Deprecated: mysql_connect(): The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: use mysqli or PDO instead in /home/a26f9f83/public_html/articles/includes/config.php on line 159
The Psychology Of Success; Part 1 > NetSparsh - Viral Content you Love & Share

The Psychology Of Success; Part 1

Business knowledge and skills are not the only keys to success. To be successful, you also need to master the psychological skills that will help you to be satisfied and fulfilled, and thus more effective in your work. Knowing how to manage your mind, and understanding how to deal with lack of confidence, stress, anxiety, and depression, is as important as knowing how to handle the strategic and organizational challenges of your business.

Success isn't about money. It's not a position or power. It's being happy, satisfied, and productive. But to achieve success in today's highly competitive and constantly changing world you have to learn to build up your confidence and be assertive. You have to be able to put things in perspective so that you can counter stress, depression, and anxiety. And most importantly, you have to manage yourself so that you can manage your time.

Self-confidence is perhaps the most important, yet overlooked skill that you must have for success in your personal and business life. If you lack self-confidence, you will be apprehensive, frustrated, resentful, and demoralized. In your behavior, you will be passive, avoid taking initiatives, and constantly seek reassurance. Lack of self-confidence can hamper your professional career and your personal relationships.

Many people believe self-confidence is a virtue that others have and they never will. This is wrong. Self-confidence is not an all-or-nothing personality trait that you either have or you don't. A person may be very self-confident in one area or situation and much less so in another. Self-Confidence is a skill that can be acquired.

Here are six suggestion to help build your self-confidence:

1. Behave "as if you've already done it." At a moment when you lack confidence (for example, if you are about to make a presentation to your boss), ask yourself, "How would I behave if I were really confident?" or Ask yourself, "How would a confident person you know handle this?' Just by adopting the behavior of self-confidence, the posture, thoughts, and actions, you will begin to feel more confident.

2. Don't be afraid of being flexible. People lacking self-confidence feel that they must follow a careful, well-planned route to be safe. Don't be afraid to leave the road. You'll find that the pitfalls you imagined waiting to trap you were mostly imaginary.

3. Make the most of your mistakes and then leave them behind. Only those who do nothing, do nothing wrong. If you make a mistake, learn a lesson from it, then move on.

4. Operate with a statute of limitations. Don't keep kicking yourself for past mistakes. Instead give yourself a pep talk for the future.

5. Be kind to yourself. This is an important, yet underutilized strategy for building self-confidence. Too often we punish ourselves for failures, but never reward ourselves for success. Reward yourself with a treat, anything from a mid-morning break to a restaurant meal. And forget about self-punishment.

6. Practice self-confidence on a daily basis. Don't practice building your self-confidence only when you are particularly vulnerable. Practice it when you are feeling good also. Self-confidence must become a habit that you can call on whenever you need it.

Success means being fair to yourself and to others. You must learn to be assertive but fair. Assertiveness is based on the idea that your needs, wants, and feelings are neither more nor less important than those of other people. You have the right to make claims for yourself clearly and honestly, as long as those claims don't impinge on the rights of others.

An assertive person knows how to balance aggression and passivity. If you are too passive in making claims for yourself, you will not get what you want and deserve. If you are too aggressive, on the other hand, you will be unfair to others.

To be assertive, you must also know how to strike a balance between reflecting and reacting. You must know how to think before you act, but don't avoid taking action. For example, if someone borrows something precious from you and damages it, you have the right to be angry. But don't explode into a tirade of expletives and general insults. That's overreacting. On the other hand, don't prevent yourself from saying something because you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. That's being too reflective. Assertive people are able to express their anger clearly and appropriately, focusing that anger on the behavior, not the person.

To be assertive, you have to have the right attitude and the right skills. To acquire the right attitude you must build up your confidence and self-esteem. If you are not self-confident or if you have low self-esteem, you will not be able to stand up for yourself when you need to. Being assertive means thinking highly of yourself and others as well.

An assertive person knows exactly what he or she wants. If you are self-confident but don't know what you want, then you will be as ineffectual as someone who is passive. You have to believe without any doubt that you have the same rights as anyone else. You have the right to get what you want in life, as long as it doesn't impinge unfairly on others.

The psychology of success means that you have to keep things in perspective. Successful people never allow negative thoughts to hurt them. Negative thoughts affect your feelings and negative feelings affect your thoughts in a vicious, unending circle. For example, if you feel miserable, you will think about the things that have gone wrong in your life. If you feel apprehensive, you will think that you are going to fail. As your thoughts and feelings reinforce each other, your anxiety, depression, or stress becomes deeper.

Because of the connection between thoughts and feelings, you will be able to feel differently, less stressed, less anxious, if you can make yourself think differently. You may believe at times that there is only one way to view a situation, but this is just an illusion. There is always more than one way of thinking about things.

To break out of the negative thought/feeling cycle, identify the specific thoughts that cause you to feel negatively. Then look for another perspective on those thoughts. One way of doing this is to keep a "thought record." During the day, write down your negative thoughts as they occur and what you are doing at the time you are having them. Then for every thought, ask yourself if there is an alternate, more positive spin you can put on those negative thoughts. For example, if you say "I should be able to cope better than this," ask yourself: "Would anyone else cope better?"

Forcing yourself to look at a situation or event from another point of view is easier said than done. But, if you take the time to step back and ask certain questions you will be able to gain a different perspective. Here are some questions that can help:

* Questions about your thoughts. What other points of view are there? How would someone else think about this? How would I think about this if I were feeling better?

* Questions about the reality. What are the facts of this situation? How can I find out which way of thinking fits the facts best?

* Questions about how to cope. What is the worst that could happen? How bad is this going to get? What should I do if the worst happens?

Forcing yourself to step back and attempt to think differently about situations and events is a major step in battling anxiety, depression, and stress, three all-too-common psychological enemies to happiness and success.

In part two of "The Psychology of Success" we will look more closely at how to defeat depression, anxiety, and control stress.

Copyright© 2005 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many of America's largest corporations, on the subjects of leadership, self-esteem, goals, achievement, and success psychology.

Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com

Read more articles and newsletters at: http://www.jlmandassociates.com

In The News:

This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news

Forbes

What Should Financial Success Look Like In Your 20s?
Forbes
My client's daughter, a 24 year-old, asked how she should be thinking about financial success at her age and what she should be focused on. She said she felt lost and wanted to achieve financial independence and the benefits of the “thin blue line ...


NPR

Wisconsin Reservation Offers A Climate Success Story And A Warning
NPR
When Star Ames was a child there was a flood. The streets were like rivers and the houses like islands. It was 1960 and the village of Odanah, Wis. was up to its neck. The town had been built on the banks of the Bad River, in the floodplain. "I ...
Wisconsin reservation offers a climate success story and a warning ...Minnesota Public Radio News
Quinault Indian Nation Plans for Village Relocation | U.S. Climate Resilience ToolkitClimate Resilience Toolkit
American Indian Urban Relocation | National ArchivesNational Archives
Curbed NY -St. Louis Public Radio -Geriatrics – Ethnogeriatrics
all 87 news articles »

NBCSports.com

Why Leonard Floyd is the key to the Bears' defensive success
NBCSports.com
This isn't to diminish the importance of Smith, who represents the biggest (and, arguably, only major) addition to the Bears' defense made in the 2018 offseason. But if you're looking for the guy whose performance will be the most critical to the ...
Associated Press News - AP NewsAP News
Chicago Bears and top pick Roquan Smith finally on verge of contract agreementPro Football Weekly
Bears top pick Roquan Smith says little about holdout after first camp practicePro Football Weekly

all 195 news articles »

Nature.com

Sulfoxaflor exposure reduces bumblebee reproductive success
Nature.com
Intensive agriculture currently relies on pesticides to maximize crop yield. Neonicotinoids are the most widely used insecticides globally, but increasing evidence of negative impacts on important pollinators4,5,6,7,8,9 and other non-target organisms ...

and more »

Forbes

How To Dress For Success With Creative Director Nadia Di Donato
Forbes
It is dinnertime and the lady I'm seated across from is Nadia Di Donato, but where we are enjoying our meal happens to be in her newest restaurant, Don Alfonso 1890. In scouring the world for the next great idea, her company Liberty Entertainment Group ...


SpaceNews

NASA says RS-25 engine test a success despite ending early
SpaceNews
WASHINGTON — NASA says an Aug. 14 test of an engine for the Space Launch System was a success despite an unspecified “facility issue” that caused the test to end early. The test of the RS-25 engine on the A-1 stand at the Stennis Space Center in ...

and more »

Science Daily

Study of greater Yellowstone pronghorn finds highway crossing ...
Science Daily
A recently published study has confirmed that efforts to protect migrating pronghorn by installing wildlife crossing structures over highways have succeeded, ...

and more »

The Dirt: An actual Rangers pitching success story, and the curious case of what the future holds for Martin Perez
Dallas News
We are going to talk about a very, very specific subject today: Rangers unmitigated pitching success stories in 2018. You could make the case that Keone Kela fit that category, but he's come and gone. It leaves a class of one: Jose Leclerc. But it's a ...


Reuters

Retirement success: focus on the paycheck, not a savings number
Reuters
Retirement success: focus on the paycheck, not a savings number. Mark Miller. 6 Min Read. CHICAGO (Reuters) - Steve Vernon is an expert on numbers - but please do not ask him for your “number” - that is, the amount you need to save to insure a ...

and more »

Why No Amount of Money Can Guarantee Success
Entrepreneur
"You can actually have all the money in the world, and it doesn't guarantee success." In this video, Ritual co-founder and CEO Ray Reddy tells Entrepreneur Network partner MaRS Discovery District everything you might need to create a great product and ...

and more »
Google News

Avoid The Thirteen Habits of a Failure

Jim Rohn, the success guru and mentor, said, "Failure is... Read More

The Power of Small

Routinely, I rise out of bed before the birds, and... Read More

An Image Makeover that will Change Your Life Forever

Have you ever met people who exude charm and charisma?... Read More

Create Your Future Through Visualization

The best way to predict your future is to create... Read More

How do Tiger Woods and other Tippy Top World Achievers do it ?

They 'do it' by sharpening their FOCUS on the task... Read More

3 Power Tips To Increase Financial Success FA$T!

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be... Read More

Dare to Dream...and Dream Big

Dare to Dream~It is said that every person has at... Read More

Success At Any Time?

It goes without saying that we are unlikely to experience... Read More

Dont Just Read About It; Be About It!

Far too many of us struggle through life despite more... Read More

Informational Interviews: Tips for Success

As a work-life and career coach, I regularly work with... Read More

Success Begins and Ends With You

Success is a word that is much used in our... Read More

How to Make Your Wildest Dreams a Reality

According to Bill Gates there are 3 keys to success... Read More

Raise Your Bar: The Power of Yes

Every one of us lives with a ceiling, a belief... Read More

Innovation Management ? Measuring Failure

Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

Five Principals for Prosperity

Many years ago, forty to be exact, I started my... Read More

Liberating Success Lessons from Singing - If It Is Rubbish, It Is Rubbish; If It Is Not, It is Not

Reggie Yates, a pop song presenter, was singing on 7th... Read More

Reach Your Goals - The Fine Art Of The End Run

Perfect the fine art of the end run From time... Read More

Super Success ?- Reach Out and Take It

This is a little primer on how to start, survive... Read More

From Making a Living to Creating a Lifestyle

(excerpted from the Day That Turns Your Life Around)After having... Read More

Signs Along the Road to Achievement

One of the first things most of us remember hearing... Read More

Why Are Manhole Covers Round?

Recently I stumbled across a list of Microsoft Interview questions... Read More

Discover Your Path to Success ? Part 4

In Part Three, I promised we would get into the... Read More

Do You Know Your Success Barriers?

I can tell, with 95% accuracy, if you are going... Read More

How to Always Get Whatever You Want

Do You Know You Have the Power to Harness Huge,... Read More

The Secret to Intense Focus By

One of the common elements you see in almost all... Read More