Mastering Your Moods: How To Take Charge Of Your Feelings

John Ryder awakens feeling rested, refreshed, and sensing a calm vibrancy surging all through him. Hopping eagerly out of bed, he showers, dresses, and with a gleam and sparkle in his eye, goes downstairs to his kitchen and puts on some coffee.

Still feeling a wonderful composure flowing through him, he goes outside to retrieve the morning paper. And, as he has his breakfast, he begins to peruse the front page.

The recession is continuing, unemployment rates keep climbing, American job security reaching all time instability highs. He begins to feel tense, and agitated. "Why the hell does President Bush constantly send all those billions in aid to foreign countries when we need it right here!"

His morning calm now begins to shift to feelings of aggravation and discontent. And, as he exits his home to drive to work, he feels the bitterness begin to dissipate. His easy, morning calm seems to be reestablishing.

As he drives to work, he's cut off by a large cargo van. "Hey, you idiot, why don't you watch where you're going!" Now, feeling tense once again - almost vengeful - he's driving aggressively, trying to catch up to the "moron" to tell him off. But, traffic conditions won't allow for it.

Arriving at work, he's still sort of emotionally jumbled from his commute. "Well, what the hell, I've gotta get started now," he thinks with a sense of rushed anticipation.

At his desk he sees a large post-it note stuck to his phone. "John, see me right away -- before you do anything today! G.P." "Oh crap," he says. "What does my district manager want with me personally?" He now feels anxious and doubtful as he walks into G.P.'s office. And 40 minutes later he emerges; the anxious, nervous feeling he experienced before he went in is now replaced with sensations of frustration and resentment at having just been sucked into an assignment that should have been given to three individuals to share. "Man," he exhorts with futile dismay, "they keep lumping more and more on my back. I'm only one guy...what's going on here?"

His intense mental/emotional pre-occupation with his new task workload makes him late for his 3:30 appointment with marketing. As he enters the conference room, he feels as if the others see him as a flake, a "screw-up," and irresponsible. "I had to complete some important calls," he says. And after his meeting, the cold shoulder treatment he receives makes him feel as if he's unliked, poorly thought of, and an outcast.

"Ah well," he muses, "looks like it's another one of those days."

Leaving work and feeling relieved, he drives to his health club only to find the lot jammed, and cars lined up almost to the street, striving to grab the first available space. "Oh no, not again; DAMN IT!!"

Finally inside and changed, he now finds he must rush through his workout so he can shower, change, and pick up Karen for his dinner date. "RUSH, RUSH, RUSH, RUSH, why can't it ever get easier?" And, as he finally picks up Karen, instead of feeling the loving warmth he wanted to, he feels a lingering, anxious, frustrated anger which has been taking him up and down, and up and down all day.

"Hi, honey," Karen says to him with an endearing smile. "How was your day?" Almost on fire, he projects a futile, almost dejected glare and says, "Are you just saying that to be nice, or do you really want to know?"


I'm sure as you read through John's scenario, you could also relate to the emotional roller coaster he experienced throughout his day. Transcending from the soothing calm of awakening, to the angry frustration of being oppressed, put upon, and forced to wait (and all the feelings in between), it's as if your emotional state is constantly played havoc with by everything that goes on around you. Happy/ depressed, calm/tense, relaxed/angered, content/frustrated -- the cycle seemingly goes on day in and day out. "Well, I'm sick of this emotional roller coaster, these continual mood swings, but I feel like a victim of my environment. It's like I can't control it, so what can I do to stop this damn fluctuation?"

So common is the preceding concern that many of my clients have asked me to devise a strategy they could implement to stop the constant ups and downs (and the debilitating energy drain it incites). Feeling an emotional slave to their environment, they wanted a way to sustain a "middle of the road" feeling and mood style, instead of regularly riding the emotional roller coaster. Not too high, not too low, but middle of the road stable. "Pete, what can I do?" they'd plead.


Structuring The Framework Of Regular Stable Control

Whether my clients were athletes, business people, students, salespeople, managers, professionals, etc., everyone voiced this frustration with mood swing concerns. The strategy I developed for them moves away from trying to change or control what's experienced/going on outside of you. It deals strictly with establishing an appropriate, desired mood at the start of your day, and then re- activating/reinforcing it whenever you sense an unresourceful feeling shift, or your emotions fluctuating in an uncomfortable, negative direction.

Through this repeated positive emotional reinforcement (directly in the face of negative mood swings), you come to condition a continuance of enriching feeling to fuel your efforts throughout your day!

This process has worked magnificently for my clients, and now you can use it to eliminate the "roller coaster" and enjoy emotional stability. I encourage you to read through this entire mood swing restructuring process first, then apply it exactly as outlined.


Structuring The Propensity For Positive Feeling Consistency

A.) Establishing Your Target State: Upon awakening in the morning, before you get out of bed, establish the specific feeling context you sense will most directly encourage the type of inner state and behavioral expression you'd continually desire -- the feeling context which would naturally promote actions leading to effectiveness, efficiency, and task performance excellence.

Mentally explore several options here to establish the explicit feeling you sense would most demonstrably serve and enrich you. For example, you might consider:

? Confidence

? Enthusiasm

? Absolute faith

? Excitement

? Success compulsion

? Fierce determination

? Triumph commitment

? Positive expectancy

? Tenacious drive to excel and demonstrate excellence

? Take charge action toughness

? Relaxed composure

? Personal power

? Joyfulness, etc.

To help establish the singular feeling most appropriate/beneficial for you, first think of 4-6 things you'll have to do/situations you'll have to engage during your day. Then, considering the preceding type feeling states - and the things you'll be doing during your day - ask yourself, "If I feel X in this situation, what will be the consequences?"

Consider several different feelings here (such as those listed), and you'll come to isolate the exact feeling which will continually serve you best! (Here, you might want to imaginatively play out mini-scenarios of yourself engaging each of the things/situations you'll have to do fueled by various different types of feelings. Through this process, you'll quickly, easily identify the specific feeling state most appropriate for you!)

B.) Anchoring Your Target State: Once you've decided upon the specific desired feeling you sense most appropriate for you, then close your eyelids down, and recall the very last time you either reflected, generated, or embodied that explicit feeling.

A specific memory will quickly emerge, and when it does, then:

1. Make the picture brighter, clearer, and vividly distinct.

2. Perceptually bring it closer and closer to you - so close it's as if it's right

in front of you, as if it's totally real, and your reality right then and there!

3. Then, imaginatively step into the picture, and into your body. And,

looking through your eyes and feeling through your heart:

? See exactly what you see as the embodiment of this specific feeling

? F-e-e-l exactly what you feel as the embodiment of this specific feeling

? Think exactly what you think as the embodiment of this specific feeling

? Project the exact same facial expression you do as the embodiment

of this specific feeling

? Physically sense exactly what you do in every part of your body as

the embodiment of this specific feeling

? Breathe exactly the way you breathe as the embodiment of this

specific feeling

Next, as you're breathing and reflecting all the preceding factors connected with you being fueled by your target state, firmly pinch your right thumb and middle finger together. Then (holding your fingers firmly pinched), choose a word which to you embodies this explicit feeling state. For example, you might choose Force, Strength, Power, Yes, Mine, etc.

Keeping your right thumb and middle finger firmly pinched, mentally exclaim your key word (feeling its meaning resonate within you) 5 consecutive times. Then, hold your fingers pinched for 15 more seconds, continuing to see, think, feel, physically sense, and breathe in the specific manner connected with your target feeling state.

Then, very s-l-o-w-l-y unpinch your fingers, and allow yourself to grow progressively more relaxed with every breath you take.

You've now structured a feeling activation anchor whereby firmly pinching your right thumb and middle finger, breathing as the embodiment of your target feeling state, and mentally exclaiming your key word activates the specific sensory framework inducing your desired feeling context!

C.) Testing Your Target Feeling Anchor: After you take 6-8 relax breaths as specified above, next, to become aware of just how powerful and deeply rooted your capacity to incite your desired state is:

1.) Pinch your right thumb and middle finger together firmly.

2.) Breathe as your target state breathes.

3.) Mentally exclaim your key word 3 consecutive times.

You'll instantly experience your specific target feeling state unfold, and notably surge through you. Hold this post test anchor (keeping your fingers firmly pinched) for 10 more seconds here. Then again, s-l-o-w-l-y release your finger pinch, and focus on your "relax breath" breathing.

[*This entire anchoring process should take 5-7 minutes to perform. Each time you perform it, you'll become more efficient in producing demonstrable emotional results.]

D.) Applying Your Target Feeling Anchor To Eliminate Destructive Mood Swings: Now you're prepared to stop the "roller coaster" and enjoy an experience of greater emotional consistency throughout your day. Here's how to use your target anchor:

AS SOON AS you experience your mood start to negatively, unresourcefully swing/shift, immediately fire your target anchor (pinch your right thumb and middle finger together firmly, breathe as you do as the embodiment of your target state, and mentally exclaim your key word 3 consecutive times). Then hold your fingers pinched, and imaginatively project a scenario of yourself competently, effectively dealing with the situation (you're facing) fueled totally by your target state. (Hold this finger pinch/mental effectiveness projection for 5-7 seconds. You can close your eyelids down to help here, of course only if appropriate, i.e. not while driving or engaging an activity demanding your full attention!)

Then, when you sense you're emotionally back on track, s-l-o-w-l-y unpinch your fingers, inhale deeply, and confidently proceed on.

What you are literally doing here is re-conditioning tendencies toward emotional fluctuation with tendencies toward emotional stability. You are directing your feelings and structuring different stimulus/response connections in areas you'd have allowed the "roller coaster" to just run its course!

The key here is as soon as you may experience your emotional state shift - for whatever reason - instantly employ your feeling regulation anchor-and keep yourself fueled, and sustained, by your enriching, resourceful feeling context.

The more you implement this strategy, the more spontaneous, natural, and effective it becomes in moving you to generate and sustain positive emotional consistency. (I encourage you to engage this process each and every day until you're experiencing a continual degree of emotional smoothness throughout your day!)

You can and should use this process in every facet of your life where you may experience the "roller coaster" starting to roll. For example:

? In relationships

? In business

? Dealing with family

? On the telephone

? On the job

? In the gym

? Watching TV news

? Reading the newspaper

Take initiative to keep yourself positively emotionally consistent, and you'll forever end those uncomfortable roller coaster rides!


You've now got a powerful method to foster emotional consistency throughout your day. You must use this process for it to enrich you. But very shortly, you'll experience the rewards of feeling regularly positive which accompanying feeling as you truly want to -- all the time.

Remember, from now on, when your mood may begin to shift, turn on and sustain positive power; you'll glide through your day easily and smoothly, and you'll just leave the roller coaster to rust and wither!

Pete Siegel is America's foremost peak performance hypnotherapist. A national profile clinician and author, you can review and purchase his acclaimed confidence building and personal development programs at

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Superstition Meadery - Production Manager - Beverage Industry Job Listing  BevNET.comProduction Manager Superstition Meadery. Salary - Depends on Experience. Job description: Superstition Meadery is searching for an outstanding individual to ...
Can someone please pass Peter Beattie a glass of 'shut the hell up?'  The AgeARLC chairman Peter Beattie's grandstanding over Jack de Belin has been painful to watch. Brett Stewart should be a reminder of the complexities at play.
Parkinson's patient uses power of positive thinking to inspire others  KTIVSIOUX CITY (KTIV) – Those in Siouxland living with Parkinson's Disease and their caretakers learned new skills Friday to help battle the degenerative disease.
Chris Janson Celebrates Positivity With New Single, 'Good Vibes'  The BootChris Janson says that he wrote his newest single, "Good Vibes," to spread a message of positivity. "No matter what times we're living in, we're always gonna ...

Lets Get to the Bottom of Low Self-Esteem

If you suffer from low self-esteem, it's because you don't... Read More

Positive Thinking: Polyanna Syndrome

Why do we have such a downer on Pollyanna? After... Read More

Using Power Affirmations on ePosters

I believe that one of the best ways to stay... Read More

I Know I Can, I Know I Can

I'm sure most of you remember the children's book about... Read More

Combat Your Bad Days

No matter how positive a person we are overall, there... Read More

Never Run Out of Altitude, Airspeed, and Ideas at the Same Time: Lessons From the Vietnam POWs

Bosses can't control many things at work. In fact, they... Read More

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life - Books to Help You Find the PMA Inside You

Many of the books on this page were inspired by... Read More

You May Not Be Able to Manage Change - But You Can Manage Your Response to It

Your response (reaction?) to change is conditioned by your entire... Read More

Top Three Secrets To Becoming A Better Thinker

We all know there are ways to become a better... Read More

Managing Your OCD, Panic Attacks, and Obsessive Thoughts

There are times that we encounter fearful thoughts that can... Read More

Improve Your Self Confidence

Knowing yourself is the foundation of self-esteem, self confidence and... Read More

10 Passion Principles to Creating the Rest of Your Life

1. Take passionate action towards living your life by design.... Read More

Does Life Really Stink?

One of my class fellows was really tensed, when asked... Read More

Not A Negative Thought!

Turn negative thoughts into positive ones.Negative thoughts can be very... Read More

So What Is A Limiting Belief?

So what is a limiting belief?Don't you love the current... Read More

Success Through The Way You Think About Yourself

If you think you are a loser, you train or... Read More

Use Your Imagination to Create the Self You Want

"Every prayer - every thought, every statement, every feeling -is... Read More

Knowing the Power of Positive Thinking

In the self-help and wellness industry, a mission has been... Read More

Managing Life Changes the Tetris Way (or How to Let the Blocks Fall with Skill and Grace)

Are you undergoing a major life change? Or merely trying... Read More

Dealing with Criticism and Rejection

Whether it's the other kids making fun of you at... Read More

Theres No Negative In My Program - Part 1

Imagine the what you could achieve if:You were 100 %... Read More

Learning To Embrace Change

The only constant is change. If theres one thing we... Read More

Optimism, the Only Option for Success

People with negative attitudes may wonder why they never achieve... Read More

Being Assertive

Many people find it extremely difficult to be assertive, whether... Read More

Developing Self-Esteem

It would be pretty hard to become successful without first... Read More