Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
Are You Fit To Love? > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

Are You Fit To Love?

is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's face it, our relationships are extremely important. Yet, often they are the cause of pain and struggle. Single or not, societal standards convince us that we can have it all. Much of the available relationship advice compels us to go after everything we want. Sadly, for many it is not working. Climbing divorce rates and more singles seeking love are proof that our attitudes are counterproductive.

Our expectations have become highly unrealistic. Rarely do we look in the mirror and ask: Am I fit to love? Today's relationships are failing because of deterioration of character. It is time we made a point of building long-term relationship success based on the strength of our characters, instead of clever-minded relationship strategies.

Great relationships require great characters. We simply must become better people for each other. Becoming fit to love is a powerful wake-up call for the brave. It will dramatically improve our relationships or our chances of finding love. The happiest people are those in exceptional relationships. They are heavily invested in their most valuable asset: their relationship and have an abundance of life's most precious commodity: love. They all have one thing in common: they are fit to love. At the heart of all exceptional relationships are three universal principles: mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity and here is what it means:

MUTUAL RESPECT: Your partner is just as important as you.

Our partner's dreams and hopes are as important as our own. This principle requires us to think of our partner as our equal. Given that our generation has made history as ambassadors of our "me first" society, we are more concerned with getting what we want. For Bill, everything revolves around golfing. He spends every weekend at the golf course while his wife, Jane, looks after their two small children. Extra money from their already tight budget is spent on Bill's hobby. Stuck at home with toddlers, Jane has little freedom to do or buy anything special. Despite Jane's complaints Bill seems completely aloof to the fact that he is disrespectful.

Relationship conflicts arise because of different perspectives. Lovers argue over who is right, instead solving the issue in their mutual best interest. The struggle over unresolved issues leads to resentment even when there is love. Love and respect take a backseat and the relationship deteriorates. This dangerous game is the reason why many relationships fail, when they shouldn't. Instead of trying to change each other or putting our needs first, we must realize that our partner is just as important. In grabbing hold of our partner's beliefs we show that we respect our partner. If conflict arises and we cannot agree, we should simply agree to disagree and continue to talk with respect. Without mutual respect, it is impossible to create loving relationships.

MORAL RESPONSIBILITY: You are always morally responsible to those with whom you have relationships.

We live in a society that elevates self-fulfillment above anything else. We seek self-fulfillment at any cost, even at the cost of others. Regardless of how often we have heard that we are not responsible for our partner's happiness, we are still responsible for his or her well-being. Love is a moral responsibility to another person. We blame our partners if things do not work out without looking in the mirror to see our own flaws. Yet, everything we think, say or do affects those we love.

Jennifer had lunch with her friend Sally at a quaint restaurant. Jennifer could barley wait to share the details about her affair with this young stud. Sally listened in awe as Jennifer blamed her so-called inattentive husband, Paul. It was a strange twist of fate that Paul sat behind the flower-decorated lattice wall listening to every word his wife said. From here on life took a different turn. Jennifer had deceived her husband Paul and lost the respect of Sally. This is a high price to pay for moments of sex.

In our quest for better relationships, we must make our relationship a priority. We must focus on our relationship not elsewhere.

AUTHENTICITY: True love only happens when you are real

Have you ever found yourself laughing simply because everyone else did? Agreed with your partner's opinion even though you didn't share it or said: "I love you" when you didn't mean it. Did you ever do something inconsistent with your true self just to please someone or to get what you wanted? Of course we all have. We have lost the bravery to be real!

For many there is quite a gap between the inside and the person they present to the world. How about Toni, the dad who rents a Porsche to impress his date, while being delinquent in child support. Debby spends every Sunday at Grant's parents but resents it. To keep the peace, she refrains from claiming some of these Sundays on her terms.

To be validated we often compromise who we are. Conditioned by our environment we have become products of the culture we live in. No matter how good we are at playing roles eventually our truth emerges. Being fit to love means being real. When we are authentic our relationships become real and we never have to doubt them.

Regardless of the state of our relationships or how unsuccessfully we have tried to find love we have the power to radically change today. Mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity are key to exceptional relationships. People in exceptional relationships are fit to love and in the process they reap some profound rewards:

·They live much happier lives
·They cope far better with stress
·They have better sex more often
·They laugh more often and have more fun
·They are healthier and live longer
·They are more optimistic
·They feel more secure and stable

No wonder we envy these people. In times like these, laced with tremendous uncertainty their relationships are like rock-solid anchors. Mahatma Gandhi said: "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave". Let's be brave!

© 2005 Allie Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are You Fit To Love? Her book has received the honorable mention at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters. To order her book or take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website http://www.fit2love.com. For Free Relationship/Dating Advice e-mail: askallie@fit2love.com

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

Entrepreneur

How to Succeed as an Entrepreneur Without Sabotaging Your Personal Relationships
Entrepreneur
Businesses require as much time and effort as personal relationships, but most entrepreneurs focus more on their business rather than their personal lives. However, our entrepreneurial networks require the support of our personal networks to thrive ...


Law.com

How This Fortune 500 GC Is Strengthening Her Law Firm Panel Relationships
Law.com
Among my top priorities were to examine our law firm relationships and create a tight-knit panel of lead partners and firms that would understand our business, deliver unparalleled service, and collaborate with one another in Peabody's best interests ...


Psychology Today (blog)

5 Pieces of Bad Relationship Advice Exposed
Psychology Today (blog)
In this post, I'll tackle bad relationship advice. There is no shortage of books, magazine articles, blogs, and talk shows telling people how to have better relationships. But there are certain common bits of advice that research suggests are not true ...


Omaha World-Herald

Ask Amy: I talked to my daughter about puberty, sex and relationships. Now her teacher is mad
Omaha World-Herald
Dear Amy: I am a physician and a widower. Most importantly, I'm the father of a brilliant and deeply inquisitive 12-year-old girl. I have raised my daughter (by myself) since she was 6 months old. We are very close. I noticed signs that she would soon ...


USA TODAY

Could Venmo be damaging your relationships?
USA TODAY
Venmo is supposed to be an easy way to pay friends, family and loved one, what's owed to them. A new study shows that it's ruining relationships and making people seem petty and cheap! Buzz60. by Taboola by Taboola. AD CONTENT. Zoo.com.


Times of India

Homosexual relationships do not lead to STDs like AIDS: SC
Times of India
NEW DELHI: The Victorian-era morality, prohibitions, unsafe sex and living in denial have led to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS and it cannot be blamed on homosexual relationships, the Supreme Court on Tuesday said while ...

and more »

The Local Denmark

Why international relocation can put a strain on relationships - and how 'purpose' can help
The Local Denmark
Evidence suggests a strong relationship between happiness and having purpose in life. It seems to create a buffer from stress and negative emotions and makes us more resilient when faced with difficult situations. Without it, we expose ourselves more ...


Spectrum News

President Trump reordering global relationships, foreign experts say
Spectrum News
"Each time we go through one of these cycles where the president shows a desire to upend those relationships, it means that in the future we've got fewer countries that are going to be ready to stand up and be counted on America's side," said Jeff ...
TRANSCRIPT: Trump backtracks on Russia commentsCNN

all 4,238 news articles »

Elite Daily

This Is How Relationships Change After Your First Fight, Because It Can Be Surprising
Elite Daily
Any time you're in a relationship, there are a few things that are bound to happen. Obviously, you're going to learn a lot about yourself and your partner, but you're also going to fight. A lot. Sure, when you first get into a relationship, you might ...


thejournal.ie

'Setting guidelines around relationships at work is a wise and obvious next step for employers'
thejournal.ie
RECENTLY, BRIAN KYRZANICH, CEO of Intel resigned because of a previous fully consensual relationship with a coworker. The affair contravened Intel's non-fraternisation policy that applied to all managers. The questions arise swiftly in the media. Is ...

Google News

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

People who experience bad health often have major league forgiveness... Read More

The Fine Art of Flirting

Did you know that it is not necessarily your looks... Read More

Are You Ready to Handle an Indigo Child?

So what's new in the world of spirituality and the... Read More

Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 3 - The Jealousy Syndrome

Jealousy, unfortunately it seems to pop up sometime in even... Read More

How to Ease the Pain of a Breakup

Whether you do the dumping or you are the one... Read More

Are You A Hopium Addict?

Are You A 'Hopium Addict?'If the question alone was enough... Read More

Relationship Advice: 5 Tips to Make a Strong Marriage Even Better

1. Time together is time during which the complete focus... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Resolve Conflict

Conflict in a relationship is both normal and painful. In... Read More

Thick Slice, Or Thin?

Malcolm Gladwell's book "Blink" is a fascinating read. The subtitle... Read More

My Life

My sister is 45 and having an affair with an... Read More

Improve Your Relationship by Taking Care of Yourself First

It's important for you to take care of yourself before... Read More

Attraction: Is It Worth It?

The Common Scenario:Your partner is hardly ever home to give... Read More

Are You Fit To Love?

is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's... Read More

Is Your Negative Thinking Scaring Off Your Soul Mates?

Francine Bonnecelli* swore off relationships the day her husband of... Read More

To Love Forever

Emotionally healthy men and women almost always share their lives... Read More

E-Love at Easter - Part Two

The next week was a whirl. The first quarter of... Read More

Building the Bond in Your Relationship

A bond (relationship wise) is when two people have a... Read More

How do We Change our Self Esteem Perception?

Many of us have heard about the power of positive... Read More

Dont Ignore the Signs: How Emotional Infidelity Can Ruin Your Relationship

Emotional infidelity can start with a simple hi or a... Read More

Passion or Purpose?

I hate moderation. I hate doing things moderately. I hate... Read More

How To Write a Romantic Love Letter

Does the thought of writing a love letter or poem... Read More

Guys Guide To Flowers

We are here to help! With these helpful hints on... Read More

Great Relationships: 4 Big Relationship Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Relationship Mistake No. 1 - Partner BashingBashing the one you... Read More

Relationship Advice: Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair

"But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous... Read More

He?s So Loving (But He Has These Black Moods)

It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving... Read More