Relationship Advice - 5 Sure Fire Ways to Mess Things Up

1) Stay committed to your "right to be right."

Argue for your point of view, making sure you never entertain the possibility that your partner may have a valid point of view. If you ever do discover that you were wrong, make sure you don't admit it or apologize.

CoupleTips: Often in love relationships, there is a choice: you can be right or you can be happy, but not both. Choose wisely. As a friend of mine said after his first year of marriage: "I finally figured out that the sun will come up tomorrow if we do it her way."

2) Compete with your partner.

And there is so much over which to compete: who is right, who's in control, who's better at balancing the checkbook, who clicks the remote, etc.

CoupleTip: Learn the gentle art of cooperation. If you are going to compete, compete together to have the very best relationship that you can have.

3) Make it up as you go along.

Don't talk about any of the important stuff, like how you want to handle money, kids, the future, in-laws, savings, where to live, etc. Believe things will just work out.

CoupletTip: Talk about the important stuff. If you get stuck, find a relationship coach to help. Create a relationship vision by asking the question "if we could have it exactly like we want, how would it be?" Build from there.

4) Never forgive.

Hold fast to the myths about forgiveness:

>forgiving lets them off the hook
>forgiving condones what they did
>forgiving leaves me vulnerable for it to happen again.

Remain convinced that staying angry will actually help your partner change.

CoupleTip: Forgive as much or more than you would like to be forgiven. Forgiveness can release you from the pain of the offense.

5) Complain and Criticize.

A lot. Raise it to an art form. Make sure that each and every time your partner behaves like a human being and messes up, you not only throw the current issue in their face, you also bring up every mistake ever made, in detail.

CoupleTip: Celebrate what you want to see more of. Appreciation can go a long way.

Jeff Herring is a relationship coach, speaker and syndicated relationship columnist. For 100's more immediately useable CoupleTips Jeff invites you to visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

In The News:

Relationships Where More Means Less  The Wall Street Journal

How to Use Humor to Improve Your Relationships

Humor has long been considered one of the most effective... Read More

Put Some Z.I.P. Into Your Relationships

Relationships are really what makes the world go 'round, aren't... Read More

I Love You!

The famous three words we never hear enough of in... Read More

8 Reasons Why Your Man Isn?t More Romantic On Valentine?s Day

What is supposed to be the most romantic day of... Read More

Lingerie Buying Advice For Guys

Buying lingerie for your lover can be one of the... Read More

What Men Hate in Women

Without wasting much time, here are some of the personality... Read More

Attention Guys: Impress Your Girls - Send Flowers!

Remember that big hug she gave you when you got... Read More

Relationship Advice: 6 Secrets for Great Relationships

The Law of ContentYou can get into trouble in a... Read More

You CAN Improve Your Relationship

It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant... Read More

The Key to Ending Pain With Others

It has taken me 40 years to learn exactly how... Read More

If You Love Me

If you love me, you will keep my commandments?In the... Read More

The Revenge Affair: Characteristics of the Adulterer

"I Want to Get Back at Him/Her" is one of... Read More

Find Love The Zen Way

"If he comes we welcome, If he goes we do... Read More

Extended Family Relationships: Staying Friends with Former Lovers and Spouses

Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve... Read More

Single in a Couples World

Advertising for St. Valentine's Day seemed more relentless than ever... Read More

Setting Up Boundaries in Relationships

Setting up personal boundaries is important in all types of... Read More

Dont Be A Doormat in Your Relationship

There comes a point in every relationship when the person... Read More

Ounce of Prevention

"To love, honour and cherish", easy words to say during... Read More

The Spiritual Connection of True Romance

In the springtime, with the flowers budding and the birds... Read More

Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships are so painful that I often wonder why... Read More

Am I Doing the Right Thing?

Dear Candace,My fiancé and I just broke up, and I... Read More

Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships

One of the keys to obtaining a better life or... Read More

Coping With A New Culture: Problems And Solutions

Coping with a new culture has never been the easiest... Read More

Extra-marital Affairs...Yes or No!!!

Extra-marital Affairs?Yes or No!!! (Think and Tell)"Human Relations", a complex... Read More

Great Relationships: How to Create a Nag-Free Zone

Q: My wife and I have a good marriage that... Read More