You are Killing US with YOUR Jealousy

Hey all, I feel that need to reach out and touch someone. So here I am again.

So far I have enlightened the world with my thoughts on jealousy and self-esteem. I want to clear up any misunderstandings that may have some male people thinking that I am targeting only women here. Jealousy and self-esteem issues also can imprison men as well as women. No one is excused from real human emotions. Emotions know no face, color, size or gender. There are two victims here, not just one.

I also feel that I have neglected to reveal how the other party involved in a relationship that suffers from jealousy or self-esteem issues also suffers.

A relationship is a partnership. It is a commitment made between two people, in that we will stand by each other through thick and thin. Unfortunately, when it is a jealousy issue, both parties are effected. We tend to focus on the person that is trapped in the prison of worry, more than the other person that is caught in the line of fire, partly because we need to free that side first, then we can help heal the other.

Well I am now going to share that persons prison of hell as well.

To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a definite pain that one cannot bear for a long time. They eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you, (the attacker) to please stop; to please listen to what you are saying and accusing them of.

Time after time they try so hard to reassure you that they do love you and that they are not interested nor lusting for anyone else. When they try to tell you that it is all in your mind, they risk getting attacked more for defense. It is no doubt a vicious circle. They become paranoid that no matter where they are, you are already convinced that they have betrayed you in some way. They wait for the shoe to drop. Some times it takes a few days, some times it drops immediately. Never the less they have to sit by and worry about when it will drop. They fear that this time they will not be able to say the right thing. They fear we will get even more depressed and irrational with what they say to us. They begin to feel, "damned if they do, and damned if they don`t". I personally hate that feeling. To think that I myself would put someone in that position makes me want to run away faster than Forrest Gump.

The neglect you put on that person through your jealous insecurities is as real to them as your feelings of being trapped in your prison of doubt. There are many scenarios as to why jealousy rises up inside people, but for the innocent ones that really do not ever do anything to trigger that fear inside you, they are the innocent victims. People that have come to the point of identifying their issues and have began to deal with them, please remember the other person that is there with you. They too need special attention, because they have shared your fears and your pain. In a much different way, never the less, they still ache. Jealousy can destroy so many good things in ones lives. It can destroy our mate, through you, it kills the one thing that you love deeply. The worst part about it is, that you allow it. You must stop. Would you take a gun and shoot your mate? NOT!! So then why are you allowing this emotion to torture what is so dear to you? I repeat, as long as your mate is not responsible for your fears or if they have made amends and are trying to make things better, then please understand their pain of being mistrusted. When they see you in pain and they are being told it is because of them, they crumble. Your mate loves you as much as you love them, and to feel they are responsible for your trapped feelings eats them up inside. To see you smile and feel totally loved makes them feel good about themselves in that they are responsible for that smile. That is a good feeling all the way around.

Also be careful not to fall into that habit of being unhappy through jealous feelings. Understand where they are coming from. Are you using them as a reason to get attention? Again, a wrong kind of attention. If you cannot get the right attention you feel you are lacking, then talk to your partner. Do not let jealous emotions take over and confuse what you really are trying to say. Any weakness in your mind is a direct route for negative feelings to travel through. Once they get there, they work very quickly at bringing you down. So be aware of what exactly you are feeling.

I hope that I have at least opened up some thoughts in your minds as to what else is going on in a relationship that is plagued by jealousy. Both sides are equally being torchered and killed. We need to LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH more often with each other. Oh and lets not forget my favorite thing to do...HUGGGGGG!!!!

One thought from my heart to yours:

Say this outloud:

"I am always ready to risk.
I am always ready to learn.
I am always ready to test my strength,
and so I put my worries aside and just live!"

Dorothy
owner/ Operator
http://www.womensselfesteem.com
http://www.justblogme.com/dorothy
http://www.womenselfesteem.proboards29.com

In The News:


Psychology Today (blog)

Why Conflict Is Healthy for Relationships
Psychology Today (blog)
A large amount of research in the communication field has focused on conflict since it is such an important and unavoidable part of being in a close relationship. Fortunately, that research has determined that conflict can be quite healthy for ...


Times Daily

Relationships matter: Grow up emotionally and spiritually
Times Daily
Jerry and Lynn Jones are a husband-wife team who joined forces 20 years ago to present relationship seminars to everyday people. They explore complex issues and emotions surrounding relationships while incorporating godliness into the solutions.


The Independent

Why people stay in relationships past their expiry date
The Independent
We've all seen it from the outside: what was once a healthy, happy relationship has turned toxic, and it now brings your loved one more grievance, stress and negativity than happiness. And yet they stay. But why? Why do people stay in relationships ...


Relationships And Tech: Why You Can't Do Business Without Both
Inman.com
Karen Elmir shares her experience building business using technology as a millennial as well as good old fashioned relationship building.

and more »

TwinCities.com-Pioneer Press

Review: Brave New Workshop skewers sex, relationships in 'Booty and the Beast'
TwinCities.com-Pioneer Press
β€œIt is difficult to think of anything new to say about love, sex or relationships in general,” he writes in the program. The show opens with a rousing musical number about app-based dating that sets the tone for a rapid-fire, loud and over-the-top two ...


Daily Globe

Deputy Simpson keeps people safe, builds relationships in community
Daily Globe
Although dealing with criminals is a big part of being an officer, there's another aspect of the job that's often overlooked. Simpson said building relationships within the community is essential, with early positive interaction with young kids ...


PsychCentral.com (blog)

How Narcissism and A High Emotional Pain Threshold Ruins Relationships
PsychCentral.com (blog)
You grew up surrounded by narcissists. They hurt you frequently. So frequently that your heart was seared. The pain rolled off like water-off-a-duck's-back almost before you realized that, yet again, you'd been wounded. Talking back was swiftly and ...


Lincoln Journal Star

Song about building cross-cultural relationships forged many during its creation
Lincoln Journal Star
The Yes, Ands and singer Mona Reeves -- from left, bassist Andrew McGill, Reeves, singer Crystal Davy, guitarist Zach Davy and drummer Joe Heider -- will attend a video premiere for their song, "I'm Not Fine," at the Mary Riepma Ross Media Arts Center ...


The Verge

How Mass Effect: Andromeda and other big games create lasting relationships
The Verge
I binge on television shows to get to the end. I read page-turners, because I need to know what happens. But in video games, I linger. When I feel the end arriving, I make a detour, dabbling in some side missions or exploring new places I'd previously ...
Mass Effect Andromeda romance guide: from casual banging to winning heartsVG247
EA includes same-sex relationships in Mass Effect: Andromeda – but gamers want moreattitude.co.uk
Mass Effect Andromeda Romance: Guide and advice on flings and relationshipsInternational Business Times AU
USgamer -Polygon
all 548 news articles »

AL.com

Lawmaker wants teachers trained to avoid inappropriate student relationships
AL.com
Alabama has had a problem with teachers having inappropriate relationships with students, and Rep. Mack Butler, R-Rainbow City, is proposing a solution. Butler introduced a bill, HB409, calling for annual training for teachers "to include instruction ...

Google News

Before Falling Truly and Madly in Love Ask Each Other 10 Pertinent Questions

Falling in love?aaahh what a wonderful experience the first flushes... Read More

Charisma, Love and Health

This is an amazing story. It's about my friend Robert.... Read More

Rekindling An Old Flame

Dr. Nancy Kalish, a psychology professor at California State University,... Read More

Are You Fit To Love?

is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's... Read More

How To Quickly Turn Platonic Friends into Lovers Using The New 5-Step Jealousy Technique

I'm going to get straight to the point. If you... Read More

When Someone You Love is Moving

Your best friend moves a thousand miles, your aunt retires... Read More

Why Its Important to Stay in Contact with Your Friends when Youre in a Relationship

So often when we begin to enter into a new... Read More

Getting More From Dating, Romantic Relationships, and Marriage

Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a... Read More

Are You Looking for Ms. Right or Mr. Not so Wrong?

Do you want to find the "love of your life?"It's... Read More

Love or Lust

Do you know what the definition of love is? This... Read More

Dinner Scooped Off the Floor - Why Men Wont Commit

"We strengthen a muscle by using it, and that is... Read More

Infidelity: Difference Between a Rage and Revenge Affair

The fifth affair I outline in my book, "Break Free... Read More

Relationship Conflict - Blow Up or Blow Through

Every now and then I hear a "relationship expert" say... Read More

How to Turn Down Invitations Gracefully

All of us occasionally receive social invitations that we don't... Read More

Extra-marital Affairs...Yes or No!!!

Extra-marital Affairs?Yes or No!!! (Think and Tell)"Human Relations", a complex... Read More

Are You Paralysed By The Fear Of Future Regrets?

Edith Piaf remains an icon and her best loved song,... Read More

How Valentine?s Day Gifts Can Expose a Cheating Husband

If you have the nagging feeling that your husband may... Read More

Choosing a Diamond Engangement Ring That She Can?t Say No To!

So you've decided to propose ? congratulations! This is a... Read More

Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing / Minimum Time

If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a... Read More

Great Relationships: 4 More Dumb MIstakes and 4 Smarter Moves to Make

1) Treat the family you have come from as more... Read More

Relationship Advice: Top 2 Secret Ways To Become Irresistibly Magnetic To Your Wife

According to new studies 5 out of 10 marriages will... Read More

How to Find Out If Your Wife or Girlfriend Is Cheating On You

What drives a woman to cheat may look a lot... Read More

Universal Laws for Couples

The Law of Connection: Spouses are either growing closer or... Read More

Great Relationships: 7 Secrets You Must Know to Make It

1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to... Read More

Relationship Advice: 3 Kinds of Love

There are three kinds of love:love as a feeling, love... Read More