The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected. Hopeless. You don't want to go back in the jungle again. You may even have that dread feeling of failure.
Suddenly, all the love songs at the radio seemed to have been written for you. You want to stay in bed. Shut all the doors and the windows. Bring the kids to your relatives for a while. You don't feel like talking to anybody now. You swear to yourself that you will never get involved with someone again, half believing it.
Life is much more exciting than that. Besides, you are not the last and only person experiencing a separation. And, it might not be your last breakup either. With the proper mental tools, break ups could be less painful.
Breaking up, I prefer to call it an opportunity for a change of habits. It's like having an addiction and you need to cut yourself from it. It's painful but necessary. The good news about it is that it doesn't need to be Hell on Earth. There are effective ways to go through this process with smooth sailing.
First, you absolutely need to stop thinking of the great moments that you had together. Chances are that those moments happened a long time ago, not to mention, not that often either. Keep in mind the reasons of your break up, until your mind is in sync with your heart. And don't keep in touch with that person for now, if you can. Or reduce the frequency of contacts at its bare minimum.
Write a letter
You need to let the emotions out. Write everything that frustrates you, made you angry, sad, etc? You don't necessarily need to send it to your previous partner but at least, this is a proven healing process for you to calm the storm inside. You can choose to keep it somewhere to read for yourself later, when the healing process will be over. You might discover some strength that you are not aware about you.
Make new friends.
You need to socialize more the ever. How do you do that? Go to fairs, reading clubs, sports clubs, art clubs, etc? ask questions, make conversations, and exchange phone numbers with people to do activities and keep in touch. Offer to help with something. Friends come fast like that. Don't jump into another relationship to avoid facing your feelings of emptiness. Chances are that there will be other disappointments. You need to finish the process of unblocking all of your emotions to freely open your heart again to someone else, and increase the chances of success.
Treat yourself. Take naps in the Sun. Get a pedicure. A great massage. Read the bible. Read inspiring texts that will give you strength ( Like the book "Chicken soup for Soul"). Go jogging. Do someYoga. Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples with the kids. You know what I mean; do all the activities that help put your soul to calm.
Stay away from unsupportive people
Neutralized your mind and heart from some comments of your family and friends. I am sure that they really want your good. But they maybe are a little bit ?. "clumsy" in the way they express their caring for you " When are you going the get married? You can't go from people to people like that! You are getting old, you know?" or " There are other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!" (I hate that one). Hang out with people who are taking your mind off things, who understands and gives you the support that you need. I remember reading this about hardships that " It is not only time that heals the heart, but also all the warmth and love around us."
Get a Pet
When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I got a cat. He was so tiny and requested so much of my attention that it fulfilled my need to feel wanted. A pet doesn't replace the love and attention that a boyfriend or girlfriend can give, but, it's all part of the process of having a full life. So get a dog, a cat, a turtle, whatever provides that added value in your life.
Find at least 3 Passions
You will need to get all the strength that you can possibly have to open your heart to fun. Fill your life to the fullest with different passions. Take cooking lessons, take a gold lesson, try other sports, and try painting, other arts, and hobbies of some kind. Learning a new thing will keep your mind busy, you will have a new skill and will feel good about yourself and, you will be more interesting for a future mate. One of my friends was single for at least 2 years. She decided to join a badminton club. The first semester, nobody was really interesting for her. In the second semester, there was still no new blood coming. But she still subscribed because she enjoyed the activity so much. The third semester, this dark handsome policeman join the league and it didn't take long before they hooked up. And today, they share, among other things, this passion. It's an opportunity to have fun together and to be together.
Yes! You read right! Date again! Jump right back on the Horse again! You need to rebuild your self-esteem and being in situations where people from the opposite sex find you interesting will prevent that you go down into that whole. You don't need to get deeply emotionally involved. Date to have fun. Keep the relationships light and simple. Where do you find those people? Go on dating sites, classifieds, friends, and acquaintances. Since you are not out to find a husband and wife yet, you won't be threatening.
Get to the stage of feeling great being single
Take the time to Truly feel fulfilled in a single life. This is a powerful way to find true love because if you are having a great life alone, you will be willing give up your exciting single lifestyle for the person that is really worth it.
Be and Feel Successful
And if you are out for revenge the greatest revenge of all is Success. Take this opportunity to develop your personality even more. Your children, if you have, will be proud of you and people around you will admire your strength and more opportunities will occur.
If you were to consider coming back with your partner, start considering it not before 6 months to a year after the break up. This has given time to you and your partner to reflect on your mutual faults and strengths, and to heal.
Experiencing loss is a difficult moment of our life to pass. But you can take this opportunity to prove to yourself, once again, how much of a winner you are; take this opportunity to transform yourself even more. If you transform your life while you are not in a relationship, with a partner, you will collect the fruits of these initiatives.
The most important thing: laugh, laugh, and laugh. Laugh at every opportunity that life gives you. Feel good and be happy.
Wishing you great success in finding happiness again.
Who is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love, relationship, romance because she is reading extensively on the subject. She is gladly sharing her knowledge and experience. To continue receiving tips on how to get the love life that you want, you can subscribe free to her newsletter at http://www.everydaybetterliving.com [email protected]
While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More
A man walking through the woods near a river hears... Read More
When you are dating you try to keep from a... Read More
Wendy started counseling with me because Terence, her husband of... Read More
Work. Bills. Kids. Chores.Etc.All these things get in the way... Read More
Body Language can tell you a lot about what is... Read More
Most single guys are settled in their life. Their mornings,... Read More
Emotional infidelity can start with a simple hi or a... Read More
We've all had relationships that we've looked back on and... Read More
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More
Finally, after all of the hard work you have done... Read More
Deep down, we haven't evolved as much as we would... Read More
Do you want be in a relationship that brings you... Read More
Living with adult ADD can be quite a challenge. Not... Read More
Was it a hectic day for you, or did you... Read More
"If he comes we welcome, If he goes we do... Read More
Well, here I am very much in love and starting... Read More
Send flowers this Friendship Day, Sunday, August 7th! Across the... Read More
Kathleen and Dan have been together for several years now.... Read More
Couples that are together for a while sometimes suffer from... Read More
"Kiss: a secret told to the mouth instead of to... Read More
A few years back I was on a radio talk... Read More
Mark Twain once saidGod's great cosmic joke on the human... Read More
Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite... Read More
Stepping into a new position brought along a few surprises.... Read More
Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a... Read More
How do you know when it's time to say goodbye... Read More
A relationship requires intimacy. I don't think anyone would argue... Read More
Men and women can't really be just friends, can they?... Read More
Just think of being in front of a warm cracking... Read More
My Dear Lover,Today I am sad, I don't have good... Read More
Trust is something that is important to every single relationship... Read More
Mark Twain once saidGod's great cosmic joke on the human... Read More
Communication and listening is very important in any relationship. For... Read More
If you have looked high and low, left and right... Read More
"My feelings have changed," my boyfriend of five years told... Read More
Conflict in a relationship is both normal and painful. In... Read More
The question I am asked most often is: I think... Read More
Buying lingerie for your lover can be one of the... Read More
I recently came across this quote:"There is a time in... Read More
It is a given truth that there are people out... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 7,... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 19,... Read More
A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More
Good communication is of fundamental importance in intimate relationships. The... Read More
Before the advent of the internet, long-distance relationships were rare.... Read More
Sometimes the people who are the closest to us, our... Read More
Although conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More
I believe that we have all heard of the standard... Read More
"Life has taught us that love does not consist in... Read More