living: 18 Steps

    A balanced life not only leaves you feeling more fulfilled;... Read More

    Mindfulness: Youre Soaking In It!

    Looking for a bit more mindfulness in your daily life?... Read More

    Discover The 8 Steps To A Mountain Moving Faith

    " If you have faith as a grain of musterd... Read More

    Deep Doghouse Communication for Angry Men

    Many times when an angry or rageful man comes into... Read More

    Free Tips To Increase Self-Esteem

    I have had many confidence issues in my life, all... Read More

    Your Frame of Mind May Determine Your Health

    The mind absolutely amazes me. It will never be understood,... Read More

    Positive Changes Achieved by Exercising Mind, Body & Spirit

    My story explains the struggles I had as a 23-year-old... Read More

    Dump Those Negative Tapes

    Every time something doesn't go quite right (rather frequently for... Read More

    Top Tips for the Temporary Move

    Question: "It's only three months. Or six months. Or a... Read More

    A Solution For Trouble? Try This Breath Of Fresh Air!

    I just heard the story of a man who hired... Read More

    Heres Your Calm During The Storm Of Discouragement

    Have you ever known someone like this? "A person who... Read More

    Universal Thought Systems #4

    Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System... Read More

    Dispell Anger in 2 Simple Steps

    "It really works!" "Well, I'll be?!"BJ like so many others... Read More

    Universal Thought Systems/Forgiveness

    Philosophy of Forgiveness:The most powerful tool that human beings possess... Read More

    10 Tips for Practicing Positive Thinking as a Tool for Managing ADD

    At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and... Read More

    My Sunshine

    "You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine You Make Me... Read More