How to Ease the Pain of a Breakup

Whether you do the dumping or you are the one who got dumped, breakups are painful. If you initiated the breakup you may feel guilty, or question that you made the right decision. If you were the one who got dumped you may feel shocked, hurt, and angry. Breakups are painful for either party. There are things you can do to get through the breakup, to ease your pain. Sometimes breakups can bring a relationship closer together when both parties realize that they really were meant to be together, or they can be a blessing because you are no longer with the wrong person.

First thing you should do is acknowledge your feelings, its ok to feel sad, hurt, angry, and shocked. This was a relationship you spent time in. Live in the moment and allow yourself to cry if need be. Talk to your friends about your relationship, let them know how much you hurt; they may have advice for you that may be helpful. Additionally they may offer you some insight about your relationship that you did not see. You may want to spend the next several evenings/weekends at home taking extra good care of yourself. Watch television, lie in bed and eat ice cream, paint your nails, or try on a new hair style.

Keep busy. Yes, you are going to have to go through a difficult transition. Before you start dating other people consider revitalizing hobbies you may have put aside to be with your ex. You may want to invite over your girlfriends, and enjoy an evening watching movies, or cooking; heck you can have a slumber party. See if there are local events that you may want to go to, for example there might be cooking classes at a nearby store; museums often have special events, or taking a class on a hobby that you enjoy.

Do not call your ex. I know, this is the hardest part. Even if you really want to, resist. Employ your friends; call them instead of your Ex. Chances are in an emotional state you will not say what you really want to say. Wait on contacting your Ex for several weeks. Let the first wave of hurt and anger subside before you attempt to make contact. This may take a week, month, or longer before you are able to speak to them in a calm way.

Do not email, or send a letter to your Ex. Wait! Write the letter, write the email, but do not send it. Wait, you may want to burn the letter have you write it. Do not send it. Allow the initial pain to pass. You can always get in touch with your Ex later. The best revenge on an Ex is letting them think you are moving along and you are doing very well. You may want to keep a journal of your feelings, and write down all of your feelings so you can go back and organize your thoughts, and take a better look at your past relationship.

The pain of a breakup will eventually ease. Most people who have dated have been through a breakup or two, and they do know how you feel. Acknowledge your feelings, and let them out. Letting out your feelings either privately in a journal or with your friends will help you feel validated. Do not contact your Ex until the pain of the breakup goes away. If you are hurting you are not likely to say the right things, besides it better to let you're Ex think that you're doing well enough without them. You may want to consider renewing your relationship, so do not say anything that you might regret. You may also realize that this relationship was not meant to be, and it is time for you to move on. Remember, that the pain, the hurt, and the sadness will go away, while it may take longer than we like, keep in mind going through this may help make your next relationship better.

Stephanie Manley is the editor for http://www.copykat.com, also writes a column at http://romancelessons.blogspot.com about lessons in relationships, and romance.

In The News:


Forbes

Reflective Listening: The Simple Strategy For Building Relationships
Forbes
Both my cofounder and I come from large and rambunctious families. This has all kinds of implications, but if you ever spent a night at dinner with our families you might think they are fighting as they talk over one another, with no regard for whether ...


Telegraph.co.uk

Mothers and daughters on: the truth about relationships and marriage
Telegraph.co.uk
In the video above, a variety of mother-daughter duos discuss their attitudes towards relationships and marriage, sharing some of their experiences and revealing how attitudes may have shifted from generation to generation. Some of the topics touched ...

and more »

WATE 6 On Your Side

East Tennessee parents, counselors discuss staff-student relationships
WATE 6 On Your Side
KNOXVILLE (WATE) -The ongoing Amber Alert for a Middle Tennessee 15-year-old raises questions for parents about protecting your kids. A focus of the investigation is what was going on between Elizabeth Thomas and Tad Cummins, her teacher until a few ...

and more »

NBCSports.com

Jim Mora misses the relationships with other his fellow coaches
NBCSports.com
He said he misses the relationships with his peers. While NFL coaches fiercely compete, the competition ends, for the most part, on the field. Sure, there's often some competition when it comes to free agents. But not nearly the kind of neverending ...

and more »

Wall Street Journal (subscription)

McDonald's Taps Bob Rupczynksi as Head of Media and Customer Relationships
Wall Street Journal (subscription)
McDonald's Corp. has hired data-driven food marketer Bob Rupczynski as global vice president of media and customer relationship management to help the fast-food giant bolster its digital marketing efforts around the globe. Mr. Rupczynski was most ...


DNAinfo

Pratt Institute Warns Students of FBI Effort to Build 'Relationships'
DNAinfo
CLINTON HILL — The FBI has been contacting art students at the Pratt Institute to "build better relationships with the community," according to an email the head of the college's security sent faculty and students. William J. Schmitz, the director of ...


CBC.ca

Bertrand Charest admits to sexual relationships with skiers: lawyer
CBC.ca
Bertrand Charest doesn't deny having had sex with some of his teenage ski students but disagrees with his portrayal by the Crown and his alleged victims, one of his lawyers said Wednesday. "There were sexual relationships between Mr. Charest and ...

and more »

Air Force Link

Mentorship program refines medical techniques, fosters Misawa community relationships
Air Force Link
Airmen study an appendix at Misawa Air Base, Japan, March, 13, 2017. A surgeon in the Small Hospital Clinic Skills Enhancement program worked as a mentor to demonstrate removal of the appendix and advise how to make the process better. (U.S. Air ...


Why relationships are key to good social work
The Guardian
Relational capability is the ability to have positive social interactions and relationships where all parties benefit. For social workers, it means thinking about how their own beliefs and behaviours combine with professional rules and regulations to ...


Redbookmag.com (blog)

The idea of monogamy as a relationship ideal is based on flawed science
Quartz
Monogamy is so much a part of the emotional makeup of Western culture that even people who study relationships fail to notice their biases towards it, according to research due to be published this week. And that means the very way we study intimacy ...
15 People Reveal What It's *Really* Like to Be In An Open MarriageRedbookmag.com (blog)

all 3 news articles »
Google News

Romantic Gift Guide

It is a commonly held belief, mainly amongst men, that... Read More

5 Surefire Ways to Arouse Your Woman

As there are different types of women, there are different... Read More

Is Your Relationship Worth Fighting For

Sometimes when a relationship has gone sour, our efforts are... Read More

Pros and Cons of Online Relationships

Modern technology hasn't solved any of the problems of creating... Read More

How To Support Friends and Loved Ones Through an Abusive Relationship

This is a question that comes up a lot. It's... Read More

Who Should Relocate In A Long Distance Relationship?

My Dear Lover,Soon or later, you and your beloved will... Read More

Relationship Advice: A Few Observations on Marriage and Relationships

Here are a few observations on marriage and relationships.Information ExplosionJust... Read More

Want To Strengthen Your Relationship

Open your mouth. What do I mean? Talk ? say... Read More

Great Relationships: 4 Big Relationship Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Relationship Mistake No. 1 - Partner BashingBashing the one you... Read More

The Fine Art of Flirting

Did you know that it is not necessarily your looks... Read More

Communication Is The Key To A Lasting Relationship

"If you are trying to find ways to lead a... Read More

Diamond Alternatives ? There Are Some Great Options

There is little doubt that diamonds are one of the... Read More

He?s So Loving (But He Has These Black Moods)

It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving... Read More

3 Stone Diamond Rings ? Three Times As Nice!

It is said that the stones in 3 stone diamond... Read More

The Top 10 Ways to Keep Passion in Your Relationship

All long-term relationships go through a variety of phases. There... Read More

Relationhip Advice: How to Have Fun Together

Work. Bills. Kids. Chores.Etc.All these things get in the way... Read More

Being A Friend Through A Divorce

We used to joke amongst the couples we are close... Read More

One of The Main Reasons Why Relationships Fall Apart

I had the priviledge to try out a BMW M5... Read More

Choosing a Diamond Engangement Ring That She Can?t Say No To!

So you've decided to propose ? congratulations! This is a... Read More

Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck

"and they lived happily ever after...That is how our favorite... Read More

A Gift From the Heart of a Friend

She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A... Read More

Easy Ways to Turn Any Evening Romantic

If you don't have the time, money or energy to... Read More

ARC of Understanding

In relationship we all make mistakes and sometimes we are... Read More

Relationship Tips: 16 Practical Dramatic Ways to Know if He/She is REALLY Changing

Every relationship hits a snag, or worse, a major crisis... Read More

Ten Tips to Play Together, and Stay Together: Lessons from the Teepee Turn-around

There is an old expression, which may sound trite, but... Read More