Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
Making New Friends > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

Making New Friends

How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into a new city or a new job or a new school, how do we go about making a new friends? Most of us don't really think about it, but just sort of allow people to float in and out of our lives without really paying any attention to how we pull new people into our lives.

Years ago, my son was four years old and starting preschool. He had been begging to go for about a year and was thrilled that he was finally there. He had longed to play on their playground. He really loved all of the noise and commotion of such a large day care center. He was fascinated by the sight of all those other children running around laughing and playing. He was so excited to dive in and start hanging out with those other kids. He was naturally outgoing and energetic, and had wonderful social skills so I knew he'd get along just fine. I was a bit surprised when he came up to me after a few weeks and said that he was really struggling because as 'the new kid' he didn't have any friends.

"How do I get some friends to play with me?"

I told him that every week I would give him a new assignment. I explained to him that you don't want to run through these steps too fast because it makes people nervous and they'll push you away. You want to give them time to adjust to you as you go through these steps.

For the first week all he had to do was smile a nice big smile and say, "Hi!" He needed to walk around saying 'hi' to teachers and students alike. Whoever seemed cool in his opinion. He didn't have to be a geek about it and say 'hi' to everyone, just those he thought seemed kind of interesting. This gives people the impression that you're an upbeat positive person, but not too pushy. Greet them everyday with a smile on your face.

For the second week, he had to start adding their names to the cheerful greeting. When you see someone you like, smile real big and say "Hi Joey!" or "Hi Suzy!" or "Hi Anthony!" Just start learning their names and adding it to your hellos. This way they're already used to your pleasant greetings and it just personalizes it a bit. Greet them with a personalized greeting everyday.

For the third week, I told him to give them an honest compliment along with the greeting. Don't make it something big and embarrassing, but something small and comfortable for them to hear you say out loud in front of others. "Hi Joey! I love your Ninja Turtle T-shirt!" or "Hi Suzy! I really like the way you color within the lines, looks great!" or "Hi Anthony! Nice haircut dude!" The key to this step is honesty. You have to find something you truly like about the person to compliment. People get an odd feeling and on some level can sense when others are being fake or insincere with them. Be honest, be upbeat, and personalize the greeting and the compliment. Again, do it every day. Consistency really matters. You're not just making them feel good about themselves, but creating a public image of yourself as a consistently upbeat positive person.

For the fourth week, I was going to have him include an invitation to play with him in with his greetings, but he never got that far. He was having such a good time with all of his new friends that he never really bothered with any more lessons. He was very popular and well loved from that point on.

Every time he's changed schools or neighborhoods or started going to a new church or gone away to camp or whatever, he has always used that same system to make new friends. It's foolproof and always works for him. He's just started high school this year and is incredibly confident in his ability to make new friends. Now, he simply walks up to strangers, flashes them his best grin, in a charming and almost clown like manner he greets them with a big hug, and will tell them he loves them before he even introduces himself. He just hams it up like a beloved comedian and delivers whatever silly greeting will make kids laugh. It's beautiful to watch him. There isn't a shy bone in that kids body!

Can we as adults do the same thing? I know that if I really look at my own behaviors, the times that friends have seemed a bit scarce were when I wasn't doing a lot of reaching out and greeting them. If I wasn't personalizing my conversations towards them and I wasn't handing out the compliments, then new people didn't seem to stick around and develop into friendships. Most people are a lot more insecure and shy then they let on, and they really feel good when someone else notices them enough to learn their name and to greet them with a real compliment. It usually makes them feel comfortable enough to respond and to begin opening up.

It's a really simple exercise? consistently greet them, personalize the greeting, and then add a compliment to the greeting, if you aren't friends by then, offer an invitation along with the greeting. People love to feel likeable. This system lets them know that you think they're likeable without making you feel like an uncomfortable nerd. It's slow enough paced to not be forced, unnatural, or pushy. We humans have funny little behavioral rules and rituals that we follow instinctively and red warning flags pop up when someone doesn't approach us just right. Deep down, I think we're still just as skittish and easily spooked away as the first cavemen. Give them time to check you out. It's amazing how beautifully this works.

Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to spirituality, motivation, and inspiration in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, motivation, and parenting. More of her articles can be found at www.tomorrowsedge.net as well as free previews of her books.

skye@tomorrowsedge.net

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

New York Times

Latest Attraction at French Theme Park: Crows That Pick Up Trash ...
New York Times
No, that crow casually holding a cigarette butt in its beak isn't a smoker. It's meant to “make people feel a little bit guilty” for littering.
Rubbish-collecting crows a star attraction at French theme park ...Jakarta Post
Science: Rubbish-collecting crows a star attraction at French theme park [Report]Brinkwire (press release)

all 9 news articles »

MyDaytonDailyNews

New attraction coming to Kings Island in 2019
MyDaytonDailyNews
Kings Island officials announced Thursday that they will be bringing back the antique car attraction in spring of 2019. RELATED: See more trending stories on WHIO.com. Park officials said the ride will be located in the Coney Mall alongside the famous ...
Antique Cars ride coming back to Kings Island in 2019WCPO
Kings Island is bringing back the Antique Cars rideCincinnati.com
Guest Favorite "Antique Autos" Ride Returns to Kings Island in 2019PR Newswire
YouTube
all 76 news articles »

KXLY Spokane

New attraction has people jumping like spiders in Riverfront Park
KXLY Spokane
SPOKANE, Wash. - The Spokane Parks Department continues to find new ways to attract people to Riverfront Park. Friday, the park unveiled its latest attraction, a Spider Jump bungee trampoline. It's located on the Skate Ribbon pond. -- Jumpers wear a ...


Buzz.ie

"Everybody secretly watches" says Naked Attraction host
Buzz.ie
Naked Attraction might court negative press - but the show's message is wholly positive, says host Anna Richardson. She tells how it continues to prompt an important conversation. There are few people that haven't seen - or at least heard of - Naked ...


WSYM-TV

Erebus Haunted Attraction hiring 'scare actors' for upcoming season
WSYM-TV
PONTIAC, Mich. - Halloween is several weeks away, but if dressing up in elaborate, yet terrifying, costumes to scare strangers is your thing, then you're in luck. Erebus Haunted Attraction in Pontiac is hiring "scare actors" for its upcoming season ...


Paulick Report

Prime Attraction 'Going To Fight' If Asked In Pacific Classic - Horse ...
Paulick Report
A glance at all the “1”s and “2”s in the past performance lines for Prime Attraction leads to the logical conclusion that Prime Attraction will be in the vanguard, ...

and more »

Elite Daily

Can You Stop Being Sexually Attracted To Someone? Here's What Experts Say
Elite Daily
The sexual attraction between two people can begin almost immediately. It's that very first moment that you see them in a certain light. Your hormones and brain chemistry start working overtime, and you find yourself inexplicably drawn to them. "It's ...


Trail to Devil's Bathtub attraction gets upgrade funds
Coalfield.com
A popular tourist site in Scott County will see major improvements due to a $88,302 grant from the Virginia Department of Mines, Minerals and Energy. DMME announced Thursday that the funds will be used to make safety and environmental improvements at ...


Caffeinated Thoughts

Study: Counseling for Unwanted Same-Sex Attraction Is Effective
Caffeinated Thoughts
A recent study from the Catholic Medical Association entitled Effects of Therapy on Religious Men Who Have Unwanted Same-Sex Attraction confirms the overwhelming effectiveness of people receiving counseling to reduce or eliminate their unwanted ...


The Local France

Rubbish-collecting crows a star attraction at French theme park
The Local France
Visitors to a theme park in western France this week have a new attraction to enjoy: six crows that have been specially trained to pick up cigarette ends and rubbish. The birds have been in action since Monday at the Puy du Fou park, picking up litter ...
French Theme Park Asks: Crows Can Pick Up Trash, Why Can't You?NPR

all 49 news articles »
Google News

Attracting Opportunity -- 10 Tips

You get what you attract ? with your thoughts, words,... Read More

How To Actualize Your Potential

Are you tired of struggling and trying to realize your... Read More

What Does the World Owe You?

Sometimes many of us feel like we've made deposits into... Read More

Do You Have Tickets To Your Dream Theater?

I'd like you to do an exercise with me.I want... Read More

Sometimes Being Unfocused is the Risk You Need to Take

I was accused recently of being unfocused. This lady challenged... Read More

10 Common Money And Success Myths ? Part 1

For the longest time, people believed that the earth was... Read More

Dreams

When I was a kid sitting in school I can... Read More

Attitude Is Everything

The process of human change begins within us. We all... Read More

The Big Key to Freedom

When our clients are exposed to our company, they are... Read More

Heres What I Got Out Of ?What The Bleep Do We Know?

Your mind is so powerful that what you focus on... Read More

Speak Up!

Ever been in a meeting with something important to say... Read More

What is the Key to a Successful Life?

An ideal is not the dream that can never be... Read More

Visualization: Attracting Your Dreams and Desires

Visualization is an essential tool for attracting your dreams and... Read More

Plants, Herbs, And Roots For Love

In the column Plants, Herbs and Roots For Prosperity, I... Read More

You Cant Direct the Wind but You Can Adjust the Sails

Dear Friend,First of all, let's take a look at the... Read More

Dont Be Afraid to Let Other People See Who You Really Are!

Do you know anybody that you consider to be particularly... Read More

On Uniqueness

Is being special or unique a property of an object... Read More

The Principle of Abundance

One of the first great things I learned when starting... Read More

What Goes Around, Comes Around

... Read More

Millionaire Mindset: We Become What We Think About

In studying wealth, we learn the power of using our... Read More

The Top 10 Roadblocks to Attracting Prosperity and what We can Do About Them!

If it were easy, everyone would do IT; everyone would... Read More

Birthing Your Dream

Are you ready to birth a dream and not sure... Read More

Who Wants to Work?

I feel a loss when pragmatism wins over the mystical.... Read More

Passion Play

I remember a football game from last season when the... Read More

Seven Truths of Universal Law

Truth To Live By:What truths do you live by? Are... Read More