Say, Whats On Your Mind, Partner?

Stan is an incurable romantic. Ever since he started courting Marge seriously, he has been sending or bringing her flowers. During the couple of weeks leading up to their wedding, he sent her a different arrangement every day. He continued this practice every Friday for a long time thereafter.

Marge had never been very much inclined towards sentimentalism and thought of herself as a strictly practical type. But it took several years for her to find the courage to speak up.

"You know, Stan, I really love you and I think it's terrific that you want to bring me flowers and you never miss a week, come hell or high water. "But you know, I'm not really mad about flowers that much. Besides, they die so soon afterward that I feel guilty that we're wasting our money. If you insist on buying me something, I'd rather you saved up for a more lasting gift..."

This is a trivial case (fortunately), but if you're unable to tell your relationship partner what's on your mind in small matters, it's unlikely that you'll feel comfortable doing so in major areas of concern.

Hurt and angry couples often tell counselors "he should have known..." or "she should have realized...." when things are already at breaking point. But they don't explain how he should known, or how she should have realized. Is he or she a clairvoyant? Did anybody actually tell him or her?

This approach is comparable to that of someone who never makes grocery lists before she goes to the supermarket, but relies on her intuition. After eight shopping expeditions, she might have six bottles of ketchup in her refrigerator. At other times, her family may have to go weeks on end without butter. In intimate relationships, such an approach to life can be disastrous. Never rely on your intuition, and even less so, the intuition of your partner. Ask your soul mate what's on his or her mind, and don't be shy to tell him or her what's on yours!

Other spouses who opt to keep their mouths shut don't get away with it so easily.

Habitually late...

Jake's wife, Pat, was habitually late whenever, for whatever reason, they agreed to meet at some place. Jake would often arrange to meet Pat at the appointed destination a half hour earlier than the time he really intended, but all the tricks in the book didn't help.

Jake normally worked to a tight schedule, and Pat's consistent disregard for punctuality and apparent lack of consideration needled him no end. For all that, out of concern for Pat's feelings, he never said a word about it. However angry he felt, he would bite his lip and remain silent.

Until one day when they were due to arrive separately at an family gathering where Pat's presence was important. She eventually showed her face over an hour late. The bubble containing Jake's years of simmering frustration finally burst. He screamed and yelled, embarrassing not only Pat but all their relatives.

To his credit, Jake had recognized his potentially destructive ego (see our article How to Tame the Destructive Ego on this site) right from the first time Pat had arrived late. He had resolved not to let it have its own way. Just unfortunately, he went about the task in an inappropriate fashion.

If there's one thing that we all have to learn, it's that we cannot drive our relationships on automatic pilot. On the contrary, we have to watch where we are headed, and make immediate course adjustments as necessary.

Azriel Winnett is the creator of Hodu. com - Your Communication Skills Portal. This popular website helps you to improve your communication and relationship skills on all levels, in business and professional life, in the family unit, and on the social scene. New articles added almost daily.

In The News:

Fostering Client Relationships  Business.comWhen clients and ad agencies partner, more powerful results happen.
Why do we stay in bad relationships?  MetroLife is short – way too short to stay in a bad relationship which isn't making you happy. And yet so many of us find it impossible to make the break, even when we ...
How To Transform Your Relationships By Getting Creative  ForbesAre you a victim, a persecutor, or a rescuer? If you're human, chances are there will be different situations where you may view yourself (or be seen by others) as ...
ASK ZELDA: Our relationships expert Zelda West-Meads answers your questions  Daily MailShould I stay with my husband for the sake of our children or divorce him and bring them up on my own? Can a marriage survive with a complete lack of trust?
This One Dating Lie Has Ruined SO Many Relationships  InStyleIt's not helping anyone to pretend you want something that you don't.
How we can raise kids to have healthy relationships with food, themselves and all kinds of bodies  CBC.caI have never heard my kid say a bad word about how she looks or her body overall and, at seven years old, she still doesn't know what a diet is. That's saying ...
Hailey Baldwin calls out people tearing apart her relationships on Instagram  Business StandardRead more about Hailey Baldwin calls out people 'tearing apart' her relationships on Instagram on Business Standard. Seems like Hailey Baldwin does not like ...
Relationships the key to business building, according to expert  Newnan Times-HeraldRelationship building and finding common interests is the foundation of building a business and referrals, according to Wendy Kinney, founder of PowerCore, ...
Relationships don't work if salaries don't match  New York Post Before getting serious with a new partner, you may want to check their paystubs. According to new research, relationships are incompatible if there's a...
Why do we stay in unhappy relationships? Research offers answers  Medical XpressWhy do we remain in romantic relationships that leave us unhappy and unfulfilled? The answer in two new studies co-authored by a University of Toronto ...
Why do interpersonal relationships differ between societies?  Research MattersA multi-national team of scientists spanning Asia, Europe, South America and Australasia, including researchers from the Indian Institute of Technology Delhi, ...
11 ways alcohol affects your sex life and relationships  INSIDERA drink can help you relax, bond with others, and reduce anxiety. But too much alcohol also has a negative impact on your relationships.
Inspectors praise good relationships at north-east primary school  Aberdeen Evening ExpressRelationships between staff and children at a school are “positive and supportive”, inspectors have said. Monitors from the Education Scotland watchdog have ...
Movie castings that ruined relationships  Nicki SwiftOne's work can really complicate a relationship, especially if they have a job with long hours that requires a lot of travel. For most celebrities, that's a given, and ...
What people want from relationships influences how they flirt, study finds  PsyPostNew research from Southwestern University has found that people who are pursuing short-term sexual relationships are more likely to engage in unusual ...
People continue to be in unhappy relationships to not hurt their partner  Economic TimesWASHINGTON D.C. [USA]: According to various researchers, many couples who are not in love anymore or no longer into each other choose to stay together ...
Do men try to restore power balance by being aggressive in relationships?  Economic TimesWELLINGTON: Heterosexual sexist men who think their female partners or wives want to control them are more likely to underestimate their power in romantic ...
Cherish relationships with financial planning  LivemintThe financial strains can lead to increased irritability, pressure, insecurity, and fear. If you don't play your cards right, relationships could pay the price. It could be ...
Why are sexist men more aggressive in romantic relationships?  Times of IndiaSexist men who think their female partners or wives want to control them are more likely to underestimate their power in romantic relationships and ac.
Eddie Izzard: 'Being transgender made it tricky to have a relationship'  The Sydney Morning HeraldEddie Izzard on his career, the women who influenced him and marriage.
How To Overcome The Three Challenges Of Maintaining Professional Relationships  ForbesWith refined communication skills at the ready and a host of networking opportunities marked on your calendar, you're well on your way to building the strong ...
Fathers, sons gather to promote safe, healthy relationships  FirstCoastNews.com WTLV-WJXXFathers and sons gathered Friday on the Jaguars practice field to promote safe and healthy relationships.
Relationships: ‘I got sent the worst breakup text of all time’  NEWS.com.auOur first encounter was like something out of a '90s rom-com about a woman holidaying in Portugal.
The value of the spaces between you, me and us  YourStoryYourStory CEO Shradha Sharma reflects on the value of space in every relationship and recognising individual merit after her meeting with Mrs Sudha Murty.
Assessing player-GM relationships in the wake of Kyle Lowry's comments about Masai Ujiri  CBS SportsOn Tuesday, Kyle Lowry had some interesting words regarding Raptors GM Masai Ujiri. When he was asked by ESPN's Rachel Nichols about his relationship ...
How to save your struggling relationship  NEWS.com.auThe Christmas-holiday season is the chance to spend more time with your partner without distractions from work or kids' school/sport commitments, and a time to ...
Local News, Central professor's relationships raise questions  Columbia Basin HeraldELLENSBURG — When does an inappropriate relationship become sexual harassment? An internal Central Washington.
Panel Says Federal Judge Pursued Inappropriate Relationships | Louisiana News  U.S. News & World ReportNEW ORLEANS (AP) — A panel of federal judges in New Orleans has found that a federal magistrate judge "inappropriately pursued social relationships" with ...
3 Simple Ways To Cement Customer Relationships  ForbesHere are three scalable ways to build relationships with your customers.
What is your relationship with money?  Shreveport TimesIf money was a person, what kind of friend would she be? For most of us, money is best described as one of those “complicated relationships.” You know the drill ...
Lauren Bushnell Reveals What She Learned From Her Past Relationships With Ben Higgins and Devin Antin  Us WeeklyShe's still learning. Lauren Bushnell may be in a happy relationship now, but that doesn't mean she isn't still benefitting from her past relationships.
Help Your Sons Navigate 'Mean Boy' Relationships  LifehackerWhen we think about the way our kids might face conflict with their peers, we may have a tendency to assume our sons' conflict is likely to be physical, whereas ...
10 people share what they argue about most in their relationships  Business InsiderWhat couples argue about will differ from couple to couple. Here, 10 people share what they argue about most in their relationships.
Navigating tricky relationships during the holidays - Harvard Health Blog  Harvard HealthDo you have a challenging relationship with certain family or friends you see during the holidays? Here's how to navigate tricky situations and conversations ...
'The Conners' recap: Romance is messy in good and bad ways  USA TODAYSpoiler alert: This recap contains significant details from Tuesday's episode of ABC's "The Conners." Darlene and her aunt, Jackie, are having very different ...
Sexist men underestimate their power in romantic relationships: Concern for losing power to women can lead to more aggression  Science DailyHeterosexual men with sexist attitudes may underestimate how much power they actually have in their romantic relationships, which could lead to increased ...
Happy Relationships are the Key to a Fulfilling Life, According to 75-Year-Long Harvard Study  Mental FlossThe key to a fulfilling life has nothing to do with getting ahead at work, making money, or traveling the world. As Fast Company reports, according to a 75-year ...
Porsha Williams & Dennis McKinley Relationship Updates Show The 'RHOA' Couple Is Still Crazy In Love  BustlePorsha Williams' love life has been explored on the Real Housewives of Atlanta for the past few seasons, including her very dramatic divorce from ex-husband ...
A Milestone: All Of The Walking Dead's Relationships Are Now Interracial Or LGBT  ForbesSix years later, The Walking Dead has produced a new society, and all of its current relationships are LGBT or interracial for the first time.
16 Tweets About Dating & Relationships During The Holidays That Are So Relatable  Elite DailyOne of the best things about the holiday season is when you have someone to share it with. While I am single this year, some of my best holiday memories ...
The Silly Habit That Makes For A Happier Relationship  mindbodygreen.comMy partner and I use a lot of pet names, and I mean a lot. Any time I call him by his actual first name, we both jump a little because it sounds so foreign. Our more ...
Using pet names ‘strengthens’ romantic relationships, research suggests  The IndependentThe language of love is rich, personal, and wrought with nuance, that is, if you're discounting pet names. “Sweetie”, “muffin” and “baby” are just some of the trite ...
Will Your Relationship Last? Science Says Couples Who Do This 1 Thing Regularly are More Likely to Stay Together  Inc.A happy relationship at home makes your professional life and work/life balance far easier and more stable. Make your partner your ally.
How Social Media Usage Affects Doctor To Patient Relationships  ForbesSocial media has made a significant impact on every aspect of our lives. Healthcare is no exception. The increasing usage of social networks among both ...
Is It Better to Be Loyal or Honest in Your Relationships?  Psychology TodayAn old friend is in town on a trip that you've known about for months. Back when you made a date to get together for the evening, it seemed like a great idea.
Kansas City trainer explains service dogs relationships with owners  KCTV Kansas City*Service* dogs can be life-changing for people with special needs. They go through rigorous training from rambunctious puppies, to reliable companions.
​The saga of a long-term relationship  Times of IndiaBreak-ups are always painful, especially, the ones that happen when you have dated someone for years. A recent study delved into the subject of long-term ...
4 Common Relationship Problems & How to Fix Them - Relationship Issues  Men's HealthGoing through a rough patch? You're probably not alone. These are some of the most common relationship problems—and what you can do to fix them.
4 signs your new relationship is moving way too fast  INSIDERA relationship therapist explains how to tell if your new romance is moving along too quickly, like if you see the person multiple times per week.
7 Weird Habits You Develop In A Long-Distance Relationship I love being in a long  BustleI love being in a long-distance relationship. I get plenty of space and time to myself, can sleep in my own bed (partner-induced insomnia is real!), and rarely fight ...
Uttar Pradesh: Man stabs cabbie to death for having relationship with girlfriend, 4 arrested  Times NowFour people were arrested for allegedly stabbing a taxi driver to death over an "affair" with a woman. One of the prime accused confessed the crime with the ...
Five signs you are not ready to be in a relationship yet  The StandardMoving on can be a difficult process after a breakup. While some jump into new relationships quickly, others choose to deliberately remain single for a while so ...
One bold step can heal a relationship  Daily NationJames kept booking appointments with me, and then cancelling and apologising. When he booked his fifth appointment in a span of three weeks it hit me that he ...
US actor marries herself after series of failed relationships  The Express TribuneRodriguez says marrying herself reminder she has everything she ever needs.
We feel rubbish about our relationships when compared to Instagram baes  MetroWe know, we know, it's not a good idea to compare ourselves to those on Instagram. And yet we can't help but have travel envy or wish we had those...
Lauren Daigle and the Lost Art of Discernment  The AtlanticIn a culture dominated by sharp opinions, admitting uncertainty comes at a cost. The Christian musician Lauren Daigle just learned that lesson the hard way.
Relationship Pet Names Actually Make Your Bond Stronger, A New Study Finds  Elite DailyMy current relationship is my first real long-term one after 23 straight years of being single and, I must say, the most difficult part of transitioning from being single ...
Homeless women entering dangerous and abusive relationships as form of protection, report finds  The IndependentHomeless women are entering abusive relationships to protect themselves from the risks of living on the street, research has found. These relationships often ...
Relationships Take Time And Energy  The FriskyIf I were to ask you to rate yourself on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being the highest, on how you show up to your relationship each day, what kind of score do you ...
4 Signs You Need To Slow Down Your Relationship With Your Partner, So Pump The Brakes  Elite DailyIt's only been five months, and she's talking about moving in with him. Isn't that a little fast?” Amanda, one of my BFFs, asked while expressing concerns over a ...
Kevin Clifton: Strictly professional's relationship timeline including three marriages  HeartStrictly Come Dancing pro Kevin Clifton made headlines after he married fellow dancer Karen. However, after their recent separation, we take a look Kevin's ...
Fireworks and fraught relationships flare in a tense My Brilliant Friend  The A.V. ClubYou walk to work every day. You see the same things, the same people; you utter the same greetings, catch the same scents on the air. It's right there in front of ...
Humans.net is Changing How People Broker Work Relationships [Interview]  BitcoinistBitcoinist recently caught up with Vlad Dobrynin, CEO and Founder of Humans.net, to discuss his project and the future of the blockchain space. Here's what he ...
Mel B spills on Spice Girls’ relationship with former bandmate Posh  Gold Coast BulletinMelanie Mel B Brown has revealed she still hasnt given up hope that Victoria Beckham will join the reformed Spice Girls on stage during their highly-anticipated ...
If You Want A Happy Relationship, These Are The Qualities To Look For  HuffPostAnd how to know early on if a person will make a good romantic partner.
Vettel: Only "time will tell" whether relationship with Leclerc will work  GPblog.comSebastian Vettel says "time will tell" if his partnership with Charles Leclerc will work. The German claims he doesn't know the Monegasque enough yet to make a ...
Relationships, unfinished business key Brohm decision  247SportsRelationships, commitment, unfinished business key in Jeff Brohm decision.
Beware the relationship dangers of workplace parties  Sunshine Coast DailyHow to navigate the joys and pitfalls of the workplace Christmas party.
Why Sexist Men Think Women Have All the Power in Relationships  FatherlyHostile, sexist men are more likely to believe that their partners have more power in relationships than they do, and act out in aggression as a result.
ASK AMY: Twin obsession interferes with dating relationship  Toronto SunDear Amy: I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years.The first year of our relationship, his twin sister was living in another country. She came back to live ...
Review calls for ban on sexual relationships between wrestlers and coaches  Toronto StarCanada's national governing body for Olympic-style wrestling has a “long history” of tolerating sexual relationships between national team coaches and athletes, ...
#MeToo: India Inc redefines code of conduct, forbids romantic relationships between senior and subordinate  Economic TimesIndia Inc is redefining its code of conduct at workplaces in the wake of a flurry #MeToo sexual harassment allegations, from booking separate hotels when two ...
Karl Stefanovic praises Jasmine Yarbrough as 'the rock' in their relationship after wedding  Daily MailKarl Stefanovic has praised Jasmine Yarbrough as his 'rock' following their wedding in Los Cabos, Mexico on Saturday.
Four Steps To Build A Positive Agency-Client Relationship  ForbesWhether it's for marketing, public relations, website development, mobile application development or any other number of specialized services, the agency-client ...
Wildcats' coaching staff mined relationships, leaned on languages to secure 2019 recruiting class  Arizona Daily StarAdia Barnes' connections — and a ton of hard work — helped the UA secure what should be another highly regarded class.
Bigg Boss 12: After eviction, Jasleen Matharu calls relationship with Anup Jalota a prank  Hindustan TimesJasleen Matharu -- who made headlines for ostensibly dating singer Anup Jalota - is the latest contestant to be evicted from Bigg Boss 12's Weekend Ka Vaar ...
Deepika Padukone And Ranveer Singh's Reception: Old Flames And New Relationships Under One Roof  BollywoodShaadis.comAfter their mega Italy wedding, the DeepVeer saga continued with the post-wedding functions in India and like how! Deepika Padukone and Ranveer Singh's ...
NFL Rumors: Tom Brady, Bill Belichick Have Made Amends, Improved Relationship  NESNFor the better part of a year, we have heard constant whispers about the deteriorating relationship between the architects of the New England Patriots' dynasty.
The top relationship fear for each Myers-Briggs personality type  Well+GoodCheck out your top relationship deal breaker according to your Myers-Briggs personality type. This way, you can address the isssue head-on.
Snapchat adds Friendship Profiles to highlight your relationships  EngadgetSnapchat is introducing new Friendship Profiles that will celebrate your relationships with your closest friends. The feature will dig up some of the highlights...
One-Sided Relationship Signs - Selfish Relationship Signs  Cosmopolitan.comHere are five signs that will reveal if you are in a one-sided relationship.
Here's Why Ian Somerhalder & Nikki Reed Are Relationship Goals  E! OnlineBetween busy schedules and raising their daughter, these two have maintained a bond that will make you swoon.
Relationship virgins: rise of new millennial dating trend  NEWS.com.auIf you believe the movies then romantic relationships are the most significant element of life; they're THE connection needed for deep fulfilment and meaning.
F1 news: Lewis Hamilton reveals what relationship with Fernando Alonso is really like  ExpressLEWIS HAMILTON has lifted the lid on what his relationship with Fernando Alonso is really like as the two-time champion leaves F1 behind.
Cornell Career Services Looks to Improve Relationships with Selective Organizations  Cornell University The Cornell Daily Sunin addition to the lack of coordination between the organizations, Sparrow said many employers now also choose not to reveal their interactions with selective ...
7 Ways To Stop Toxic Thoughts From Sabotaging Your Relationship  BustleThere are all kinds of things that can ruin a perfectly good relationship. For instance, cheating and incompatibility are two major ones. But according to experts, ...
The 1975 'A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships' Review  SPINMore than anything the 1975 have released to date, 'A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships' is prone to maniacal ambition as well as crippling self-doubt and.
9 Unexpected Relationship Rules To Live By After One Year If You Want It To Last  BustleMaking it to your one year anniversary is a major feat, and can say a lot about the strength of your relationship. But if you're looking forward to many more ...
What causes you to feel butterflies in a new relationship, and how to get that feeling back with your long-term love  INSIDERAt the start of a budding relationship, many people experience butterflies and first-date jitters. As time passes in a relationship, however, that feeling can begin to ...
Honey, can we keep this relationship private?  wknd.Modern couples - and experts - tell us where to draw the line on sharing and oversharing information online.
Stacey Dooley's beau is 'insanely jealous' over 'close relationship' with Strictly's Kevin Clifton  Daily MailStacey Dooley has hit back at reports her long-term boyfriend is 'insanely jealous' over her 'close' relationship with her Strictly Come Dancing partner Kevin ...
You lack locus standi to meddle in client-lawyer relationship, NBA tells EFCC  The PunchThe Economic and Financial Commission lacks the locus standi to meddle in client-lawyer contractual relationship, the Nigerian Bar Association has said.
Why you stayed in that unhappy relationship for too long  CNNThe reason you stayed has less to do with you than with you than what you thought your partner needed.
Women Get Friend-Zoned Too, The Difference Is Men Still Sleep With Us Anyway  Refinery29"Girls get friend-zoned too. [The] only difference is the guy will still sleep with you." That tweet hit a raw nerve last month. But the claim, which racked up about ...
Huawei arrest puts focus on Chinese company's relationship with Canadian telecoms  Financial PostIt's no secret that Huawei Technologies Co. is deeply entrenched in Canada after a decade of doing business in the country. But the future of the Chinese ...
The 1975: A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships review – melodic light relief abounds  The GuardianAs generational demarcators go, there are few more electrified than Auto-Tune. The vocal effect is layered over passages of this significant third album by the ...
What is codependency? Signs of a codependent relationship  NBCNews.com“Codependent” is one of those oft-used buzzwords that implies various levels of neediness in a relationship, or attachments tinged with a hint of desperation.
HMP Warren Hill: England's best jail 'all about relationships'  BBC NewsThe governor of England's best jail - where inmates are called "residents" - has said its success is "all about" strong staff-inmate relationships. HMP Warren Hill ...
Shameless: 20 Things That Don't Make Sense About Fiona And Jimmy's Relationship  Screen RantSome fans still ship Fiona Gallagher with her original Shameless boyfriend Jimmy, but there are plenty of reasons the couple was never good together.
Jennifer Aniston Dishes Out The Best Relationship Advice  MTV.comSpeaking with Elle magazine in a new profile that separates the real Jennifer Aniston from the false persona generated by years of tabloid stories, the Dumplin' ...

7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don't just happen. I've heard many of my... Read More

Cheating Spouse: 7 Legitimate Motives for Spying

Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You... Read More

Finding Love With Feng Shui

If true love has been eluding you, you could increase... Read More

Only You Can Decide If Your Interracial Love Will Stand the Test of Time

Interracial dating has really evolved over the past two decades... Read More

Infidelity: Difference Between a Rage and Revenge Affair

The fifth affair I outline in my book, "Break Free... Read More

Relationship Habits

How many of you have ever been involved with a... Read More

Legal Agreement to Cohabitate Between Unmarried Persons

THIS AGREEMENT is made and entered into this Third day... Read More

How to Create a Solid Foundation for Loving Relationships

What does real love look like? The way we act... Read More

Buying A Diamond For Your Special Person?

The first thing you want to consider when buying a... Read More

Relationship Advice: Two Tips for Great Relationships

Relationship Tip 1I've been blessed with working with thousands of... Read More

Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck

"and they lived happily ever after...That is how our favorite... Read More

Secrets To Get To The Heart Of Your Loved One

The other day, I was home with my sweet love... Read More

Save Your Relationships (5 Easy Steps To A Winning Relationship)

We all enter relationships hoping they will make us happy.... Read More

Great Relationships: How to Get the Spark Back

Losing the spark - simply, if you will, falling out... Read More

Apologizing When We Hurt Our Friends or Partners

In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt... Read More

Seduction Secrets For Men Part 3 - A Wonderful Idea To Spice Up Your Existing Relationships

There is a cool little game for spicing up your... Read More

When Are You Ready to Move onto a New Relationship?

Breakups can be painful and difficult on so many difficult... Read More

The 4 Stages of a Relationship

1. The Perfect Phase is the first three months. If... Read More

Great Relationships - 3 Things to Avoid, 3 Things to Do

"Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he... Read More

Relationship Quiz - Copasetic, Caution, or Conundrum?

This quiz is based on key areas of communication and... Read More

Are the Neighbors Next Door Secretly Swinging?

The swinging lifestyle does not discriminate against race, body type,... Read More

Five Easy Steps to Creating Your Dream Relationship

Millions of singles across the world are looking to create... Read More

Relationship Conflict - Blow Up or Blow Through

Every now and then I hear a "relationship expert" say... Read More

My Concept

From my own personal experiences with relationships I believe in... Read More

Are You Paralysed By The Fear Of Future Regrets?

Edith Piaf remains an icon and her best loved song,... Read More