Somewhere between the first kiss and growing old together, many couples experience dormant growth phases during their relationship, leaving one, if not both partners with a need for greater input, emotionally and/or physically.
The process of emotional growth is both independent, and uncomfortable. To ideally maintain and promote harmony, each partner must be willing to flex with the growth needs of the other, while also contributing to the growth of the relationship.
A long-lasting relationship is founded on compassion, respect, and genuine love for your partner. These qualities can ? and should ? be frequently expressed in a number of ways, to reaffirm the value of the relationship. Continuously seeking to re-invent the relationship by expressing appreciation for your partner will solidify the connection between you.
To nudge your relationship out of the proverbial emotional drought, here is a list of suggestions for adding more passion into your relationship:
1. Reality check your partner. Before doing anything to encourage the relationship, ask yourself if your partner is good for you, and why. Know the basic answers like the back of your hand. If you find yourself unable or unwilling to admit value in your partner, you may be in the wrong relationship.
2. Acknowledge the uniqueness of the relationship through your partner. There is potential in every moment to experience the greatest point of your relationship. Showing appreciation for your partner's uniqueness further defines the relationship based on a broader attraction. Communicate the acknowledgement of individuality of your partner frequently, both emotionally and physically.
3. Make love right now. Allow the sexual aspect of your relationship to evolve into an activity of ultimate fulfillment, reserved only for your partner. Instead of making love for your satisfaction, make love for your partner, and allow them to do the same for you.
4. Be friends, too. Would you be friends with your partner, outside of the relationship? If you find the answer is "no," don't worry ? there's always time to make new friends. Identify activities you and your partner can do and enjoy together. Participate in a third-party project, such as charity work. Activities beyond intimacy will broaden, and therefore strengthen, the foundation of your relationship.
5. Be what you want to see. Demand no more out of your partner than what you are willing to make out of life yourself. If you are capable of great things ? and you are ? then get to work. Be certain to test all seemingly realistic requirements on yourself, before seeking to ask them of your partner.
6. Form a pact to achieve excellence in some way. Whether it be a physical health regimen, a bowling tournament, doing the taxes, or managing a business together, forming a pact to achieve excellence in a specific, tangible way will build trust between partners. Commitment to a short-term goal is the best exercise a relationship can get.
7. Love with your whole heart. All too many times, past relationships keep us from loving with our whole heart. If your relationship reality check is solid, ask yourself how you've been holding back on your partner, and why. Do you expect criticism, instead of acceptance? Recognize the boundaries of your love, and identify positive ways to expand them daily.
8. Improving yourself improves the relationship. Self enrichment is an effective, important means of perpetual contribution to your relationship. Expanding your personal knowledge and interests will keep conversations interesting and generate new ideas for growing together, through new activities and experiences shared between partners.
Remember, there's nothing wrong with taking care of you. The more you have to give, the more there will be to share with your significant other.
9. Explore diversity in faith, culture, or politics. Diversity ? and its acceptance ? serve as a cornerstone of any fulfilling, long-lasting relationship. Your partner is likely to embrace at least some perspectives different than your own with regard to religion, culture, or political affiliation. Look to explore your partner's diversity, and openly accept the differences that make you both unique.
10. Don't go to bed mad. Make it a point to resolve differences before going to bed. Allowing arguments or heated discussions to fester overnight can solidify emotions, while leaving the real issues behind. In addition to promoting communication and relationship stability, addressing differences before bed reduces stress and promotes better sleep.
A meaningful, fulfilling relationship is perhaps the greatest investment you can make in both yourself, and your partner. As your relationship grows, look for new ways to interact with each other as you haven't before. Each human represents a vast Universe of knowledge and emotion waiting for exploration by just one individual with the unwavering desire, patience, and capacity to know them.
Jim D. Ray is a parapsychologist with a diverse background in multiple subject concentrations, including business, psychology and parapsychology, criminal justice, philosophy, education, internet technology, physics, and vocal performance arts. Jim can be reached by e-mail at: [email protected].