How to Tell If Your Boyfriend or Husband Is Cheating On You

The word infidelity brings with it fear to every woman I've ever had the opportunity to speak with. While many make the claim that their spouse would never cheat on them they realize that is false hope and that it could very well happen to them.

When trying to decide if your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you, you should start by looking for some of the warning signs.

  • Lower desire to be with you sexually.
  • Suddenly tries new sexual positions.
  • Working late more often.
  • Mysterious phone calls.
  • Gets angry when you look at the cell phone, pager, or computer. Is secretive of such.
  • Smell of perfume on their clothing.
  • Takes a shower as soon as he comes home.
  • You find hairs or other objects on his body or in his possessions.
  • Starts taking more care with his appearance.
  • Accuses you of cheating.
  • He changes his normal routine without cause or reason.
  • Now it's really easy to look at a list like this and see something that your husband does. That's why it's important to remember that you are looking for changes in his behavior. If you husband normally takes a shower as soon as he gets home from work then it is unlikely that this is a sign of his cheating. You are looking for multiple changes in behavior, routine, or personality; not isolated incidences or incidences that do not last. Take for example the lower desire to be with you sexually. This would be common when your husband is sick or under pressure at work. This alone should not raise any red flags. However, if you notice this and then a week later he comes home smelling of perfume, this is cause for alarm.

    There are many people out there claiming to be experts who will tell you that you should confront your husband when you become suspicious but, that is on of the worst things you can do. I've even read that you should confront because the longer you wait the better they become at lying to you. I believe these people have never been in your position. To confront without some sort of evidence will only lead to more lies. Do not be fooled, your boyfriend or husband has been lying to you for quite some time and is really good at it.

    If you confront without evidence you will be lied to. They will even lie when you have the evidence. Without evidence you will be left with more doubts than when you started and you will feel as if you are crazy. Your husband will spin it and make it seem as though he just can't believe that you would think such a thing about him. Also, you can bet your last dollar that he will become much more careful of his actions and behaviors and you may never find the truth. Also consider the possibility that your suspicions are unfounded. What will happen to your relationship if you confront then? You valued your relationship so little that you jumped to conclusions and accused your husband of cheating without any proof!

    Remember to always verify before you confront.

    Brandi Simon is the owner of where she offers articles and information for those suffering the effects of an extramarital affair and other relationship issues. Brandi is an affair survivor who has successfully rebuilt her marriage from the ashes and offers advice to those who are recovering. To learn more about the website or Brandi, please visit

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