Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
Women and Bad Boys: What Is The Attraction? > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

Women and Bad Boys: What Is The Attraction?

"Bad Boys".

If you're a woman, you may be saying "hmmm" as you hear these words. You know you shouldn't, but you just can't help yourself.

There is just SOMETHING about these guys that draws you in, even as your head tells you to "beware"!

So, what exactly is the attraction? It's not necessarily that they are more physically attractive or smarter or more successful than the "nice guys". In fact, they can have fewer of these qualities, yet be harder to resist.

So what is it? Let's begin by defining these guys. This term is generally applied to males who treat women poorly. Do these behaviors ring a bell?

*calling at 8:30 on a Saturday night to ask if you want to get together

*not showing up for a date- followed by no phone call or apology

*never having any money when you are out

* forgetting or ignoring your birthday and other important dates

*flirting openly with other women when you are together

*hitting on your good friend(s)

*making booty calls at 1am, after they've had a night out with others

*is doing time for a serious felony

Instead of asking "what is it about these guys"; let's instead examine what it is about the women who can't resist them. The following are actual statements from women who have a history of attraction to these guys. See if any of these sound familiar.

* "It's never BORING with him. He's unpredictable and exciting."

* "He's strong, aggressive and self-assured; I feel safe with him."

* "It's not his fault; he's trying to get his life together."

* "I haven't met anyone else that makes me feel the way he does."

* "He's so charming and passionate."

* "He tells me how much he likes me, so he must really feel something for me."

* "He needs me."

* "He doesn't come across as needy and desperate."

* "I can't believe I've attracted someone like him."

Now, on the face of these, they seem pretty benign. We all seek at least some of these traits in the men we choose. So, where's the problem?

Essentially it's in his inability to meet the woman's fundamental needs. She is the one doing all (or most) of the giving. The question then lies in; "what's in it for her?"

The answer can be found by exploring three basic issues:

*level of self-esteem

*capacity for intimacy

*roles that she has been in throughout her life

If a woman feels good about herself, she chooses a mate who communicates both verbally and non-verbally to her that she is valued and respected. She won't allow this other person to undermine her positive self-worth. She believes in her ability to participate in a healthy, reciprocal relationship.

If she doesn't feel good about herself, she chooses someone who reinforces her negative self-beliefs.

If a woman is capable of true intimacy, she is open to the true availability of the other person. She wants him to be a full and active participant in the relationship. She can allow herself to be open, vulnerable and able to take as well as to receive all that true intimacy offers.

If intimacy is difficult, she choose someone who is distant, hard to connect with and not emotionally and/or physically available.

If a woman has had a healthy role in her relationships since childhood, she will choose someone with whom she can continue this healthy interaction.

If a woman has been too long in the role of rescuer, caregiver or the one who sacrifices for the good of others, this will probably be the role she will seek out in her relationships.

Fortunately, most women fall somewhere in between on these issues. So the task is to evaluate yourself in each area and decide on a course of action that will help you to choose a "nice guy", who stirs your senses and meets your needs while being truly available for a real relationship.

Begin with an assessment of what you value most in life and cannot live without.

Go to http://www.consum-mate.com/newslets/02oct.htm for an article on "clarifying and living your values".

Once you know what is most important to you and believe that you are worthy of achieving it, you will have taken a giant step towards finding the right partner for you.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. As a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating tips and relationship advice in response to listener feedback. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer singles the knowledge and tools they need to find and sustain healthy, lasting love relationships. She is a member of The International Coach Federation, and The International Association Of Coaches.

In The News:


Hamilton Journal News

Middletown escape room attraction closing — for now - Journal-News
Hamilton Journal News
Room Xscape's initial run in downtown Middletown for the Halloween season could end up making the season attraction a permanent one.

and more »

WPSD Local 6

Halloween attraction raises food for hungry families
WPSD Local 6
CLINTON, KENTUCKY – Ronnie and Regine Cruse welcome you and your family to take a walk through their front yard in Clinton, Kentucky. They add more monsters, skeletons and tombstones each year. There is no cost; however, they are asking for food ...


Glamour

How 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend' Is Going to Blow Up the 'Fatal Attraction ...
Glamour
'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend' creators Rachel Bloom and Aline Brosh McKenna want to change the conversation about romantic obsession and mental health.

and more »

Stuff.co.nz

Samoa's natural attraction
Stuff.co.nz
Hidden waterfalls, sea trenches and sliding rocks are the perfect pit stops in between checking out the incredible natural attractions Samoa offers. PAPASE'EA SLIDING ROCKS "Do as the locals do" is somewhat of a mantra when you're in a new country.


LA Magazine

Here's Everything We Know So Far about Disneyland's New Star Wars Attraction
LA Magazine
At 14 acres, Galaxy's Edge will be even bigger than Fantasyland, but whereas Fantasyland holds 13 attractions, this new land will have just two massive ones (Star Tours will remain in Tomorrowland); as with Universal's Wizarding World of Harry Potter ...


Youngstown news, North Side's newest attraction drawing from as ...
Youngstown Vindicator
City and Youngstown State University organizations marked the opening of a nine-hole disc golf course at Wick Park, 260 Park Ave., with a launch party Friday.

and more »

The Mercury News

Glenn Close regrets how 'Fatal Attraction' portrayed mental illness
The Mercury News
And while Close mostly likes “Fatal Attraction” and appreciates the opportunities it brought her in Hollywood and on Broadway, she has long regretted the way her character ultimately came across and what the movie said, or didn't say, about mental illness.


Westword

"Fatal Attraction" Killer Jennifer Reali Hopes Fourth Time Is the Charm
Westword
Jennifer Reali, nicknamed the "Fatal Attraction" killer after slaying her lover's wife, has been denied parole three times over the past six years. She's now made her fourth appeal, reportedly arguing that "I can't honor my victim's death by being a ...


Midland Daily News

Escape from zombies part of local haunted attraction
Midland Daily News
This year, local business Code Breakers Escape and Puzzle Rooms has brought a new haunted attraction to the area that serves as both an escape course and a scary, thrill-seeking adventure called Zombie escape fear fest. This isn't just an average ...


Skift

Taj Mahal Downgraded as Tourism Attraction by India's Hindu Nationalist Leaders
Skift
The brochure listed Hindu pilgrimage destinations such as Gorakhnath Temple in Gorakhpur, which Adityanath heads, and also included plans for new attractions such as a tour of locations related to the Hindu mythological text Ramayana. Emperor Shah ...

and more »
Google News

Living Life to the Full: 20 Steps

1. Emotion: We are emotional creatures and as in all... Read More

Create Your Own Luck

I find it particularly disheartening when I hear someone refer... Read More

Five Ways To Create On Purpose By Living In The Moment

What can you do to really immerse yourself into living... Read More

Body Language Counts!

Why communication through body language and appropriate language are crucial... Read More

A Mini LOA T-ToolTM

The Law of Attraction T-ToolTM is the single most useful... Read More

5 Simple Ways To Overcome Shyness

Shyness is nothing to be ashamed of and you can... Read More

You Teach People How to Treat You

So often we hear people ask the question, "Why does... Read More

Its All Up to You (Nobody is Coming to Save You!)

As painful as this realization may be, it is absolutely... Read More

Opportunity Knocks 1000 Times

You've heard people say that opportunity only knocks once. I... Read More

Avoid a Life of Regrets With Your Yes List

How many times have you told yourself "yes!" today? Not... Read More

The Power Of Charisma

You have seen them on television your entire life: the... Read More

To Be A Cut Above The Rest!

Mannerisms and personality traits go a long way in making... Read More

Dont Let Other Peoples Walls Fence You In

"How's it going?" I asked the clerk in the new... Read More

Business Intuition: Using the HeartMind

Many scientific studies have demonstrated the reality of intuition for... Read More

On St. Valentines Day, Or Any Romantic Interlude, Woo Your Sweetheart With Chocolates, Roses...

On Valentine's Day, or any romantic interlude, lovers should woo... Read More

Affirmations Based on Rich Dad, Poor Dad

I'm sure most of you have heard of, and perhaps... Read More

How to Make Self-Improvement Work Every Time!

There is an inherent problem with the approach most people... Read More

How to Get that It Factor Happening

Sitting here today in sunny Queensland Australia, I'm reflecting on... Read More

How to Be Irresistible to Women

You don't need a guitar, rock-hard abs, or even a... Read More

Reminiscing About Your Past Can Stimulate Your Future

Have you ever thought much about how some of your... Read More

Searching for Higher Ground: 24 Hours to a Better Life

There's a moment in one of my favorite films, Searching... Read More

How to Escape Out of Thought Traps?

Have you ever been really sure about something, only to... Read More

The Power of Desire - Part 1

What is Desire? Let us see! Webster tells us that... Read More

Affirmations - Anxiety & Panic

Using affirmations can be a very powerful tool. You can... Read More

How to Play to Your Strengths

Are you clear on your unique qualities, talents and personal... Read More