Stress Management and Mastery: The Value of Vitamin NO

What part of no don't you understand? - Bumper sticker

The child that never hears no will have a hard time saying no. - Della Reese in "Touched by an Angel"

Have you ever noticed how some of the most powerful things in life are also the most simple?

So it is with the simply powerful word ``NO.''

I've come to believe that one of the keys to success is the ability to say no when no is the best thing to say.

Let's take a look at when to say no, and then more importantly, how to say NO effectively.

When to say no

To others - Although it may be unintentional, people's opinions can be potential dream stealers. If you have a dream and are convinced of its value in your life, ignore those that say you cannot do it. Pursue your dream, because that's where passion and life can be found.

To temptation - Have you ever noticed how temptation doesn't hang around long when you firmly say no? Temptation needs an invitation to stay around.

To yourself - Everyone I have ever known, including myself, is excellent at the mind-bending trick called rationalization. We can twist our thoughts around so much that we convince ourselves of just about anything. But check out the word ``rationalize.'' In this case what it really means is to convince yourself of rational lies.

To the culture - Mary Pipher, author of "The Shelter of Each Other, Rebuilding Our Families" says:

"If we fail as a family to fight the culture in our society, we end up fat, addicted and broke with a house full of junk we don't need."

Decide how you want you and yours to be, and resist cultural pressure.

To stress and reactivity - Here's a riddle for you: What do a TV, a human being and a VCR have in common? Answer: All three have a pause button. But I'm convinced we use ours less than TVs and VCRs.

Instead of reacting to the stress in your life, hit the pause button long enough to consider how you would like to respond instead of react.

To our children - Della Reese said it best in the quote above: The child who never hears no will not be able to say no. Furthermore, children who never hear no won't understand or respect no when they are adults, which can lead to all sorts of difficulties.

How to say no

Here's a few tips on learning the how of saying no:

Give yourself permission to say no. You are a big person now and have the right to say no. (You always had it anyway.)

Decide you are gong to say no, and then as my dad always said, ``Stick to your guns.''

Say it! It really can be that simple.

If people have a difficult time hearing or accepting your no, remember that is their problem, not yours. Use the old broken-record technique: "I understand what you are saying, and the answer is still no." Repeat as much as necessary.

Practice saying no to work out your no muscles.

Pay attention to how the world doesn't end, and how all your friends and family don't disown you for saying no.

When you are able to say no - when no is the best thing to say - you'll find your world less cluttered and your life less chaotic.

Just one more thought:

It's only when you can say NO that your YES has any real value.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

In The News:

7 tips for dealing with stress  World Economic Forum
Cannon Pharmacies "Treating" Public to Free Education Sessions  Cabarrus Business & Lifestyles Magazine
How to reduce burnout  Today's Veterinary Business Magazine
Extreme Stress  Business Today
Five Ways to Manage Your Lockdown Stress  Oregon Cannabis Connection

Bite-Size Chunks! The Power Of Daily Actions

There may be so much you want to change in... Read More

Chastise Your Bread ? Kneading Dough is Excellent Stress Therapy

The day wasn't going well already. You know how it... Read More

Stress Tips

26 ways to minimize and manage the unhealthy effects of... Read More

Dialing M For Mindfulness

Looking for mindfulness? Who ya gonna call?Try dialing M.It's easy... Read More

10 Ways to Enjoy Your Stress More

1. The Mentor Method: think of your favorite person. Someone... Read More

Moving Through Breakdowns with Transformation

Success in recovery, or rather, staying in recovery, is dependent... Read More

Stress Elimination

Learning methods of stress elimination is a vital skill in... Read More

Wholistics

I have yet to see a scientist talk about the... Read More

Coping as a Tool of Enchantment

Many of my readers write to me about the tensions... Read More

Balancing Acts: Keeping Work and Life in Equilibrium

In the fast-paced world that we live in today, it... Read More

Walking - The Perfect Stress Reducer

An excellent stress reducer can be something as simple as... Read More

It is Looking Up for Stress Relief

No this is not related to praying, this is how... Read More

Five Easy Ways To Bring Family Time Into Your Day; Balancing Work And Family Stresses

The pace of life seems to quicken every year. More... Read More

Stress Management: 7 Universal Laws for Managing Change

1. The Law of StagnationThis is also known as first... Read More

Stress Relief

Traffic jams. Toddler tantrums. Deadlines at work. Money troubles. Too... Read More

7 Healthy Ways To Release Holiday Stress

Many people go through the motions during Christmas. If not... Read More

Dont Be a Worry Wort!

Everyone worries. As bothersome as it is, worry isn't all... Read More

Stress Managment and Mastery: Progress vs. Perfection

David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."And... Read More

Managing Stress From Another World

Modern stress is habitual, and is something that the vast... Read More

Seven Simple Steps to a Stress-Free Start

Most of us lead busy lives, trying to successfully juggle... Read More

Need To Stop Worrying?

I once worked with a woman whose zest,joy and enthusiasm... Read More

Putting Your Life in Perspective

Do you often overreact to situations? Are you a constant... Read More

Planning Stress Management

Deadlines at work, demanding bosses, bills to be paid at... Read More

Why Stress Management Programmes Don?t Work

Why Stress Management programmes don't work?It seems that every week... Read More

Deep Breathing ? How It Can Simultaneously Improve Health And Bring You Closer To Your Goals

I hope by reading this article you will see the... Read More