Pen Pal Romance

We have all heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen pals that wrote to each other for years without meeting because they lived hundreds or even thousands of miles apart. Some friend of a friend set them up as pen pals or she decided to write to some unknown soldier away at war. They exchanged a few pictures and spent countless hours drafting letters back and forth, baring their hearts and souls to each other. Without ever dating, they fell in love. When one could eventually travel across the distance to finally meet the other, they both knew immediately that this was indeed the one they'd spend the rest of their life with. The physical attraction was every bit as strong as the emotional attraction they had felt for each other. It's a classic story that's existed as long as there's been a postal system for delivering the letters between would be lovers.

Today we have an Internet version of the same thing. People go to these dating sites to find love. It seemed a bit weird at first like most things that are new and different, but eventually we became used to the idea. Is it really any different than meeting in any other manner? You still have to weed through the riffraff. You still have people presenting themselves as something other than what they really are. You still have crooks and cheats, predators. And you still have honest real folks looking for true love. You still have single parents worried that people won't accept their kids as part of a package deal. You still have married folks looking for a way to cheat on their partners. The only real difference is how fast the system works. You can weed through a heck of a lot of less than desirable matches really fast and you don't even have to waste time or money on dinner and movies, or on babysitters and a new dress.

It's my hope that you would take your time with the ones who do seem promising. When you find a profile that seems interesting, don't rush through the process. Sure, a lot of people say that the eyes are the windows to the soul and that you need to meet in person to get a real feel for each other. And there is a lot of truth to that. Ultimately you do have to meet in person to determine if there's any type of chemistry between you or not. It's not something that can be logically determined You feel it or you don't and you won't know until you meet them face to face. But what about those old pen pal stories? They fell in love without it being about sexual attraction. When we meet face to face with someone that we are physically attracted to, it's human nature to want to speed up the process so that we can get to the really good stuff! I'm thinking that if we took more time in the passing notes back and forth portion before actually meeting face to face, then we'd be more inclined to fall for the person inside rather than for the physical beauty that can be so blinding to the truth about people. We all know someone who's been completely consumed by a hot passionate attraction for someone who was so incredibly wrong for them. It takes forever for them to open their eyes and see the sexy person for what they really are. Please don't think that I'm saying that all good looking people are bad relationships waiting to happen. I just don't want you to confuse sexual attraction with real intimacy.

If you're just looking to get laid, then by all means disregard this article! It's not written for you. If you're looking to find that once in a lifetime incredible love, then why not take the extra time to do it right? Why not agree to write emails back and forth for a while before meeting in person? Chances are you've already seen their picture on the matchmaker's web site. Make up fun questionnaires for each other to fill out. Ask them all sorts of interesting questions about themselves like 'if you could invite four people to dinner regardless of what time in history they lived or died, who would it be and why?' Ask them what their number one biggest regret is in life. Ask them what their number one most embarrassing moment in life is. Ask them what their number one best shining moment was. Ask them if they felt loved as a child. Ask them if they have felt loved as an adult. What is their next wild adventure in life going to be? Have fun really getting to know each other before you meet in person. Have a real bond based on more than the fact that you both like moonlit walks on the beach and want to someday have children. When you do finally meet, you won't suffer those uncomfortable silences either, you'll have shared laughs and have plenty to talk about. You'll already be real friends.

So many people put in their profiles that they only want to meet people that are close to home, 50 miles, 100 miles, etc. Why not reach out across the globe. Why not find new pen pals to write to? Even if you never fall in love, you've gained a new friend and the experience of feeling connected to others. Who knows maybe your soulmate is just across the ocean. Perhaps they're waiting for a note from you in their inbox. Perhaps you'll become one of those wonderful love stories worth telling your grandchildren about. "Yep, your grandmother and I wrote back and forth for a year before I finally saved up enough money to fly over and meet her. And let me tell you, the first time I laid eyes on her I knew that she was the only one for me. She was well worth the wait!"

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.

[email protected]

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

Forbes

How To Overcome The Three Challenges Of Maintaining Professional Relationships
Forbes
With refined communication skills at the ready and a host of networking opportunities marked on your calendar, you're well on your way to building the strong relationships you need to succeed in your career. But simply making connections just isn't ...


The A.V. Club

Outlander nails relationships, even when they go wrong
The A.V. Club
“The False Bride” finally brings back Roger and Brianna's storyline in 1970s America to widen the universe of Outlander's fourth season. It's also technically a mythology episode, building on some of what was already hinted at in terms of a slightly ...
Outlander – TV InsiderTV Insider
Caitriona Balfe – TV InsiderTV Insider
Maria Doyle Kennedy – TV InsiderTV Insider
TV Insider -TV Insider
all 78 news articles »

Psychology Today (blog)

To Understand Your Relationships, Try Understanding Yourself
Psychology Today (blog)
Relationships involve a constant give-and-take between the desires of each partner for both self-expression and intimacy. According to a recent paper by University of California Davis psychologist Christopher Hopwood and Michigan State University's ...


CU Columbia Spectator

Senate quietly changed policy on faculty-student relationships, removing certain student protections
CU Columbia Spectator
The University Senate saw a tense debate a over post-vote revision to a policy prohibiting romantic and sexual relationships between undergraduate students and faculty members at its monthly plenary on Friday. The change—made over the summer without ...


NME.com

The 1975 – 'A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships' review
NME.com
And this third album doesn't just tell the story of Matty's maturation as promised, it touches on modern politics, our relationship with technology and the entire Millennial experience, too. In doing so, it alights on bubblegum pop ...


Forbes

What To Do When Workplace Relationships Turn Toxic
Forbes
Almost every one of us has been stuck in a toxic team environment. Most of us feel a little helpless and panicky when a working relationship goes sour. Every day that you have to face a negative situation at work feels like torture. Even with the ...


The Florida Times-Union

Live for Life: Marriage enrichment nonprofit helps save relationships, reduce Duval divorce rate
The Florida Times-Union
April and Tad O'Brien connected online in June 2012 and met in person a month later at a Jacksonville Sharks game, breaking the ice by following the theme of the night and dressing up in '70s garb. They were both divorced with children, had careers and ...

and more »

Elite Daily

This Is What Texting Looks Like In Toxic Relationships, Experts Say
Elite Daily
If you've ever been in a truly toxic relationship, you know that the first sign is enough. While you may have ignored the red flags in the past — no judgment, been there myself — you realize that most toxic relationships manifest themselves in lots ...


The Sydney Morning Herald

'Life-changing': New measures to help women leaving abusive relationships
The Sydney Morning Herald
Women leaving abusive relationships will be able to access their superannuation early as part of a suite of Coalition government measures aimed at helping women improve their financial security. The Minister for Women, Kelly O'Dwyer, will also on ...

and more »

mindbodygreen.com

The Holidays Can Be A War Zone For Relationships. Here's How To Come Out Stronger As A Couple
mindbodygreen.com
'Tis the season to be jolly…or heartbroken. Divorce lawyers actually get very busy in January. Facebook sees a disproportionate amount of relationship status changes around the holidays, and Match.com says 76 percent of their singles indicate their ...

Google News

If You Cannot Make Friends, Make Foes

There are few desires (if any) stronger than the deep... Read More

Holy Mantrimony

In the last couple of weeks, the catholic war machine... Read More

To Cheat or Not To Cheat

You know I am getting fed up with people who... Read More

The Secret Power of Romance and How It Can Work for You

There are some men who will never understand the importance... Read More

Relationship Advice: How to Make a Genuine Apology

A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment,... Read More

Relationship Advice: Starter Marriages

A man walking through the woods near a river hears... Read More

Why You Should Be Happy You Caught Your Partner Cheating

The dictionary defines infidelity as "unfaithfulness to a sexual partner".... Read More

Taking the True Relationship Test

If you have ever read teen magazines you will be... Read More

Lifelong Partners, Lifelong Growth

Many people, maybe even you, think there is only one... Read More

Healing The Mid-Life Love Crisis

All I wanted was to fall in love and live... Read More

Will They or Will They Not Cheat?

Have you ever told your partner or spouse how you... Read More

Can You Become A Better Friend After Taking A Friendship Quiz?

Q. Does a friendship quiz really work?A. That depends upon... Read More

How to Use Humor to Improve Your Relationships

Humor has long been considered one of the most effective... Read More

Conflicts Dont Have to Mean a Fight to the Death

Although conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret... Read More

Hold Em or Fold Em?

Like a great game of poker, knowing when to "Hold... Read More

What?s Special About Abused Women?

Before writing this article, I stopped and thought hard. By... Read More

Should You Forgive Infidelity?

If you're asking yourself that question, then somewhere within you... Read More

Dont Avoid Conflict and Confrontation with Your Spouse

"I just let him handle things his way." "We're not... Read More

Reading Each Others Mind

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard... Read More

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 4

Finally, after all of the hard work you have done... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Start That Conversation

Annie waited too long to have that talk with her... Read More

Nip Verbal Abuse in the Bud

So often in a new relationship we learn the dynamic... Read More

Relationship Your Way To A Successful and Fulfilling Life

What is a relationship? What does a relationship mean? There... Read More

Ten Tips to Play Together, and Stay Together: Lessons from the Teepee Turn-around

There is an old expression, which may sound trite, but... Read More

The 100 Laws

In any group of abused women there's almost always at... Read More