Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
Love is Not Supposed to Hurt > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

Love is Not Supposed to Hurt

Questions and Answers:

I often feel sad in my relationship, what can I do about it?

I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells, is that normal?

I feel different from how I used to feel, like I've lost my sense of self. Why?

What can I do if my partner switches demeanors like Jekyll and Hyde?

How can I stop my boyfriend from humiliating me, degrading me, and putting me down?

Here are your answers:

I often feel sad in my relationship, what can I do about it?

If you feel sad in your relationship most, if not all of the time, then it is time that you really asked yourself if this relationship is bringing you joy MOST of the time. Get really honest with yourself, and tell yourself the truth. That's the first place to start. Can you communicate with your partner? Is he responsive? Does he make an effort to really listen to you and honor your feelings or not?

If he's not, then that would explain why you feel sad most of the time, because you have valid feelings, and they are not being honored. So first YOU have to honor your feelings, and then take a good, clear look at the way the relationship is RIGHT NOW, the way it is MOST of the time, not the few times you experience joy, but the majority of the time. If you are in pain "often" and most of the time, then you have to find the courage to either really work it out with your partner, and if you cannot, because your needs and feelings are not really honored, then it is time that YOU honored your feelings, and know one thing: that you do not have to remain miserable. You can get professional counseling together, and really open up. If he is not willing to do that with you, then he is not willing to make it work with you. So what are your two options? Stay miserable, or make a complete break so that you can heal, and then attract a new partner that will be extremely good to you. This is your choice, so please do what you know in your heart is true for you.

I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells, is that normal?

No, it is not normal, it is painful, and love is NOT supposed to hurt! Who told you that you have to put up with uncertainty, and living with a person that causes you to feel like a nervous wreck, always wondering if you are going to set him off? This is living with sickness. "Normal" people openly discuss whatever is bothering them, and come to mutually agreeable solutions.

In a normal relationship, one that is sane, you feel free to be yourself completely. You are never worried about "getting it wrong" or "messing up" because you know that you are loved and respected, cared about, adored, and that your feelings matter as much as his.

If you feel like you are walking on eggshells, then I wholeheartedly advise you to walk out of the relationship, and leave the broken shells of bad memories behind you, where they belong. No one can do this "for" you. This is your life, and only you can decide if this is the life you really want to live, and what you really prefer in a relationship, or if you would prefer something a lot more loving, where you feel safe, rather than constantly worried.

I do promise you that once you get really honest with yourself, and honor your real feelings, you are on the road to a much happier life, and you can do a lot of reading, inner healing, restoring, and coming into a place within where you become your own best friend. It is then that you will be ready to attract someone into your life who has the capacity to treat you the way any human being deserves to be treated. Where the only eggshells you see are when he brings you breakfast, because he loves you.

I feel different from how I used to feel, like I've lost my sense of self. Why?

Why? The answer is because you are being treated more like an object where if something goes wrong it is blamed on you, rather than being respected completely without blame and criticism.

If you feel like you have lost your sense of self, then you have probably been twisting yourself in every conceivable direction to be or feel good enough for the person that you are with. Are you told what to do? Are you watched? Yelled at? Insulted? Put down? Criticized?

When we have been put down, we do feel our real self somehow sliding away, especially in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship. Sometimes we don't even notice it happening. We just begin to feel less confident, less desirable, less than we used to feel. This is what abuse does, it chips away at our sense of self, and before long, we've forgotten what it feels like to feel whole and complete and good enough again.

So if you're with someone that treats you in a degrading manner, someone that puts you down, someone that is kind and then mean, back and forth, then it's time to get off the see saw and plant yourself on solid ground with a firm decision as to what you are going to allow in your life, and how you are going to allow yourself to be treated.

You must decide how you really want to be treated, and only settle for that. You are NOT here to be degraded. No human being deserves to be degraded. So in order to gain your sense of self back, you have to know what you want, what you prefer, how you would rather feel, and put yourself in the position to walk away completely from anyone that treats you less than how you know you want to be treated.

When a person has clear boundaries, they do not allow them to be crossed. Your boundaries are your preferences. Create your boundaries, and you will be able to begin to feel a sense of what you really deserve. Then, only settle for that and nothing less, ever.

What can I do if my partner switches demeanors like Jekyll and Hyde?

Sister, (or Brother) run for your life, and never look back! Just keep going forward in one clear direction, far, far away from this person, because if you don't then YOU will feel like you are going insane.

You cannot fix or heal another person's psychological issues to your own detriment. Jekyll and Hyde is living with insanity, which will only make YOU feel insane. And I really mean what I say here.

How can I stop my boyfriend from humiliating me, degrading me, and putting me down?

You can't, dear one. He is the way he is. The question is when are you going to walk? How much more do you have to be humiliated, degraded and put down? Do you want to take it for a few more minutes, weeks, what about another ten years? Some people take it for the rest of their lives. Others leave at the first sign of abuse. Right after the first humiliating, degrading put down. They leave because they know this is the person's nature, and we cannot change another person. If someone is an abuser, they give abuse. Do you give abuse? No, you do not. Do you give it in self defense? If you are continuing to allow abuse in your life, this is a very sad life to live.

To better answer your question, the only way you can stop your boyfriend from humiliating you, degrading you, and putting you down is when you end your relationship with this person. Until that time, expect more of the same. Has it permanently changed? Does he change for a few days, maybe a week or so, only to go back to the same old pattern? If your answer is yes, then you can expect the same pattern to continue, as surely as you can expect that an apple tree will continue to give you apples. It will not give you bananas, or peaches. Its nature will not change.

For all of the above questions and answers, I must assure you that love is not supposed to hurt. Love feels wonderful. It feels safe, steady, certain, and predictable. "Excitement" comes from going away together, not from break-up, make-up sex. Love is the most beautiful and wonderful experiences on earth. Everybody deserves to experience real love. I hope that you will allow yourself to experience what it feels like to begin to love yourself. Then, and only then, will you be able to attract someone into your life who will love you the way you want to be loved. It is first an inside job, between you and yourself. Then you can experience this with another person, as this is the essence of what every human being on earth wants to feel, and with enough self love, every person one day will.

© Copyright by Barbara Rose

Barbara Rose is an internationally recognized expert in the field of personal transformation and spiritual/human potential. A pioneering force in incorporating Higher Self Communication the study and integration of humanity's God-Nature into modern personal growth and spiritual evolution. Bestselling author of Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE, If God Was Like Man, and Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth and Your Life. Her public speaking events, tele-seminars, webcasts, articles and private intensives have transformed the lives of thousands across the globe.

Barbara is known for providing life-changing answers, quick practical coaching and deep spiritual wisdom to people worldwide. She is the founder of IHSC ? Institute of Higher Self Communication, inspire! Magazine, Rose Humanitarian Alliance, and The Rose Group publishing company. Barbara works in cooperation with some of the greatest spiritual leaders of our time, to uplift the spiritual consciousness of humanity. Visit her website: http://www.borntoinspire.com

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

New York Times

Norway Apologizes, 70 Years Later, to Women Who Had Relationships With WWII Germans
New York Times
LONDON — In a national reckoning with its past, the Norwegian government has offered an official apology to women — and their offspring — who were ostracized, stigmatized and in some cases deported because of their relationships with German soldiers ...

and more »

KEVN Black Hills Fox

Rebound Relationships: Friday's Focus on Fatherhood
KEVN Black Hills Fox
"So allowing yourself time to recover, to process to deal with the grief, to get your own economic, financial, and emotional house in order first; before we initiate future relationships, not only is better for the kids, it's better for the parents ...


Victoria Advocate

Zoo Connection: The value of building relationships with animals
Victoria Advocate
Building a relationship takes time. Pete spent any spare moment with Bandit. He would sit with him, play with him and scratch him. Bandit liked that a lot. Pete also started to take him to other areas in the zoo to let him explore, like the new ...


Psychology Today (blog)

Relationship Sanity
Psychology Today (blog)
Put simply, insane relationships are relationships that have not achieved balance in giving and receiving, and, therefore cannot give its participants feelings of safety and of loving and being loved. So, yes, relationship insanity is epidemic. Most of ...


Lexington Herald Leader

How multitasking hurts your relationships
Lexington Herald Leader
How multitasking hurts your relationships. Oct 19, 2018. While multitasking makes it easier to get to the end of your to-do list, doing it habitually can come with a cost. Multitasking causes fatigue and increases stress. Knowing when and where it's ...


Chicago Daily Herald

Conant teacher resigns after allegation of inappropriate relationships
Chicago Daily Herald
Palatine-Schaumburg High School District 211 board member accepted the resignation of a female Conant High School teacher Thursday night amid an investigation into an anonymous allegation that she had inappropriate relationships with students ...

and more »

CBN News

Popular Evangelical University Reinstates Ban on LGBTQ Relationships
CBN News
Azusa Pacific University (APU), the first Christian university on the West Coast, raised brows earlier this year after it reversed its policy on banning public LGBTQ relationships on campus. However, the Board of Trustees said they never approved the ...

and more »

Yakima Herald-Republic

Our Relationship: Charlotte and Lloyd Cook
Yakima Herald-Republic
“One day when we were 12, I was not feeling well and Lloyd helped me finish my row and fill up the boxes in my carrier. I thought what a serious, mature fellow he was. He reminded me of my good father,” Charlotte wrote in a summary of their relationship.


WJON News

Murder Investigation Turns To Suspect's Past Relationships
WJON News
RICE -- Authorities are looking further into the past of the man who allegedly killed a 7-month-old boy from Rice. The Benton County Sheriff's Office is looking to identify and interview any women who may have been in a significant relationship with 29 ...
Sheriff Wants Details of Accused Child Killer's Past RelationshipsKNSI Radio
Sheriff seeks details about infant murder suspect's past relationshipsSt. Cloud Times

all 6 news articles »

WRTV Indianapolis

City focused on building stronger relationships
WRTV Indianapolis
LAWRENCE, Ind. -- As the city of Lawrence continues to grow, so does the Hispanic population living in the area. Now, a new crime prevention director is pushing to build stronger relationships and trust between the Latino community and the Lawrence ...

Google News

What is Abuse?

Violence in the family often follows other forms of more... Read More

The Fine Art of Flirting

Did you know that it is not necessarily your looks... Read More

How To Save Your Marriage

Getting married (or beginning an intimate relationship) is, in a... Read More

Nip Verbal Abuse in the Bud

So often in a new relationship we learn the dynamic... Read More

Great Relationships: What to Do When You Have Drifted Apart

Picture, if you will, the following scene:A man and woman,... Read More

Love Advice: Let Fate Decide?

One of the most commonly asked questions, What is Love?... Read More

Daisies A Story About Life

"I love daisies too," she told him several nights after... Read More

Communicate What You Feel: How to be Understood By Those You Love

Good communication is of fundamental importance in intimate relationships. The... Read More

Relationship Advice: Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair

"But we're just friends" are four of the most dangerous... Read More

He Said, She Said

The Relationship TriangleMost people get involved in a relationship for... Read More

Apologizing When We Hurt Our Friends or Partners

In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt... Read More

Cheating Spouse: Is Spying an Invasion of Privacy?

My, how the cheating spouse cries foul when he/she discovers... Read More

What Every Woman Should Know About Men and Romance

Men and women think differently about romance.Men are goal-oriented. They... Read More

What Do the Words ?I Don?t Love You Anymore? Really Mean?

Have you been blindsided by an unhappy spouse who suddenly... Read More

Communicate through Body-language!

Consider a person very important to you. He or she... Read More

Are You Looking for Ms. Right or Mr. Not so Wrong?

Do you want to find the "love of your life?"It's... Read More

Ladies, Is Your Valentine The Cheating Kind?

According to statistics, 50% to 70% of men cheat on... Read More

Relationship Advice: 3 Kinds of Love

There are three kinds of love:love as a feeling, love... Read More

A Gift From the Heart of a Friend

She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A... Read More

7 Power Skills that Build Strong Relationships

A strong, healthy relationship is one in which the partners... Read More

Do Men Just Want Mommy?

Accomplished women are losers in romance claims NY Times columnist... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: How to Get ?All A?s? in Couples Communication

Mark Twain once said that he believed it was "God's... Read More

How to Tell If Your Boyfriend or Husband Is Cheating On You

The word infidelity brings with it fear to every woman... Read More

Interview with Tigress Luv: How To Get Over A Breakup

Recently I had the opportunity to interview my personal favorite... Read More

Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids?

Striking a perfect balance between work and home today can... Read More