So you're sitting there on the phone, trying to talk to your girlfriend or boyfriend whom you haven't seen in a while and you're trying to keep things interesting by talking about the days events, how much you miss each other, etc.
So far so good...people who know me know that I approve of anything that is positive. But to be honest, this might not be enough. It's human nature to get bored, to let things become routine, and before you know it the fire starts to fizzle. This is one of the biggest challenges of a long-distance relationship. However, we do know of one very helpful solution to your problems: playful, innocent phone sex.
It's all about the sex Baby!
People are sexual by nature, and phone sex is a great way to express this sexuality without being physical and is especially useful for couples in long distance relationships. Since you two cannot be physical with each other, this is a great way to connect with each other on a totally different level. Since its not physial, you're focusing, and hence improving, on the sensual aspect of your relationship and increasing desire for the physical aspect.
By enjoying proper phone sex with each other, the two of you will become more aware of each other's sexual desires, learn about each other's sexual fantasies, and learn not be shy with your significant other. Not only that, but you'll have fun and hopefully get some pleasure out of the experience. Most importantly, your relationship will get a much-needed kick in the back.
So, how do we even do this?
Glad you asked. Now, some couples will be ready to get right into it and find that enjoying phone sex comes more natural than they think. However, when my girlfriend and I first decided to try phone sex, we weren't sure about our comfort level nor what we were doing. Instead of talking dirty over the phone on day 1, we tried an approach that lets you gradually build up confidence and comfort. It worked for us, but if you're BOTH willing, the other strategy will work just as well for you.
Involved in a long-distance relationship relationship ourselves, my girlfriend and I started out by telling each other stories online. We would take turns telling a sexual story about us, in a "I had a dream about"-like fashion. Online is particularly convenient because since you're not on the phone, you have more time to think about something that turns you on and your voice doesn't sound nervous.
Be creative. Think of real-life situations and fantasies that would drive you wild if they came true. This is your chance to be both realistic and unrealistic. If you catch yourself bored, write down some ideas for stories or scenarios you want to try with your partner, and implement them once you get online or on the phone. Try to feed off of each other's likes and pay attention to dislikes. Use as many details as possible, even the tiniest make a difference. Try not to talk about things you two would never try sexually in person.
Practice online through messaging if you'd like, and once you're ready, get on that phone. I actually prefer to do it this way ...some time online, weeks maybe, then on the phone, then mix it up. It adds variety and gives you more options. Once on the phone, you can add voice tricks, such as practicing sexy sounds. Practice those soft pleasurable moans [especially if you're a girl]: couple that with a good story and you can't lose. Its great because both of you will feel turned on by the phone sex.
If possible, take advantage of webcams, web sounds, and combine them with phones. You'll find that as time goes on, your inhibitions are thrown to the wind...go with it! Keep it going and turn up the heat on your relationship. For you guys out there, it beats porn, and girls, you might get more turned on by your long-distance boyfriend then your friends are by their local boy toys. You don't have to worry about performing (physically) sexually and the only thing holding you back here is your own imagination. So what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone.
Timothy Winters is a writer who specializes in interpersonal relations. He has written several articles concerning relationships, dating, friendship and other related topics for http://www.thecollegeguys.com