Here Come the Questions

Why is it that even though I am not positive if I like a guy, because of course it's only been a week, that when he doesn't call for 3 days it becomes a dramatic incident, and all of a sudden its Fiona Apple time? There is no reason for him to not call; everything was fine last we spoke. With the time frame we are discussing here in the first place it shouldn't even phase me that a man decides to not call for 3 days, or possibly (gulp) never again. I never slept with him, I never drunkenly made a fool of myself over him or around him, in fact we had a lovely first date, probably one of the most successful I have ever been on considering this particular date including shopping. On top of that we spoke multiple times this week. Now it is Sunday night and I have heard nothing from the adorable Mr. Foley, it shouldn't matter. But it does.

Why is it that when these unexplainable events happen that it almost eats away at our insides? Why do we constantly have to over analyze the fact that man just isn't calling? It isn't like this never happens to us; we all know it happens all the time. No matter how gorgeous, or thin, or rich you are, none of us are exempt from men being complete morons and falling off the face of the earth. It happens to the best of us. Even famous actress' go through this kind of bullshit. Don't believe me? When you get a chance, ask one of them.

The time frame of concern varies for all of us, but for me its 3 days. If after 3 days you are some how to busy to call me, than I am pretty sure you're not going to. Why do men wait for so long? Some actually do come back around for whatever reason, in my personal opinion it is because they suddenly realize "I'd really like to get laid soon, maybe I should call that girl I went out with a couple of times already..." I honestly believe that they do forget about us for some reason, or maybe they are just trying to remain aloof and detached. Regardless of the reason when a man doesn't call for more than 3 days in my book they just are not willing to put forth the effort it takes to keep an easily distracted filly such as I. Here is the most ridiculous part of the equation, and the detail I am not proud of admitting, when they don't call, my interest is peaked. I suddenly desire them to call even more than before when they were being good little boys and I thought I had him trapped in my web. Give men credit were credit is due. They know this, and this is why most of them refrain from communication for extended periods of time. I blame the media, back in the day men had no outlet for such knowledge and our secrets were safe.

Now we have chick flicks and women's magazines. The two sexes can be friends, and friends talk. Woman have divulged important secrets to their dotting male friends because we naively believed that we were helping them to make a fellow sister happy, and at the same time helping them to be happy. We all want our friends to be happy. I myself have sought council in a male friend to explain the actions of a potential suitor. Its beneficial, but still makes things messy. Equality be damned, we are not equal, and all is fair in love and war.

So men are now aware of our secrets. When they don't call we pine over them, and actually like them more than when we were talking to them and communication was regular. I know some girls actually do like men before they start this game, I cant count myself among them, for I lie in wait for such incidents to occur. Call me psychic, call me pessimistic, but I know that man wont be calling me anything soon.

They don't loose our numbers, or become insanely busy at work. No body died, and they weren't hit by a bus. Their phones haven't been shut off, nor somehow fell in a lake. With the fact that the current man in question is the manager for Cingular wireless, I know that he couldn't possibly try and blame this on his cell phone, which is where my number resides in the hopes he will some day use it again. This silence is intentional, and not beyond his control. He is either playing a game, or has completely lost interest.

Since I firmly believe in the saying that women are crazy and men are stupid, we tend to believe that the latter is almost defiantly the case. He has lost interest in me. Here come the questions. "What did I do?" "What didn't I do?" "Did he meet some one else prettier or thinner?" ("THAT BITCH!") "Everything was fine and then he just doesn't call?" Let's paint a vivid picture of what is happening on both sides of the fence here.

You, the "uncalled" woman, are standing in line at Starbucks with your two best friends on a break from shopping (which is always the best thing to do in situations like this, we should get discount cards for times like these, lets start a petition) milling over every detail of the events that occurred during your brief beginnings and your two best friends are ever supportive and insist that he will call. Maybe you have friend's who feel as I sometimes do, and tell you that he is just a jerk and you shouldn't waste your time (and mine) talking about him. We are all supportive in our own unique ways. Here is what the "not calling" man is doing: Sitting on the couch watching whatever sport is in season at the time, with some blank expression on his face, and no thoughts whatsoever going on in his head beyond trying to conjure up the energy to get another beer. Woman in their 20's and 30's and 40's go through the same thing over and over again. Are there any women out there who are exempt? Have any some how discovered the secret to maintaining sanity while aimlessly sifting through countless men searching for one who is worth spending more than a night with? I have easily mastered finding a man worthy of an evenings worth of time, and even if he was barely worth that, there is always mass consumption of alcohol. That's easy, coincidently that is also being easy. We are not all created like Samantha Jones from Sex and the City. The rest of the population could never be satisfied with such a lifestyle. (I would bet there are very few woman out there who haven't had a "jonesian" moment locked away in their past some where) For some reason there is just something in a woman's DNA that craves being a couple. We can fight it, we can deny it, but it is what every woman wants. Why? I can't seem to understand. I have asked all of my coupled girlfriends, and receive many of the same answers. Sense of purpose to some one else's life, fear of being alone, a regular sex partner, (okay that was the best reason I could come up with for being in a relationship, so sue me) Apparently this whole relationship thing is important to society. Besides for reason of proper procreation, I can't seem to figure out why. While discussing this point with my girlfriends I have received the same answer over and over again, someday I will.

When it happens I'll let you know, I am sure hallmark made a card for it. I will expect proper correspondence for such a blessed occasion.

Novice writer looking to break into the field, can write about anything! Give me a Topic and a word count and I'll type it up!

In The News:

Relationships Where More Means Less  The Wall Street Journal

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