Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
35 Surefire Ways to Kill a Meeting > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

35 Surefire Ways to Kill a Meeting

1. Play "find the meeting" by changing the location and time of your meeting at the last minute.

2. Don't bother to book your meeting room in advance. Lead the group from room to room trying to find another place to meet.

3. Bring 5 handouts for 20 attendees.

4. Leave and say, "I'll be back. I'm going to make handouts."

5. Don't use an agenda because "everybody knows why we are here."

6. Keep an attitude that "meetings are not work."

"Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything. "


- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - )

7. Say "I don't need a microphone" and proceed to yell for the entire meeting or talk too softly for the back of the room to hear.

8. Combine two unrelated meetings into one big meeting, ensuring that half the group will not care about half of the meeting.

"Soufflé is more important than you think. If men ate soufflé before meetings, life could be much different."


Jacques Baeyens, French consul general in NYC

9. Don't serve food during a lunchtime meeting.

10. Play "find a chair" at the beginning of the meeting due to inadequate seating.

11. Allow people to bring active pagers and cell phones and stop the meeting when one goes off.

12. Use visual aids no one can see without binoculars.

13. When you are finished, keep going just because the meeting was scheduled to take longer.

14. Invite Bozo the Facilitator to conduct your meeting.

15. Spend time trying to remember what happened at the last meeting.

16. Spend time arguing about what happened at the last meeting.

17. Refuse to take "off-line" conversations off line.

18. Fail to take minutes and follow up after the meeting.

19. Disband without summarizing the meeting.

20. Start over each time a latecomer arrives.

21. Speak in "alphabet soup" and other jargon most people don't understand.

22. Announce that someone will be joining by conference call and take everyone's time while you set up the equipment.

23. Start with an apology like "sorry to get started late" or "I know you can't read this, but?"

24. Fail to agree on the purpose of the meeting.

25. Go over the allotted time.

26. Volunteer absentee team members and forget to tell them about their assignments.

"A motion to adjourn is always in order. "


- Robert A. Heinlein

27. Schedule a long meeting. Anything over 90 minutes is too long for most meetings.

"On average, a project manager spends 8 years of his or her lifetime in meetings. "


- Vijay Verma

28. Invite the wrong people to the meeting.

29. Fail to invite people who should attend the meeting.

30. Allow "monopolizers" to ruin the meeting.

31. Speak to impress rather than express. Use words like "utilize" when you mean "use" and "enhance" when you mean "improve".

32. Come unprepared. Fail to plan for a successful meeting.

33. Read agenda and handouts word for word to the participants.

34. Keep participants in the dark about their roles in the meeting.

35. Keep doing what you've always done even though you know you've had "defective meetings" in the past.

Please email your favorite "meeting killers" to john@thegravittgroup.com.

About The Author

This originally appeared in John Gravitt's "Tools, Tips, and Toys" available at http://thegravittgroup.com; john@thegravittgroup.com

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

Harvard Business Review

How to Pump Yourself Up Before a Presentation (or Calm Yourself Down)
Harvard Business Review
Public speaking affects people in different ways. Some people get jittery and anxious before they talk; they need to spend time calming themselves down before they go onstage. Other people want to make sure they have extra energy when they're in front ...


News 12 Connecticut

Fairfield presentation anticipates rising sea levels, climate change
News 12 Connecticut
Fairfield community members gathered to discuss the impacts of climate change Wednesday. The public got a look at a presentation by the Connecticut Sea Grant about how to best adapt as a community to climate change. The presentation was given at ...

and more »

Reuters

Fiat Chrysler CEO could miss second quarter presentation: media
Reuters
MILAN (Reuters) - Fiat Chrysler CEO Sergio Marchionne, who is recovering from a shoulder operation, may not be present to discuss the company's second-quarter earnings with analysts on July 25, Italian website Lettera43 said, without attributing the ...

and more »

Haaretz

Palestinians Protest US Visa Denial to Experts Headed for UN Presentation
Haaretz
Mansour said he started the presentation by "condemning the fact that they were denied visas, and the work of our delegation was obstructed in violation of the headquarters agreement." The high-level meeting is hearing what nearly 50 countries are ...
Palestine delegation presents critical UN poverty report, despite US, Israel restrictionsThe New Arab

all 102 news articles »

South Middleton supervisors to hear casino presentation July 26
Carlisle Sentinel
Representatives from Greenwood Gaming will make a public presentation about locating a mini-casino in South Middleton Township, during a township supervisors meeting Thursday, July 26. Township Manager Cory Adams said the purpose of their ...


Business Insider Australia

3 presentation hacks that will improve audience engagement
Business Insider Australia
Research suggests that the average professional spends 14 hours per week creating, delivering and attending presentations – many of which are vastly unproductive and amount to very little, if anything at all. For a small team of 15 people that equates ...


WCJB

UF IFAS held hurricane prep and recovery presentation in Dunnellon
WCJB
People who attended the presentation received tips such as taking pictures of your property, protecting important documents before the storm, and having at least a 3-day supply of non-perishable food. "Having gone through hurricanes Andrew plus three ...


Forbes

The 7 Best Presentation Software Tools For Entrepreneurs
Forbes
Having great ideas, knowing the facts you want to convey and presenting a pitch deck so successfully that you get funded can be very different things. Regardless of the stage of your company, a lot of your success is riding on a few slides. This is ...


Daily Journal Online

Chamber hears presentation on district curriculum
Daily Journal Online
During the Park Hills-Leadington Chamber of Commerce meeting on Tuesday, chamber investors were given an update on matters of curriculum in the Central School District from Curriculum Director Lori England. After introducing herself and describing the ...


Gizmodo

Turtle Researcher's Award Rescinded After He Uses Racy Photos of ...
New York Times
A herpetologist was being honored for his scientific achievements. The award was swiftly rescinded when he showed revealing photos of women in swimsuits.
Scientist Loses Distinguished Award After Acceptance Presentation ...Gizmodo

all 6 news articles »
Google News

Tough Talk: Bad News Delivered the Right Way

Communicating Bad News The Right WayIt's the rare executive who... Read More

Cross Cultural Presentations

The international flavour of many people's jobs naturally means that... Read More

The Upside to an Auditory Rehearsal

Many experienced trainers feel that there is something lacking in... Read More

Dump that Overhead Projector!

What is it about overhead projectors that causes us to... Read More

Qualities of Good Communication

Webster's Dictionary defines communication as "a giving or exchanging of... Read More

Choosing a Presentation Remote Control

If you deliver electronic presentations using PowerPoint or other programs,... Read More

Too Many Choices - Dont Confuse Your Customers

Conventional wisdom is that the more choices customers have, the... Read More

Conducting Successful Training Activities

Whether you are training preschoolers in the classroom or executives... Read More

Secrets of Successful Presentations

Does the thought of speaking in front of others send... Read More

Sharpening Your Presentation Skills

Regardless of the nature of our job or social standing,... Read More

Problems with the Lecture Format

ALTERNATIVES TO THE LECTURE FORMAT: How often do you use... Read More

Winning The Big Pitch - The 7 Deadly Sins Of Business Presentations And How To Avoid Them!

Are poor presentations costing you business?The ability to deliver a... Read More

Coaching Tips for Powerful Presentations

Tip #1 The purpose of your speech is to get... Read More

How to Make Good Use of Your Web Conference Session

Preperation is vital when conducting a successful videoconference session. Thus... Read More

Tips to Temper Speaking Anxiety

People take it for granted that leaders have achieved some... Read More

Move Key Audiences to Actions You Want

How?Try a blueprint like this: people act on their own... Read More

Rise Above Cattiness

Cattiness is something no one ever wants to be accused... Read More

Steps to a Successful Audience/Trainer Relationship

A major cause of trainers being unreceptive to their audience... Read More

Why You Need a Lesson Plan

LESSON PLAN DEVELOPMENT: Lesson plans, believe it or not, are... Read More

Create A Better Impresion With Your Emails

How do you come across in your emails?As I receive... Read More

The Presentation After the Presentation

Allowing the audience to ask questions after your presentation is... Read More

Business Presentations - Use Power Pitching - Get the Personal Edge

Whenever and whatever you're pitching, dozens of factors will figure... Read More

Tech Tips: PowerPoint Keyboard Shortcuts for PowerPoint Slide Shows

Whether you use a mouse or a remote control to... Read More

How to Attract New Business Like George W. Bush Wins Elections

THE LITTLE-KNOWN SPEECHWRITING SECRETS THAT WON GEORGE W. BUSH THE... Read More

Ancient PowerPoint Secrets: Ask Your Grandma!

Yes, there are ancient PowerPoint secrets...secrets your grandmother knows and... Read More