Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
Great Relationship Advice: Declaration or Demonstration > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

Great Relationship Advice: Declaration or Demonstration

Q: Could you help us settle a growing conflict in our marriage? I always tell my wife I love her and would do anything in the world for her. That doesn't seem to do it for her. In fact, her response usually is, "talk is cheap. I want you to show me that you love me." I'm not sure what she means, and I need to figure it out fast.

I think I might know where you are stuck. You see, there is a huge difference between declaration and demonstration. In my experience, most men have not made that important distinction, while most women see it as very obvious.

Saying the words "I love you", "You're the most important thing in my life", etc. is a wonderful thing to do. And sometimes it's even enough, especially if your partner's love language is hearing. But if your partner's love language is seeing, (as I'm guessing hers is), talking alone just won't do it.

One of the many places I lived growing up was on the Kansas/Missouri border. In Missouri they have a saying called "show me." I don't know if your wife is from Missouri or not, but it sounds like she is saying "don't just tell, show me!"

The good news is that while most of us men are fairly slow with this stuff, we are trainable. Here's three steps to putting some hands and feet on this declaration vs. demonstration idea:

1) Pay attention - notice what your partner is interested in and talking about.

2) Think ahead - anticipate future needs and take the necessary actions to meet them.

3) Ask your partner these very simple, yet profound questions:

"what does love look like to you?" What you may think it looks like may be way different from what it looks like to her.

"what are three things I need to do on a regular basis to show that I love you?"

"what are three things I need to not do to show you that I love you?"

Whatever the answers, you have the beginning of a map on how to do this demonstration thing.

Remember, declaration is not demonstration. Trying is not doing. Doing is doing. So go do!

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

The Good Men Project (blog)

Men, Develop Lasting Relationships by Shelving Male Expectation Myths
The Good Men Project (blog)
A seventy-five year Harvard study of 724 men, half from Harvard's sophomore class and half from the poorest neighborhoods in Boston, found out that a good healthy long-lived life depended on good satisfying high-quality relationships including partners ...


Questionable relationships
South Bend Tribune
A friend whom I have known for 40-plus years got married for the second time in his life five years ago. At the wedding, some of the bride's relatives told the minister, ''These two should not be married.'' Two years ago, he filed for divorce. In the ...


Creators Syndicate

Questionable Relationships, by Annie Lane | Creators Syndicate
Creators Syndicate
Dear Annie: A friend whom I have known for 40-plus years got married for the second time in his life five years ago. At the wedding, some of the bride's relatives told the minister, "These two should not be married." Two years ago, he filed for divorce ...

and more »

The Guardian

Why do we hold on to first impressions in a relationship?
The Guardian
The book contains a chapter on cognitive dissonance in marriage, which holds this process to be the main culprit in the outcome of relationships. “Misunderstandings, conflicts, personality differences and even angry quarrels are not the assassins of ...


The Independent

The five phases of a relationship | The Independent
The Independent
A survey has revealed the five stages most relationships go through - and what each one entails. Dating site eHarmony conducted a survey on over 1000 Australians to find out when various milestones occur. “There are a lot of commonalities among ...

and more »

The Courier Life News

Extra Effort: Onalaska senior learns to build relationships, trust in self
The Courier Life News
Her freshman year, the family moved to Winona and lived with her mom's boyfriend, but moved out after that relationship ended. “I always told myself it wouldn't be like this forever,” she said. “I kept telling myself things were going to change ...


GMA News

The Museum of Broken Relationship exists to help people move on
GMA News
With the New Year fast approaching, it's time to move on from that devastating breakup and leave the past along with 2017 behind – or at the Museum of Broken Relationships in Croatia, if you get the chance. The brainchild of an artist couple who has ...


The Good Men Project (blog)

Why Society Should Talk About Forced Sex in Intimate Relationships, Too
The Good Men Project (blog)
In the wake of the deluge of news about sexual harassment and alleged assaults by several high-profile and powerful men, it is important to look at the causes and consequences of forced sex in the workplace – but also in intimate relationships ...


Daily Herald

Lehi SEO business leaps ahead through building solid relationships
Daily Herald
“We work with more than 150 companies, and a lot of them are Utah tech companies,” said Bryan Phelps, Big Leap CEO, on Wednesday. “We love the face-to-face interaction with Utah businesses. And we've worked for many of them for years.” Dan Posner, Big ...


Psychology Today (blog)

The Heartbreak of Relationships with Narcissists
Psychology Today (blog)
Narcissus and Echo were tragic Greek characters in a story told by the Roman poet, Ovid, in "Metamorphoses." This poignant myth crystallizes the tragic problem of relationships with narcissists. Sadly, both partners are locked into a painful drama ...

Google News

Two Easy Steps To Finding Joy In All Your Relationships

Usually we enter relationships hoping they will make us happy.... Read More

Dinner Scooped Off the Floor - Why Men Wont Commit

"We strengthen a muscle by using it, and that is... Read More

Romantic Tips ? Gift Giving

I believe that we have all heard of the standard... Read More

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

It's one of the ways you can spot a woman... Read More

Relationship Advice: Top 2 Secret Ways To Become Irresistibly Magnetic To Your Wife

According to new studies 5 out of 10 marriages will... Read More

The Freedom to Fall

So you want a soulmate do you? Okay not necessarily... Read More

Travel to Find a Russian Bride

Do you agree that the best lessons are lessons given... Read More

Dont Ignore the Signs: How Emotional Infidelity Can Ruin Your Relationship

Emotional infidelity can start with a simple hi or a... Read More

Great Relationships: 7 Secrets You Must Know to Make It

1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to... Read More

A Womans World

Women are simply wonderful don't you think? This question is... Read More

Relationship Advice: 10 Tips for a Blissful Relationship

1.Often in marriage, especially in the early years, there is... Read More

Relationship Conflict: The 3 Cs of Resolving Conflict

"And they lived happily ever after.........."Yeah right.Perhaps I'm a little... Read More

7 Steps To Creating A Healthy Relationship

Everything in life, in order to be a success, requires... Read More

Are all Men Unfaithful?

"Men are all the same. Stop looking for Prince Charming,... Read More

Why Some Men Dont Want To Commit

If you are dating, engaged, or still trying to find... Read More

How to Ease the Pain of a Breakup

Whether you do the dumping or you are the one... Read More

Picking Up The Pieces

"My feelings have changed," my boyfriend of five years told... Read More

But Its Just the Guys -- The Importance of Sacrifice in Relationships

If it's a long-term relationship you want, you absolutely must... Read More

To Know You Is To Love You

How do you show someone you love them? Do you... Read More

Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy

Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite... Read More

Are You Ready to Handle an Indigo Child?

So what's new in the world of spirituality and the... Read More

Denial Is Not A River In Egypt

Original it ain't, but it still merits repetition: "Denial is... Read More

Jewish Dating: It Pays to Date Other Like-Minded People

Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's... Read More

What Is Love And The Love Equation

What is Love? This question has bothered me for a... Read More

Whos Watching You? Men Arent The Only Stalkers

For decades, the label "stalker' has been tattooed as a... Read More