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Tax Jokes and Quotes

Tax Jokes and Quotes

Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?

Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner

Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don't fret, just go dig out your past tax returns.

Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes."

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now."

Quote: "It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required."

Q: Who audits IRS agents?

Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."

Q: How do you drive a CPA insane?

A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.

Quote: "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect."

Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?

Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."

Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth?

A: Have them fill out a tax return.

Quote: "Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr."

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado?

A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house.

Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?"

People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.

Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.

In The News:

One GST, nine taxes BusinessLineAfter the 32nd meeting of the GST Council, the government will find itself in a uncomfortable position to defend the catch-line “One Nation, One Tax” for GST.

The IRS is recalling 46,000 workers to handle tax returns Associated Press2019 vs. 2018 tax calculator: See how your tax bill will change CNETDidn't withhold enough for taxes? IRS drops penalties on 2018 returns Detroit Free PressIRS to waive penalties for under-withholding after Trump tax changes USA TODAYIRS waiving penalty for some in first filing season under Trump's tax law | TheHill The HillView full coverage on Google News

List of taxes that every Indian pays: From GST to Income Tax India TodayThe taxes are divided between the state and central government.

Income Tax: Definition, Brackets and State-By-State Differences TheStreetThe taxes on the earnings you made over the year are known as income tax. How is it calculated and how much are federal vs. state income taxes?

Government eases process for startups to seek tax exemption on angel fund investments Economic TimesThe government has eased the procedure for startups to seek income tax exemption on investments from angel funds as part of efforts to address concerns of ...

The 70 Percent Solution: What Are Taxes For? BloombergQuint(Bloomberg Opinion) -- Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's proposal to tax income above $10 million at 70 percent has generated a lot of debate.

All the Tax Deductions You Can Take for 2018 LifehackerThis tax season promises to be an...interesting one, with the government shutdown and new tax law provisions colliding to create a perfect storm of confusion ...

MNCs in a fix over ‘dual’ tax notices Economic TimesThe income tax department has a backup plan if things don't go its way when making a demand on companies — a safety net in the form of protective notices.

Taxes in US Are Low Overall But Not for High Earners BloombergHigh, progressive income taxes and low consumption taxes add up to a system that generates lots of complaints and not so much revenue.

These new tax laws allow you to save more tax in FY2018-19: Here's how Economic TimesBudget 2018 introduced certain changes in tax laws that allow you to save more tax than you could in previous years. Here's a look at these new rules and how ...

China to cut taxes, keep policy flexible to counter slowdown Economic TimesChina plans to slash taxes, step up spending and provide ample financing to private and small enterprises to help counter the country's worst slowdown since ...

Section 80C limit: Should you use only life insurance to save taxes? Moneycontrol.comIt is not mandatory to save tax 'only via' insurance. Combination of other investment products (PPF, ELSS, etc.) will produce better results for you and your ...

Will interim Budget 2019 reduce your tax? Economic TimesRumours are rife that the government will try to woo the middle class with major tax cuts in its last Budget before the polls.

What to know before you take an advance on your tax refund CNBCFurloughed workers and consumers worried about shutdown-related refund delays may find it more tempting this year to use so-called refund anticipation loans.

Ready, set, file: Everything you need to know about completing your 2018 return CNBCThe government shutdown and the new tax law will make this tax season a busy one. However, CPAs say you can help speed the process along by taking these ...

How To Save Taxes under Section 80C in 2019? MoneylifeJanuary is the start of a new calendar year; but for many people, it is also the start of the search for a tax-saving product for the current financial year.

On Your Side: Why you might owe more in state taxes KY3Tax pros say the best thing you can do is file right away.

Keki Mistry calls for lower taxes to end black money Economic TimesMUMBAI: There is a need to bring down the tax rates from the current high levels as it will help in improving revenue collection and reduce black money ...

Taxman issues prosecution notices to MNCs to meet steep revenue targets Economic TimesExperts say mechanical approach led to slapping of notices even for small tax issues.

Saving income tax: 'Focus on choosing the right product; NPS a good long-term bet' Moneycontrol.comNPS is a great long-term product that offers lots of flexibility to invest in multiple assets, with low charges.

I-T department wants Kannada film fraternity to pay taxes The News MinuteThe Income-Tax (I-T) department will soon hold a meeting with the Kannada film industry fraternity on the need for paying taxes and filing returns, a top official ...

Budget 2019: Why there is a strong case to lower income tax rates in India The Financial ExpressOn a practical basis, there are many reasons why there should be further easing of both the income tax rates as well as the exemption limits.

Coming soon: Income-tax refunds in a day BusinessLineInfosys roped in to roll out ₹4241-crore project to make filing of returns a breeze.

Here is how to maintain tax discipline in the last quarter of the fiscal Moneycontrol.comDo timely submit the proof of any tax saving investment you have made or deduction you are eligible to, so that excess deduction of taxes doesn't take place.

9 Tax Credits You Need to Know Motley FoolHere are the must-know details behind nine of the most popular tax credits available in the United States.

13 Best Tax Moves To Start 2019 ForbesThe 2018 tax season is going to bring some surprises to a lot of taxpayers – some good, some not so good. Best tax moves to start in 2019Getty. We had a major ...

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has kick-started the Democratic tax debate with her 70% marginal rate idea CNBCAfter three decades with top rates below 40 percent, a big hike from today's 37 percent poses risks politically and perhaps economically.

State of taxes in Westchester County: 2019 a year of uncertainty The Journal News | LoHud.comTo kick off 2019, The Journal News/lohud reporters are assessing the state of critical issues on their beats. In this story, investigative reporter Mark Lungariello ...

Assessment order passed on taxes of Rahul, Sonia but not given effect, I-T informs SC Economic TimesThe Income Tax department informed the Supreme Court Tuesday that an assessment order (AO) with respect to the tax of top Congress leaders Rahul Gandhi ...

Estimated taxes are due Jan. 15 and you don't get a reprieve despite the shutdown CNBCIf you owe estimated quarterly taxes, your next payment is due by Jan. 15. And no, the government shutdown won't give you a reprieve.

Investing in share market? These are the charges and taxes on stock trading, equity investments you should know about Zee BusinessInvesting in stock markets is a lucrative but a risky option. Not just this, the investors are often confused about different taxes, charges, calculations, tax ...

America is discussing raising taxes for the rich. Should India consider this too? Scroll.inIndia's direct tax collections and tax to GDP ratio are significantly lower than those of other large economies.

Venture Capital body submits its Angel Tax proposal to Govt Economic TimesBENGALURU: The Indian Private Equity & Venture Capital Association (IVCA) has submitted a three-step proposal to the Central Board of Direct Taxes (CBDT) ...

GST net: Spotting tax evasion easier under new regime The Financial ExpressAs a multi-stage levy, the goods and services tax (GST) was supposed to make evasion difficult, but the figures for the first nine months of the current fiscal show ...

Murphy hungers to hike your taxes New Jersey 101.5 FM RadioTRENTON — When he was running for governor, Phil Murphy was up front about his progressive agenda, and warned it came with a cost. Since he took office, ...

'Pink tax' bill proposes women's hygiene products be exempt WOWTWomen could get a bit of a break on taxes in Nebraska. A proposed bill could make feminine hygiene products tax free.

Salisbury schools asking LVHN to pay its fair share in property taxes 69News WFMZ-TVALLENTOWN, Pa. - The Salisbury Township School District takes no issue with the aggressive expansion Lehigh Valley Health Network has undergone in ...

From sliced bagels to cess on cow welfare: Unusual taxes people pay around the world Moneycontrol.comIn Switzerland, those who wish to get a pet need to pay taxes, which has to be paid annually and varies in each municipality.

How much tax you will pay on lottery tickets, these ministers will decide The Financial ExpressWith an aim to address the disparity on tax structure, a Group of Ministers (GoM) on issues related to lottery has been constituted on Wednesday.

Why you could pay more in income taxes and for shopping online in 2019 AZCentralState legislatures might try to tax more items this year, from sports betting to marijuana. Here are some current trends.

Taxpayers Unprepared For Changes In Trump's Tax Law ForbesJeff Fishman, founder JSF Financial, a financial planning and investment management firm in Los Angeles, said many of the changes in the tax law passed last ...

Belmont Co. property taxes to be sent out soon WTOV SteubenvilleThe past few months, many Belmont County homeowners have been contesting their appraisal values. Belmont County Treasurer Kathy Kelich said that ...

Budget in a minute: The different types of taxes that earn government revenue Moneycontrol.comThe government's primary sources of revenue are direct and indirect taxes. In the run-up to Budget 2019, Gaurav Choudhury, Deputy Executive Editor at ...

Federal shutdown means tax refunds may be delayed CNBCAccountants are worrying about the prospect of an extended federal shutdown as tax season approaches. That means there's a possibility that tax refunds may ...

Multinational corporations asked to pay 15% higher tax on ad spend Economic TimesThe tax department has increased demand on advertising, marketing and sales promotion (AMP) expenses of multinationals by about 15%, said people with ...

Withheld too little tax in 2018? The IRS might give you a pass on penalties CNBCIf you failed to withhold sufficient taxes from your pay in 2018, the IRS might grant you some forgiveness. The tax agency said on Wednesday it would waive the ...

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has a plan to tax the wealthiest Americans 60% to 70%, and it highlights a detail about taxes most people get wrong Business InsiderAlexandria Ocasio-Cortez's plan to tax the richest Americans offers a prime example of how the progressive tax system works in the US.

Tax Cut Is Better (for Companies) and Worse (for Everyone Else) BloombergPresident Donald Trump and the Republicans' tax cut is proving to be vastly more generous for corporate America, and vastly more expensive for taxpayers, ...

Federal taxes vs. federal benefits: how much each state gives and gets Business InsiderAre you paying more in federal taxes than what you receive back in federal benefits? We took a look.

SBI Tax Saving Scheme: How to invest, how much you may invest and save in taxes The Financial ExpressLooking for investment instruments to save tax? Check out how SBI's tax saving scheme can help you.

Should I invest in NPS to save more taxes? Economic TimesI have already invested in LIC and other tax saving schemes under Section 80C. I have two ELSS investments as well. I wanted to know if I should also invest in ...

How Google Dodges Paying Taxes In South Africa 2oceansvibe NewsGoogle is happy to take money from South Africans for ads. They aren't happy to pay tax on it, though, which is why they're finding creative ways around it.

The Democrats’ Latest Idea on Taxes Will Only Help Trump BloombergA top marginal income tax rate of 70 percent is bad economics and even worse politics.

The state of Rockland taxes and government for 2019 The Journal News | LoHud.comA preview of what to expect as Rockland County and local elected leaders seek to balance fiscal restraints with a need for services and improvements.

White House promises tax refunds will go out, but there's hardly anyone at the IRS to do the work CNBCA Trump administration official said Monday that federal income tax refunds would indeed go out despite a large part of the government being shut down.

State of the State: Cuomo proposes major change to STAR tax rebate program Rochester Democrat and ChronicleHomeowners earning between $250000 to $500000 a year would get a check back for their STAR rebates to help pay for school taxes.

Here's how the new US tax brackets for 2019 affect every American taxpayer Business InsiderThe IRS released new tax brackets for 2019 that slightly change the federal tax rate ranges for income earned this year.

How to use home loan and rental outgo to save income tax Moneycontrol.comA taxpayer can claim deduction of the amount paid towards repayment of the home loan from his income. Such loan must have been borrowed from specified ...

France to slap Apple, Google with new digital tax in 2019 Economic TimesSan Francisco: With efforts to reform a European Union tax law not bringing the desired results, France is going to introduce from January 1, 2019 a digital tax on ...

How to win public support for a global carbon tax Nature.comSurvey shows charges on emissions could be popular if revenues are given back to citizens, find Stefano Carattini, Steffen Kallbekken and Anton Orlo.

Angel Tax: Government, Babus Not In Sync With India's Start-Up Story, Says R Chandrashekhar NDTV NewsThe country's tax laws have some of the biggest names in its tech start-ups worried. Rajan Anandan of Google, along with ten other signatories including ...

Opinion | Why expanding India’s direct tax net is relevant LivemintIt is trapped between nations that get a lot of foreign aid and the ones with strong tax collections.

New governor sees need to rebuild Kansas without raising taxes KSNT NewsNew Democratic Gov. Laura Kelly told Kansas legislators Wednesday that the state faces an emergency in its child welfare system and is "completely ...

Decoded: How to minimise your tax outgo while filing income tax returns India TodayFrom claiming House rent allowance to returns on tax-free investments, many benefits can be claimed if individuals are adept at the process.

Confusing U.S. Tax Laws Lead to $5 Billion In Unrealized Crypto Losses newsBTCNew data reveals that only 34% of the losses U.S. Bitcoin and crypto investors saw in 2018 have been realized, suggesting Americans are confused by tax law.

Venezuela Decrees Crypto Operators Must Pay Taxes in Cryptocurrencies Bitcoin NewsThe Venezuelan government has published a decree requiring taxpayers with crypto operations in the country to pay their taxes in cryptocurrencies. Similarly ...

Cryptocurrency and Taxes: How to Use 2018's Losses to Your Advantage Bitcoin NewsTaxes have been a hot topic in the cryptocurrency world this year. Many countries have been trying to figure out how to tax crypto assets, while traders.

Tax Planning For Complete Beginners News18How can we start planning and saving on taxes? For starters, we need to calculate our total income that is earned from all sources including salary, property, ...

Prosecution notices sent to MNCs increase as tax sleuths rush to meet target Times NowNew Delhi: Tax sleuths have reportedly sent prosecution notices to directors of several multinationals, increasing their efforts of collections in the light of meeting ...

Ficci for cut in corporate tax rate in Budget Economic TimesNew Delhi: Industry chamber Ficci Sunday recommended the government to cut corporate tax rate across the board to 25 per cent irrespective of turnover in the ...

Angel tax: double jeopardy, single indemnity? YourStory.comHow the angel tax may force founders to seek indemnities from investors about the source of their investment.Many a funding round has been delayed, if not ...

How taxes, and death, will impact the federal election Toronto StarBenjamin Franklin was right. Death and taxes are the only certitudes. But in electoral politics it is usually, “Why so much tax and for what!” that drives decisions ...

Incentivise, not tax, angel investors: Amitabh Kant Economic TimesThe government needs to incentivise angel investors eyeing startups and not tax them to give a boost to Prime Minister Narendra Modi's flagship Startup India ...

Year 2018 in review: LTCG, changes in direct taxes and a late NPS bonanza Moneycontrol.comThe standard deduction of Rs.40000 meant that a pensioner who is at the highest tax bracket of 30% would save Rs.12000 of taxes.

Rethinking Carbon Taxes National ReviewFor years, advocates of a carbon tax have insisted that they'd ultimately win over the general public, usually by using carbon tax revenue to offset other taxes or ...

For Tax Purposes, ‘the Rich’ Are People Who Earn More Than You Do BloombergQuint(Bloomberg Opinion) -- When it comes to taxation, “the rich” keep getting richer. In the U.S., even politicians who want to raise taxes feel obliged to shield the ...

Taxman on a refunds spree as income tax returns hit record high in FY19 Economic TimesNEW DELHI: The current fiscal year is likely to be a watershed for income tax compliance and the tax department is returning the favour with quick refunds.

Focussing on improving compliance, identifying areas which have escaped tax net: Revenue Secy Times NowNew Delhi: The government is looking at bringing untaxed sectors in the tax net as well as improving compliance to raise the tax-to-GDP ratio, Revenue ...

Together Baton Rouge report questions ITEP impact on business tax climate Greater Baton Rouge Business ReportTogether Baton Rouge released a report today that argues the average East Baton Rouge Parish business pays more than twice as much in property taxes, on ...

NPS investment proof: How to claim income tax deduction LivemintAn NPS subscriber can also download the receipt of voluntary contribution made in Tier I account by logging into his/her account.

Maximise tax savings using health insurance for yourself and family Moneycontrol.comPayments made towards health insurance premiums are also eligible for tax deductions under section 80D of the Indian Income Tax Act.

40% property owners in Bengaluru don’t pay tax Times of IndiaBENGALURU: Owners of two out of every five properties in the city continue to avoid paying the stipulated property tax promptly, according to BBMP off.

Miami Woos New York Homebuyers Fleeing Over Tax Law BloombergBack in the go-go days, Florida real estate executive Daniel de la Vega and his team crisscrossed Latin America wooing clients. These days he's taking ...

I-T department takes steps to stop refunds based on bogus investments Economic TimesNEW DELHI: The Income Tax department has introduced additional checks to prevent outgo towards bogus refund claims based on fraudulent investments ...

Middle class got ₹2 lakh-crore tax rebate annually during Modi regime, says Jaitley BusinessLineFinance Minister Arun Jaitley on Friday said the government has given ₹2 lakh-crore tax benefit annually to the middle class without a single tax being raised.

Tax Deductions That Went Away This Year InvestopediaHere are the tax deductions that went away with tax reform.

Overstock to Pay State Tax in Bitcoin, First U.S. Company to Do So FortuneOnline retailer Overstock announced it would pay a part of its Ohio state business tax using the famous digital currency.

Income tax changes in 2018: Key things to know LivemintWhile the changes to the deduction limit spelled trouble for those in the higher income bracket in 2018, it offered relief to senior citizens.

Hospitals may have to split medicines, services bill for tax Economic TimesNEW DELHI: The Goods and Services Tax (GST) Council will soon consider a proposal that makes it mandatory for hospitals to bill medicines and ...

IRS confirms tax season will start Jan. 28, despite government shutdown CNBCThe IRS announced on Monday night that income tax filing season would begin on Jan. 28 and that it would pay refunds to taxpayers, in spite of the government ...

Inheritance tax: Sharing's easier minus arm-twist Economic TimesProposals for a higher levy or a new tax on the rich is a vote-winner for any government, denting any image of pandering to crony capitalists. But finance minister ...

Tax queries: My wife is currently studying. Can I claim I-T deduction on tuition fee that I pay for her? Economic TimesDeduction under Section 80C is allowed only for the tuition fee of only up to two children, provided their educational institution is situated within India.

Greensburg Salem votes to keep any tax increase below state limit Tribune-ReviewIn a ritual that marks the beginning of budget season, the Greensburg Salem School Board voted unanimously Wednesday to keep any tax increase for 2019 to ...

How LTCG tax will be calculated on shares where STT is not paid Economic TimesYou will need to justify the cost and purchase date of these shares through documents like physical share certificates, bank statements, demat account ...

Tax changes in 2018 that have affected your personal finances Economic TimesHere are some of the important tax changes directly impacting your personal finances that came into effect this year and the dates when they became effective.

IT industry seeks clarity on tax provisions for BPO, KPO services, quashing of angel tax Economic TimesNEW DELHI: IT industry body Nasscom has urged the government to clarify tax provisions that treat BPO-KPO services as intermediaries under GST rules, and ...

Budget in a minute: What is non-tax revenue? Moneycontrol.comGaurav Choudhury, Deputy Executive Editor at Moneycontrol explains all you need to know about non-tax revenue and major sources of government for such ...

Confederation of Indian Industry seeks corporate tax cut, higher I-T slab Economic TimesNEW DELHI: The Confederation of Indian Industry (CII) has sought a reduction in corporate tax as well as rise in income tax slab to benefit both corporates and ...

Tax optimiser: Chandramouli can cut tax by Rs 83,000 via NPS, tax-free perks Economic TimesBangalore-based IT professional T. Chandramouli pays a very high tax because his pay structure is not very tax friendly. A good 15% of his income goes up in ...

Here's How U.S. Businesses Actually Used Their Tax Cuts BloombergRepublicans predicted a growth explosion while Democrats warned of fat-cat investors. Both sides were wrong.

Tax Jokes and Quotes

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