Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
Maybe Not Bones, But Hearts...And Worse: The Destructive Power of Simple Speech > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

Maybe Not Bones, But Hearts...And Worse: The Destructive Power of Simple Speech

Out of the blue, slap bang in the middle of a working day, an unexplained sensation inside your mouth breaks your concentration.

You have deadlines to meet, and you react merely by immersing yourself with new determination in the task in hand.

At least until the next day, when the mild discomfort has progressed to a stabbing pain.

Any wishful thinking that the fate of the whole world depends on your finishing your work is now irrelevant. When you reach the dentist, he shakes his head sympathetically and jabs a needle right into your gums.

Wonderful thing, these anesthetics. The ache is gone even before he lays a finger on that troublesome tooth!

Now, let's imagine you were created with a kind of natural anesthetic, that washed your mouth continuously so that you never got toothache. Good? Probably not. You'd never know when a tooth needed attention, until it would be far too late.

Horrified and sickened..

Problem is, this isn't as far fetched as it may seem. You see, you get anesthetics for the body, and other anesthetics for the mind.

A former teacher, John Andrew Murray, wrote in Teachers in Focus magazine about his experiences with an English class at a private American school.

In order to spice his lessons, Murray was using the old television series, "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" each week to teach his students about plot development.

After a few weeks, he decided to stop the show before the end and let the students write their own endings. The students liked the ideas so much that they wanted to read their work aloud in class.

After about the third student, he put a stop to the reading aloud. What the teacher had heard horrified and sickened him.

When he later discussed with them the very explicit imagery of violence he had found in their papers, Murray's students were quick to insist that media violence didn't affect them because the graphic scenes they saw on TV and films were "fake". Murray then asked them how they would feel if they saw a dog on TV getting riddled with bullets.

"How horrible!" they cried out in unison.

Murray concludes that unlike the human carnage they regularly witnessed on TV, his students had found animal deaths appalling because they had seldom seen it. For the first time, they realized how desensitized they had become to violence.

Sad, isn't it?

The truth is, with most human beings the desensitization process goes even further. Much further. Sometimes, it's good. ( We eventually "get over" a loss, or forget a traumatic episode.) More often, it's anything but good.

Remarkable human talent

Take the remarkable human talent for hurting others by what we say.

At times, it's deliberate; we WANT to inflict verbal pain on our friends -whether we admit it or not. (Often, this is to compensate ourselves for imagined feelings of inferiority). At other times, we don't intend to offend, but do so nonetheless.

It's the art of anesthesia again. We've become desensitized.

A seemingly innocuous example. A friend may have a spouse, child, or parent who's critically ill. We unwittingly reassure her: "Don't worry, everything will be fine."

She's not comforted. Just the reverse. She knows everything won't be fine.

For that matter, why tell a friend who bought herself a new dress last week, even if she asks for your opinion, that it looks terrible on her? (I'm assuming it's already too late for her to do anything about it; if she can, that might be different, provided you tell her the right way!)

I won't even talk here of purposeful innuendos, backhanded compliments, slurs and insults. At all times, people who really want to spread love in the world should take extra care with their speech.

Do you remember the schoolyard chant: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!

Utter tripe!

OK, words may be rarely able to break bones, but they can break our hearts, our spirits, even our reputations.

And yes, our ability to develop and maintain meaningful relationships.

Azriel Winnett is creator of - Your Communication Skills Portal. This popular free website helps you improve your communication and relationship skills in your business or professional life, in the family unit and on the social scene. New articles added almost daily.

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at

New York Times

70 Years Later, Norway Apologizes to Women Who Had Relationships With German Soldiers
New York Times
LONDON — In a national reckoning with its past, the Norwegian government has offered an official apology to women — and their offspring — who were ostracized, stigmatized and in some cases deported because of their relationships with German soldiers ...

and more » (blog)

Taking Stock of Your Relationships (blog)
In other words, our relationships are paramount to our mood, energy levels, sense of self—and, of course, our lives. But how often do you take the time to think about how your relationships are affecting you? Maybe you think about a specific ...

Psychology Today (blog)

Relationship Sanity
Psychology Today (blog)
Put simply, insane relationships are relationships that have not achieved balance in giving and receiving, and, therefore cannot give its participants feelings of safety and of loving and being loved. So, yes, relationship insanity is epidemic. Most of ...


Murder Investigation Turns To Suspect's Past Relationships
RICE -- Authorities are looking further into the past of the man who allegedly killed a 7-month-old boy from Rice. The Benton County Sheriff's Office is looking to identify and interview any women who may have been in a significant relationship with 29 ...
Sheriff Wants Details of Accused Child Killer's Past RelationshipsKNSI Radio
Sheriff seeks details about infant murder suspect's past relationshipsSt. Cloud Times

all 6 news articles »

Chicago Daily Herald

Conant teacher resigns after allegation of inappropriate relationships
Chicago Daily Herald
Palatine-Schaumburg High School District 211 board member accepted the resignation of a female Conant High School teacher Thursday night amid an investigation into an anonymous allegation that she had inappropriate relationships with students ...

and more »

Yakima Herald-Republic

Our Relationship: Charlotte and Lloyd Cook
Yakima Herald-Republic
“One day when we were 12, I was not feeling well and Lloyd helped me finish my row and fill up the boxes in my carrier. I thought what a serious, mature fellow he was. He reminded me of my good father,” Charlotte wrote in a summary of their relationship.

CBN News

Popular Evangelical University Reinstates Ban on LGBTQ Relationships
CBN News
Azusa Pacific University (APU), the first Christian university on the West Coast, raised brows earlier this year after it reversed its policy on banning public LGBTQ relationships on campus. However, the Board of Trustees said they never approved the ...

and more »

Reinforcing resiliency through nurturing relationships
Wahpeton Daily News
The single most common finding is that children who end up doing well have had at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult. These relationships hopefully begin in the family, yet they also include ...


Pruitt proud of relationships he built with Alabama's players
“We have a great relationship,” Tide linebacker Mack Wilson said this week. “Me and him stay in touch pretty well. I always text him and congratulate him whenever they win or whatever. I feel like our relationship will always be there. I bonded well ...

Victoria Advocate

Zoo Connection: The value of building relationships with animals
Victoria Advocate
Building a relationship takes time. Pete spent any spare moment with Bandit. He would sit with him, play with him and scratch him. Bandit liked that a lot. Pete also started to take him to other areas in the zoo to let him explore, like the new ...

Google News

Romantic Gift Guide

It is a commonly held belief, mainly amongst men, that... Read More

Relationship Conflict - Blow Up or Blow Through

Every now and then I hear a "relationship expert" say... Read More

Who Should Relocate In A Long Distance Relationship?

My Dear Lover,Soon or later, you and your beloved will... Read More

Relationship Advice: Safety, Intimacy, and Fun

When people come in for marriage counseling, they bring their... Read More

Fight, Flight, or Loving Action

Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When... Read More

Affairs: Advice for the One Who Was Betrayed

You are hurt, you are angry, you are simply devastated.Things... Read More

Tune Up Your Relationship

Why do some relationships last forever and others fall apart?... Read More

Relationship Reality: Are Your Relationships Based In Reality or Fantasy?

Within the next two to three minutes, you will uncover... Read More

Energize Your Relationship By Celebrating Hoodie-Hoo Day February 20th

What is Hoodie-Hoo Day and what does it have to... Read More

Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids?

Striking a perfect balance between work and home today can... Read More

Relationship Advice: Words Can Hurt or Heal

"Stick and stones, may break my bones, but words will... Read More

Are You Relationship Ready?

So, you want to fall in love? You are certainly... Read More

Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Survive a Break Up

Break ups are never easy. You are a bundle of... Read More

Can This Relationship Be Helped?

I have been counseling couples for 35 years. Quite often... Read More

7 Myths About Good Guys

It is every woman's dream to meet a "Good Guy"... Read More

The Simple Facts About Falling In Love

We are meant to live a life of love. However,... Read More

Apologizing When We Hurt Our Friends or Partners

In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt... Read More

And They Didnt Even Know I was Looking: Lessons on Love from My Parents

I came from good people. I didn't always know that.You... Read More

Universal Laws for Couples

The Law of Connection: Spouses are either growing closer or... Read More

The Spiritual Connection of True Romance

In the springtime, with the flowers budding and the birds... Read More

Why Doesnt She Leave Him?

It's very easy to look, from the outside, at another... Read More

How To Save Your Marriage

Getting married (or beginning an intimate relationship) is, in a... Read More

Seduction Secrets For Men Part 3 - A Wonderful Idea To Spice Up Your Existing Relationships

There is a cool little game for spicing up your... Read More

Relationship Advice: Voices of Experience on the Radio

A few years back I was on a radio talk... Read More

The Sound of His Laughter

When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you... Read More