So often when we think of our ideal mate we give them qualities and attributes that one person may or may not be able to possess. These qualities can be how they look, how they treat us, to something like what kind of job that they have. Are these ideas realistic? Sometimes yes, and sometimes we are way off the mark. A good exercise may be to write down these ideals and see how realistic we are.
By writing down the characteristics we desire in a potential partner we can learn a lot about ourselves. We often look for characteristics in another person that we do not have. Are we looking for someone stable? Are we looking for someone who has equal professional success that we do? Going through the exercise of writing down as many qualities and characteristics helps us to look and see if we are being reasonable.
Personally speaking, I adore tall, dark-haired men, and if they are balding, all the better. Does that mean that I should look only for tall, dark haired men? Most likely, it just means that I like them the best, and that I shouldn't eliminate everyone else in the dating pool. If I would have stuck to this thought, I would have had about 1/10th of the dates that I have had.
Once you write everything down that you want and desire, you can see are you looking for good qualities in a person, or simply someone to hang on your arm. My guess is that we would easily trade in a few of those superficial qualities for good character traits in a person. Another thing you may benefit from is just by looking, at your list and reviewing past interests.
By reviewing past interests you can see if you are dating people that have qualities that you desire. If you value honesty, and find that you are dating people that aren't as honest as what you like, you need to readjust your radar, and start looking for people who have the characteristics you want.
By writing down qualities you want in another person, you can tell what you really want and desire. You can also make adjustments and see that are you cultivating relationships with those who have those qualities. It may also be a useful tool in a current relationship to see how that other person measures up. Knowing what you want, is always beneficial when it comes to a relationship, take time out to discover what you want, and decide if you're being reasonable.
Stephanie Manley is the editor for Copykat.com, and also writes a variety of articles at http://romancelessons.blogspot.com.