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Tax Jokes and Quotes

Tax Jokes and Quotes

Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?

Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner

Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don't fret, just go dig out your past tax returns.

Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes."

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now."

Quote: "It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required."

Q: Who audits IRS agents?

Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."

Q: How do you drive a CPA insane?

A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.

Quote: "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect."

Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?

Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."

Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth?

A: Have them fill out a tax return.

Quote: "Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr."

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado?

A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house.

Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?"

People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.

Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.

In The News:

How to correct mistakes made at the time of paying income tax Economic TimesAt the time of filing income tax return (ITR), if there is any income tax payable pending, then you are required to pay it before completing the process of ITR filing.

Direct Tax Code: All you need to know about govt panel's recommendations India TodayWhat to expect on personal taxation from the Direct Taxes Code BusinessLineGovernment panel moots tax relief for companies LivemintTask force on direct taxes: Panel for review of tax brackets, surcharges Economic TimesDirect Tax Code 2.0: Task force for big relief to individual taxpayers Business StandardView full coverage on Google News

The new tax plan |India Today Insight India TodayThe Modi government considers a Donald Trump-style overhaul of India's direct taxes to increase compliance and reduce 'tax terror'.

Stimulus package: How the rollback of surcharge works BusinessLineNo relief for other capital gains, such as the sale of unlisted equity shares, debt instruments, salaries, income from house property, business income, and other ...

India needs single corporate tax rate of 25%: report LivemintNEW DELHI : The Indian government should move towards a simple tax structure with a single corporate tax rate of 25%, without any surcharge or cess above it, ...

View: NDA government could reform India's regressive taxation philosophy Economic TimesBy Puja Mehra Key direct taxation proposals in the July 5 budget triggered a sharp precipitation in business and market sentiment. On Friday, finance minister ...

Govt withdraws higher surcharge tax on FPIs and domestic investors Economic TimesThe FM said Rs 70000 crore will released upfront to PSU banks for additional credit facilities.

Govt gives businesses four months to settle indirect tax disputes LivemintNEW DELHI : Businesses can now settle their pending disputes relating to central excise duty and *service* tax within four months starting 1 September under the ...

Small startups may not get promised tax holiday Economic TimesNEW DELHI: Indian startups with turnover in excess of Rs 25 crore may have to pay income tax even though they may be eligible for the three-year tax holiday ...

Enhanced limits to reduce pending direct tax litigation in one stroke Business StandardA recent circular (number 17/2019) issued by the Central Board of Direct Taxes (CBDT) on August 8, 2019 is in one stroke set to dramatically reduce pending ...

Will a new direct tax law push up compliance? LivemintNumerous amendments over five decades, as well as the influence of case laws, often made it difficult to interpret the rules.Mint takes a look at what the new ...

How to claim and track income tax refund LivemintThe only way to get an income tax refund is to file your income tax returns (ITR).It is important to keep an eye on processing of ITR and refund claim status.

How a small tax-paying elite funds the Indian state LivemintThe top 1% individual taxpayers contribute nearly one-third of India's taxes, while the top 5% contribute nearly two-thirds of all the taxes collected.

Direct Tax Code may help bring change in mindset of taxpayers, authorities Business StandardThe report by the panel on the Direct Tax Code, currently under the consideration of the government, is believed to have suggested several measures to reduce ...

Govt panel gets time till Monday to submit direct tax code report LivemintThe panel, led by CBDT member Akhilesh Ranjan, was earlier required to submit its recommendations on Friday.The new direct tax code will try to simplify tax ...

Got an income tax notice? Now you can check if it is real or not Economic TimesYou can now check if the income tax notice or order that you have received is genuine or not. The income tax department has launched a facility on its e-filing ...

Policy | Put an end to tax terrorism Moneycontrol.comAbhijit Kumar Dutta. The unfortunate death of Cafe Coffee Day founder V G Siddhartha last month has left an unlikely sufferer — the income tax department.

Govt forms committee to rationalise additional taxes on Aviation Turbine Fuel MoneycontrolThe Aviation Ministry has formed a committee to rationalise additional taxes that airlines have to pay while uplifting Air Turbine Fuel (ATF) at airports across India ...

Solution to India’s economic malaise lies in cutting taxes and regulation BusinessLineRather than lower the role of government, Modi has stepped up regulations and enforcement to draconian levels all to justify good governance.

In relief to tax-payers, 2 more ITR forms will be pre-filled from FY21 BusinessLineTwo more forms for filing Income-Tax Returns (ITR) will be pre-filled from the next financial year (FY21), which will provide relief to taxpayers who do not seek ...

Income Tax filing: Here's what'll happen if you miss ITR filing last date Business TodayIf you still haven't filled your Income Tax Returns then you must act fast! August 31 is the deadline to file your I-T Returns. If you fail to file your taxes then you will ...

Income Tax Department issues checklist to trace unaccounted demonetisation cash Economic TimesNEW DELHI: In a bid to seize illegal cash, the Income Tax Department has issued a 17-point checklist to tax commissioners across the country to track those ...

Direct tax committee calls for major changes to reassessment rules Business StandardThe government-constituted task force for re-writing the direct tax legislation has suggested major changes in provisions for reopening and reassessment, in a ...

ITR forms with pre-filled investment data soon Economic TimesPre-filled forms will soon be able to pick salary breakup directly from an individuals Form 16.

Software firms want SEZ sops to stay, seek tax cut Economic TimesPropose extension of Special Economic Zones benefits for 20 more years; cite lower tax in other nations.

Cheer for the startup sector as FM relaxes angel tax rules LivemintBENGALURU : Finance minister Nirmala Sitharaman said startups registered with the Department for Promotion of Industry and Internal Trade (DPIIT) will be ...

Study: Franklin County has second-lowest tax burden in state NNY360For the second year in a row, a financial advice website has designated Franklin County as having the second-lowest tax burden among counties in New York ...

Small startups with turnover up to Rs 25Cr to get promised tax holiday: CBDT YourStoryIn a statement, the CBDT stated that startups will continue to receive the tax holiday as specified in the Section 80-IAC of the Income Tax Act, 1961.

The Moneycontrol Show | Investing in NCDs, Direct Tax Code, Market Strategies MoneycontrolSantosh Nair, Editor, Moneycontrol wraps the week's market action.

British citizens born in US risk having UK bank accounts frozen The GuardianTens of thousands of British citizens born in the US but who left when only a few months or years old risk having their bank accounts in Britain frozen because of ...

In Reversal, Trump Says He Is No Longer Considering Tax Cuts The Wall Street JournalPresident Trump ruled out a cut in the payroll tax and also said he wasn't looking to reduce capital-gains taxes by indexing gains to inflation.

Grandfathering clause to provide partial tax relief to foreign investors India TodayIn a major relief to Foreign Portfolio Investors (FPI) hit by budget proposal to levy higher surcharge on income tax, the government is considering a plan to ...

Trump's wild week of tax ideas continues with new promise if GOP sweeps in 2020 NNY360President Donald Trump on Saturday promised to cut taxes if Republicans win the White House and retake the House of Representatives next year, saying he ...

How a Totally Hypothetical Payroll Tax Cut Would Impact Your Paycheck Lifehacker AustraliaFor a portion of this calendar week, President Donald Trump considered cutting payroll taxes. “I've been thinking about payroll taxes for a long time,” he told ...

Sajid Javid will 'simplify' the tax system in first Budget BBC NewsChancellor Sajid Javid has said he wants to simplify the tax system ahead of his Budget in the autumn. In his first interview since becoming chancellor, Mr Javid ...

DTC panel's proposals may focus on cleaning up, making tax code more efficient, says A Prasanna MoneycontrolThe focus of the Direct Taxes Code (DTC) panel, which has submitted its recommendations to finance minister (FM) Nirmala Sitharaman, is likely to be on ...

European Council President Warns EU Will Retaliate If Donald Trump Taxes French Wine HuffPostEuropean Council President Donald Tusk warned Saturday that the European Union will retaliate if President Donald Trump pushes forward with his threatened ...

Amazon is under scrutiny for not paying federal income taxes. Here's how it got its tax burden down to less than $0. Business InsiderAmazon recorded a net federal tax credit for 2017 and 2018 and the company has paid a low tax rate for years. Here's how it did it.

Brave New World: Uncle Sam is taxing robots as companies invest in advanced tech New York Post Uncle Sam is padding the Treasury with millions of dollars to assess bots at the same time that corporations invest more in advanced technology and ...

Income Tax Returns filing: DIAL to help 1200 taxi drivers file I-T Returns for free at Delhi airport Business TodayThe Delhi International Airport Limited (DIAL) has announced that as part of its social responsibility, they will help 1,200 taxi drivers in Delhi-NCR file their ...

What is Direct Tax Code? Report likely today LivemintThe new direct tax code will try to make personal income tax rates more 'progressive'.Prime Minister Narendra Modi had last year told tax officials that the old ...

US to strike back against France's digital tax on tech firms Aljazeera.comAfter French president approves digital tax targeting US companies, Trump threatens 'substantial reciprocal' action.

Officials: Global approach to digital tax is still on track Washington PostA global attempt by more than 120 countries to find a way to more fairly tax global internet giants is moving ahead despite individual countries' deciding to ...

GST on electric vehicles, chargers slashed BusinessLineThe Goods & *Service* Tax (GST) Council on Saturday decided to lower the duty on all electric vehicles (EVs) and the charger for such vehicles. This is the ...

Tighten scrutiny of tax exemption claims on farm income: CAG to I-T Departement LivemintClaims of tax exemption on farm income have attracted the attention of the Comptroller and Auditor General of India (CAG), which has called for greater efforts to ...

Finance Ministry to cut tax on prize post PM nudge Economic TimesNEW DELHI: The Finance Ministry has withdrawn the tax exemption it had granted to the cash prize of Rs 1.3 crore received through the Seoul Peace Prize by ...

Income tax changes to 'cheaper' home, auto loans explained in 10 points LivemintFinance Minister Nirmala Sitharaman today announced a host of measures to revive the economy and shore up market sentiment, including steps to bring down ...

Tax resolution, amnesty scheme announced The HinduThe government has announced a new scheme aimed at eliminating the bulk of pending tax dispute cases besides providing partial amnesty to those having tax ...

Nicotine-free 'vape juice' will not escape new taxes The NationalUAE issues new information amid growing concern about safety of e-cigarettes.

Lawsuit: Ark Encounter Didn't Pay Its Fair Share of Taxes, Hurting Local Schools PatheosThere's a local battle brewing in Grant County, Kentucky between Ark Encounter, the Grant County Board of Education, and the local government.

Abolish income tax, hike FD interest, cut it on loans: Subramanian Swamy Moneycontrol.comSwamy made the remarks when asked if the steps taken by Finance Minister Nirmala Sitharaman would revive the growth.

10 salary components that can help employees reduce tax burden Economic TimesYour salary structure consists of several components which can help you reduce your tax burden. While some of these components are fully or partially taxable, ...

Capital gains: For FPIs, new SEBI norm is a tax-free ‘gift’ BusinessLineRegulator lets them invest from Gujarat Gift city, which enjoys a 10-year tax holiday.

Trump's banks won't tell court if they have his tax returns CNNLawyers for Deutsche Bank and Capital One repeatedly refused Friday to tell an appellate court in New York whether the banks are in possession of President ...

If monthly rent paid is below ₹50,000, there is no need to deduct tax at source LivemintI live in a flat and the monthly rent is ₹36,000. My employer contributes ₹19,000 towards the rent and I bear the remaining. Should the employer deduct tax ...

Property assessments rise countywide, could affect property taxes Journal TimesRACINE COUNTY — After the most recent round of property assessments, homeowners throughout the county have seen a rise in their property values.

Trump Floats a Tax Cut, Then Calls It Unneeded and Not Imminent BloombergPresident Donald Trump said “a lot of people” would like a cut in payroll taxes, but the White House isn't likely to immediately reduce that levy -- in part because ...

All tax letters, notices to carry identification numbers to be verifiable online from Oct 1, 2019 Economic TimesStarting October 1, 2019, all letters and notices from the income tax department will carry a computer-generated Document Identification Number (DIN) which will ...

You might need to maintain tax returns records for seven years LivemintIn today's digital age, income tax records can be maintained at little or no expense for long periods of time in a digital format. However, it is important to know the ...

ATO slugs Shell with $755m bill in fight against multinational tax avoidance The GuardianExclusive: Senior official says pursuit of resources groups over offshore projects has brought forward tax revenue by a decade.

Even before vetoes, poll by anti-tax Gov. Dunleavy shows Alaskans, narrowly, favoring more taxes Alaska Public Media NewsA newly-released poll commissioned by Republican Alaska Gov. Mike Dunleavy's office found that a narrow majority of respondents support raising taxes to help ...

Red Meat Could Be the Next Sin Tax After Sugar, Fitch Says BloombergMeat could be a target for higher taxes given criticism of the industry's role in climate change, deforestation and animal cruelty, according to a report by Fitch ...

'Woo Private Sector, Keep Corporate Tax At 10%' BW BusinessworldToday, the private sector feels harassed. They, instead, need to be wooed. So many people are going abroad. Create incentives for them. Corporate taxes ...

FMCG companies seek tax relief on dealer discounts to lift sales Economic TimesFMCG industry has petitioned to remove GST on amount received by dealers as reimbursement against discounts.

Radio host criticizes Dems using Bible to push taxes, economic policy Fox NewsDemocrats shouldn't use Jesus to justify socialist economic policies and doing so cheapens the historic figure, radio host Mike Slater argued on Saturday.

Whistleblower gives House Dems evidence of "inappropriate" conduct on Trump tax returns SalonHouse Democrats say a federal employee has given them evidence of "inappropriate efforts" on Trump tax audit.

ITR Filing 2019: 5 incomes you must not miss to report in your Income Tax Return for AY 2019-20 The Financial ExpressIt is advisable to be extra careful while filing income tax return this year as even a small mistake can result in the issue of a notice from the Income Tax ...

Have you filed your income tax return correctly? Find out Economic TimesHere's a short quiz to help you understand if you are on the right track to file your income tax return.

German finance minister backs plans for wealth tax: Handelsblatt Reuters IndiaGerman Finance Minister Olaf Scholz is backing plans for a wealth tax that his Social Democrats (SPD) want to introduce, the online edition of business daily ...

When Public Schools Rely on Local Property Taxes: Letters The AtlanticReaders discuss the phenomenon of school districts being isolated from financial resources in their communities.

Julie Jason: Enrolled agents are another option for tax help East Bay TimesThis year, it will be important to start the process of interacting with your tax professional early — perhaps even now. Why? Last year's tax-act changes caused ...

Cut taxes to reduce entrepreneurs’ burden: Kotak Mahindra AMC MD Nilesh Shah The Financial ExpressOur market is currently compartmentalised in four parts. Super large-caps are trading above their historical average. Large-caps are trading around their ...

Trump, GOP tax cuts, TCJA opportunity zones were good idea: opinion INSIDER"Opportunity zones" are designed to try and revitalize distressed communities, and there is some good evidence that may just happen.

Monroe Fire Protection District Bloomington Van Buren Merger Taxes Firefighters Firehouse.comMonroe Fire Protection District officials say the higher taxes resulting from a planned merger of Bloomington and Van Buren townships will increase services.

Arun Jaitley, the man who brought India under one-tax regime India TodayFormer finance minister Arun Jaitley was the man at the forefront of reforms that formed the cornerstone of the first term of the Narendra Modi-led government.

We can’t fund the progressive agenda by taxing the 1% alone Vox.comThe tricky politics of taxing the 1%, the middle class, and everyone in between.

Trump Says He Can Order Capital Gains Tax Break Without Congress BloombergPresident Donald Trump said he can cut taxes by indexing capital gains to inflation without congressional approval, a move the White House has been ...

Naresh Goyal created tax evading schemes to siphon off funds abroad: ED Business TodayThe Enforcement Directorate on Saturday alleged Jet Airways founder Naresh Goyal "structured" a number of tax evading schemes and siphoned off huge funds ...

Deadline For Filing Income Tax Return (ITR) Is Just 9 Days Away: 10 Latest Details To Know NDTV NewsThe last date for filing of income tax returns for assessment year 2019-20 (financial year 2018-19) is August 31, 2019. Last month, the government extended the ...

Textile companies seek tax incentives, DBT for farmers Economic TimesNEW DELHI: Indian textile and clothing industry players say one-third of their production capacity is lying idle due to sluggish exports, poor domestic demand, ...

Higher alcohol taxes will improve population health and augment UHC funds BusinessWorld OnlineNoncommunicable diseases have become the leading cause of death and illness in the Philippines. Alcohol consumption is associated with more than 10% of ...

SBI Tax Savings Scheme: Eligibility, Interest Rate And Other Details NDTV NewsThe minimum tenure for SBI Tax Savings Scheme, 2006, is five years which can go up to a maximum of 10 years.

IMF raises doubts about Indias tax revenue estimates, GDP growth target Business StandardThe International Monetary Fund (IMF) has posed questions for policymakers in India over steep tax revenue collection estimates for 2019-20 and the ...

These Portfolio Tracking Tools Will Also Prepare Your Crypto Taxes Bitcoin NewsTax season is months away, which is why you need to start preparing for it now. Leave everything to the last minute and you'll only end up cursing your.

Don’t Ban Assault Weapons—Tax Them The AtlanticThe nation is debating what to do about assault-style weapons, what gun-rights advocates like to call modern sporting rifles. Gun-rights champions argue that ...

Colorado Collecting Record Cannabis Taxes, but Readers Wonder Where Money Is Going | Westword WestwordThe state is on track to collect a record amount in marijuana-related taxes in 2019, but some readers think they should be getting more for the money.

IRS Warnings to Bitcoin Traders Offer Clues to Coming Tax Guidance CoinDeskThe Takeaway: The IRS' recent warning letters to 10,000 traders offer hints at what its forthcoming guidance on crypto taxes might say. While the letters are not ...

Trump sues over California law forcing candidates to turn over tax returns CNNPresident Donald Trump sued California Tuesday challenging a state law that requires candidates for president to disclose income tax returns before they can ...

Amazon is passing along costs of a new digital tax to thousands of French sellers CNBCAmazon is raising seller fees for thousands of small and medium-sized businesses in France because of a new digital tax passed by the French government.

Man must pay income tax on $15 flea market watch now worth$20,000: Money Matters cleveland.comI bought a "Rolex" watch at a flea market 20 years ago for $15. Assumed it was a knock off due to the low price. Threw it in a dresser drawer at home and forgot ...

What is the Capital Gains tax Rate for 2019? And how is it calculated Business Insider IndiaWhen you have built a low cost diversified portfolio, and your assets value more than what you paid for them, you might have the idea of selling some of your.

Tax notices to soon carry an identification number LivemintDIN is likely to improve transparency and bring down the processing time of notices.DIN won't be limited to new tax notices. It will also be issued to all the ...

Dividend income, partnership firms two ways to reduce income tax liability Business StandardMumbai-based M K Rajendran (name changed on request), director at a leading private bank, has been calling his chartered accountant regularly since July 5 ...

ITR filing: TDS related queries answered by income tax department Economic TimesAt the time of filing your income tax return (ITR) it is important to ensure that all TDS-related details are correctly filed in the form. Consequently, questions ...

Retain tax sops for genuine R&D Economic TimesEven as the Direct Tax Code's call to prune tax exemptions is unexceptionable, it would be sensible to retain those for research and development (R&D).

An error in the excise tax structure BusinessWorld OnlineAn amendment to the excise tax structure for alcohol and tobacco products recently passed the third reading in the lower house. It will now be deliberated upon ...

MARKET: Sensex up 228 pts on reports govt may rollback higher tax on FPIs Business StandardFM Nirmala Sitharaman will address media wherein announcements on steps to revive the economy, clarity on super-rich tax on FPIs, and direct tax code are ...

Income Tax Department conducts searches at Oberoi Realty, Capacite Infra MoneycontrolConfirming the development, a senior official of the I-T Department told Moneycontrol there was suspicion on related party transaction within Oberoi and also of ...

IRS begins tax clampdown on unreported cryptocurrency profits ZDNetIf you've been trading but not declaring, the tax *service* might be on your case.

How to show your trading and F&O income in the tax returns? BusinessLineBL Research BureauFor traders, aside from predicting the stock market, reporting income from intra-day trading or Futures & Options (F&O) in the tax ...

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