Affairs: Advice for the One Who Strayed

To the spouse who had the affair, it's time for what I call a multilevel apology.

Anyone can say "I'm sorry," and it's important those words are spoken. Then follow up with an acknowledgment of the pain you caused and a commitment to never let it happen again.

In order to rebuild trust, you must be willing to live under a microscope for an indeterminate time. It will stink and be very uncomfortable. But it's a necessary part of rebuilding trust.

One of the first rules of living under a microscope is to avoid doing anything that will increase the magnification.

You must break all ties to the person with whom you had an affair. Sometimes this is easy, other times it is not.

If you work in the same office or go to the same church, make sure you are NEVER alone together. If you find you're tempted to continue the relationship, I have a three-word suggestion:

Run like hell!

I worked with a couple once where the man ended up alone in an office with the woman with whom he had had an affair. When it became crystal clear she was trying to pull him back in, he literally ran out of the room. He may have looked silly and even been embarrassed, but he saved both his integrity and his marriage.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e special report on the 10 Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

In The News:

How training bolsters relationships and builds EQ  HR DiveEmployers have long seen the need for training employees in hard skills. In recent years, soft skills like leadership and communication have crept into learning ...
Client Relationships Are About More Than Just KPIs  ForbesThe complexities of the agency-client relationship, like those of any relationship, are very real.
How fathers influence their daughters' romantic relationships  MercatorNetThe research literature is becoming increasingly clear about the substantial importance of fathers in the lives of their children. Unfortunately, far too many ...
You Won't Be Able To Truly Find Your Soulmate Until You Forgive Yourself For Past Failed Relationships  YourTangoIf you're wondering why your relationships never seem to work out and why you haven't found 'the one' yet, here is the reason why and how you can really find ...
What Is "Relationship OCD" & How Can You Tell If You Have It  Refinery29"Relationship OCD" is often used to describe OCD symptoms involving someone's relationships. Here, an expert explains some common signs.
Believe it or not, long distance relationships bring partners closer!  Times of IndiaA recent study says that such relationships have a whopping 58 per cent success rate and suggests that distance actually makes the hearts grow fonder.
Preterm babies are less likely to form romantic relationships in adulthood  Science DailyAdults who were born preterm (under 37 weeks gestation) are less likely to have a romantic relationship, a sexual partner and experience parenthood than ...
If You Want A Non-Traditional Relationship, You're Likely 1 Of These 4 Zodiac Signs  BustleSome people dream of meeting the love of their life, getting into a committed relationship with them, and then growing old together. But you might be someone ...
Online Relationships Are Valid | Columns  Cape May County HeraldIn a column three weeks ago, I lamented the anxiety and uncertainty that comes with my generation's relationship with the internet.
For anxious people, relationships can feel shaky even when they're actually stable  MicIn the 2002 film Punch-Drunk Love, Adam Sandler plays Barry Egan, a single, 30-something living with severe social anxiety. His love interest, Lena Leonard, ...
Money & relationships: Factors to consider before investing in a friend's business venture  Economic TimesHere are six things you should keep in mind before you decide to collaborate with a friend by investing your money in his startup.
How Long Do Early Relationship Butterflies Last? According To Experts, It Depends  Elite DailyYou know that feeling when you first start dating someone new, and you feel giddy 98% of the time because you're so excited? You can't help but feel happy ...
Study Proves Music Strengthens Parent-Child Relationships  ParentologyNew research suggests making music a part of a child's life improves their skill set, sense of self-worth and relationship with parents/families.
Have you found 'the one'? How mindsets about destiny affect our romantic relationships  The Conversation AUIf you're overlooking potential romantic partners because they're not who you envisioned as 'the one', it might be time to reassess your approach.
Finding Security in Relationships  Psychology Today“The most pernicious myth about love is the image of love as a closed system between two people. For love is a prism through which one loves the whole world.
Financial rules for relationships? | 98.1 KMBZ FM  KMBZWhat money rules do you have with your significant other? Are there things they need to get "fixed" before you can go to the next level like marriage? AddThis ...
These Zodiac signs will not rush into relationships, but be great partners  FeminaBuilding a relationship is not the work of a day. Some people realise earlier than others that they are in it for the long run and this could definitely be their happily ...
Jeremy Pruitt Building Back Player Relationships to Build Back Vols Program  WDEF News 12Hoover, AL-(WDEF-TV) Every team in the SEC East went to a bowl game last year, except for Tennessee. The rocky times on Rocky Top continued in Jeremy ...
How Will Mercury Retrograde July 2019 Affect Your Work Relationships? It's All About Communication  BustleWhether you're a diehard astrology fan or not, it's super tempting to spend a significant amount of time researching the movement of the planets. This is ...
Here Are All the "Stranger Things" Stars' Relationship Statuses IRL  Yahoo LifestyleFrom ELLE. Season three of Stranger Things was filled to the brim with relationships. Of course, there's Mileven, but also Max and Lucas, Suzie and Dustin, AND ...
Surprising stat about romantic relationships at work  Yahoo FinanceWe spend a lot of time with our coworkers so it's unsurprising that romance can blossom. But not everyone thinks it's a good idea.
This Advice About "Almost Relationships" Would Have Changed My Life — So Now, I'm Passing It Along  Elite DailyReferring to my past flames as ex-boyfriends feels weird because — up until a week before my 23rd birthday — I'd never had a boyfriend. Even calling them ...
PSU banks losing lead relationships to private banks, says study  Business StandardPublic sector banks, weighed down by their respective non-performing assets (NPAs), are losing lead banking relationships with Indian corporate entities to their ...
Schools 'intimidated' into dropping LGBT inclusive relationship lessons  Metro.co.ukMore than 70 schools are facing 'pressure and intimidation' as protests against LGBT relationship lessons are 'growing across the country', a Labour MP has ...
'Fire Emblem: Three Houses' Doubles Down on Relationships (And It Rules)  VICE'Fire Emblem: Three Houses' focuses on the best part of the Fire Emblem formula: its character growth.
5 Reasons Why Getting Involved In A Rebound Relationship Is The Worst Thing You Can Do After A Breakup  YourTangoIf you've just gone through a breakup, here are some reasons why you should absolutely avoid jumping into a rebound relationship, no matter how tempting it ...
Chicago Fire: Best & Worst Relationships, Ranked | ScreenRant  Screen RantChicago Fire's many romantic relationships range from utterly forgettable to downright heartwarming. Here they are ranked from worst to best.
“You can't automate a relationship” | Insurance Business  Insurance Business AustraliaTaking just a cursory look at Rivers Insurance's website will reveal that the multilocation brokerage is doing things a little differently compared to many other ...
Chelsea in the unusual position of having the right relationships in place  The Pride of LondonThe show is about to begin for Chelsea FC, and the nervous excitement is reaching unfamiliar levels. Surely no one is more eager than Frank Lampard.
PSBs losing lead bank relationships to private counterparts, says study  Business StandardThe public sector banks, weighed down with huge non-performing assets (NPAs), are losing their lead banking relationships with Indian corporates to their ...
How Your Dad Affects Your Relationships with Men  Psychology TodayLike most daughters, you've probably wondered at some point in your life how your dad has influenced your relationships with men. What impact does he have ...
Tana Mongeau brutally calls out the media for its sexist and biphobic coverage of her relationships with Bella Thorne and Jake Paul  indy100YouTube's Tana Mongeau has called out the media for its sexist and biphobic coverage of her relationships. She described how when dating actor Bella Thorne, ...
People Tend to Date Their ‘Type’ Even After Awry Relationships: Study  News18If you are moving from one bad romantic relationship to another, blame it on the human tendency to look for the same type of person over and over again while ...
Poor quality social relationships linked to bone loss in postmenopausal women  Medical XpressPoor quality social relationships that contribute to psychosocial stress may be associated with bone loss in postmenopausal women, suggests research ...
Will Shawn Mendes And Camila Cabello Confirm They're Dating? Fans Eagerly Awaiting...  Capital FMShawn Mendes and Camila Cabello have stayed silent on reports they're dating for weeks, but they're yet to confirm their relationship.
What Venus Signs Say About Relationships - Venus Compatibility  Cosmopolitan.comHow to find your Venus sign, know how astrologically and romantically compatible you are.
Earthquakes and Relationships  Psychology TodayInterviews of men and women near the epicenter of the Ridgecrest earthquakes: What was the impact of the quakes on their relationships?
Why A Hot Relationship Runs Cold  Psychology TodayWhy the love of your life might turn out to be the bane of your existence.
Do You Have a Generous Relationship?  The New York TimesThese four questions can help you determine how your relationship rates on the generosity scale.
5 tips for building healthy relationships with people  Hindustan TimesRelationships can be tricky, but with the right advice, you can help create positive relationships with your friends and family.
Handle With Care: Apologies Can Save Customer Relationships -- Or Backfire  ForbesApologies, while potentially effective, are not a cure-all and not all the same. In fact, a poorly delivered apology can be worse than none at all, a study involving ...
Can We Change the Way We Remember Romantic Relationships?  Psychology TodayDo you tend to dwell on the negative aspects of past relationships and forget the positive? This is neither automatic nor necessary, and you can change it.
Acceptance of same-sex relationships slowing down in UK, report suggests  The IndependentLiberal Britain may have reached its peak, with the proportion of people who say they are completely comfortable with same-sex relations having fallen for the ...
Relationship Advice To Improve Effective Communication Skills Through Listening | Dr. Barbara Winter  YourTangoCommunication is vital in relationships and to learn how to communicate with your partner effectively, you need to brush up on your listening skills.
'Euphoria' Star on Portraying Abusive Teen Relationships, Choking Scene  Hollywood ReporterAlexa Demie, who stars as Maddy Perez on HBO's 'Euphoria,' took a starring turn on the boundary-pushing drama's fifth episode on Sunday as her character ...
General Hospital: 5 Best & 5 Worst Relationships, Ranked  Screen RantGeneral Hospital is one of the most prominent Soap Operas around and filled to the brim with relationships, both good and bad.
California Legislature Moves Forward with Bill to Redefine Independent Contractor Relationships  JD SupraOn July 10, 2019, the California Senate Labor, Public Employment, and Retirement Committee (Committee) advanced a proposed legislative response to the ...
Scholarship Program Bridges Generations, Builds Relationships  Voice of AmericaFredric Roi Marquez joined a program to serve food to people at a Washington, D.C. retirement community when he was 15 years old. By doing so, the high ...
Duchess Meghan Gives Honest Response After Pharrell Praises Her and Prince Harry’s Public Relationship  Us WeeklyDuchess Meghan told Pharrell 'they don't make it easy' after the singer praised her and Prince Harry's relationship — watch.
'You just feel so alone': violence in same-sex relationships in the shadows  Sydney Morning HeraldNSW is home to the only court support program for people in violent same-sex relationships, but a cut in government funding leaves vulnerable people at risk.
Here's How To Tell If You & Your SO Are Equally Invested In Your Love  Elite DailySo much of a relationship is finding a middle ground for both you and your partner's wants and needs — a balance between the way you spend your time, your ...
People Tell Us How QAnon Destroyed Their Relationships  VICEWe spoke to people who told us how the QAnon conspiracy theory ruined their marriage, turned their parents into completely different people, and otherwise ...
Florida education news: Bonuses, student relationships, weapon training and more  Tampa Bay TimesBONUSES: Still waiting to see if you qualify for a piece of the $15.5 million settlement of a Best and Brightest discrimination lawsuit? Lawyers for the two sides ...
NC Guard Engineers work on Building Projects and Relationships in Botswana  DVIDSMore than 170 Army and Air Guardsmen from North Carolina, Alabama and New Jersey are training in partnership with their Botswana Defense Force ...
SLC mayoral candidates promise a reset on relationships with Utah’s Capitol Hill  KSTU FOX 13 Salt Lake CitySALT LAKE CITY -- At their only televised debate, the eight candidates for mayor each vied to stand out from the pack. The forum, sponsored by the Pioneer Park ...
Kendall Jenner Is Not Here for Your Memes About Her NBA Exes  Sports IllustratedKendall Jenner somewhat cleared the air about her dating history with NBA players on Tuesday when responding to a meme on Twitter.
Mad Men: 5 Best (& 5 Worst) Relationships | ScreenRant  Screen RantMad Men, the TV drama set in the 1960s NYC advertising world, had plenty of strong, well-drawn relationships. We rank the best and worst pairings.
If Your Relationship Has These 9 Characteristics, Experts Say You'll Last The Test Of Time  BustleWhat makes a relationship work for the long-term can seem pretty elusive, as though some couples get sprinkled with a magic "forever' dust, while others have a ...
How "Fragilizing" Is Harming Your Relationships  Refinery29Imagine your friend invites you to go to a party that is absolutely not going to be your scene. The problem is, they're dying to go. In the past when you've bailed ...
How arousal impacts physiological synchrony in relationships  Science DailyA team of researchers has examined what type of social interaction is required for people to display physiological synchrony -- mutual changes in autonomic ...
Why Do Relationships End? 7 Things Therapists Want You To Know About Common Causes Of Breakups  BustleWhile you may be able to guess some common causes of breakups, there are things therapists want you to know about why these things can result in the end of ...
Relationship advice: Strange dating trend, mindset ruining your love life  NEWS.com.auIf you listen to any number of love songs, dating “experts” or plunge head first into a romance novel, you're likely to think it's in our destiny to find that special ...
Hayden Panettiere and Brian Hickerson's Complete Relationship Timeline  ELLE.comLast summer, news broke that Hayden Panettierre and Wladimir Klitschko, her former boyfriend and father of her daughter, Kaya, had split. Shortly after, the paps ...
Amala Paul reveals that she is in a relationship: True love healed me  India TodayAmala Paul is upbeat about her upcoming film Aadai, in which she has taken up a bold role. Directed by Rathna Kumar, the film is all set to hit the theatres on ...
If You Need Space In Relationships, You're Likely 1 Of These 5 Zodiac Signs  BustleSome couples seem almost inseparable as they travel together, eat most meals in each other's company, and attend social events with the other in tow.
Tana Mongeau calls out 'biphobic' press coverage of her relationships with Bella Thorne and Jake Paul  We The UnicornsTana Mongeau and Jake Paul just revealed their engagement following Tana's split from Bella Thorne. Now Tana is calling out the 'biphobic' coverage of her ...
4 Zodiac Signs Who Won't Rush Into Relationships But Are Worth The Wait  Elite DailyWhether you need to go on 19 dates before deciding how you really feel about someone or you like to wait six months to officially DTR, sometimes building a ...
Delhi HC dismisses petition seeking recognition of LGBT relationships, rights to marriage, adoption and...  FirstpostDelhi HC dismissed a petition seeking directions to make rules, regulation to recognise LGBT community members' relationships including marriage, adoption, ...
If You Rush Into Relationships, You're Likely 1 Of These 4 Zodiac Signs  BustleDepending on who you are, and what your zodiac sign is, when you meet someone you really like romantically, it can be difficult not to want to jump into things ...
Wildfires disrupt moth-flower relationships, increasing risk of extinctions  UPI NewsNew research in Portugal suggests wildfires disrupt unique relationships between flowers and the specialized moths that pollinate them.
Anthropologists Hid African Same-Sex Relationships  JSTOR DailySex between people of the same gender has existed for millennia. But anthropologists in sub-Saharan Africa often ignored or distorted those relationships.
Three Women by Lisa Taddeo review – an honest account of sexual relationships  The GuardianA painstaking study of the sex and love lives of three women confirms grim truths about desire and power.
Queensland teacher who had violent, sexual relationship with student banned from working  7NEWSA Queensland teacher who had a violent sadomasochistic, sexual relationship with a teenage student has been banned from working in schools for eight years.
7 signs that your relationship is emotionally draining you  Business InsiderINSIDER reached out to mental health experts to learn about signs that indicate a relationship has gone from being fulfilling to emotionally draining.
Since #MeToo, colleges crack down on romantic relationships between professors and students  The Philadelphia InquirerAdvocates for more prohibitive policies cite a power differential between professors and students that makes romance fraught with potential for abuse or ...
3 things we can learn about relationships from Toronto's love affair with Kawhi Leonard  CBC SportsA clinical psychologist offers advice to move forward with.
Mad About You: 10 Quotes About Relationships That Prove It Was Ahead of Its Time  Screen RantWhile Seinfeld and Friends are the most well-known sitcoms from the 1990s, there was another series that deserves a lot of attention, and that's Mad About You.
People Are Tweeting About How "Midsommar" Gets Bad Relationships Exactly Right And Boyfriends Everywhere Are Sweating  BuzzFeedWanna know what the polar opposite of a good date movie is? It's this.
Here's How The Cancer-Capricorn Eclipses Will Affect Your Relationships  Elite DailyEclipses are catalysts for change, so there's no doubt you'll experience the effects firsthand. Now, if you thought July was chaotic, just wait until you see how the ...
5 Books About Relationships & Love To Read During A Rough Patch, According To Couples Therapists  BustleAre you and your partner having trouble? I've got five book recommendations from couples therapists for relationships going through a rough patch. Whether ...
8 devastating breakup mementos from the Museum of Broken Relationships  Toronto LifeIn the early aughts, Dražen Grubišić and Olinka Vištica sat together at their kitchen table, as they'd done almost every night for the past four years. But this time ...
How a Turbulent Relationship and Professional Ennui Inspired Indie Game 'Sea of Solitude'  Hollywood ReporterThe inception of indie game 'Sea of Solitude' is deeply personal for creator Cornelia Geppert, stemming from her own romantic relationships and frustrations ...
These 4 Zodiac Signs Are Least Likely To Be Supportive In Relationships, According To Astrologers  BustleSome people are naturally the kind of partner who will be there to listen to your story about a stressful incident at work or give comfort after you have a fight with ...
Experts Say These Are The 7 Stressful Situations All Long-Term Couples Deal With Behind Closed Doors  BustleIt's easy to start questioning your relationship when you notice it's not as picture perfect as you always hoped it would be. Comparing your relationship to others ...
Is your relationship serious or casual? Find out  FeminaWhen you have been dating for a while, you wait for the natural progression, and tend to wonder whether it is heading in the right direction. You also tend to ...
Having smooth trading relationship is in mutual interest of India, US: Indian envoy  Economic TimesTrade tensions between India and the US have been rising with Trump complaining on Twitter that tariffs imposed by New Delhi on American products were "no ...
Differences between Prince Harry's and Prince William's relationships  INSIDERAlthough they are both married to princes, Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton seem to have quite different relationships with their husbands. For starters ...
What 17 men wish their partners would do more of in relationships  cosmopolitan.com (UK)A bunch of men who date women took to Reddit recently to get very real about what they wish their partners would do more in their relationships. We're not sure ...
Being in a Polyamorous Relationship Made Me Better at Monogamy  Allure MagazineBeing in a polyamorous relationship with my boyfriend and his wife actually taught me a lot about relationships in general, and prepared me for my current ...
Signs your relationship won’t result in marriage, even if it’s great  FeminaWhen you get comfortable in your relationship, you get lured into the temptation of thinking that this would be your forever. You almost hope for it or start wishing ...
'Abuse Is a Pattern.' Why These Nations Took the Lead in Criminalizing Controlling Behavior in Relationships  TIMEFour years after England and Wales introduced legislation on "coercive control," the law is transforming how society sees domestic abuse.
Feel Bored in Marriage? Keep This Relationship Advice in Mind  FatherlyBoredom can creep into any marriage. The key is to notice it and take measures to prevent it. Here's the relationship advice to keep in mind.
What Is A Polyamorous Throuple? Facts On The Relationship Type  Hollywood LifeWillow Smith got major attention when she revealed she's interested in being a part of a polyamorous throuple on 'Red Table Talk' on June 24. Here are five ...
Birmingham school row: 'We must teach LGBT relationships'  BBC NewsThe head teacher of a school at the centre of a row over educating children about diverse relationships has called for more government support.
Fossils reveal special relationship between humans, monkeys 12,000 years ago - The Jakarta Post  Jakarta PostHumans and animals have coexisted for millennia, but the story of when or how relationships form between them is buried deep in time under layers of soil and ...
Why Toronto needs to rethink its relationships with two pillars of 'local government'  TVOANALYSIS: The city has launched a governance review in response to last year's cut to council. According to a new research paper, it should take a serious look ...
Portland school board nearly finished with policy on appropriate teacher, student relationships  OregonLiveThe Blanchard Education *Service* Center, 501 N. Dixon St., houses the central offices for Portland Public Schools. 0. By Eder Campuzano | The Oregonian/ ...
'It was accept our relationship or lose a daughter'  BBC NewsVicky Trimble says she was surprised by her father's wording.
Billionaire Les Wexner Regrets Epstein Relationship, Calls Allegations ‘Egregious’ And ‘Sickening’  ForbesTopline: Leslie Wexner, the 81-year-old billionaire chief executive behind L Brands (a retail portfolio including Victoria's Secret) made his first comments on his ...

Getting More From Dating, Romantic Relationships, and Marriage

Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a... Read More

For Soul Mates: Will you grow or stagnate? Divine Source through Barbara Rose

Some soul mate couples refuse to grow. They refuse to... Read More

How to Increase Romance with Humor

Ask any single adult what qualities he or she wants... Read More

Spouse Improvement: Influence Your Partner to Change in Just 7 Steps

Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner.... Read More

Bring Back the Cilice Belt

Among Dan Brown's many accomplishments is bringing the cilice belt... Read More

Jewish Dating: It Pays to Date Other Like-Minded People

Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's... Read More

Will They or Will They Not Cheat?

Have you ever told your partner or spouse how you... Read More

Power Struggle!

The greatest asset we have in human existence is our... Read More

Are Men and Women Really from Different Planets?

Are men really from Mars, and women from Venus?'what women... Read More

Lingerie Buying Advice For Guys

Buying lingerie for your lover can be one of the... Read More

Parasitic Relationship

Something in my life is weighing heavily on my mind,... Read More

Infidelity: Spying is NOT Revenge

Do not use what you find on your cheating spouse... Read More

All About Soul Mates

1. How do I know when I've met my Soul... Read More

Relationship Advice - 10 Ways to Put Sizzle Back in Your Relationship

It seems that no matter how much we love someone,... Read More

Like Father

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5,... Read More

Improve Your Relationships Through Vastu

Do you want be in a relationship that brings you... Read More

How to Choose Your Life Partner?

You have reached the age where you can start thinking... Read More

The Man - Truth of The Visual Being

The article What Turns Them On explained about how men... Read More

Celebrate Friendship Day with Fresh Flowers!

Send flowers this Friendship Day, Sunday, August 7th! Across the... Read More

Dangerous Relationship?

I will in this article cover some of my own... Read More

Q & A: Reuniting With a Lost Love

>1. Who are the prime candidates to rekindle a romance?The... Read More

10 Things You Probably Didnt Know About Signs of Infidelity

Certain things about signs of infidelity come as a surprise... Read More

Should I Give Up Me To Not Lose You?

How far can you afford to bend your values to... Read More

The Battle of the Sexes!

During my personal experiences with some of my relationships, I... Read More

A Gift From the Heart of a Friend

She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A... Read More