Hold Em or Fold Em?

Like a great game of poker, knowing when to "Hold Em" and when to "Fold Em" is a great phenomenon to some of us. Our lives and loves are much like a game of poker, you start out with a full pot and slowly over time the rewards either multiply or diminish. The choice to "Hold Em" or "Fold Em" is a choice that cannot be made without analyzing the long term effects.

Granted, love is not a game of poker, but relationships, like any game of chance is a risk, if you don't initially take the risk/chance you will have missed out on some of the greatest feelings and experiences of your life. The course of a relationship is pretty standard to everyone; when you first meet, you experience the euphoria and the excitement of the unknown, moving into the friendship mode discovering this persons inner being and everything that made them who they are today. Onward we move to the intimate realm of our being, sharing everything about and of ourselves. Exposing our fantasies and deepest desires leaving our hearts totally vulnerable. This exposure is not without its rewards, it draws us closer together and reveals great insight into life with this person. However, we must be acutely aware of this persons ideals and goals in life and how they relate to our own. What are you willing to compromise, forfeit or share to create a loving lasting relationship? Things to think about??.

Like a high stakes poker game, you have a lot to lose, maybe not materially, but emotionally there is a great price to pay if you lose the game. Knowing how to spot the obvious and take action will protect your heart. Granted, we never want to admit or believe that someone could love us today and not want to be with us anymore tomorrow, but it happens everyday all over the world to millions of people. Keep your eyes open, are they spending less time with you, are the calls less frequent, do they seem too busy do something else all the time, have the emails stopped, spending more time with their friends than you. These are signs ?..read them! There could be an explanation for their behavior, don't jump to conclusions, take the time to talk to them, find out what they are thinking, feeling and discern if it is time to "Hold Em" or "Fold Em". If it is time to "fold", do it with dignity.

To you men, stand up, be a respectable man and tells us what is wrong and can or can it not be fixed, don't clam up on us, we as women need an explanation, some sort of reasoning for what happened to let go and move on. Women, crying will make you feel better, but doubtful that it will change how anyone feels at the moment and most of all do not call them constantly begging them to come back. As cliché' as it sounds "If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it is yours forever". Be honest about what went wrong and why you feel the need to break away. A great as it may seem, whatever mistakes the other person made with you cannot and will not be realized or corrected if they are unaware of their actions.

Myself, I have a very strong personality and tend to be somewhat "bossy" and over bearing at times, and had I not been told that I would have continued to sabotage every relationship by trying to control everything about it. I now know that I have to share that control and allow the man to be the man, we are sharing a life together and to survive in a relationship one has to let go of "I, my, me, mine" and look at things from a "us, we, our, both" perspective.

On the flip side, things happen that are sometimes beyond one's control that takes them away from you, again discussion is the key. In such case, any problems or feelings can be clarified and you can resolve any impending issues. Knowing that whatever occurred can be resolved amicably between both parties, and the willingness to forgive and work towards talking more and being more open tells you to "Hold Em".

No amount of words will give you the insight to make the decision to "Hold Em" or "Fold Em", that choice is made by knowing what you want out of life and your relationships. No one can answer those questions for you, it is up to you to look inside the box as well as outside the box and choose whichever is best for you and your future. Never ever, walk away before giving a relationship a chance, regret is the worst of all emotions, resolve to live your life in the "I Have, I Did, I Will" mode and not the "Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda" , your life will be much richer and fulfilling in the end.

Deal the Cards... let them fall as they may.

Linda Reeves is a 47 year old advice columnist who writes for Cupids Blackbook. She Lives in the American midwest.

In The News:


Psychology Today (blog)

Three Relationship Compromises You Should Never Make
Psychology Today (blog)
All long-term relationships involve compromise. Merging two lives together, resolving big problems, and dealing with smaller ones such as, what to do on your vacation, which toothpaste to buy, and whether the dishwasher should be loaded this way or ...

and more »

HuffPost

8 Habits Of Couples In Sexually Satisfying Relationships
HuffPost
“Couples in sexually satisfying relationships know how to communicate turn-ons and turn-offs, what feels good, what doesn't, when they're in the mood, when they're not, and all in a way that's constructive, positive, safe, secure and without fear of ...


Corsicana Daily Sun

Texas cracking down on teacher-student relationships
Corsicana Daily Sun
The number of educators investigated for having an inappropriate relationship with a student has increased in Texas over the last couple of years. When legislators met earlier this year, they passed a bill with hopes it will crack down on those ...


The Business Journals

How to harness the power of personal relationships
The Business Journals
I had an opportunity recently to sit with about a half-dozen business owners. The conversations covered a variety of topics, but the predominant conversation was all about the power of relationships and building a web of interconnected relationships.


Big Think

How Hope and Optimism Affects Romantic Relationships
Big Think
What role do hope and optimism play in romantic relationships? What happens when hope fluctuates or when one partner is more optimistic than the other? The work of Eshkol Rafaeli, the professor of psychology at Bar-Ilan University, looks deeper at how ...


Prothom Alo (English)

Good relationships boost your career!
Prothom Alo (English)
Sharing a good relationship with friends and family can boost confidence and keep you motivated to achieve greater personal goals, suggests new research. The findings support the “I-through-We” perspective, which means the social tendency to connect ...

and more »

Chief Executive Group

Nebraska Gov. Pete Ricketts Says Economic Development Starts With Relationships
Chief Executive Group
Ricketts says economic development starts with leaders taking an active role in cultivating relationships. He has led numerous trade missions to China, the E.U. and Canada. He recently returned from a trade mission to Japan to further Kawasaki and ...

and more »

Post-Bulletin

Entrepreneur: Sports Zone values 'the relationships that you can build with customers'
Post-Bulletin
One of the best things about owning a business is the relationships that you can build with customers and how you can meet all different kinds of people and collectors. • What is the hardest thing about owning a business? The hardest thing about a ...


Coventry Telegraph

What is the Strictly Come Dancing curse? The affairs and broken relationships listed
Coventry Telegraph
It's a full-on, intense show that puts strains on people's relationships. They don't understand what it's like until it's a couple of weeks in and it's too late.” Let's take a look back at romances that grabbed the headlines over the years - and some ...

and more »

Campaigns & Elections

Building 1-to-1 Supporter Relationships with AI
Campaigns & Elections
Now, winning the most challenging districts during the 2018 and 2020 cycles will require a hybrid model that focuses on building 1-to-1 personal relationships with voters at scale. While that may seem contradictory, the evolution and incorporation of ...

Google News

Passions Search for Destiny

She was haunted by a man whom she had never... Read More

Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Survive a Break Up

Break ups are never easy. You are a bundle of... Read More

Victorias Secret Disclosed!

SHHHHHH, don't tell anybody, but, I know the secret.It all... Read More

Want To Strengthen Your Relationship

Open your mouth. What do I mean? Talk ? say... Read More

Getting an Exciting Life After a Break Up

Breaking up.The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected.... Read More

Guys Guide To Flowers

We are here to help! With these helpful hints on... Read More

And They Didnt Even Know I was Looking: Lessons on Love from My Parents

I came from good people. I didn't always know that.You... Read More

Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing / Minimum Time

If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a... Read More

Name That Tune

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 26,... Read More

Do You Love Reading The Daily Horoscopes, Part I

Have you ever wondered why you feel an instant attraction... Read More

Love - Entrepreneur Style

For many of us, love has become a distant ideal.... Read More

True Friendships - How to Get True Friends and Friendships

True Friendship - RecognitionHow can we find true friendships in... Read More

Dont Avoid Conflict and Confrontation with Your Spouse

"I just let him handle things his way." "We're not... Read More

Great Relationships: 4 Big Relationship Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Relationship Mistake No. 1 - Partner BashingBashing the one you... Read More

7 Unfailing Laws of Happy Relationships

Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When... Read More

Relationship Advice: 6 Secrets for Great Relationships

The Law of ContentYou can get into trouble in a... Read More

Why He May Be Cheating On You

Why He May Be Cheating On YouThere could be all... Read More

10 Things You Probably Didnt Know About Signs of Infidelity

Certain things about signs of infidelity come as a surprise... Read More

Picking Up The Pieces

"My feelings have changed," my boyfriend of five years told... Read More

Eight Ways to be a Better Friend

Being a good friend is a skill we can learn... Read More

Why Anger is Essential to Healthy Relationships

Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger.... Read More

He Said, She Said

The Relationship TriangleMost people get involved in a relationship for... Read More

Improve Your Relationship by Taking Care of Yourself First

It's important for you to take care of yourself before... Read More

Romantic Relationships: An Internal Process

If you grew up in the 80s like I did,... Read More

What Does It Really Mean When You Pass or Fail A Relationship Quiz?

Q. It seems that no matter what magazine I am... Read More