In Homer's Odyssey (a Greek Myth) sailors were lured to their death by Sirens, mythological temptresses who sang seductive songs. Sailors called Argonauts escaped the songs, because of the great musician Orpheus. He played his lyre so beautifully, that it drowned out the songs from the Sirens. His decisive deed saved the crew from total devastation.
Today's version of this enticement is "ECheating" - a phrase I've coined. "ECheating" enchants new scalawags to an internet isle. Rather than sail, today's Argonauts surf to this island. In great numbers surfers are defying danger and destruction for a chance encounter - a rendezvous.
Here's one such tale:
Martin leaves mornings for work before rush hour. He hates the wasted time or so he's been coached to tell Michelle, his unwitting wife. She cleans up breakfast dishes before heading off to work an hour later. Michelle loves Martin and thinks of him throughout the day. She faithfully trusts him.
Martin is the first at work. He logs onto the internet using his personal laptop to avoid detection and violation of company policy. He follows these tips from his team of "eCheating" consultants. Martin receives many hits just a few days after setting up his "eCheating" membership profile. He only has seconds to wait. With his coffee still steaming, seventeen women want to hear from him. Several want dialogue, others want extra. Nervously rolling his wedding band around his finger Martin is tempted to read them all. He's overcome will excitement, finally the monotony is gone! (That's the Siren's seductive song.)
"Your name is Cindy; you live in Seattle and need to spice up your marriage. This is your first time too? You enjoy things that might make some blush?? Oh no, what am I doing?" Martin says under his breath. With a quick click of the mouse Martin's off the net - escaping what seemed like a crime he's committed. His heart beat races. Martin is both scared and energized. For now signing off is the right thing. "That's it, no more," Martin says to himself. "Well at least they helped me cover my tracks. Michelle will never know I signed up."
Almost coincidentally, Martin's boss passes the cubicle with a routine welcome. "Oh not bad Paul, thanks for asking? Man that was close! I can't believe what I'm doing. I'm married; what am I crazy; I've got so much to lose. What would the kids do if they found out?" Martin asks himself.
Unfortunately, Martin yields to his desires and a rendezvous devised. His next business trip provides the perfect alibi. He will meet his chosen "eCheater" at a nearby convention hotel. Michelle remains clueless.
But wait, "eCheating" serves a compelling purpose, true? Just listen to one slogan "When Monogamy becomes Monotony." This catchphrase conjures up a sense of justification or reason. It includes not just a sex theme, but a sense of fellowship.
Does marriage end when it's unexciting?
Is in fact adultery the answer?
These new dreadful alliances would lead you to believe it is!
I am deeply troubled these "eCheating" businesses are flourishing! Isn't it time we put an end to them? How? What can YOU do about them?
Be proactive. Get informed. Search adultery keywords for banner ads. Learn these "ECheating" sites by name. Search computer history for visits to them. Install spy ware on home PC ? yours of course. Keep an eye on credit cards statements. Monitor computer usage. Paying attention to your relationship. Fight for your marriage and spouse ? seek help. Don't use God or the Bible as a weapon in confrontations. Therapy sessions don't work if you are forcing them. Don't require your spouse to go to therapy ? it will deliberately fail after a few sessions and be used against you. Safeguard your homes and kids from the internet. Make time to watch the eHighway carefully for those hazardous detours. Communicate better; be more affectionate, appreciative, available, accepting and affirming. Be positive, attractive and irresistible. Consider a make over if necessary. Request a copy of my article "Is your spouse cheating online?" Send a request to [email protected] Recognize the signs of adultery early on. If you don't know them, I can help you.
You are not alone?let's break these alliances together.
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© 2005 Bill Mitchell All rights reserved.
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Bill Mitchell, Seven-Day Detective, is an internationally renowned author who is recognized for his practical, solution-based investigative strategies to marriages facing infidelity. As a recognized expert on infidelity and child custody, Bill Mitchell appears regularly as a guest expert on TV and national talk shows including Dr. Phil, Today Show, and The Early Show. He has been interviewed by numerous publications including Chicago Tribune, Esquire, Ladies Home Journal Online, and PI Magazine.