Tax Jokes and Quotes

Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?

Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner

Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don't fret, just go dig out your past tax returns.

Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes."

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now."

Quote: "It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required."

Q: Who audits IRS agents?

Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."

Q: How do you drive a CPA insane?

A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.

Quote: "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect."

Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?

Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."

Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth?

A: Have them fill out a tax return.

Quote: "Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr."

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado?

A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house.

Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?"

People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.

Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.

In The News:

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These people won't have their taxes ready by April 15  CNBCIf there was ever a year in which you were likely to ask the IRS for more time, this is probably it. Filers have four more weeks to submit their 2018 tax returns and ...
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Double whammy: NJ's taxes keep rising, tax rebates keep falling  New Jersey 101.5 FM RadioA dozen years ago, New Jersey's Homestead benefit program reached what turned out to be its zenith. It doubled in size in one year to over $2.2 billion; its more ...
Money Matters: Help if you cannot pay taxes  69News WFMZ-TVTax time is never fun. Even less so when you owe money for income taxes and don't have it. If you're in that situation, you might be tempted not to even file which ...
How to tax the rich, explained  Vox.comIt's no accident that the Democratic Party went from wanting a 39.6 percent top tax rate to wanting much more.
Last-minute rush for tax saving? You can look at these ELSS funds  Economic TimesWith just a few days left of the current financial year, many investors would be searching last minute for investment option under Section 80C to save on their ...
Tax Law Is Full of Exceptions  Wall Street JournalAn Internal Revenue *Service* official once introduced me to the rule of PUNG. When writing about taxes, he said, make frequent use of the words “probably, ...
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Here are 5 quirky deductions you may not know about that can help lower your taxes  CNBCIf you are looking for a way to pay less to the IRS, think outside the box when it comes to deductions.
CBDT gives 90 startups immunity from Angel Tax  Economic TimesIn what will give relief to 90 startups from taxman's questioning their valuation during fund raising rounds and slapping angel tax, the Central Board of Direct ...
How Democrats Want to Tax the Rich  BloombergDemocrats are leading the 2020 presidential campaign with a slew of tax-the-rich proposals, representing a tone change revealing a party moving to the left.
Blow to I-T department’s year-end tax recovery drive  Economic TimesNew Delhi: The income tax department's plans to arm itself with an SC order to boost year-end recoveries have hit a roadblock. The authorities had approached ...
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Income tax, statutory claims part of ‘operational debt’  Times of IndiaIndia Business News: Senior lawyers Rajiv Ranjan and Sugam Seth, who had been asked to assist the appellate tribunal, concluded that tax is not related to the ...
Govt banking on advance tax collection to meet direct tax target of Rs 12 lakh cr  Economic TimesNEW DELHI: With fiscal math under pressure due to lower buoyancy in tax collection, the government is eyeing advance tax payment to meet the revised Budget ...
Right now is a 'really hard time' for China to introduce a property tax  CNBCZhang Xin, chief executive of real estate developer Soho China, said on Saturday that the country's economy is too "soft" for a property tax.
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Walters: Are big tax increases coming to California?  The Mercury NewsNewsom and Democrats in the Legislature may need a bigger tax bite to finance their expansionist ambitions.
Illegal immigration taxes: Unauthorized immigrants pay state taxes  Vox.comUndocumented workers paid about $11 billion in state and local taxes, according to a 2017 report by the Institute of Taxation and Economic Policy.
Angel Tax: From despair to hope  EntrackrNow the debate on Angel Tax was heating up in the country. Many startup ecosystem leaders were making their opinions heard.
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Tax And Asset Protection Huckster Causes Big Problems For Taxpayer In Burbach  ForbesThe U.S. Tax Court slams a taxpayers with disallowed deductions and penalties after the taxpayer relied on an unqualified individual for advice and planning.
Why Americans Don’t Cheat on Their Taxes  The AtlanticThe weirdly hopeful story of how the U.S. came to be a leader in tax compliance.
I need to sell my father's cottage – what tax do I pay?  The GuardianQ I recently inherited my father's cottage as sole beneficiary under his will; probate was completed on 7 February 2019. Reluctantly, I have decided to sell the ...
Last chance: 50 percent off H&R Block tax software  CNETYou can't ignore it much longer: Your taxes are due on April 15. But burying your head in the sand may have finally paid off: H&R Block is offering 50 percent off ...
Powerball jackpot jumps to $625 million. Here's the tax bite if you win  CNBCUncle Sam would shave tens of millions of dollars off the windfall before it even reaches the winner, and more would be due at tax time.
Mangaluru: ICICI Bank opens digital tax collection centre for MCC  Times of IndiaMANGALURU: ICICI Bank in association with Mangaluru City Corporation (MCC) on Wednesday inaugurated digital tax collection centre to facilitate digita.
7 red flags that could trigger an IRS audit of your taxes  USA TODAYNo one wants a visit from the Internal Revenue *Service*. But if you get too generous with your calculations, you may need to back up your tax return.
"Loose Papers": Tax Department On Bribery Claim Against BS Yeddyurappa  NDTV NewsThe Income Tax Department on Saturday dismissed as a "forgery document" and a "set of loose papers", the ''Yeddyurappa diary'' about alleged bribe payment ...
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Why Historians Are Like Tax Collectors  ForbesThe 'point' of history, the role of the historian, has always been a bit uncertain. They're often characterized as just cataloguers of facts but how scholars are now ...
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Trump's tax cuts will boost the US economy for two more years at most, says Nobel Prize winner  CNBCThe United States has been a bright spot among advanced economies, partly thanks to President Donald Trump's $1.5 trillion tax reform. But the boost can't last ...
Where to invest to save tax? From PPF to NPS, top 8 investment options for salaried persons in India  The Financial ExpressHere are top eight investment options that salaried individuals can consider to meet various life goals based on their risk appetite and time horizon.
4 important tax benefits of buying a house jointly  Economic TimesBy Homi Mistry Buying a house is a dream for millions of people in India. The government has provided various tax benefits to individuals to encourage them to ...
5 simple tips to save income tax at the eleventh hour  Times NowTax saving is a year-long process and not a last-minute activity. However, if you haven't done the needful yet, here are some easy options to go to without having ...
GST on realty: Builders can choose between two tax rates on incomplete projects  LivemintNew Delhi: Builders can now choose between two different tax rates in case of incomplete residential projects, the Goods and Services Tax (GST) Council said ...
Quick Tip: Beware of 'ghost' tax preparers  WLS-TVTax returns are due soon and the IRS wants you to beware of 'ghost' tax perparers that may threaten your return.
How to save income tax via medical expenditures under sections 80D, 80DD, 80DDB, 80U  Economic TimesIf you can't afford to pay for health insurance premium or unable to buy one due to pre-existing conditions, then also you can save tax via medical expenditures.
Tax optimiser: How salaried Kamal can save Rs 40,000 tax via perks, NPS  Economic TimesNot only should you ask your employer/company for the NPS benefit, but you should also ask for other tax-free perks like LTA, telephone bill. You can reduce ...
Yes, We Need a Green New Deal. Just Not the One Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Is Offering.  The New York TimesYes, of course, we need a Green New Deal to address the world's most urgent crisis, global warming. Just, please, not the one that a flotilla of liberal politicians, ...
Where you'll pay the most – and least – on state and local taxes in the US  USA TODAYFrom the checkout counter to the 1040 form due every April, what Americans end up paying in taxes depends largely on where they live.
Suze Orman: If you get a tax refund, you're 'making one of the biggest mistakes out there'  CNBCFinancial expert Suze Orman says that it's not smart to get a tax refund because you're basically giving the government an interest-free loan. Instead, you should ...
Time for candidates to disclose their tax returns  The Washington PostIt is remarkable, really, that only two of the Democratic presidential candidates have disclosed their tax returns. Given how many are calling for President Trump ...
If you think your spouse has hidden money secrets, tax returns will show red flags  CNBCFew people would voluntarily overpay the IRS by hundreds of thousands of dollars, but one retired accountant did exactly that in a bid to hide money from his ...
Tax collectors chase rich New Yorkers moving to low-tax states. Auditors inspect cell records, even your dog's vet bills  CNBCThe cat-and-mouse game between state tax collectors and wealthy New Yorkers who are moving to Florida has reached new levels — and gone high tech.
Tax queries: Annuity received on a periodic basis is taxable as an income under the head ‘Salaries’  Economic TimesDilip Lakhani Senior Chartered Accountant, answers queries from our readers on income tax and other levies.
What is Pink Tax and who gets impacted by it? Find out  The Financial ExpressPink tax is subtle and not illegal, but it's substantial. Here's all you need to know about this tax.
To tax or not? Govt makes last ditch attempt to save India-US trade package  Business StandardLess than a month before the country goes to polls, the government is pushing forward on the proposed India-US trade package to clear pending bilateral issues ...
Philippines to tax foreign online casino workers amid Chinese backlash  Nikkei Asian ReviewMANILA -- The Philippines on Monday said it was fast-tracking a process to tax foreign online casino workers in the country, as President Rodrigo Dute.
China economy: Beijing unveils $298bn tax cuts to boost growth  BBC NewsChina's number two leader Li Keqiang has warned the country faces "a tough struggle," as he laid out plans to prop up the world's second-largest economy.
Loveland sales tax on groceries: Program to look at arguments against and for it  Loveland Reporter-HeraldAccording to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, nearly two-thirds of states exempt most food purchases from sales tax.
Americans want the wealthy and corporations to pay more taxes, but are elected officials listening?  Brookings InstitutionEconomic inequality is on the rise in the United States and has been for the past 40 years. Prominent Democrats have offered several proposals to curb ...
How fees and taxes can ruin your retirement  The Globe and MailThe stock market produced big gains in the past and investors dream about retiring on similar returns in the future. But their plans might be ruined because the ...
Treasury rolls out extra relief on tax penalties  CNNAmerican taxpayers who fell short on paying their IOUs to Uncle Sam over the course of 2018 will be getting some more relief from the Internal Revenue *Service*.
Billionaire investor Ron Baron: It's OK for me to pay 50% in taxes — but I could always move to Florida if I didn't want to  CNBCBillionaire Ron Baron says capitalism works for people if "they are educated and are able to take advantage of the system."
Prime Minister Scott Morrison hints he will fast-track tax cuts for millions of Australian workers  Daily MailThe prime minister said he always jumped at an opportunity to give people a break.
Salaries of nuns, priests working in schools liable to tax: Madras HC  BusinessLineSays provisions of the I-T Act are areligious and apolitical in nature.
Ghaziabad police seize 100 kg gold; Income Tax department alerted  Times NowGhaziabad: A shocking incident recently came to light when gold worth Rs 35 crore was seized in Kadrabad, Modinagar on Friday. Four people were allegedly ...
Primer: All you wanted to know about tax breaks for selling multiple houses  Business StandardBuying and selling properties is part and parcel of any taxpayers life. It is not uncommon to purchase or sell houses either for monetary gains or to move into a ...
A visit to a medical lab or diagnostic centre can help you save tax; here's how  Economic TimesThis is a yearly phenomenon that happens at the end of every financial year. All kinds of financial *service* providers - right from banks to insurers to fund houses ...
Anti-tax Legislature wants to make it harder for county voters to say yes to new taxes  Sarasota Herald-TribuneTALLAHASSEE — Amid complaints that Florida's tax-averse, Republican-led Legislature fails to steer enough cash to local governments, voters in 11 counties ...
Most people want higher taxes on rich to support poor – OECD  The Guardian'Deeply troubling' survey of 21 countries finds 60% believe they are not getting 'fair share'
Spring Clean Your Paperwork: When Can You Toss Your Tax Returns?  Motley FoolShredding your tax documents too soon could land you in trouble with the IRS, but you don't want to hoard paper, either. So which to keep and which to shred?
Foreign students who stay to work in UK pay £3.2bn in taxes – study  The GuardianReport finds highly qualified, non-British graduates do not take jobs from local residents.
Federated Farmers Marlborough president slams tax reform as funds for the 'useless'  Stuff.co.nzA regional farming president says tax reforms will use farmers like ATMs to pay for the "useless".
Disabled can claim tax saving deductions up to Rs 1.25 lakh under sections 80DD, 80U  Economic TimesThe Income Tax Act allows deductions from your gross total income, before the levy of tax, if medical expenditure has been incurred on the treatment of a ...
I-T department, other tax agencies can initiate insolvency: NCLAT  Business StandardThe Income Tax department of the central government, the sales tax department of the state government and other local authorities “who are entitled for dues ...
Do I have to pay tax on insurance maturity proceeds?  Economic TimesI bought a Ulip in November 2008 with a 10-year tenure and recently got the maturity proceeds of Rs 1.8 lakh. The insurer did not cut any TDS on the maturity ...
Post Office Time Deposit Account: Interest Rate, Income Tax Benefits And Other Details  NDTV NewsPost office time deposit account can be opened in the name of a minor and a joint account can be opened by two adults.
How to avoid last-minute tax planning mistakes  Economic TimesTaxpayers often commit mistakes in a rush to save tax. Here's how to avoid investing errors you might regret later.

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