Jinxed Relationships -- Are Yours?

Do you consider yourself unlucky in love? Have your relationships all been ending on a sad note lately? Perhaps you've come to the conclusion that you are jinxed! Before you give up on love, or decide that it never existed in the first place, please join me; let's take a look at loving from a different perspective.

Experts at the game of life and loving tell us that there are four important laws that we must know, and use to our advantage. They have been found to be the basis of all human success. These laws are:

The Law of Sowing and Reaping (or Cause and Effect): You get from a relationship what you put into it. If you consider it not worth sowing into, perhaps you had better get out of it; you will not reap much where you do not sow. The Golden rule applies here too. If people worked as hard at their relationships as they do at their careers and businesses we would all be much happier in love! Imagine all the workshops and courses, the goal-setting sessions, the coaches and consultants we employ in the workplace. Could a therapist, a book, a retreat or a heart-to-heart talk take the "jinx" off your relationship?

The Law of Belief:

Whatever you believe becomes your reality. Human beings tend to see what they believe, not the other way round. What kind of thoughts and beliefs do you have concerning your relationship, your partner, or members of the opposite sex in general?

For instance, a man who believes that women are inferior is going to treat all his female partners that way. This certainly will not make for a rosy relationship. A woman who is "out to get" all men because of the poor relationship she had with her step-father will definitely start (and end) her relationships on a wrong footing. Do the results you are getting in your relationships indicate the presence of destructive thinking?

The Law of Expectation:

You get what you expect. Expect good in your relationships, and that's what you'll get. Expect all women to behave like your step-mother, or all men to be "after only one thing," and you increase the chances of meeting partners that conform to these patterns. Expectations are like self-fulfilling prophecies. What have you been expecting in your relationships? Does it bear an uncanny resemblance to what you've been getting?

The Law of Attraction:

You attract what you've got with your thoughts, actions and inactions. Most people don't like to hear this. They swear it is someone else's fault whenever things go wrong. But whether you like to hear it or not, you have attracted to yourself the kind of mate that you have because of the way you think. Psychologists tell us that muggers most likely pick vulnerable-looking people as victims, avoiding bolder types.

Vulnerability attracts them. Women with low-self-esteem often unknowingly attract abusive men. They believe they have to put up with the abuse, or they somehow deserve it. On the other hand, women with higher-self esteem would not tolerate abuse. They believe they deserve better treatment, they demand it, and they often get better it. In relationships, becoming more, in terms of self-esteem and bringing more value to the relationship, usually engenders getting more. Do you enter relationships with the heart to give, or the mind to get? Could this be determining the results you are receiving?

Being jinxed, or unlucky, implies that bad things keep happening to you through no fault of yours. Is what happens in a relationship truly no one's fault, especially if it's a repeated pattern? I believe you can greatly improve the quality of your relationships if you will sow what you'd like to reap, be objective in your beliefs, expect the best of your partner and relationship and build value into yourself, so that you attract value. Of course, if you do not value your relationship this much, or do not think your partner is worth it, that's a sign that you might be with the wrong person.

There is no mystery about getting along well with your partner, and having a worthwhile relationship. If you will both commit to these four laws of life and loving you can at least have fun while you're together. And at best you can have the kind of relationship you desire. Are your relationships jinxed? I think not; you might just have a lot of new learning to do!

Copyright 2005 Oma Edoja

This article may be reproduced only as is, with author's resource box attached.

Oma Edoja is a writer, motivational speaker and infopreneur. Please drop by at her web log http://omaslounge.blogspot.com for more inspirational readings.

In The News:

The Key to Relationships  Psychology Today
How to Have a Relationship and a Career  Harvard Business Review
Relationships drive real estate deals  Pacific Business News (Honolulu)
Is Lack of Gratitude Dragging Down Your Relationship?  Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley

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