Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
He?s So Loving (But He Has These Black Moods) > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

He?s So Loving (But He Has These Black Moods)

It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving their partner is. Stranger still is that it usually happens after they have talked about extraordinary threats, behaviour or violence to which he has subjected them.

Obviously, it's a denial mechanism, a way of whitewashing his character.

It's also about the hunger for love - a hunger that becomes greater with every abusive outburst. In part, it's about settling for crumbs ? and being grateful ? because you know that the square meal you need is not on offer. But that's not all it is.

Abusive men are generally most demonstrative after a temper tantrum or violent outburst. Once they've got their fury off their chest, they may feel remorse. Briefly. Or they may just worry that they might have 'blown it' this time. So they pull out the stops, putting on the best display of affection they can. The operative word here is display.

I have a little dog who is very loving. Nobody could ever accuse her of being loyal, but she sure is loving. What does that mean in practice? It means that she makes everyone she meets feel special and welcome in her world. She is a delightfully sunny tempered little creature. Especially those people who are terrified of dogs love her.

They love her because she is gentle, affectionate and safe. (The only savagery she ever exhibits is when she attacks the belt of my dressing gown.)

Now, if she were ever to show aggression and attack people's ankles - she really is small - she would not be a loving little dog who 'has these black moods'. She would be A Vicious Dog. (I pray she never will be.)

Abused women live their lives between a rock and a hard place. They feel they have to believe in their partner, because they no longer believe in themselves.

They end up living in a world turned on its head, where intolerable behaviour is excused by emotional incontinence. In this topsy-turvy world, having a black mood gives the abuser carte blanche to inflict it on those closest to him.

Recovery starts when abused women begin to judge their two-legged partner by the same standards that most rational people apply to their four-legged friends.

(C) 2005 Annie Kaszina

Joyful Coaching

An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie specialises in helping women heal the trauma of the past, so they can enjoy the present and look forward to the future.

Email:annie@joyfulcoaching.com To subscribe to Annie's twice monthly ezine, or order her eBook 'The Woman You Want To Be, go: to http://www.joyfulcoaching.com

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

WRTV Indianapolis

City focused on building stronger relationships
WRTV Indianapolis
LAWRENCE, Ind. -- As the city of Lawrence continues to grow, so does the Hispanic population living in the area. Now, a new crime prevention director is pushing to build stronger relationships and trust between the Latino community and the Lawrence ...


11Alive.com WXIA

Relationships between teachers, students do happen often - but there's no way to know exact number
11Alive.com WXIA
DEKALB COUNTY, Ga. — If it seems as if you're hearing more about teachers having inappropriate relationships with students, the reality may match that perception. Zachary Meadors disappeared over the weekend of Oct. 13, right after he left letters and ...

and more »

Psychology Today (blog)

The Role of Relationships in the Aftermath of a Hurricane
Psychology Today (blog)
It's been a year since Hurricanes Harvey and Maria left widespread devastation in Texas and Puerto Rico. In the past two months, Hurricanes Florence and Michael have caused catastrophic damage to the Carolinas, Georgia, and the Florida panhandle.


CU Boulder Today

Is substance use affecting your relationships?
CU Boulder Today
Making connections with others is an important part of the university experience. Drinking alcohol or using other drugs are sometimes seen as a vehicle for socializing*. It's helpful to consider how these might impact the relationships you want to have.


Client-agency relationships are 'like marriage'
Warc
Lakish Hatalkar, managing director of One Johnson & Johnson, and John Bailey, president director of DDB Indonesia, told the recent Spikes Asia conference in Singapore that an enduring client-agency relationship requires give and take from both parties.


VICE

'The Oath' Captures How Politics Is Ruining Our Relationships
VICE
Ike Barinholtz came up with the idea for his movie The Oath, which he wrote, directed, and stars in, after a heated debate at his family's Thanksgiving dinner in 2016, shortly after Donald Trump had surprised everyone by winning the election. "We were ...

and more »

Madison.com

Better relationships should improve play this season, Badgers men's basketball players say
Madison.com
When sophomore guard Brad Davison was asked Wednesday during UW's media day for differences between the 2018-19 Badgers and the outfit that finished 15-18 last season, he listed “relationships” as his first choice. “We're a much closer team,” Davison ...


PsychCentral.com (blog)

Relationships In Recovery: Just a Romantic Distraction?
PsychCentral.com (blog)
So many people rush into relationships in early recovery. This may be related to neurochemistry: we're suddenly deprived of the substances that made us feel good and we need to find a substitute. I've spent the last six and a half years of recovery ...


The Guardian

Norway apologises to women punished for relationships with German soldiers
The Guardian
Norway's government has officially apologised to Norwegian women targeted for reprisals by the authorities for having relationships with members of the German occupying forces during the second world war. Between 30,000 to 50,000 Norwegians, labelled ...
Norway apologises to its World War Two 'German girls'BBC News
Norway Apologizes To Women Who Faced Reprisals For Wartime Relations With NazisNPR
Norway apologises to its World War Two 'German girls'BBC News
The New York Times -Women in the World
all 53 news articles »

UI The Daily Iowan

New play about relationships focuses on bisexuality, environmental issues
UI The Daily Iowan
He took an interest with one decoy and remained by its side, building it a nest and pursuing this extremely one-sided relationship until he died. Peterson was inspired by the article and wrote the play Love Bird, which will open at 8 p.m. today in ...

Google News

Relationship Advice: 7 Strategies for a Great Relationship

1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to... Read More

Relationship Advice: Wash that (Bad) Man Out of Your Hair

Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims... Read More

True Friendships - How to Get True Friends and Friendships

True Friendship - RecognitionHow can we find true friendships in... Read More

Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy

Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite... Read More

How To Write a Romantic Love Letter

Does the thought of writing a love letter or poem... Read More

Single in a Couples World

Advertising for St. Valentine's Day seemed more relentless than ever... Read More

Does Age Matter?

In the Asian online dating world it is not uncommon... Read More

You Have to Read Heartbreak Rescue Just For You

"The truth that makes men free is for the most... Read More

Relationship Tune Up - 7 Key Points to Avoid a Break Up or Break Down

"Every three months or 3,000 miles."That's how the sticker in... Read More

Sound Seduction Advice for Dating and Romance Success

BackgroundSeduction is a subtle tool used with the ultimate goal... Read More

Telling the Hard Truth

Watching television's "sitcom's", I can't help but notice that most... Read More

What Does It Really Mean When You Pass or Fail A Relationship Quiz?

Q. It seems that no matter what magazine I am... Read More

Friendship Advice for a Shrinking Planet

Ahh, friends. The people we pick up along the proverbial... Read More

How Often do you Think About What you are Going to Say?

How often do you think about what you are going... Read More

Relationship Conflict: 5 Deadly Mistakes and What to Do Instead

While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More

How to Find Relationship Advice

One thing to keep in mind when seeking relationship advice... Read More

3 Principals That Will Keep a Long Lasting Relationship

Many of us have had a broken heart and hurt... Read More

What?s Special About Abused Women?

Before writing this article, I stopped and thought hard. By... Read More

Are You Living An Illusion Romance Like Lisa Snowdon and George Clooney?

My Dear Lover,Today I am sad, I don't have good... Read More

Married and ECheating ? A Dreadful Alliance!

In Homer's Odyssey (a Greek Myth) sailors were lured to... Read More

How Valentine?s Day Gifts Can Expose a Cheating Husband

If you have the nagging feeling that your husband may... Read More

10 Fast Ways to Re-ignite the Flames of Love

Enhance Romance today.When Men and Women enter into a relationship,... Read More

Are You Paralysed By The Fear Of Future Regrets?

Edith Piaf remains an icon and her best loved song,... Read More

Global Conflict and Inter-Religious Dialogue: The Importance of Understanding Others

As is learned in the study of Comparative Religion, the... Read More

Love and Life Lessons

Recent events in my life have taught me that the... Read More