Stress Managment and Mastery: 7 Ways to Take Yourself Off Restriction

Q. So many times in my life, I seem to hold myself back from what I want to do. I make great plans and have great intentions, but then end up holding myself back in some way. Do you have any suggestions for changing this?

A. When you were a kid, did you ever do something wrong and get put on restrictions? You know, no TV, stay in your room, can't play with friends, for what seemed like an eternity?

What would it be like if we were still on the same restrictions from when we were kids?

It would seem kind of silly, would it not?

And yet we tend to keep ourselves "on restriction" in so many areas of our lives.

These restrictions tend to fall into certain categories. See if any of these fit for you.

1) I can't:

Ask for what I want.

Be successful.

Get the right job.

Stand up for myself.

2) I shouldn't:

Go for what I want.

Act selfish.

Say no.

Think for myself.

3) I'm only:

Good at one thing.

A young person.

An old person.

4) I don't have:

The right genes.

The right connections.

5) I have:

Too much against me.

A bad attitude.

6) They said:

I couldn't do it.

I wouldn't make it.

7) I'm too:

Young, old, fat, thin.

If you recognized yourself in any of these restrictions, don't despair. Look at it this way. When we were kids, parents could put us on restrictions and take us off. But now we are adults. We can take ourselves off restrictions.

How? There are three steps.

1. Question the restriction. Here are some questions to ask:

Does this make sense?

Does this fit in my life?

Does it help me meet my goals?

Does it help me to feel and act the way I want?

If you can't get a yes to any of these questions, it's time to discard the restriction as no longer useful in your life.

2. Make fun of the restriction.

Have you ever gently teased yourself about something in your life? I don't mean in a negative or mean sense. You need to be able to laugh at your own self-imposed limitations.

3. Replace it with an ability.

Here's a general rule about changing restrictions: Never remove a restriction without replacing it with a belief that strengthens you.

Take, for example, one of the statements above: "I can't ask for what I want." After you have questioned and laughed at the restriction, simply replace it with "I can ask for anything I want, I just need to learn how."

See the difference?

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

In The News:

Eat These Foods to Reduce Stress and Anxiety  Health Essentials from Cleveland Clinic
Stress Relief for Overwhelmed Women  Health Essentials from Cleveland Clinic

7 Healthy Ways To Release Holiday Stress

Many people go through the motions during Christmas. If not... Read More

Adventures in Relieving Stress

Whether we are at work, traveling, or at home, we've... Read More

Stress Relief ? A Backyard Hot Tub Is Your Answer

We all know what it's like coming home from a... Read More

Rested? The Three Keys to Finding True Rest, Just in Case

What do you think of when you see that word?... Read More

How to Stop Stress and Overwhelm Quickly!

My work often deals with proactive, preventive means to Overcome... Read More

Stress Management: Holding On Vs. Dropping It

One of the dumbest things I have ever done is... Read More

Music Therapy: Can Music Really Soothe The Savage Beast?

It has long been suggested that "music soothes the savage... Read More

How Are You Achieving Rejuvenation for Peak Performance?

When was the last time that you truly took a... Read More

Stress & Burnout: The Adrenal Factor

I was a psychotherapist for... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: The Value of Vitamin NO

What part of no don't you understand? - Bumper stickerThe... Read More

Choose a Stressless Lifestyle!

A stressless lifestyle? That's very easy to say. Yet it... Read More

Chewing On Mindfulness: Gum Is Your Secret

My grandmother, a feisty and athletic woman in her younger... Read More

Anger Management: Is It Finally Time To Forgive?

In order to free ourselves from the pain of anger... Read More

Conquer Stress and Anxiety Naturally With This Safe and Effective Method

Rhodiola Rosea is the latest natural remedy to join the... Read More

Dealing With Stress in Our Overworked Lives

As small business owners, we often take on more than... Read More

Alleviate Stress Without Pills!

We all have it; we live with it daily: stress.... Read More

Stress Tips

26 ways to minimize and manage the unhealthy effects of... Read More

Stress Relief for Busy Business People - 11 Easy Ways

Make stress less of an issue for you in your... Read More

3 Easy Ways to Reduce Stress

Stress, America's #1 health problem, is a leading cause of... Read More

Coping as a Tool of Enchantment

Many of my readers write to me about the tensions... Read More

Stress Management and Mastery: 5 Tips for Positive Anger Management

A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a... Read More

Stress Impacts Your Health

Health Impacts of StressStress is a funny concept, try to... Read More

Mindfulness and Panic: Ask Your Anxiety

Panic.Heart racing. Palms sweating. Breathing rapid and shallow. Mouth dry.... Read More

Three Tips for Forgiveness: A Key Factor in Anger Management

Elizabeth, 32, cried during anger management class as she told... Read More

Job Stress Management Tips

Today's workplace produces plenty of stress. Life's little hassles mount... Read More