The Metrosexual Male vs. The Cowboy - What Do Women Want?

He always looks perfectly put together. He can be in a t-shirt and jeans or heading out to a black-tie event. His hair never has a bad day. His nails are clean and buffed. His clothes are perfectly pressed and exquisitely coordinated. He smells like flowers and spice. Is he gay? No, he's the new metrosexual man.

As many of you know by now, the term "metrosexual" was coined by a journalist (and gay man) named Mark Simpson, to describe a new kind of urban male who is straight, but in touch with his feminine side and not afraid to show it. Essentially, metrosexuals are guys who take on behaviors and show an interest in things that have traditionally belonged in the female domain.

You may have a metrosexual brother, male friend or boyfriend (ex). These are the guys you can shop till you drop with. They can discuss fashion, will notice your great new shoes, buy their grooming products from the same places you do and have no qualms about having a manicure, pedicure or facial. You can actually TALK to these guys about something other than sports, cars and other traditionally male interests. These are the guys you can take to the opera, symphony and ballet. The perfect man, right? Depends on whom you talk to.

Let's step back a minute and look at the where and how of the existence of the metrosexual man. Simply put, he is a by-product of feminism and the changing roles and related expectations of women. As women have moved into (previously) male dominated environments and roles, it has caused a shift in the male-female balance. Women are now active participants in industry, politics and the professions- to name a few. However, as they have left their old jobs as homemakers and full-time domestic caregivers, they left a lot of empty space to be filled. Childcare providers and the domestic cleaning industry could provide some of this. The problem was all the "other" stuff women had always done.

Men were therefore called upon to contribute more to the raising of children, housework, cooking, shopping, etc. Their sons were being exposed a new role model, a dad who took on jobs and chores that had traditionally belonged to mom. Young boys themselves were also being tapped to do housework and help with siblings, exposing them to a new way of being a male in our society. Women had become more independent and financially and professionally successful. Men had become more domestic and had to soften their style as they moved into more traditionally feminine roles.

A new social order had evolved that worked for everyone, right? Not necessarily. We never take on something new without giving something up. So, what has been discarded? Clearly defined social roles and the expectations that come with them- for starters. Suddenly there was a new blueprint for how men and women should relate- especially in the world of dating. However, it was unclear and depending upon whom you asked, you would get a different answer. Usher in the confusion and frustration surrounding dating in the new millennium.

Women ask questions such as:

* who asks who out
* who calls who
* who pays
* who makes decisions about where to go, etc.
* What are the expectations at the end of the date
* how soon should we become intimate

Women comment on:

* his lack of initiative in calling or asking her out
* his expectation that they will go dutch
* how he never offers to pick her up
* his overall lack of assertiveness
* his saying he will call, but not following through
* his too polished style which lacks a certain spark of masculinity
* his taking longer to get ready than she does
* his crudeness or over aggressive style
* his expectation that they will have sex

Men ask questions such as:

* what do women want
* why should a guy have to ask a girl out
* why should the guy always pay
* why do women say they want sensitivity, etc., but see guys like that as wimps
* why do women give out such mixed signals in general
* why do women seem to reject nice guys and go for jerks
* why can't a woman be the aggressor

Men comment on:

* women acting spoiled
* women wanting their independence, etc. but not wanting equal responsibility and weight
* women expecting a lot from men, but offering little in return
* women not knowing what they want
* women playing games
* women's attraction to "bad boys"

Both women and men verbalize that they are ok with the current roles that have evolved for them in our society, yet I hear both talk wistfully about how it was in previous generations. Back then; everyone KNEW what was expected from him or her. Life was predictable. Dating was much simpler and "safer". Men were men and women were raised to be wives and homemakers. We have gained something and we have lost something. One thing for sure, we can never have it both ways.

What's the answer? It is never simple. However, it does involve better communication in general between men and women. Singles need to clarify for themselves (first), what kind of partner they seek and what their expectations from a relationship really are. Once a person is clear about what they must have and what they can't live with, they need to go out and HONESTLY seek that. Knowing what you want is good. If you turn off someone by your frankness, he/she was not the someone for you.

So, begin with a self-assessment. Then go out and pursue interests and environments, which maximize your chances of meeting compatible singles. And remember, there is no perfect person. He may be overly fussy with his hair, take longer in the bathroom than most women, be less ambitious in his work life than you are and put your cooking to shame. However, if he's sensitive to YOUR needs, easy to talk to and fun to be with, great with kids and very supportive of your goals, he may be the guy of your dreams.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. As a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating tips and relationship advice in response to listener feedback. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer singles the knowledge and tools they need to find and sustain healthy, lasting love relationships. She is a member of The International Coach Federation, and The International Association Of Coaches.

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

Orlando Sentinel

Royal Caribbean ship gets first new Sky Pad attraction
Orlando Sentinel
Royal Caribbean's new bungee-jumping, trampolining, virtual reality attraction has made its debut on Independence of the Seas. The feature was installed on the top deck during a dry dock for the 3,858-passenger ship that will spend the summer based in ...

and more »

It's Valdez-Abbott for governor, but the main attraction in November will be O'Rourke vs. Cruz
Fort Worth Star Telegram
Tuesday's runoffs set the major party ballots for a November general election where Texas Republicans will be trying to maintain a 24-year winning streak in statewide elections while Democrats will be trying to breach the red seawall with a blue tsunami.

and more »

Star Local Media

City of Allen announces new Allen USA attraction
Star Local Media
So you think you can be a ninja? If so, you'll want to be at the Allen USA Celebration on June 30. Like the NFL combine-esque challenge presented at last year's Allen USA event, the Ninja Challenge presented by Ninja Nation will test the limits of ...


News 12 New Jersey

Field Station: Dinosaurs debuts new attraction
News 12 New Jersey
Field Station: Dinosaurs in Overpeck Park in Leonia has reopened for the season with the debut of a new attraction. The new spinosaurus dinosaur replaces one of the other dinosaurs that caught fire in 2016. Park officials say that the spinosaurus is ...


kwbe

ClickO on the Go: 'Star Wars' attraction coming soon; sunshine returning?
WKMG News 6 & ClickOrlando
Fans of the popular "Star Wars" saga won't have to wait much longer to attend the attraction expected to open at Disney World next year. Officials released the official date they're aiming to open the "Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge" attraction. Click here ...
Disney's "Star Wars: Galaxy Edge" attraction gets launch datekwbe
Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge attraction gets summer 2019 Disneyland opening dateTechSpot
'Star Wars' Theme Park Attraction to Debut at Disneyland in Summer 2019Complex
myCentralOregon.com -Disney Parks -YouTube
all 117 news articles »

Attractions Magazine

Crayola Experience Orlando announces new attraction for this summer, Kaleidoscope
Attractions Magazine
Crayola Experience has announced an all-new experience coming to their Orlando experience this summer, called Kaleidoscope. In this digital attraction, guests will stand in front of large screen that transforms their image into a swirling display of ...


Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Pittsburgh Zoo debuts new zipline attraction
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Visitors at the Pittsburgh Zoo & Aquarium can now catch a glimpse of exotic animals from a new perspective - a bird's eye view. The Zoo's new zipline attraction opens on Saturday, May 26, and runs through Labor Day weekend. “It's going to be a unique ...


Gulf Times

Colossal sculpture Kerala's new tourist attraction
Gulf Times
Kerala is set to open its new tourist attraction — a gigantic sculpture that houses various facilities atop a hill 1,000ft above sea level. Jatayu Earth's Center opening on July 4 also has Swiss-built cable cars to carry visitors to what is billed as ...


InAVate

Moscow marvel: AV at heart of award-winning attraction in Russia
InAVate
Lanit and Digis were tasked with not only delivering a visitor attraction to attract a significant proportion of the 17+ million tourists that visit Moscow each year, but ensuring quality engineering and IT infrastructure was in place underground in ...


Second BSA decision on Naked Attraction
Scoop.co.nz (press release)
In its second decision on the British dating series, Naked Attraction, the Broadcasting Standards Authority has found that it was acceptable to broadcast the final three episodes of the programme after 9.30pm with the AO (Adults Only) classification ...

Google News

The Principle of Abundance

One of the first great things I learned when starting... Read More

The Number One Secret to Success in Business

Clarity!If there is such a thing as a "secret" to... Read More

Some Gals Have All the Luck: How to Create Your Own Good Luck

You probably know a few. These gals marry the millionaire.... Read More

100 Ways to Keep Your Lover ? Happy ? At Home!

Here are over 100 ideas to help you keep monogamy... Read More

The Manifestations Of Self

A man is captive within himself. He dwells in a... Read More

Four Steps to Attracting More Good Luck

The Luck Factor rips apart the notion that luck is... Read More

Part II--The Journey to a State Called Authentic

Are you on the road yet? If not, pony up... Read More

Aging Gracefully Through Vastu Shastra

Aging is inevitable, but its most negative effects can be... Read More

Women and Bad Boys: What Is The Attraction?

"Bad Boys".If you're a woman, you may be saying "hmmm"... Read More

How to Attract Wealth

Have you been struggling with making ends meet? Are you... Read More

What is the Key to a Successful Life?

An ideal is not the dream that can never be... Read More

How To Know You Are Living Your Dream

How To Prove To Yourself That You Are Going After... Read More

How to Start a Conversation Effortlessly

The ability to converse effortlessly with those you encounter is... Read More

Stopping Time

Six hundred feet straight down! Nothing to break the fall.... Read More

Respect Is A Four-Letter Word

One of the most important needs for every human being... Read More

Is There Something Called Free Will

The statement ""The concept of free will is a fallacy""... Read More

If You Want Others to Like You, Like Yourself First!

Many of us mistakenly believe that it's wrong or conceited,... Read More

Knowledge is Power... So, Keep Your Mouth Closed To Keep It From Getting Away!

Did you ever wonder why it sometimes seems that communications... Read More

A Look In The Mirror

That's all it takes to change the world. Take a... Read More

Change Your Mind, Shift Your Life

Everyone can draw from the Universal Reserve Bank. What is... Read More

Write Goals, Say Prayers, and See Your Successful Future

Would you like to have more success in your life?... Read More

Change Thorns into Flowers

If you had to write an annual appraisal on yourself... Read More

To Be A Cut Above The Rest!

Mannerisms and personality traits go a long way in making... Read More

Hot Date Tonight?

Re-entering the dating scene is rather scary, but as a... Read More

What the Samurai Can Teach Us About Self-Improvement

A Seventeenth Century Samurai maxim states:"A man who has attained... Read More