Live Like You Were Dying: Help for Overcoming an Affair

In the recovery phase of my husbands last affair I was having a really difficult time letting go of the pain and offering forgiveness to my husband.

I was doing a lot of work on "me", attempting to better myself so that I could get my self-worth back but none of that mattered when the triggers surfaced.

Then I started hearing this song by Country Artist Tim McGraw, "Live Like You Were Dying". Each and every time I hear this song it causes me to reflect on my life. I think of all the things I'd like to do in my lifetime and all the things that I take for granted. This particular song brings both joy and sorrow at the same time.

As I reflected on my life and the way things were going I came to realize that my husband could be taken from me, or I from him, at any time. Did I really want our last memories of each other to be clouded by his past infidelities? The answer to that question was a resounding no!

I soon realized that by refusing to forgive and to let go of the pain that I was hurting so many more people than me. My immediate family was suffering just as much as I was. Everyone around me was suffering because of my inability to let go of the hurts. I was finally able to see that my actions were just as selfish as his.

Once I truly understood what my refusal to forgive could mean to my family it became much easier to let go of the pain and push the triggers aside. As time went on I was able to remember without crying and getting angry. It's a part of my life and I can't change it. It's something that my husband did to me that can't be changed. What was changed is how we related to each other and how we handled the hurts we inflict on each other.

I was also reminded that God always shows us the way. He spoke to me through a country song and reminded me that life is short and we never know when our time will end.

If you're withholding forgiveness and holding your pain close to your heart it's time to let go because love can't go where there is no room. Live your life like today is your last ? live like you were dying.

Brandi Simon is the owner of InjuredHearts.com where she offers articles and information for those suffering the effects of an extramarital affair and other relationship issues. Brandi is an affair survivor who has successfully rebuilt her marriage from the ashes and offers advice to those who are recovering. To learn more about the website or Brandi, please visit http://www.injuredhearts.com

In The News:

Relationship resolutions every couple should make  cosmopolitan.com (UK)These relationship resolutions are vital for a truly healthy partnership. A relationship counsellor from Relate explains how to make your relationship even better.
Strengthen relationships in 2019 with free online workshops  UNCG NowA new year is a great time for a *fresh* start in relationships. Maybe you need help understanding boundaries with friendships, a roommate, or at work; maybe ...
Jada Pinkett Smith says her relationships with white men haven't worked because they have 'no idea what oppression is'  INSIDERJada Pinkett Smith opened up about dating white men and the reason why those relationships didn't last. During the latest episode of her Facebook Watch ...
UMSU renews calls for policy on intimate relationships between faculty members and students  CTV NewsThe University of Manitoba Students' Union is renewing calls for a policy prohibiting intimate relationships between students and faculty members.
More than two million adults in relationships have moved back in with their parents, research finds  iNewsMore than one in 10 couples are back living with parents due to financial struggles, according to research by Churchill home insurance.
Strengthen Your Agency With Stronger Freelancer Relationships  Business 2 CommunityAre you making the most of your agency's freelancer relationships? Always be recruiting, to build a “stable” of freelancers—but don't be so focused on recruiting ...
Seen at GCC summit: rare insight into inter-Gulf relationships  The NationalThe GCC summit in Riyadh was notable for the opportunity of a rare glimpse into the personal relations between its leaders at what was otherwise a low-key ...
University of Michigan expected to update policy to ban faculty-student relationships  Detroit Free PressANN ARBOR, Mich. — The University of Michigan's updated sexual misconduct policy is expected to include a ban on faculty members from having romantic or ...
Relationships help Arkansas land Myron Cunningham over OU  Arkansas Democrat-GazetteIt came down to Arkansas and Oklahoma for highly recruited junior college offensive lineman Myron Cunningham, and his comfort level with the Hogs led him to ...
Why do we stay in bad relationships?  MetroLife is short – way too short to stay in a bad relationship which isn't making you happy. And yet so many of us find it impossible to make the break, even when we ...
The power of positive relationships  The New TimesIt's important to know how a student relates or socialises with friends of the same age. Net photo. Twitter · Facebook · Email · Whatsapp · linkedin · Google+.
Mayor, city council members hold retreat to improve relationships  FOX10 NewsIn just four days, a Mobile judge will hear arguments in a lawsuit filed by Mayor Sandy Stimpson against the Mobile City Council.
Don't Kill Business Banking Relationships With Digital  The Financial BrandDigital transformation may be all the rage in the retail banking world. But businesses say live bankers are still a key part of the *service*. In their attempts to ...
School resource officers find relationships are the best defense  Daily CommercialTAVARES — Eustis High students, parents and teachers heaved a collective sigh of relief Monday when a sheriff's deputy stopped a woman with a gun who had ...
Why do we stay in unhappy relationships? Research offers answers  Medical XpressWhy do we remain in romantic relationships that leave us unhappy and unfulfilled? The answer in two new studies co-authored by a University of Toronto ...
UM seeks to ban faculty-student relationships | 2018-12-11 | Grand Rapids Business Journal  grbj.comANN ARBOR — The University of Michigan's updated sexual misconduct policy is expected to include a ban on faculty members from having romantic or sexual ...
4 Reasons Why Appearance Matters in Relationships  PsychCentral.comNo one wants to be judged solely by the way they look, nor should they. Attractiveness is defined by many things that go beyond the superficial.
ASK ZELDA: Our relationships expert Zelda West-Meads answers your questions  Daily MailShould I stay with my husband for the sake of our children or divorce him and bring them up on my own? Can a marriage survive with a complete lack of trust?
11 ways alcohol affects your sex life and relationships  INSIDERA drink can help you relax, bond with others, and reduce anxiety. But too much alcohol also has a negative impact on your relationships.
Relationship impairments hinder men seeking mental health treatment  Medical XpressRelationship impairment (difficulty managing expectations and requirements within an intimate relationship) plays a role in explaining the association between ...
'How to Date Men When You Hate Men' analyzes dating and relationships from a feminist perspective  The Michigan DailyThe *content* itself seemed at times more flash than substance, which is not necessarily a bad thing.
Simi, Adekunle Gold: Private relationship goals?  Pulse NigeriaNo certain confirmation of an ongoing relationship from either of them. Neither has there been a denial. Published: 10.12.2018 , Refreshed: 11.12.2018; Ayoola ...
What Your Vacation Fight Says About Your Relationship - Arguing on a Romantic Vacation  Cosmopolitan.comStatistically speaking, it's really weird NOT to fight on vacation.
Let's Talk: How much should you reveal about past relationships?  Loop News JamaicaKnowing your partner and what to say and when to say it is a key part of any relationship. Saying too much and saying too little can make or break the bond ...
How To Overcome The Three Challenges Of Maintaining Professional Relationships  ForbesWith refined communication skills at the ready and a host of networking opportunities marked on your calendar, you're well on your way to building the strong ...
Why do interpersonal relationships differ between societies?  Research MattersIn some societies, it is relatively easy for people to form new relationships and terminate old ones. These could be friendships, family relationships or romantic ...
Do men try to restore power balance by being aggressive in relationships?  Economic TimesWELLINGTON: Heterosexual sexist men who think their female partners or wives want to control them are more likely to underestimate their power in romantic ...
A Tribute to Rituparno Ghosh, the Filmmaker Who Humanised Same-Sex Relationships  The WireThe city of Kolkata was Ghosh's muse as well as his battleground, where he sought to change conventional notions about gender.
10 subtle signs your partner is no longer happy in your relationship  INSIDERThe feeling of not knowing what your partner is thinking can be disheartening. Luckily, there are a few subtle signs an unhappy partner may exhibit.
What people want from relationships influences how they flirt, study finds  PsyPostNew research from Southwestern University has found that people who are pursuing short-term sexual relationships are more likely to engage in unusual ...
Why are sexist men more aggressive in romantic relationships?  Times of IndiaSexist men who think their female partners or wives want to control them are more likely to underestimate their power in romantic relationships and ac.
It's all about relationships, in the new world of work  The Globe and MailWhile automation is leaving no room for human interactions in the changing world of work, forging relationships is the new currency.
Introducing pet names to your relationship could make it stronger, according to science  INSIDERPet names may seem cringe-worthy, but numerous studies have found that couples who use them are more likely to be happy with their relationship.
SAPAC examines "Love Actually"; Attendees discussed consent and relationships following movie screening  The Michigan DailyLove was in the air Tuesday night at the University of Michigan's Central Campus Recreation Building. Approximately 30 students and faculty attended a ...
The value of the spaces between you, me and us  YourStoryYourStory CEO Shradha Sharma reflects on the value of space in every relationship and recognising individual merit after her meeting with Mrs Sudha Murty.
Cherish relationships with financial planning  LivemintThe financial strains can lead to increased irritability, pressure, insecurity, and fear. If you don't play your cards right, relationships could pay the price. It could be ...
Can Ajay Devgn and Kajol's relationship advice work magic in real life?  Times of IndiaRead on to know the secrets of one of Bollywood's happily-married couples and what keeps them going.
'I'm Confused:' Tamar Braxton Begins Patching Relationships with Sisters After Emotionally Fraught Year, Fans Wonder About Traci Braxton  Atlanta Black StarAs 2018 draws to a close, it seems Tamar Braxton is looking to turn over a new leaf and make things right with her family. The singer posted a lengthy message ...
Ellen Pompeo and Jada Pinkett Smith Tackle Biracial Relationships, Patrick Dempsey on 'Red Table Talk'  TooFabEllen Pompeo gives Jada Pinkett Smith an update on her post-"Grey's Anatomy" relationship with Patrick Dempsey on latest "Red Table Talk."
How to save your struggling relationship  NEWS.com.auThe Christmas-holiday season is the chance to spend more time with your partner without distractions from work or kids' school/sport commitments, and a time to ...
3 Simple Ways To Cement Customer Relationships  ForbesHere are three scalable ways to build relationships with your customers.
Navigating tricky relationships during the holidays - Harvard Health Blog  Harvard HealthDo you have a challenging relationship with certain family or friends you see during the holidays? Here's how to navigate tricky situations and conversations ...
Ordergroove Showcases Innovations in Relationship Commerce with Leading Retailers  Business WireOrdergroove, the leader in Relationship Commerce, today announced the demonstration of frictionless, customer-centric shopping experiences with custom.
Be Brave: Why You Need To Risk Vulnerability To Build Great Relationships  ForbesIf building a network of strong relationships was easy, more people would do it. Not only does building relationships take time—it takes courage. Whether you ...
ARTICLE: John Tyndall - Our Changing Relationships with Mountains  UKC NewsMatthew Shipton. 10th December. This has been read 1,391 times. Do the mountains, and our relationships with them, remain stable through time? Author ...
Here's Why Toby & Kate's This Is Us Relationship Is Actually Toxic AF  BustleDespite appearing to be one of the most tight knit couples on This Is Us, Kate and Toby's relationship is actually quite toxic if you take a moment to examine it ...
Ruck relationships the priority for West Coast Eagles assistant Matt Rosa  The West AustralianNew West Coast assistant Matt Rosa says the chemistry between a rebuilt ruck brigade and West Coast's midfield will need to be fast tracked to have the engine ...
Sex Helps Initiate Relationships With Potential Partners  Psychology TodaySexual desire evolved to serve as a powerful motivational force that brings potential romantic partners together initially, and thereby helps to facilitate sexual ...
Assessing player-GM relationships in the wake of Kyle Lowry's comments about Masai Ujiri  CBS SportsOn Tuesday, Kyle Lowry had some interesting words regarding Raptors GM Masai Ujiri. When he was asked by ESPN's Rachel Nichols about his relationship ...
'The Conners' recap: Romance is messy in good and bad ways  USA TODAYSpoiler alert: This recap contains significant details from Tuesday's episode of ABC's "The Conners." Darlene and her aunt, Jackie, are having very different ...
4 Reasons Taking Your Relationship Slow Means It'll Be More Likely To Go The Distance  Elite DailyMost of us have probably heard of the "taking it slow" approach to new relationships, but I've often found myself wondering what this actually means. On one ...
A Milestone: All Of The Walking Dead's Relationships Are Now Interracial Or LGBT  ForbesSix years later, The Walking Dead has produced a new society, and all of its current relationships are LGBT or interracial for the first time.
Happy Relationships are the Key to a Fulfilling Life, According to 75-Year-Long Harvard Study  Mental FlossThe key to a fulfilling life has nothing to do with getting ahead at work, making money, or traveling the world. As Fast Company reports, according to a 75-year ...
How Social Media Usage Affects Doctor To Patient Relationships  ForbesSocial media has made a significant impact on every aspect of our lives. Healthcare is no exception. The increasing usage of social networks among both ...
Movie castings that ruined relationships  Nicki SwiftOne's work can really complicate a relationship, especially if they have a job with long hours that requires a lot of travel. For most celebrities, that's a given, and ...
We feel rubbish about our relationships when compared to Instagram baes  MetroWe know, we know, it's not a good idea to compare ourselves to those on Instagram. And yet we can't help but have travel envy or wish we had those...
Sexist men underestimate their power in romantic relationships: Concern for losing power to women can lead to more aggression  Science DailyHeterosexual men with sexist attitudes may underestimate how much power they actually have in their romantic relationships, which could lead to increased ...
Examples Of Things Passive Aggressive People In Toxic Relationships Say | Anna Thea  YourTangoDealing with passive aggressive behavior from your partner is one of the key signs of toxic relationships, which is why you should watch out for men and women ...
Eddie Izzard: 'Being transgender made it tricky to have a relationship'  The Sydney Morning HeraldEddie Izzard on his career, the women who influenced him and marriage.
Help Your Sons Navigate 'Mean Boy' Relationships  LifehackerWhen we think about the way our kids might face conflict with their peers, we may have a tendency to assume our sons' conflict is likely to be physical, whereas ...
Local News, Central professor's relationships raise questions  Columbia Basin HeraldELLENSBURG — When does an inappropriate relationship become sexual harassment? An internal Central Washi.
How sexual fantasies affect your relationship  Big ThinkA new study called "What Fantasies Can Do to Your Relationship: The Effects of Sexual Fantasies on Couple Interactions" breaks down how different kinds of ...
These 10 Shocking Things Can Predict If Your Relationship Is Likely To End, According To Research  BustleFor the most part, many people go into relationships hoping it will last. But can you predict if it actually will or not? Researchers have been trying to answer that ...
Is It Better to Be Loyal or Honest in Your Relationships?  Psychology TodayAn old friend is in town on a trip that you've known about for months. Back when you made a date to get together for the evening, it seemed like a great idea.
I’m in a relationship with another man but he identifies as straight  The GuardianWe kiss and cuddle, but he won't go beyond a certain point physically and says he loves me as a brother. Do we have any hope of a future?
Will Your Relationship Last? Science Says Couples Who Do This 1 Thing Regularly are More Likely to Stay Together  Inc.A happy relationship at home makes your professional life and work/life balance far easier and more stable. Make your partner your ally.
Woman says her boyfriend's 'blokiness' is ruining their relationship as it 'irritates' her  Daily MailA frustrated woman from New Zealand has revealed her boyfriend's masculinity and love of sports is making her reconsider their relationship in a tell-all plea for ...
Jamie & William's Relationship On 'Outlander' Is A Heartbreaking Reminder Of Everything Jamie's Missed Out On  BustleSpoilers ahead for Outlander Season 4, Episode 6. While Outlander fans are anxiously waiting to see how Jamie's relationship with Brianna will play out, "Blood ...
Nicki Minaj defends her relationship with sex offender  The Straits TimesNEW YORK • Fans of Nicki Minaj are issuing a wake-up call to the rapper. They are concerned that she is in a relationship with a man who is registered as a ...
Leonardo DiCaprio 'very serious' about new relationship  AsiaOneHollywood actor Leonardo DiCaprio, 44, is "very serious" about his relationship with 21-year-old American model and actress Camila Morrone, it has been ...
Holiday Safety Tips for Women in Abusive Relationships  Canada NewsWire4 Elements of A Holiday Safety Plan from Project LISA. TORONTO, Dec 11, 2018 /CNW/ - The holiday season is stressful under the best of conditions, but when ...
Vanderpump Rules: All the Insane Relationship Changes in 2018  E! OnlineCan you even remember who Stassi was dating at the beginning of the year? or is Jax and Brittany were even together?! Relive the Bravo reality hit's cast's ...
Jennifer Garner’s Relationship with CEO John Miller May Not Be as Serious as We Thought: Report  InStyleAfter months of dating, Jennifer Garner is slowing down her romance with businessman John Miller to focus on her family and her career.
16 Tweets About Dating & Relationships During The Holidays That Are So Relatable  Elite DailyOne of the best things about the holiday season is when you have someone to share it with. While I am single this year, some of my best holiday memories ...
Couple say group sex therapy sessions SAVED their relationship: ‘It's better than before' | Daily Star  Daily StarA COUPLE have rekindled their crumbling relationship – after a number of group sex therapy sessions.
Queer Eye's Antoni Porowski poses with new boyfriend as he makes relationship Instagram official  Daily MailHe split up with his beau of seven years in October. But Antoni Porowski got right back up on the dating saddle as he posted an Instagram photo with his new ...
4 Common Relationship Problems & How to Fix Them - Relationship Issues  Men's HealthGoing through a rough patch? You're probably not alone. These are some of the most common relationship problems—and what you can do to fix them.
Relationships Take Time And Energy  The FriskyIf I were to ask you to rate yourself on a scale from 1-10 with 10 being the highest, on how you show up to your relationship each day, what kind of score do you ...
Ask E. Jean: Lack of Intimacy Is Ruining My Relationship  ELLE.comDear E. Jean: My boyfriend and I have our struggles. But with him, arguments and fights just emphasize how 100 percent sure I am that this is the man for me.
Joe Alwyn just got really defensive when asked about his relationship with Taylor Swift  Cosmopolitan.comWhile being famous arguably involves allowing fans to know details about your life, Joe Alwyn wants you to know his relationship with Taylor Swift is private ...
Are Joe Sugg and Dianne Buswell dating? Strictly Come Dancing couple's relationship  HeartJoe Sugg and Dianne Bussell have prompted rumours they are dating after she split from Emmerdale star Anthony Quinlan. We look at their growing ...
Relationships: ‘I got sent the worst breakup text of all time’  NEWS.com.auOur first encounter was like something out of a '90s rom-com about a woman holidaying in Portugal.
Report: VGF pastor had relationship with minor student while a teacher  The Newark AdvocateHEATH - The former pastor of VGF Church stepped down from the church he founded because about 30 years ago he had a relationship with a minor while he ...
Man acknowledges relationship over, threatens to kill victim  Cowra GuardianHe left a message saying he'd tear the face of his victim.
Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford's Relationship Has 'Changed'  In Touch WeeklySources say "everything has changed" between Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford following Kathie's announcement to quit the show. Get the details.
Ariana Grande defines relationship status with ex Ricky Alvarez as rumors swirl  Fox NewsAriana Grande wants to set the record straight about her current relationship with ex-boyfriend Ricky Alvarez. As her hit song "Thank U, Next" states, Grande's ...
Is the US-China economic relationship about to permanently shrink? - AEI  American Enterprise InstituteA symposium of views presented by The International Economy, Fall 2018. View related *content*: Economics. Derek Scissors of the American Enterprise Institute ...
4 signs your new relationship is moving way too fast  INSIDERA relationship therapist explains how to tell if your new romance is moving along too quickly, like if you see the person multiple times per week.
Social relationships more important than hard evidence in partisan politics: Study explains how political groupings become extreme and divided  Science DailyA new study explains how partisan groupings evolve to become extreme, ultimately resulting in the formation of 'echo chambers' in which political beliefs go ...
Fireworks and fraught relationships flare in a tense My Brilliant Friend  The A.V. ClubYou walk to work every day. You see the same things, the same people; you utter the same greetings, catch the same scents on the air. It's right there in front of ...
Report: Brady-Belichick rift might be no more  NBCSports.comRather than head for a nasty divorce, Tom Brady and Bill Belichick reportedly have rekindled an old flame. Prior to the Patriots' heartbreaking loss to the Miami ...
Uttar Pradesh: Man stabs cabbie to death for having relationship with girlfriend, 4 arrested  Times NowLucknow: In an appalling case reported from Ghaziabad district of Uttar Pradesh, four people were arrested for allegedly stabbing a taxi driver to death over an ...
#MeToo: India Inc redefines code of conduct, forbids romantic relationships between senior and subordinate  Economic TimesIndia Inc is redefining its code of conduct at workplaces in the wake of a flurry #MeToo sexual harassment allegations, from booking separate hotels when two ...
By confronting Iran, Trump again strengthens US-Israel relationship | TheHill  The HillNearly two years into his term, it's clear that Israel has a friend in President Trump.
In December 2018, Two Important Neighborhood Relationships in the Spotlight for India  The DiplomatThis month will cast the spotlight on two important Indian neighborhood relationships with important summits slated to take place in New Delhi. First, on ...
The story behind Urjit Patel's frosty relationship with government  Economic TimesIn his tenure, Patel had cut repo rate once in October 2016, but then raised it thrice by equal 25 bps dose each time since August 2017 to 6.5%, much against the ...
ASK AMY: Twin obsession interferes with dating relationship  Toronto SunDear Amy: I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years.The first year of our relationship, his twin sister was living in another country. She came back to live ...
Humans.net is Changing How People Broker Work Relationships [Interview]  BitcoinistBitcoinist recently caught up with Vlad Dobrynin, CEO and Founder of Humans.net, to discuss his project and the future of the blockchain space. Here's what he ...
Gazette Christmas Fund: Schizophrenia strained mom's relationship with children  Montreal GazetteThey can't understand what happened to me,” Wilma said. She believes they blame her for not providing for them.
​Mahesh Bhatt confirms daughter Alia Bhatt's relationship with Ranbir Kapoor  Times of IndiaMonths after keeping everyone guessing about their romance, Mahesh Bhatt may have just given all Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoor fans the confirmation they ...

10 Reasons Why Married Couples Grow Apart (Part II)

This is a continuation of part one of this article... Read More

I Said Yes, I Meant No, and Now I Want Out

Imagine this; you have the opportunity to go away for... Read More

Seduction Secrets For Men Part 3 - A Wonderful Idea To Spice Up Your Existing Relationships

There is a cool little game for spicing up your... Read More

Are You Ready to Handle an Indigo Child?

So what's new in the world of spirituality and the... Read More

Love is Not Supposed to Hurt

Questions and Answers:I often feel sad in my relationship, what... Read More

Why Anger is Essential to Healthy Relationships

Many of us have some very definite ideas about anger.... Read More

The Breakdown of Relationships and Why They Fail

All females need sexual tension from a prospective or existing... Read More

Love or Lust

Do you know what the definition of love is? This... Read More

The Evolution of Love

Songs have been saying it for generations together. Ask anyone... Read More

Hey There, Whats Your Money Personality?

Guys who come up to women in bars and ask:... Read More

Second Fiddle

I have been seeing a married man for the past... Read More

Are You Looking for Ms. Right or Mr. Not so Wrong?

Do you want to find the "love of your life?"It's... Read More

Jinxed Relationships -- Are Yours?

Do you consider yourself unlucky in love? Have your relationships... Read More

The Logic Of Females - Or Lack There Of

Many males complain that they don't understand females. Many females... Read More

The Sponge Pattern

Relationships. They're complicated, right? At least that's what we've been... Read More

Being Mindful of Your Mates Space

SOMETIMES I'LL ask a couple I'm seeing in therapy to... Read More

Relationship Conflict - Blow Up or Blow Through

Every now and then I hear a "relationship expert" say... Read More

How To Open Up While Staying Safe

When you've had your heart broken in a relationship, it... Read More

Its Your Fault I Had An Affair!

When you read it like that, out of context, you'd... Read More

Great Relationships: 4 Big Relationship Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Relationship Mistake No. 1 - Partner BashingBashing the one you... Read More

9 Reasons You May Not be Getting the Love you Deserve

Are you getting the love you deserve? Are you being... Read More

The Power of Authenticity

How "powerful" are you?Do you ever cover up how you... Read More

The Relativity of Your Life

We live in the world of the relative. What and... Read More

Making New Friends

How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into... Read More

60 Words and Phrases that Make Men Fall Deeper in Love

The interesting thing about getting the love you deserve is... Read More