Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
Why Do Men Cheat? > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

Why Do Men Cheat?

In my relationship work, this question is probably the one I hear most often. It is not an easy question to answer. The usual glib answer; "because they can", is really not good enough. People, particularly women, want to know the reason why men cheat, or more particularly, why their man cheated.

Different women have a different view as to what constitutes 'cheating'. For some women, for the man simply to look at another woman may be regarded as cheating, for other women it is being intimate with another person that constitutes 'cheating, and there are some women who appear able to accept flirting and even intimacy with another person but it is an emotional involvement that constitutes 'cheating'.

So let us try first to establish what is 'cheating' and what might be considered 'normal' behaviour in a man. First of all, there needs to be some degree of commitment and exclusivity between the two partners, furthermore, this commitment needs to be understood and agreed by both people. Without this there can be little question of 'cheating' on behalf of either party.

Obviously, marriage, engagement, living together would constitute a degree of commitment. Regularly dating for a period, may also be seen as constituting a commitment. It is here that the confusion starts to arise for a man may not feel he is committed to another person until he has said so to her, for the woman the simple fact that he dates her regularly may be seen as a sign of commitment.

It is where there is a disagreement as to the level of commitment involved, that most problems occur. The man may feel he is free to see another person without it being considered 'cheating' but the woman (his first partner) would be more likely to consider it cheating.

Also, there is a degree to which a man separates the physical act of lovemaking from the emotional attachment to another person. A man is able to perform the physical act without becoming emotionally attached to the woman. A man may often cite that a fling or an affair was 'purely physical' and that it does not mean that he is not now physically and emotionally attracted to his first partner. For a man, this is often true and is not simply an excuse. However, the woman is likely to view the situation differently.

Very often, a woman who suspects her man of cheating wants some evidence or proof of it. This is often to satisfy and corroborate her belief. However, the woman often has not thought through what she would do if the evidence became proof of her man's infidelity.

For the woman, proof of her man's cheating brings emotional hurt and anger. It will often also bring about feelings of distress, loss of self esteem and a feeling that she was to blame. This creates a dilemma for the woman; should she try to repair the relationship out of belief that somehow she has been to blame for his infidelity or should she end the relationship acting out of anger or emotional distress?

The emotional consequences of a man's cheating are not usually apparent to the man, certainly not prior to his act of cheating. It is only afterwards that a man may have some feelings of guilt. However, if he is not found out, then these may subside and the man comes to believe that he can get away with the cheating. Even so, if he tries to continue and to get away with his cheating, he still knows that at some point he is likely to be found out. At this point, it can become a contest, how far can he go without being found out?

To some men, having many partners is seen as a symbol of their status. Even when in a committed relationship, they may think they have a need to boost their status, esteem or ego by cheating. The loss of love, affection and support as a result of a simple thrill, does not occur to them until too late.

In their hearts and minds, men know that cheating is wrong, yet often their egos, their physical needs and, quite simply, the temptations overrule their hearts and minds.

So has this article answered the thorny question of why men cheat? Probably not. This is a complex issue and the causes or reasons will vary from instance to instance. No one can tell you unequivocally why your man may have cheated, not even your man himself.

In such circumstances what you, the two of you, have to decide is whether you want to repair the relationship or end it.

Douglas Woods is a qualified life coach, teacher and counsellor. You can read more about his work at http://www.dougwoods.com. He is also a contributor to Singlescene.net a website for single people.

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

Forbes

Being Mindful In Your Relationships
Forbes
My last article explored practical techniques to enhance communication between yourself and others. In this article, I want to build upon these skills by bringing mindfulness into relationships, whether at work, with friends, acquaintances or family ...


Lynchburg News and Advance

Building organic, healthy relationships in all neighborhoods, nonprofit connects people
Lynchburg News and Advance
Families create the heartbeat of a community and one local nonprofit is slowly and steadily hoping to strengthen both. Previously known as Lighthouse Kids Ministry, The Community Restoration Initiative changed its name in 2016 to better reflect its ...


The Daily Progress

Sheriff's office youth academy: building trust, relationships
The Daily Progress
During its weeklong youth academy, the Orange County Sheriff's Office teaches local teens about Virginia law and issues law enforcement officers deal with on a daily basis while also providing a fun and interactive day camp environment. Last week, 18 ...

and more »

GOV.UK

New relationships and health education in schools
GOV.UK
All schools will teach children about good physical and mental health, how to stay safe on and offline, and the importance of healthy relationships under bold new plans published today by Education Secretary Damian Hinds. Under the proposals, all ...
Schools to teach about same-sex relationships and gender identity under new sex and relationships education planPinkNews
Primary school pupils will learn about gay relationships, mental health and exercise under new government guidelinesDaily Mail
Campaigners criticise delay in updating sex education curriculumThe Guardian
Devdiscourse
all 21 news articles »

Lesson from an anthill: pay attention to foundational relationships
Baptist News Global
I thought about three kinds of relationships that provide a solid foundation for my life, and that I should never take for granted. Even if these relationships seem to be in good shape right now, I should not assume they cannot get better. I need to ...


Psychology Today (blog)

5 Pieces of Bad Relationship Advice Exposed
Psychology Today (blog)
In this post, I'll tackle bad relationship advice. There is no shortage of books, magazine articles, blogs, and talk shows telling people how to have better relationships. But there are certain common bits of advice that research suggests are not true ...


E! Online

Why Priyanka Chopra Is Changing Her Policy on Public Relationships
E! Online
The evidence is there. Should someone choose to Google Priyanka Chopra's history, it will turn up a list of (mostly actors) she has purportedly dated over the years. And the actress herself has copped to being in a relationship at some point, telling ...

and more »

YourTango

If You Do These 12 Things In A Relationship, You're Probably Depressed
YourTango
When it comes to relationships, depression can cause chaos, lead to breakups, and make people feel unworthy of love. According to Uzma Rehman, a psychologist from the University of Waterloo, people with a major depressive disorder feel less satisfied ...


Entrepreneur

How to Succeed as an Entrepreneur Without Sabotaging Your Personal Relationships
Entrepreneur
Businesses require as much time and effort as personal relationships, but most entrepreneurs focus more on their business rather than their personal lives. However, our entrepreneurial networks require the support of our personal networks to thrive ...


Omaha World-Herald

Ask Amy: I talked to my daughter about puberty, sex and relationships. Now her teacher is mad
Omaha World-Herald
Dear Amy: I am a physician and a widower. Most importantly, I'm the father of a brilliant and deeply inquisitive 12-year-old girl. I have raised my daughter (by myself) since she was 6 months old. We are very close. I noticed signs that she would soon ...

Google News

Ounce of Prevention

"To love, honour and cherish", easy words to say during... Read More

5 Surefire Ways to Arouse Your Woman

As there are different types of women, there are different... Read More

Relationship Tune Up - 7 Key Points to Avoid a Break Up or Break Down

"Every three months or 3,000 miles."That's how the sticker in... Read More

Long Distance Relationships - How to Make it Work

Long distance relationships are dreadful. I know this because I'm... Read More

Romancing The Senses

Romance can be experienced in numerous ways, but it is... Read More

If You Love Me

If you love me, you will keep my commandments?In the... Read More

Cheating Husband/Wife: 6 Keys to Know if You are Ready to Handle What You Might Find When You Spy

When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make... Read More

Don?t Snuff Out Expressions of Liking

It is hard to express all the emotions to somebody... Read More

Being Romantic for a Change

Honestly, I do not know anyone who is romantic nowadays... Read More

A Friend in Need

Here's the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent money to... Read More

Are You Paralysed By The Fear Of Future Regrets?

Edith Piaf remains an icon and her best loved song,... Read More

A Dear Jon Letter

How do you let go of someone whom you have... Read More

Relationship Advice - 10 Ways to Put Sizzle Back in Your Relationship

It seems that no matter how much we love someone,... Read More

Hold Em or Fold Em?

Like a great game of poker, knowing when to "Hold... Read More

The Top 10 Ways to Keep Passion in Your Relationship

All long-term relationships go through a variety of phases. There... Read More

Christmas Gifts Can Be a Cheating Husbands Undoing

Have you been plagued by the nagging feeling that your... Read More

Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids?

Striking a perfect balance between work and home today can... Read More

Second Time Around the Block

Divorce happens. I'm not going to debate the causes or... Read More

Relationship Advice: Starter Marriages

A man walking through the woods near a river hears... Read More

Your Next Relationship - Heaven or Hell?

We've all had relationships that we've looked back on and... Read More

Guys Guide To Flowers

We are here to help! With these helpful hints on... Read More

He?s So Loving (But He Has These Black Moods)

It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving... Read More

Living in Fear!

As we are aware, our relationships are that bigger part... Read More

Communicate What You Feel: How to be Understood By Those You Love

Good communication is of fundamental importance in intimate relationships. The... Read More

Relationship Advice - 5 Sure Fire Ways to Mess Things Up

1) Stay committed to your "right to be right."Argue for... Read More