Attraction vs. Love

When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or medium that we meet, we are either attracted or not. Attraction, when pursued, eventually grows into levels of friendship and then may cross the barriers we build up, to protect ourselves, and grow into love.

Attraction usually involves an instant decision of like or dislike, based on our own subconscious criteria. If we meet someone in person, we tend to size them up physically. If we meet through letters or phone conversation or internet chat, we tend to size them up, over a longer term, by how well they converse and how interesting (or complimentary) they are while we interact with them.

It is true that people can act however they want, be whatever they want to be, over the internet. But eventually the true person leaks through the cracks and we begin to see their true self. Moral of the story? It's best to be your real self. You may eventually want to meet the person on the other end of the conversation.

On the other hand, when you do meet the 'real' person on the other end, remember that you have grown to like that person because of what's inside their mind and heart. You have found a potential 'soul mate' who thinks as you think and feels much the same way that you feel.

No one is perfect. We all have our own flaws and shortcomings. The concept of finding the 'right' person is good. The concept of finding the 'perfect' person is improbable and discouraging, because 'perfect' doesn't exist.

The way this person looks, their physical appearance, isn't as important as their inner looks, or soul. What we see is what we get, and hopefully the heart ranks the highest. We fall in love with someone's soul, not the shape or size of their body. And although a certain number of things can be done to improve physical appearance, that shouldn't be our main criteria or requirement for friendship or companionship.

We fall in love with their heart. With their inner self. With their true being. And that's what matters most.

Bob Curtis has been writing articles, short fiction and poetry for over 30 years. He has been a lay family and individual consultant for a number of years and is currently the managing director of People4People.blogspot.com and the president of Nexus Publishing, nexus4u.blogspot.com, in Midvale, Utah.

In The News:

Relationships Where More Means Less  The Wall Street Journal
The special relationship  Ebbsfleet United FC

Ending a Relationship Gracefully

Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you... Read More

Feel Like a (Romantic) Kid Again

If the start of the school year makes you a... Read More

Great Relationships: How to Get the Spark Back

Losing the spark - simply, if you will, falling out... Read More

Friends and Friendship - Who are Friends, What is Friendship

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is... Read More

How a Three Letter Word Kills Good Relationships

"You know, I really do love fish!" My friend... Read More

Love Problems

Often times when a couple gets married, things get pushed... Read More

How To Slay The Toxic Dragon In Your Life

How To "Slay The Dragon" In Your Life In Five... Read More

The Battle of the Sexes!

During my personal experiences with some of my relationships, I... Read More

Looking for a Lasting, Deeply Satisfying Relationship?

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in... Read More

Telling the Hard Truth

Watching television's "sitcom's", I can't help but notice that most... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: How to Get ?All A?s? in Couples Communication

Mark Twain once said that he believed it was "God's... Read More

A Diamond Anniversary Ring ? The Perfect Way To Seal Your Love

Some time ago you both made a promise. A promise... Read More

Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids?

Striking a perfect balance between work and home today can... Read More

Communication in Dating

Does your dating relationship have good communication? Communication during dating... Read More

I Want to Love Him... But Hes So Far Away

Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not supposed... Read More

Ending Relationships Gracefully

In my counseling practice, I often hear the question, "How... Read More

How To Write a Romantic Love Letter

Does the thought of writing a love letter or poem... Read More

Stop Making Relationship Mistakes! Avoid Another Unhappy Relationship!

It is possible for women to steer clear of an... Read More

Are all Men Unfaithful?

"Men are all the same. Stop looking for Prince Charming,... Read More

Two Kinds of Love

Love is something we all need, and want. For love,... Read More

Managing Miscommunication - Asking The Agreement Question?

A man and woman were trying to move a couch... Read More

Are You Ready to Handle an Indigo Child?

So what's new in the world of spirituality and the... Read More

Relationship Advice: 9 More Must-Know Tips for Couples

The Law of Two QuestionsThere are two questions that couples... Read More

Great Relationships: 7 Secrets You Must Know to Make It

1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to... Read More

Love or Lust

Do you know what the definition of love is? This... Read More