An Open Letter to Pope Benedict

Dear Ratzy,

I have a good solution to the clergy abuse scandal rocking your church.

Give them professional level sexual satisfaction for free.

It wouldn't have to be a big deal, just hire a few monastic courtesans, skilled in the art of priestly fulfillment. You would only need one for every 20 or so priests, along with a nice little "confessional" complete with glory hole.

You could create a liturgy for the sessions and it could begin something like this:

"Release me Sister for I am tense. It has been four days since my last emanation."

Sister Candi could then assign the proper penance.

I've even thought through the financial aspects of this.

The Great Cincinnati Archdiocese alone just paid a $120 million settlement to abuse victims. Since there are about 500 priests in the Cincinnati area, that works out to $240,000 per priest.

Ouch! Hope those relics do well at Christy's.

My solution would be much more economical-25 or so "servants" at $50,000 per year each would only take up $1.25 million per year-less than the interest on the $120 mil you just forked over.

Consider how much this would help the church.

I'm sure you will have some argue this is sin. Well, isn't that why you invented the indulgence? You've got the power, use it! You're the guy with the scepter.

Or you could try a second option:


The choice is yours, O Vicar of Christ.

Kevin Scott is the owner of exposing the luncacy going on in the name of Christ. Visit now for a whole new perspective on your faith. You might get mad, but it will surely make you think.

In The News:

The object of religion  Economic Times
Queerness and religion in conversation  University of Cape Town News
Insult, Injury and Religious Liberty  The Wall Street Journal
For a Lot of American Teens, Religion Is a Regular Part of the Public School Day  Pew Research Center's Religion and Public Life Project
Religion in the Public Schools | Pew Research Center  Pew Research Center's Religion and Public Life Project
Religion in the area
DILLON: Reject Religious Hypocrisy  Georgetown University The Hoya
Religious freedom | News, Sports, Jobs  Williamsport Sun-Gazette

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