Relationship Reality: Are Your Relationships Based In Reality or Fantasy?

Within the next two to three minutes, you will uncover if you have had relationships based in reality or fantasy!

I want you to recall a failed relationship and ask yourself one question, "Why didn't it work?"

Initially, you may answer, "They cheated, lied, changed, etc." But be honest with yourself. Without honesty there cannot be any changes in your life.

The truth may be you created a world in which this person could not live up too! "How is that possible," is what you are thinking, "I would never do such a thing!" Maybe not intentionally but you do it! Heck, we all do it until we realize we are doing it!

Too often you project your image of the person onto them. Thus, creating your fantasy person. We see only the image we created.

This is important to recognize early on because at no point did the person ask you to think so highly of them. You focus on their "potential" and figure eventually he/she will get to that place he/she should be to make you happy.

However, once the individual steps outside of the image you created you begin to think, "They changed!" But in reality they were the same all a long.

In essence, what you have done was create a "virtual reality" or "fantasy world" based on the images present in your mind. That is why many of us get hurt in our relationships. We are not realistic but idealistic.

What's the difference between a Realistic person and an Idealistic person?

Realistic:

  • A realistic person will go into a relationship with their eyes open
  • A realistic person will lay the cards on the table and get down to details of what the relationship is going to be
  • A realistic person will speak their mind and say what they feel even though it may hurt the person in the short term
  • A realistic person is honest with the individual regarding their life and shows they care about the person and not focused on what they can get from the individual
  • A realistic person understands there will be problems and issues but working together they can overcome anything
  • A realistic person tends to be more genuine in their love and support
  • And much, much more
Idealistic:
  • The idealistic person will forgo the communication and move straight into sex
  • The idealistic person will say "I love you" quick
  • The idealistic person will get emotionally attached quick
  • The idealistic person will think, "This is my dream person." Technically, they would be right, as it is a dream they are living and their new mate would be a dream person.
  • The idealistic person will cry because their dream relationship did not work out then repeat the process over again
  • The idealistic person will blame everyone else for causing the problem but never look at themselves
  • The idealistic person lives in a fantasy world where everything works and nothing fails
  • The idealistic person is usually kicked square in the face by reality and still will not wake up
  • And much, much more!
The question you need to ask yourself is, "Am I a realistic person or am I am idealistic person?" The answer to that question will help you to understand why your relationships end and how to say goodbye to relationship mistakes and avoid unhappy relationships.

Now, don't go analyzing people and prejudging them. This, as well as everything else you may read on other web sites, is just a guide. Use your common sense and just pay attention when you are dealing with people.

Shawn Nelson, MSA is a Motivational Speaker, Life Counselor and Author who creates guides, e-Courses and run several web sites that help people achieve their relationship, personal, life and professional goals. To learn more visit How To Meet The Man of Your Dreams and How To Meet The Woman of Your Dreams web site.

In The News:

How to Mend a Work Relationship  Harvard Business Review
Past Relationships  CBS Pittsburgh
Long-distance relationships at U.Va.  University of Virginia The Cavalier Daily

Love Advice: Are You Frozen in Time?

Falling in love is a process that one cannot stay... Read More

Ounce of Prevention

"To love, honour and cherish", easy words to say during... Read More

Got a Girlfriend? Heres How Not to Screw It Up

Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become... Read More

Find Love The Zen Way

"If he comes we welcome, If he goes we do... Read More

Romantic Tips ? Gift Giving

I believe that we have all heard of the standard... Read More

Relationship Conflict: The 3 Cs of Resolving Conflict

"And they lived happily ever after.........."Yeah right.Perhaps I'm a little... Read More

What Till Death Do Us Part REALLY Means - Divine Source through Barbara Rose

Let me address this issue of eternity, this promise many... Read More

Zen And Romance

The art of romance and the art of Zen are... Read More

How Often do you Think About What you are Going to Say?

How often do you think about what you are going... Read More

Infidelity: Spying is NOT Revenge

Do not use what you find on your cheating spouse... Read More

Five Easy Steps to Creating Your Dream Relationship

Millions of singles across the world are looking to create... Read More

For Soul Mates: Will you grow or stagnate? Divine Source through Barbara Rose

Some soul mate couples refuse to grow. They refuse to... Read More

Fight, Flight, or Loving Action

Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When... Read More

My Fairy Tale Is Gone

Dear Candace,My girlfriend and I recently split up. I called... Read More

Why We Chose The Person We Love

"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to... Read More

The Sound of His Laughter

When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you... Read More

A Man Drought In Australasia - Bugger! Age is Against Me

Men wanted desperately, it's official. The increasing surplus of high... Read More

Denial Is Not A River In Egypt

Original it ain't, but it still merits repetition: "Denial is... Read More

Walls Of Communication!

Matters of the heart are a true mystery to all... Read More

How To Give Women What They Want and Need?The Forgotten Method of Wooing

Remember When?When you were in elementary school, high school, and... Read More

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 4

Finally, after all of the hard work you have done... Read More

The Three Rings of Relationships

Glenna Trout is an international authority on face reading whose... Read More

The Use and Abuse of Deception

The word "deceive" is derived from Latin, de- away +... Read More

I Have A Secret to Share

Dear Candace,I have been through a lot over the last... Read More

Charisma, Love and Health

This is an amazing story. It's about my friend Robert.... Read More