How realistic are we?

So often when we think of our ideal mate we give them qualities and attributes that one person may or may not be able to possess. These qualities can be how they look, how they treat us, to something like what kind of job that they have. Are these ideas realistic? Sometimes yes, and sometimes we are way off the mark. A good exercise may be to write down these ideals and see how realistic we are.

By writing down the characteristics we desire in a potential partner we can learn a lot about ourselves. We often look for characteristics in another person that we do not have. Are we looking for someone stable? Are we looking for someone who has equal professional success that we do? Going through the exercise of writing down as many qualities and characteristics helps us to look and see if we are being reasonable.

Personally speaking, I adore tall, dark-haired men, and if they are balding, all the better. Does that mean that I should look only for tall, dark haired men? Most likely, it just means that I like them the best, and that I shouldn't eliminate everyone else in the dating pool. If I would have stuck to this thought, I would have had about 1/10th of the dates that I have had.

Once you write everything down that you want and desire, you can see are you looking for good qualities in a person, or simply someone to hang on your arm. My guess is that we would easily trade in a few of those superficial qualities for good character traits in a person. Another thing you may benefit from is just by looking, at your list and reviewing past interests.

By reviewing past interests you can see if you are dating people that have qualities that you desire. If you value honesty, and find that you are dating people that aren't as honest as what you like, you need to readjust your radar, and start looking for people who have the characteristics you want.

By writing down qualities you want in another person, you can tell what you really want and desire. You can also make adjustments and see that are you cultivating relationships with those who have those qualities. It may also be a useful tool in a current relationship to see how that other person measures up. Knowing what you want, is always beneficial when it comes to a relationship, take time out to discover what you want, and decide if you're being reasonable.

Stephanie Manley is the editor for Copykat.com, and also writes a variety of articles at http://romancelessons.blogspot.com.

In The News:

How to Mend a Work Relationship  Harvard Business Review

Communicate through Body-language!

Consider a person very important to you. He or she... Read More

Relationships That Really Last: Is This the Secret?

In my e-book, How to Build Relationships That Stick, I... Read More

Honesty Accepted - Deception Denied

We've all done it at one time or another, or... Read More

Importance Of Background In A Relationship

Should coming from the same background be a major issue... Read More

Charisma, Love and Health

This is an amazing story. It's about my friend Robert.... Read More

True Friendships - How to Get True Friends and Friendships

True Friendship - RecognitionHow can we find true friendships in... Read More

The Secret Power of Romance and How It Can Work for You

There are some men who will never understand the importance... Read More

Why We Chose The Person We Love

"Those who do not remember the past are condemned to... Read More

Warning Signs He / She May Not Be The One

We've all looked back on past relationships and said, "What... Read More

What Does a Dangerous Man Look Like?

When you are dating you try to keep from a... Read More

Relationship Problems: Whats Your Contribution?

As the story goes, there was once a farmer and... Read More

Extra-marital Affairs...Yes or No!!!

Extra-marital Affairs?Yes or No!!! (Think and Tell)"Human Relations", a complex... Read More

Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 1 The Nothing Syndrome

We've all heard the stories. The princess finds her prince... Read More

Do Men Just Want Mommy?

Accomplished women are losers in romance claims NY Times columnist... Read More

Infidelity Excuse: I Fell Out of Love... and Just Love Being in Love

I find this dilemma rather common for younger couples, probably... Read More

Relationship Advice: Voices of Experience on the Radio

A few years back I was on a radio talk... Read More

Interview with Tigress Luv: How To Get Over A Breakup

Recently I had the opportunity to interview my personal favorite... Read More

Pen Pal Romance

We have all heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen... Read More

27 Characteristics of Loving Men

Every woman dreams of meeting that special man that knows... Read More

Anniversary Blues

Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their... Read More

Great Relatinship Advice: The Ability to Create a Vision for Your Relationship

Many of us stumble into marriage and then continue to... Read More

Setting Boundaries: Business Clients and Boyfriends

Setting boundaries is necessary in any human relationship.Whether you're dealing... Read More

The Friend Who Taught Me

Knowing her day can be dreadfully tiresome when she mounts... Read More

The Five Minute Relationship Miracle

"They may forget what you said, but they will never... Read More

What Is A Boundary In A Relationship?

You might ask yourself, I have heard this word boundary,... Read More