Don?t Throw the Baby Out with the Bath Water

Whenever we have a bad experience or we own up to having a weakness people immediately jump on the band wagon and tell us to work with our weaknesses. "Focus on them until you have overcome them and then you can move on".

But we only have a limited period on this earth. And what is more, I don't know how long that will be. So why oh why should I spend so much time focussing on my weaknesses?

What is it about my weaknesses that they should demand so much of my time? Surely the point is that they are called weaknesses because I am weak in this area. This is the area that saps my strength, so why should I give them more time.

I know the theory goes that I should give them more time and then they will become strengths.

But does it really work like that?

Just because I know the origin of this weakness does it mean that it is now a strength?

Just because I can now say, Ah so that behaviour comes from the time when? I was????? Does that really help me?

It appears to me that it is still a weakness but now I have a reason ?.or perhaps in the modern world something better?? I have someone to blame.

It is his fault. She did it to me. But what's the point. It's still not a strength.

It's still sapping my energy.

Richard Restak , in his book Poe's Heart and the Mountain Climber, says the more you focus on your weaknesses, the more your body feels fear. The more uncomfortable you feel.

So why put yourself through so much pain?

In his experiments he has found that the best way to overcome a weakness is to change your thoughts. To think of something that makes you feel good.

In my experience, if I focus on what I'm good at and concentrate on these thoughts and skills I get stronger and stronger. Let me give you an example.

I am not good at small talk. In fact I hate it.

But I am good at seeing connections between people and information which others do not see. Now what should I do? Should I concentrate on my small talk skills and develop them into strengths? Or, should I concentrate on my strength which will enable me to coach people better.

I choose to concentrate on my strengths.

Go on just try it. Whenever you have a bad experience. Whenever you feel you are giving in to a weakness.

Stop. Reappraise.

Focus on something good. Something you love. Focus on what you are really good at.

WE promise it works.

The point is, if you focus on your strengths and what gives you a great feeling, you will reduce the stress on your body and perform a whole lot better.

Keep doing what's good for you what is right for you and you must progress.

Keep listening to your heart.

Keep focussed on what you know is good for you. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water: focus on your strengths.

Good luck

Graham and Julie.

To improve your intuition, initiative and energy levels please go to: It's free.

In The News:

The anti-social secret of success  Financial TimesFor all the talk of a 'loneliness epidemic', it is possible to have too much company.
Success Of Angels' Shohei Ohtani Has Led Other Teams To Experiment With Two-Way Players  ForbesIt stands to reason that it wouldn't take long for teams to mimic the Los Angeles Angels and the success they had last season with two-way star Shohei Ohtani.
SpaceX Starlink success kicks off Elon Musk's satellite internet aspirations  CNETA landmark launch and deploy puts the first 60 satellites into orbit, beginning the master plan of delivering internet to the world.
Disney's Live-Action 'Aladdin' Aims To Correct 1st Film's Problems, Replicate Success  NPRDisney's live-action version of its 1992 cartoon Aladdin features Will Smith in the Genie role originally played by Robin Williams.
How Downside Risk Will Impact Participation in Pathways to Success  Xtelligent Healthcare MediaStarting in July, the Medicare Shared Savings Program is transitioning to Pathways to Success, leaving ACOs little time to decide is taking on downside financial ...
MCAT scores and medical school success: Do they correlate?  American Medical AssociationThe MCAT is key to earning admission to medical school. How well the test score predicts your med school career is a bit more complicated. Find out why.
Rising India | Modi must build on foreign policy success  Moneycontrol.comIn his first term, Modi had succeeded in articulating a global role for India as a leading player in the international system, one which shapes global rules and is ...
Steady as He Goes: Roger Federer on Success, Staying Power and 20 Years at the French Open  The New York TimesOf the 128 players who took part in the 1999 French Open singles tournament, Federer is the last one still playing singles on tour.
Odds of success  EurekAlertThe more a student engages with various activities on campus, the higher their odds of success post-graduation. According to a study by researchers from the ...
Top seven success secrets of doing business the Sindhi way  YourStoryWhether it is the Gujarati rokda, the Baniya dhanda, the Sindhi paiso, or the tech startup's funding, every business community has its unique way of looking at ...
Entrepreneurs target greener path to success  Financial TimesCan entrepreneurs clean up the planet? The evidence of the damage being inflicted on the world is growing: the UN this month warned that 1m species ...
Southcom Chief Outlines Keys for Success in South America  Department of DefenseDespite terrorist groups, narcoterrorism and the humanitarian crisis in Venezuela, South America remains "the largest, free and peaceful ... most prosperous ...
3 Factors to Consider for Subscription Box Service Success  Total RetailMany retail brands have already launched into the newest channel of customer engagement, subscription box services, and those that haven't are probably ...
Watch: Senegal 'Salt Queen' tastes success in a man's world  Euronews EnglishDiouf, 35, began her venture a decade ago, investing her savings to buy her own salt flats in Fatick, one of the West African nation's biggest salt mining regions.
Teen acne may have an upside: Better grades and more life success  TODAYHaving teen acne is associated with better grades, higher high school GPA and completing a college degree, study finds. Dermatologist shares how to treat ...
USMNT: 3 non-obvious players critical to Gold Cup success  FanSidedThe USMNT take on the rest of the CONCACAF region in June's Gold Cup. But which players are crucial to their success? Here are three non-obvious ...
Devin and Jason McCourty 'redefine success' with Rutgers graduation speech  Patriots.comDevin and Jason McCourty gave the 2019 commencement speech at their alma mater, Rutgers University.
7 Ways to Make Outsourcing a Success Time After Time  EntrepreneurYou can't do it all, but when you need to outsource some tasks, use these seven guidelines to get it right every time.
Will Square’s Success Threaten Large Acquirers?  PaymentsJournalSquare has taken advantage of all these trends. Technically, it is not a merchant acquirer at all but looks that way to its customers. It's a “payments...
The Secret to Salesforce's Success  BloombergBloomberg's Carol Massar discusses one of Marc Benioff's art purchases and the success of Salesforce. She speaks with Bloomberg's Lisa Abramowicz and ...
Additive Success Brewing on Factory Floor  IndustryWeekUltimaker's new president talks about a recent Heineken case study and how additive opportunities can could bubble up throughout enterprises.
Female Student Entrepreneurs Share Tips for Success  UConn TodayStudents from Miss Porter's School who hope to become entrepreneurs met with female student entrepreneurs from UConn's School of Nursing at the Werth ...
Rockies’ prospect Tyler Nevin eyes the success and improvement that can come with a full, healthy season  The Denver PostLast year, after rehabbing from his quad issue to dominate Class-A Advanced Lancaster with a .328 average, Nevin finally saw some baseball karma start to ...
Dress for Success: Girl Scouts seek community donations for year-end project  The Ridgefield PressEvery spring, Ridgefield Girl Scouts selects an organization to contribute to with an end of the year community *service* project. This year, the Girl Scouts will ...
8 Things You Must Do to Maximize Your Success With Social Selling  Social Media TodaySocial selling directly impacts sales. According to research from Hubspot, when salespeople adopt social selling at an organization, the win rate, and deal size, ...
'Dress for Success:' See which dresses for charity won the ABC7 News viewer vote!  KGO-TVKristen Sze and Sandhya Patel are wearing the winning dresses on ABC7 News tonight, and then Macy's will donate them to Dress for Success.
Tesla’s ‘Extreme’ Success in Norway Becomes Double-Edged Sword  BloombergIn one of Tesla Inc.'s biggest markets, it's been stung by its own success.
5 strategies for digital marketing success  Restaurant Business OnlineWith traditional media use on the decline, marketing experts offered winning ideas at the 2019 National Restaurant Association Show.
Opposition deems strike in Nicaragua a success  MercoPressThe streets of Nicaragua's main cities were empty and almost every store remained unopened during Thursday's nationwide strike which was considered a ...
Diamondbacks experience sweet success  ProgresstimesFor the first time in school history, the Pioneer Diamondbacks' baseball team is in the state's Sweet 16. Officially known as the UIL Region IV Semifinals, the ...
Tottenham news: Champions League success could lead to trophy spree for Mauricio Pochettino’s men, says Jose M  talkSPORTJose Mourinho, the former Manchester United boss, believes Mauricio Pochettino's side could go on a domestic trophy spree - should they beat Premier League ...
Turtle success for rehabilitation of Yoshi and Pemba | Cape Times  Independent OnlineThe Two Oceans Aquarium marked World Turtle Day by sharing the journey of turtles which it officially returned to the ocean.
Tabeek: A healthy, hungry Devonta Freeman will be key to Falcons' success in 2019  AtlantaFalcons.comIf the Falcons hope to win the NFC South and make another postseason push, Devonta Freeman will undoubtedly play an integral part in making that happen.
BJP's success in West Bengal because of RSS, says poll strategist Sunil Deodhar as saffron party wins 18...  FirstpostAccording to Sunil Deodhar, BJP's poll strategist for West Bengal, the saffron party didn't have to do much as the groundwork has been going on in Bengal for ...
Elisabeth Murdoch’s Digital Video Studio Finds Snapchat Success Isn’t Enough  ForbesBut as other digital publishers have discovered, Vertical Networks can't survive (or thrive) on revenue from a single platform alone. So Elisabeth Murdoch's ...
Queen’s music streams triple following Bohemian Rhapsody success  LouderQueen have seen a huge increase in streams and sales since the release of the smash hit film Bohemian Rhapsody.
Comedian Chris Lilley reveals his struggle with fame after the success of his TV shows  Daily MailAustralian comedian Chris Lilley is one of the country's most recognisable small-screen stars, with hits like Summer Heights High and Lunatics.
Heineken Champions Cup finalists chasing repeat domestic success  EPCRugby.comLeinster Rugby are searching for a second successive PRO14 title this weekend when they take on Glasgow Warriors, having narrowly missed out on the ...
Success, Iheanacho among most wasteful EPL forwards  The PunchSuper Eagles pair Isaac Success and KelechiIheanacho have been listed among the most wasteful forwards in the just concluded English Premier League...
Julian Edelman Is Loving The Success Of Boston Sports  CBS BostonAs the Bruins gear up for the Stanley Cup Final and the Patriots begin their Super Bowl defense, Julian Edelman says there's no better sports town in the country ...
Stand Out For Success: 11 Details Entrepreneurs Need To Cover In Their Funding Pitch  ForbesYour pitch is your one chance to impress potential investors and convince them to help fund your business. Forbes Coaches Council leaders share their top ...
Colts can find success using WR Parris Campbell on screen routes  Colts WireThere is already plenty of hype surrounding Indianapolis Colts wide receiver Parris Campbell and how he fits in the new offense. How they utilize their new ...
First Spin: Illy returns with 'Then What', a fun reflection on success  ABC NewsIlly is back with a new single that looks back at his success over the past two-and-a-half years and asks, 'OK, but then what?' That's the central hook of 'Then ...
Wiscasset Set for Success organizers seeking donations  Times RecordWISCASSET – Feed Our Scholars and Parents In Education will hold a Set for Success event Aug. 11 from 1-3 p.m. at Wiscasset Elementary School. As part of ...
MotoAmerica, With help from Ducati, Wyman is optimistic: "I can see success"  GPone EnglishKyle Wyman is pleased and with good reason. The technical material received from Borgo Panigale was mounted under the watchful eye of the human support ...
Reata Bardoxolone Trial Success Likely, But Still Just A Hold  Seeking AlphaReata Pharmaceuticals is readying for its first potential FDA product approval and launch. Lead candidate bardoxolone should report Phase 3 data in 2019.
Behind the success of The Seattle Times' Morning Brief newsletter  PoynterThe Seattle Times' daily morning newsletter, Morning Brief, launched in 2015. Last year, it converted 2,000 readers into digital subscribers, which amounted to ...
Amber Delay: 'Thank you' for making Day of Caring a success  Steamboat Pilot & TodaySpring weather in the Yampa Valley is unpredictable, but a little snow in May did not stop 246 volunteers from showing up to give back to our community.
Stu Breaks Down How Dom Plays Straight With Success May 23, 2019  FloBowlingStu Williams breaks down how Dom Barrett has been able to find success playing the lanes straighter at the PBA Playoffs.
Airbus A380: Success Despite Business Failure?  One Mile at a TimeEven though Airbus lost billions of dollars on the A380, here's why the company's new CEO claims that the project was a success.
Improved Hitting Key to the Cincinnati Bearcats’ AAC Tournament Success  Down The DriveScoring runs has not always been a strength for the Cincinnati Bearcats this season. They produced enough on offense to win the second-most games in ...
CDC helps entrepreneur find recipe for success at Washago market  OrilliaMatters'We just loved the feel of the location and we love the area,' says new owner of Canoe *Fresh* Food Market.
Sheffield’s success flags funding gap for northern universities  Financial TimesMost state funding for research goes to Golden Triangle, but private backers go north.
Dixie State's new associate provost will focus on student retention, success  St George NewsST. GEORGE — After an extensive nationwide search, Dixie State University has selected Sarah Vandermark as its new associate provost for academic success ...
What Matters Most on the Road to Scientific Success?  Undark MagazineBig data is helping to uncover the skills and strategies — as well as the invisible structural factors — that contribute to scientific productivity.
Lil Nas X gifts Billy Ray Cyrus a new Maserati following success of hit 'Old Town Road'  WZTVNASHVILLE, Tenn. (WZTV) - Lil Nas X showed his gratitude to Billy Ray Cyrus for his contribution to the massive success of his debut single "Old Town Road.
10 Quotes that Reveal the Keys to Success  Inc.With experience and time reflecting, you can decide what you want.
Play Ball in Grand Junction a growing success  MLB.comMajor League Baseball's signature youth event made its way to western Colorado on Thursday, to connect young kids with one of the more popular events that ...
Rookie pass-rusher Chase Winovich is primed for stunt success in New England | NFL Analysis  Pro Football FocusPFF's Anthony Treash explains why the selection of Chase Winovich could make a difference to New England's pass-rush.
Journeyman Remmers a Big Key To Giants O-Line Success  MSG NetworksIf the Giants are going to turn things around on offense, then it is likely that the signings of guard Kevin Zeitler and tackle Mike Remmers will play a big part in the ...
Prepped for Success supports disadvantaged youth  Clarksville NowCLARKSVILLE, Tenn. (CLARKSVILLENOW) – Over 10,000 students in the Clarksville-Montgomery County School System are considered economically ...
Theresa May BREAKTHROUGH: How THIS country could enable Brexit SUCCESS after resignation  ExpressTHERESA MAY announced this morning she will resign as Prime Minister, casting further uncertainty over Brexit. However, the example of the only country to ...
Use the law of least resistance for sales success | Expert column  Virginian-PilotWe want the customer/client to respond affirmatively to our sale by taking the path of least resistance.
Lil Nas X Tells Us Why The Surprise Success Of ‘Old Town Road’ Was No Accident  UPROXXThe success of Lil Nas X's country-trap anthem “Old Town Road” may have been a surprise, but it wasn't an accident. While no one could have predicted the ...
Solicitors make a growing success out of York move  YorkMixA leading Yorkshire law firm, Ison Harrison, has found that making the bold step into the city of York has proven to be a successful move, with a growing team ...
How Success Of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' Biopic Affected QUEEN's Music Sales  BLABBERMOUTH.NETQUEEN's popularity has had a major resurgence over the last year, thanks to the phenomenal success of the band's biopic "Bohemian Rhapsody", which ...
Gibbs: Success all about finding the right people  ESPNJoe Gibbs has won four NASCAR Cup Series championships and three Super Bowls with the Washington Redskins, and he credits it all to having the right ...
Lane Johnson paves the way for success at his alma mater  PhiladelphiaEagles.comThe All-Pro tackle donated $500000 for the construction of.
'Star Wars' actor Adam Driver credits the military for acting success: ‘It gives you a lot of confidence'  Fox NewsAdam Driver credits the military for his rise to stardom in Hollywood. Before the 35-year-old accomplished an impressive acting career involving roles in HBO's ...
Nitish Kumar, Ram Vilas Paswan party to BJP’s success  Economic TimesThis is the first time JD (U) chief and Bihar chief minister Nitish Kumar has campaigned for Narendra Modis re-election as prime minister.
On Juwan Howard’s Future at Michigan and Unique Paths to Success at Dream Jobs  StadiumMy favorite radio show of all time, the now-defunct SVP & Russillo, with ESPN's Scott Van Pelt and Ryen Russillo frequently held mailbags where the hosts ...
La Russa Says Team Chemistry Remains A Key To Success  ForbesHall of Fame manager Tony La Russa believes that it's a mistake to downplay the importance of team chemistry in this era of statistical analysis. He says he ...
Micho on Pirates: We smell that success is around the corner  Sport24Cape Town - Orlando Pirates coach Milutin Sredojevic has backed his side to continue improving next season after securing a second-place finish in the ...
10 CEOs who didn't find success until later in life  Business InsiderUnlike some big tech chiefs, the CEOs on this list didn't get a big break until their late 30s or after.
Track: Early success at state for Ilwaco athletes  Daily AstorianCHENEY, Wash. — Ilwaco began the WIAA state track meet with some successes Thursday.
Success of Anxiety Management Apps Heavily Based on Ratings  Medical BagSAN FRANCISCO – Business model characteristics of mobile applications (apps) for anxiety management are significantly associated with the amount and ...
Event: Secrets to Success Leeds — with Pinsent Masons, Walker Morris, Womble Bond Dickinson and ULaw  Legal CheekTop lawyers share their secrets to success; students ask the questions. Legal Cheek is back with the latest in its series of Secrets to Success events — in ...
Padraig Amond: FA Cup top scorer targets Wembley play-off success  BBC SportNewport striker Padraig Amond wants to end the season on a high in the League Two play-off final after contentious FA Cup goal denies him accolade.
Built on huge homers, Cubs' big innings a formula for success  ESPNPowered by blasts such as Albert Almora Jr.'s first slam, the Cubs' offense is exorcising the ghosts of last year's second-half slump.
Teenager Yastremska stands between Garcia and Strasbourg success  AOL UKTeenager Dayana Yastremska surprised herself by beating Aryna Sabalenka to ensure she will face Caroline Garcia in the Internationaux de Strasbourg final.
How author Lee Child lost his job and found global success  BBC NewsLee Child has had the kind of success most authors can only fantasise about. He's written 23 thrillers featuring American hero Jack Reacher - with total sales of ...
Will Your Product Launch Be a Success? 4 Signs It Won't Be.  EntrepreneurThat big red button is just waiting to be pushed: Maybe it's the Facebook Ad “Start” button, intended to drive leads to the sales funnel for your brand new product.
The secret to Game of Thrones' success - Culture & Arts  WORLD News GroupLast Sunday evening, the world seemed divided into two camps: the people watching the Game of Thrones series finale on HBO and the people watching the ...
Glasgow Airport praised for success in tackling disruptive passengers  AOL UKThe UK Aviation Minister has praised Glasgow Airport for halving the number of offences involving disruptive passengers.Baroness Vere travelled to Scotland for ...
Could an improved defense lead to sustained success for the Broncos?  DenverBroncos.comIt's obviously in the back of our minds and a point of emphasis that we want to hit on to make sure that a great start is great, but [also find] how to sustain that,
Exclusive: Has 'Gully Boy' success gone to Siddhant Chaturvedi’s head?  DNA IndiaZoya Akhtar directorial Gully Boy, which starred Ranveer Singh and Alia Bhatt in the leads, gave birth to a new star - Siddhant Chaturvedi. Apart from Ranveer ...
Armin van Buuren's trance evolution and the dark side of success  DJ MagHit-maker, label boss, global tastemaker and five-time winner of the Top 100 DJs, Armin van Buuren is a certified legend of electronic music. Having risen up as ...
Man Utd will have no 'excuses' if players fail to deliver success next season, says Ole Gunnar Solskjaer  Evening StandardOle Gunnar Solskjaer admits there will be no room for excuses if his Manchester United players fail to live up to expectations next season. The Norwegian won ...
The Secret Of Coolblue's Success? Their Tagline  ForbesCoolblue is an amazingly successful online electronics retailer in the Netherlands. The reason for their success? Just look at their tagline.
On Gardening | Making a spring garden check leads to success  Santa Cruz SentinelIris 'That's All Folks' with a geranium in the background. (Tom Karwin — Sentinel correspondent). By Tom Karwin | [email protected] | Santa Cruz Sentinel.
Salesforce's Success Rides on One Man's Gut  BloombergMarc Benioff's acquisitions have kept the software giant growing at an incredible rate. He's also made some costly errors.
Yankees mailbag: MLB Draft, Thairo Estrada’s success, upcoming roster crunch  Pinstripe AlleySince the last mailbag ran short because of the Miguel Andujar surgery news, I decided to make it up to you this week. We have nine questions this morning.
Minecraft wants to build on Pokémon Go's success  CNNMinecraft Earth is a mobile, augmented reality game. Here's a first look at how it works.
'Dress for Success' helps women through professional workwear  KGO-TVHelping women through professional workwear is the mission for Dress for Success.
Rosaforte Report: The secret recipe to Brooks Koepka's major success  Golf ChannelThe Chef of Champions was on his way to Fort Worth, Texas when we spoke early Monday, his work never done. Up at 3 a.m, he was going to cook for Rickie ...
Championship run: Patriots see plenty of success during school year - The Troy Messenger  Troy MessengerIt was a year of championships and plenty of success during the school year at Pike Liberal Arts School. The school picked up a total of three championships ...
The secret to Jurgen Klopp's Liverpool success - and why Reds boss surrounds himself with 'experts'  Liverpool EchoLiverpool manager details his "way of life" in new video.
First Mid-South patient sees success from newly approved cancer treatment  WMCA newly FDA-approved cancer treatment is proving to be a game-changer for the future of medicine.
Hamilton star shares secret of show's success before Austin debut at Bass Concert Hall  CultureMap AustinPhenomenon is a noun used to describe very specific, often remarkable events. Given the buzz Hamilton has created in both the theater world and popular cultu.
Gully Boy's Siddhant Chaturvedi high on success; Isn't giving time to filmmakers to carry forward the project?  PINKVILLASiddhant Chaturvedi got overnight success because of his performance as MC Sher in Zoya Akhtar's Gully Boy. Seems like success has gone to his head, ...

Forget Dreams...Have Visions!

Do you still keep that all important 'Inner Spark Alive'?... Read More

Unlocking Human Potential

Before we can unlock human potential, we need to know... Read More

Creating Success - Understand The Tao of Success

One of the most important aspects of creating success involves... Read More

Self Growth - How to Overcome Your Critics

They all know it's part of the success journey.They know... Read More

What Do You Feed Your Mind?

"The mind grows by what it feeds on." J.... Read More

How To Prepare Yourself Mentally For Success

Okay, so you've finally made that big decision to start... Read More

Risking For Success

Everything we do in life involves risk. There's no growth... Read More

Do You Know Your Success Barriers?

I can tell, with 95% accuracy, if you are going... Read More

Don?t Stop Asking So Many Questions

A few weeks ago I took my boy on a... Read More

Want To Succeed In Business, Social, Personal Life? Take Good Care Of Your Personal Image

Your personal image: It's the most important YOU asset you... Read More

Elements of Success

There are twelve necessary elements involved in achieving success:1. Spend... Read More

More Effective Communication - Weight Loss For Your Mouth

Language constitutes our belief system. What we believe is true... Read More

Success Formula Revealed - How You Can Apply The Ultimate Success Formula?

When you analyze the traits of successful people, you will... Read More

Does Your School Teach You How to Achieve Financial Freedom?

Study hard, get good grades and you will have a... Read More

The Ancestral Cream

"I am the greatest warrior. I have fought with gods... Read More

Creative Destruction

This past Memorial Day weekend I decided to revisit my... Read More

Effective Strategies for Stopping Procrastination

You will have the greatest success if you read the... Read More

A Recipe for Living

As a professional speaker, father and business owner I often... Read More

It?s Sure to Succeed

There are "How to" seminars on virtually every business topic.... Read More

Moving to the Other Side of Box

Few books have impacted my perspective on human psychologically and... Read More

Reach Your Goals - Have A Pitch Party

Have a "Pitch Party" Invite friends and work together to... Read More

Balance Of Life

Mary and Susan were friends for years. They grew up... Read More

The Definition of WIN!

When you look into the eyes of a winner, what... Read More

Success By Performing Without An Audience - Is Anyone Listening?

To achieve success it can be important to keep going... Read More

Marketing In The Moment (Consciously)

It's really all we have... the "Moment". Think about it,... Read More