3 Principals That Will Keep a Long Lasting Relationship

Many of us have had a broken heart and hurt feeling because the relationship that we had didn't work out. It's ok, we are not made to be a perfect human being but we can learn from our experience and move on toward our future. We make mistakes, we learn and we move on. You can't do anything about your past, it is over, but you can do something about your future by what you do today!

Please keep these principals in mind the next time you start a new relationship with somebody new! These principals will work most of the time and you will see the difference in your current relationship and future relationship if you don't have anybody right now, listen.

Principal number 1, you must forget the past! Especially your past ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, and so on! I have seen this happening over and over again. How a boyfriend talks about his ex-girlfriends every day to his new girlfriend! He keeps discussing about his past with his new girlfriend. Let get this straight and let me be firm for a moment, listen to this, "You can't drive and go forward very fast when you keep looking at the rear-view mirror!" Stop it, quit talking about your past, it's done, it's finished, and you can't do anything to bring it back! It's done! It's over! The current person who is with you is now more important than the ones in the past! If you're still holding on to the past, I suggest that you are not qualified to have a new relationship! If you can't respect the person who is being with you today, you're not qualified to be in a relationship with him or her! Instead, talk about your future plan together with the person whom you're being with. Talk about your dreams and goals with him/her together. What you would do together in the future and so on. The future is more exciting than the past, because you still have the chance to get in by what you do today!

Principal number 2, you must learn to forgive! Forgive, forgive, forgive and forgive! None of us are perfect in this world. None of us and every time when we drive on the freeway, sometimes we too make mistakes and we hope that other drivers to forgive our stupidity. I talked to a friend of mine who broke up with her boyfriend. She told me "I had given him 3 chances, to put the toilet paper at the right position, but its strike 3, it's over man!" The man was very nice, but apparently he likes to face the tip of the toilet paper facing the wall. That really irritated her. Plus he didn't like to eat what she likes to eat. Somebody asked me this question, "How about if he is very abusive and not loyal?" My answer was "If someone loves you and respect you, he will never abuse you and be disloyal!" The fact that he is abusive, rude, disloyal and disrespectful; it's the sign that there is no love for you in his heart! To love somebody is to build someone up, support, respect, be loyal, and honor and cherish the other person. Learn to forgive the little things in life, because the little things are the ones that usually get into people. Learn to talk to each other without blaming attitude. No body likes to be blamed or condemned. Learn to say thing with kindness, patient and loving attitude. A kind word is an unkind word unsaid.

Principal number 3, you must have honesty and integrity in your relationship with him or her. There shouldn't be any relationship that is based on lies and dishonestly. Sooner or later what you've been covering will be revealed. There is nothing more irritating than when you find somebody is lying to you. It hurts you, you feel betrayed and it destroys all the trust you have for the other person. The proof of love is pursuit, also the ability to respect the trust that the other person is giving to us. If you can't trust a person, I don't think, you should have any romantic relationship with him/her. Trust is gained through time, it is like putting a coin in the piggy bank, when you do something that will increases the trust that someone has for you, you add another coin to the bank, and when you do something dishonest and break the trust that someone has for you, you withdraw the coin out of your bank. If you keep withdrawing it, soon you won't have any coin left. You won't have anybody trusting you! Once you gain the trust that is given to you by the other person, try to keep it sacred and never ever take it for granted. If someone thinks that he/she can get away with cheating, that person is a foolish person.

I hope this helps. I wish you the best in your current relationship and to find the right person for your life. Remember this, a good communication and true love is like a treasure in every relationship. True love casts away fear, therefore when we feel secured and safe with the person that you're with, you will have a long lasting relationship. "The right words said in the wrong time will become the wrong words."

(C) Copyright Pebden.com 2005, Author: Entjik Jeffrie, All Rights Reserved. For more wisdom and inspiration, go to http://www.pebden.com

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Opinion | Get a fish, not a relationship  University of Pittsburgh The Pitt News

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