For Better Or Worse

For Better or Worse

I was in the middle of a conversation the other evening with a friend of mine, and her better half. The conversation was about the kids. She has kids, he has kids. The conversation was going fairly well, problem was being worked out until, they started complaining about each others kids. Now everyone thinks their kids are perfect, they are angels, they are apart of us, so how could they not be, right?

This couple has been married before, the my kids are better than yours argument broke out. I sat back and listened, now most people would excuse themselves and leave, but not me It isn't like I want to listen, and get a kick out of people having trouble, because I don't like it, especially when it is two people I really care about. I just wanted to see if it worked itself out, and when they asked me for advice (because they always do) I had all the right information and knew both sides.

Mixing families is a very hard thing to do. I came from a family with half sisters and step siblings, and it was difficult for my mom and dad and for the man she is married to now. You take one family who already has set down rules and they have discussed the things which are expected and then you take the other family with their own rules and expectations. It is a difficult thing to try to blend together. The kids end up not knowing what to do, who is in charge, what rules count, their world is turned upside down, then the parents are stepping on each others toes trying to decide what to do.Everyone becomes divided, noone is happy and sides begin to form.

I suggest to anyone thinking of bringing two families together like that, to sit down with everyone, kids and all. If you don't do this first I think you are asking for trouble. We all have fears, we all need support and reassurance that it is going to be okay, that everything will work out, it may be hard at times but it will be worked out as a family. The couple, my friend and her partner worked this situation out, they did do the family discussion to begin with, now if there is a problem , they first work it out between themselves and then bring the kids in to have their say.

I am a firm believer in communication, if there isn't, then it will not work. Counseling can help for anyone who is already in that rut, with the mixing of families. But the key is open communication. Good luck and God bless..

Vaughn Pascal

For God and Country

To God and Jesus; Thank you. To Bub and Doc; I love you.

In The News:

The Key to Relationships  Psychology Today
Is Lack of Gratitude Dragging Down Your Relationship?  Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
How to Have a Relationship and a Career  Harvard Business Review
Identifying Toxic Relationships  The Stroud Courier

8 Ways to Improve Your Long Distance Relationship

Couples in love may often find themselves having to live... Read More

Affairs: Advice for the One Who Strayed

To the spouse who had the affair, it's time for... Read More

Bedroom Treason

Just a note to ask if there are other married... Read More

Mairi

Mairi came into my life about two years ago. She... Read More

60 Words and Phrases that Make Men Fall Deeper in Love

The interesting thing about getting the love you deserve is... Read More

king Your Relationship Pattern, Part 3

Do you want to put to rest the people and... Read More

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 2

The first step toward being able to attract and create... Read More

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 4

Finally, after all of the hard work you have done... Read More

Choosing a Diamond Engangement Ring That She Can?t Say No To!

So you've decided to propose ? congratulations! This is a... Read More

Like Father

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5,... Read More

Apologizing When We Hurt Our Friends or Partners

In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt... Read More

How to Increase Romance with Humor

Ask any single adult what qualities he or she wants... Read More

Only You Can Decide If Your Interracial Love Will Stand the Test of Time

Interracial dating has really evolved over the past two decades... Read More

Relationship Tips: 16 Practical Dramatic Ways to Know if He/She is REALLY Changing

Every relationship hits a snag, or worse, a major crisis... Read More

A Friend in Need

Here's the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent money to... Read More

Whos Watching You? Men Arent The Only Stalkers

For decades, the label "stalker' has been tattooed as a... Read More

Did He Think of Me?

As a betrayed partner this was one of the first... Read More

How To Support Friends and Loved Ones Through an Abusive Relationship

This is a question that comes up a lot. It's... Read More

Lobster - The Food Of Romantics

Summer has arrived! Woo-Hoo! Do you know what always comes... Read More

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 1

When you were little, you looked up to your parents.... Read More

The Male Rating System

While not necessarily New Age in nature, Samantha has noticed... Read More

Sacred Relationships: Divine Source

Questions and Answers from Divine Source Through Barbara Rose1. What... Read More

Buying A Diamond For Your Special Person?

The first thing you want to consider when buying a... Read More

Conflict In Faith

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 19,... Read More

True Love - Part 2

Okay, so why would one person feel strongly about the... Read More