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Tax Jokes and Quotes

Tax Jokes and Quotes

Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?

Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner

Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don't fret, just go dig out your past tax returns.

Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes."

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now."

Quote: "It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required."

Q: Who audits IRS agents?

Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."

Q: How do you drive a CPA insane?

A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.

Quote: "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect."

Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?

Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."

Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth?

A: Have them fill out a tax return.

Quote: "Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr."

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado?

A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house.

Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?"

People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.

Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.

In The News:

The wealthy may avoid $163 billion in taxes every year. Here’s how they do it CNBC

Tax strategies you don’t want to miss before the end of the year Livemint

Analysis: Higher taxes are coming and for markets, that could be a good thing Reuters

Securities transaction tax collection in Sept to exceed full years target Business Standard

Pay your tax liability soon, to reduce interest burden The Hindu

Income Tax Return Filing: Taxpayers May Need To Pay Interest For ITR; Details Here India.com

Have freelance income? Know this before switching to new tax regime Mint

Merged areas of Dharamsala may pay property tax from 2019 The Tribune India

High fuel taxes an incurable addiction for govts The Shillong Times

It’s time for a new tax on the UK’s wealthiest 1% – arguments against it don’t add up The Guardian

North Carolina Couple Convicted in Employment and Income Tax Scheme Department of Justice

Historic Home Prices to Whack Owners in Next Year's Property Tax Investing.com India

Actor Sonu Sood Tweets After Tax Raids: "Every Rupee In My Foundation..." NDTV

The food tax that points to a loss of clarity on GST Mint

Designer of AOC’s controversial ‘Tax the Rich’ Met Gala dress failed to pay over $100,000 in state and federal taxes OpIndia

Actor Sonu Sood Evaded Over Rs 20 Crore In Taxes: Income Tax Department NDTV

Anil Deshmukh’s premises searched: I-T department suspects ₹17-cr tax evasion Hindustan Times

Income tax portal continues to face glitches; Sep 15 deadline to Infosys draws to a close Mint

Cut capital gains liability with tax loss harvesting Mint

Your Queries: Income Tax: Indexation benefit is for long term gains from debt mutual funds The Financial Express

Boris Johnson Plans to Confront Amazon’s Jeff Bezos Over Taxes Barron's

ITR filing documents you need for FY 2020-21 Economic Times

Democrats want to tax the very rich. Here's who they are CNN

How (Not) to Tax Billionaires The New Yorker

I am US citizen who has sold property in India. How to cut income tax and transfer money to US? Economic Times

GST rule change to limit input tax credits Mint

WHO recommends alcohol tax hike in Europe to fight cancer Moneycontrol.com

How Top Accounting Firms Help Their Clients Sidestep Taxes The New York Times

Tax returns filing this year: What has changed Mint

Tax on dividend reported by firms gets pre-filled in tax utility Mint

What is Professional Tax? Indiainfoline

Proposed Tax Changes Focus on the Wealthy The New York Times

Trade bodies: Cut fuel tax to reduce retail prices Times of India

Gift to a specified kin does not attract tax Mint

How Progressive is the US Tax System? Tax Foundation

How Trump used goats to cut millions of dollars off his local property taxes, and paid just $700 last year Business Insider India

There's only a few months left to sign up for advance child tax payments. Here's what it means for future checks CNBC

NMC illegally earned Rs2.6k cr in taxes, refund citizens: Thakre Times of India

Chile Moves to Reimpose Tax on Trading Profits After 20 Years Bloomberg

NPS offers triple income tax benefits. Details here Mint

GST amendment to restrict input tax credit for businesses: PwC CNBCTV18

How The Widow's Tax Penalty Damages Your Retirement Security Forbes

Infosys' deadline to fix glitches in the income tax portal ends today. What the taxpayers are saying Mint

Congress turns heat on BJP over petrol and diesel prices, demands tax cuts Hindustan Times

ITR filing: Disclose these incomes, assets in your tax return India Today

Fresh calls for windfall tax on companies that prospered during Covid The Guardian

Income Tax Return: Will govt extend ITR filing deadline amid glitches on portal? Mint

Investors And Tax Pros Need To Recalibrate Their Risk Tolerance As Cryptocurrency Enters The Corporate Tax Ledger Forbes

Income Tax Department Recruitment 2021: Apply for various vacancies - Check salary, eligibility, last date, DNA India

Know your tax on dividends and sale of shares Deccan Herald

Congress needs to increase my taxes Roll Call

Explained: What are the rules for taxing interest on Provident Fund? The Indian Express

How Tax Giants Write Their Own Rules The New York Times

Trump CFO’s lawyer says he suspects more charges in NY tax case Al Jazeera English

Things to keep in mind while filing your income tax return this year Business Standard

Lessons from Switzerland: Taxing capital is the only sensible way to increase growth and reduce inequality The Financial Express

House Democrats’ Plan to Tax the Rich Leaves Vast Fortunes Unscathed The New York Times

Retro tax to bad bank to telecom: Political call to bite economic bullet The Indian Express

Reimagining taxation The Times of India Blog

India cuts GST tax on biodiesel for blending Argus Media

Cryptocurrency Tax War, Part II Forbes

Income-Tax portal: Finance Ministry updates on new e-filing platform. Details here Mint

House Democrats Outline Tax Increases for Wealthy Businesses and Individuals The New York Times

Salaried or earning from business and profession? Not everyone can change Income Tax regimes every year The Financial Express

How to reduce penal interest payable on tax if ITR filing delayed due to glitches in site Economic Times

Keep tax regime simple to check dodging, Supreme Court tells govt Times of India

‘Forced formalisation behind the surge in tax collections’ The Financial Express

Can I invest mutual fund profits in flats to save income tax? Mint

House Democrats propose new tax hikes to pay for their $3.5 trillion bill: Here are the details CNBC

House Democrats Set to Propose Corporate Tax Rate of 26.5% Bloomberg

Labour plans to raise £500m by closing fund managers’ tax loophole The Guardian

Top 1 Percent Evade $163 Billion a Year in Taxes, Treasury Finds The New York Times

ITC Rating: buy: Status quo on tax is a positive for firm The Financial Express

Mumbai: Some breather: No property tax hike this year too Free Press Journal

Are HNIs mulling over migration? A bird's eye view of Indian tax, regulatory framework CNBCTV18

House Bill Raises Chance for Global Pact to Curb Corporate Tax Havens The New York Times

Income tax: Finance Ministry relaxes TDS provisions for ST community Mint

Income Tax Rule Change: Taxpayers Get Another Opportunity to File Tax Settlement News18

Tax Truths: Tax buoyancy & the underlying state of the economy The Financial Express

Income Tax refunds: CBDT issues Rs 70,120 cr between April 1 and Sept 6 Business Today

Infosys row: The unanswered questions on the tax portal Hindustan Times

Post Office Savings Account: Check eligibility, tax exemption, better returns and more Zee News

New vs Old Tax Regime for ITR filing (AY 2021-2022): What should salaried employees choose? The Financial Express

MC Insider: Guess who’s the richest crypto investor in India, a shocking CEO exit, tax evasion moves, CD... Moneycontrol

Tax on social media influencers: Why do they have to pay tax and how is it calculated in India? Economic Times

House vote on $3.5 trillion budget raises prospect of higher taxes on the rich CNBC

Filing your income tax returns? Check your form 26AS details first Moneycontrol.com

UK’s Boris Johnson to hike taxes to tackle Covid and social-care crises CNBC

ITR Filing: Which income tax return form is applicable to you for FY 2020-21 Economic Times

Three tax inspectors among four held for illegal raid in Mumbai The Hindu

Democrats consider new taxes aimed at CEO pay, stock buybacks for $3.5 trillion budget plan CNBC

Did you file your income tax return using the correct form? Find out here Economic Times

Income Tax Return: ITR filing deadline to get extended due to glitches Zee News

Only 28% of NRIs regularly filing tax returns in India: Survey Mint

Companies Lobbying Against Infrastructure Tax Increases Have Avoided Paying Billions in Taxes The Intercept

Income Tax Return Filing Deadline: CBDT Extends Due Date of Various ITR e-filing Forms News18

Progressives’ Tax-the-Rich Dreams Fade as Democrats Struggle for Votes The Wall Street Journal

Top mistakes to avoid while filing Income Tax Return (ITR) for AY 2021-22 this month The Financial Express

Income Tax Return filing deadline under section 3 of The Direct Tax Vivad se Vishwas Act extended Moneycontrol

Democrats and Lobbyists to Battle Over Tax Increases for Biden’s Social Policy Bill The New York Times

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