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Tax Jokes and Quotes

Tax Jokes and Quotes

Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?

Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner

Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don't fret, just go dig out your past tax returns.

Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes."

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now."

Quote: "It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required."

Q: Who audits IRS agents?

Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."

Q: How do you drive a CPA insane?

A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.

Quote: "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect."

Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?

Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."

Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth?

A: Have them fill out a tax return.

Quote: "Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr."

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado?

A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house.

Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?"

People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.

Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.

In The News:

Stricter rules on dealing with tax evasion kicks in from today LivemintTax defaulters can't escape prosecution by just paying a stiff fine Times of IndiaNew Income Tax rules from today; defaulters can't escape by just paying penalty Business TodayNew Income Tax Rules Offer No Relief To Black Money Cases BloombergQuintGovernment Releases New Income Tax Compounding Rules NDTV NewsView full coverage on Google News

Opinion | Time for a global tax net for the internet LivemintEven if an international consensus is hard to obtain on the taxation of digital services that make money off large user bases in countries like India, we should not ...

Filing out a tax return for the first time? Here are seven important tips Business StandardThere are many who find income tax calculation and filing to be a tough task. However, reading and learning about it can turn out to be a skill useful for a lifetime.

GST Council meet on 21 June to focus on checking tax evasion LivemintNEW DELHI: Goods and Services Tax Council, the federal indirect tax body, is set to take several decisions to curb tax evasion in its first meeting to be chaired ...

How to file a loved one’s taxes after they’ve passed away MarketWatchWhen a financially comfortable loved one departs, a bevy of tax issues can come into play.

Is receiving money from friend through e-wallet taxable? Economic TimesThrough e-wallets and UPI, it has become easy to send and receive money through your phone. Often, debts to friends may be settled in this manner.

What You Need to Know About Capital-Gains Taxes (but Probably Don’t) The Wall Street JournalBy tax-law standards, the rules on capital-gains taxes may appear fairly straightforward, especially for taxpayers who qualify for a zero-percent rate. But many ...

Does Amazon Really Pay No Taxes? Here’s the Complicated Answer The Wall Street JournalDemocratic presidential candidates have seized on reports that Amazon.com Inc. paid no 2018 federal taxes as they press for changes in the tax system.

Budget 2019: Govt may ask 'loss-making' companies to pay tax India TodayThe finance ministry is likely to propose a minimum amount of tax on loss-making companies in the upcoming budget or just after that. However, genuine ...

Budget 2019 | Direct tax reforms – It’s a case of now or never! Moneycontrol.comNaveen Aggarwal. Nineteen years into the 21st century and we are still following a tax law that is half a century old. A law that is now largely considered ...

G20 agrees to push ahead with digital tax Economic TimesG20 nations have agreed to push ahead on compiling common rules to lock tax havens' door for tech giants.

G20 agrees to wrap up digital tax by 2020 LivemintG20 finance ministers agreed to compile common rules to close loopholes used by global tech giants to reduce their corporate taxes.The new rules would also ...

Cut taxes to boost investments, growth, CII’s Kirloskar tells govt LivemintThe Confederation of Indian Industries (CII) has called upon the government to lower a broad range of taxes to encourage equity investments by both individuals ...

Tax-free bonds could be reintroduced in Budget LivemintHighway sector has been one of the best performing areas of the government.Infra majors can hope Budget to approve *fresh* issue of tax free bonds to raise ...

Will these taxes make a comeback? Morningstar IndiaUnion Budget 2019 will be presented in parliament on July 5, 2019, by Finance Minister Nirmala Sitharaman. The mutual fund industry would love to see the roll ...

Treasury Finishes Rules Ending Blue-State Tax-Cap Workarounds The Wall Street JournalThe Treasury Department is releasing final rules that shut down a tax-planning strategy for residents of high-tax states, nixing a workaround that could have ...

Filing Income Tax Returns? Avoid These Six Common Mistakes News18From the intimidating number of forms available, to claiming deductions, in the last-minute rush to file income tax returns, make sure to keep in mind some details ...

Can today’s ultra-rich make peace with a wealth tax? Financial TimesWealth taxes may not be as punitive as feared and might even encourage the entrepreneurial.

India Incs advance tax mop-up surges 171% in Q1, Mumbai collection up 133% Business StandardIndia Inc's advance tax figures grew exponentially by 171 per cent during the first quarter of 2019-20, prompting the tax authorities to say that the economy may ...

GST Council may tighten rules to curb tax evasion Hindustan TimesGoods and Services Tax (GST) Council, the federal indirect tax body, is set to take several steps to curb tax evasion in its first meeting to be chaired by new ...

Kerala Assembly Adopts Uniform Tax Rate on Lotteries Against Centre's Move News18Thiruvananthapuram: The Kerala Assembly Monday adopted a resolution against the Centre's proposal to impose a uniform tax rate on lotteries instead of the ...

House Democrat says current Congress may not see Trump taxes ReutersA senior Democrat on a congressional panel seeking President Donald Trump's tax returns warned on Saturday that the current Congress may not see the ...

US wants to stall digital tax, hoping to wear down allies BusinessLineIt is actively engaging at the OECD to settle on a long-term, multilateral solution.

Govt plans fresh set of tax sops for startups in budget Economic TimesThe department for promotion of industry and internal trade (DPIIT) and the revenue department have discussed a package of tax sops in the forthcoming ...

New GST return forms to help authorities check tax evasion LivemintNEW DELHI: Return forms proposed for the goods and services tax (GST) are set to put an end to one of the widely used methods for tax evasion—claiming ...

Budget 2019: Follow these simple steps to reduce your taxable income under new rules India TodayNot even a month is left for the announcement of full Budget 2019 and the government is all set to make effective new income tax laws that will benefit millions of ...

Biden Criticized Amazon for Not Paying Taxes. Here's His Record on Tax Reform InsideSources2020 presidential candidate Joe Biden slammed Amazon for not paying any federal income taxes last year — mimicking comments from Bernie Sanders and.

Income Tax Dept trains officers to detect tax evasion in shell companies BusinessLineThe Income Tax Department continues to focus and enhance the skills of Assessing Officers (AO) to detect black money laundered through shell companies.

Goods and services tax, a game changer? Not for home decor firms at least LivemintAfter the goods and services tax (GST) was introduced in 2017, home decor companies were in the spotlight because plywood, laminate and ceramic tile ...

With growth wavering, I-T wants mopup target eased Economic TimesCBDT has pitched a downward revised target from that presented in the interim budget to Sitharaman.

Pay first instalment of advance tax now LivemintThe deadline to deposit the first out of total four instalments of advance tax for FY 2019-20 is on 15 June.Remember that you are just required to pay the advance ...

India is leading a global charge to make corporate giants pay fair tax QuartzAt a Tokyo summit this weekend, G20 finance ministers are expected to give a thumbs-up to a "road map" proposing various ways to upend the system that lets ...

Transport operators to face higher tax The Daily StarRoad and water transport operators are set to face 25 percent higher taxes on their earnings from next fiscal year as the revenue authority feels tax collection ...

Imran Khan follows PM Modi's footsteps, asks countrymen to pay taxes India TodayPakistan Prime Minister Imran Khan urged the countrymen to pay taxes and reminded them to take benefit of the 'last' Asset Declaration Scheme launched by ...

GST collection at ₹1 lakh cr in May below target, tax rate cut unlikely soon LivemintGross collection at ₹1,00289 crore in May is lower than ₹1,13865 crore in April.A total of 72.45 lakh GSTR-3B returns were filed in May, higher than 72.13 lakh ...

With his tax plans, Boris Johnson is gambling on the public's ignorance about the true nature of wealth ProspectNot only do most voters have little idea of what an "average" wage is in reality, they also find it difficult to see the link between taxation and their local public ...

`Tax on digital service contradicts policy’ The Daily StarBangladesh Mobile Phone Consumers Association today said the government is trying to expedite the digitalisation of the country but they are imposing ...

DOJ releases legal opinion supporting Treasury refusal to turn over Trump tax returns CNNThe Justice Department released Friday a new legal opinion supporting the Treasury secretary's refusal to hand over President Donald Trump's tax returns.

Nirmala Sitharaman should give tax benefits to common man, remove MAT in Budget: experts BusinessLineIndustry chambers presses for reduction in corporate and personal income tax to help increase consumption and in turn promoting economic growth.

Own a home? Know your taxes BusinessLineAt every stage in the life cycle of owning a house, be aware of the tax incidence. Here's a ready reckoner.

No New Taxes, Just Improve Data Mining Economic TimesThe Narendra Modi government, in its second term, must have a credible plan to revive the economy that is expected to decelerate for a second consecutive ...

India notifies tax info exchange pact with Marshall Islands BusinessLineThe agreement enables exchange of information, including banking and ownership information, between the two countries for tax purposes.

Pay high income tax? Govt may call you to have tea with the PM or FM Business StandardIn a rather unconventional plan, the Ministry of Finance has decided to reward India's top income tax payers by inviting them to tea with the prime minister or the ...

Uber says IRS probing its 2013-14 tax returns LivemintThe U.S. Internal Revenue *Service* is auditing Uber Technologies Inc's taxes for 2013 and 2014 and the ride-hailing company expects unrecognized tax benefits ...

Yes, Taxing the Rich Is Possible The New York TimesThis article is part of David Leonhardt's newsletter. You can sign up here to receive it each weekday. For a long time, there was a predictable response to any ...

Income Tax returns deadline of July 31 likely to be postponed Business TodayYou may get some more time to file your income tax returns in the current assessment year. The regular deadline of July 31 is expected to be pushed back this ...

Erdoğan says Turkish exporters will be exempt from currency taxes AhvalTurkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan said the country's exporters will be exempt from taxes on purchases of foreign currency.

Brazil authorities put freeze on Neymar mansions amid tax dispute MoneycontrolParis Saint-Germain striker Neymar's off-pitch woes continue to mount, as Brazilian tax authorities put a freeze on dozens of his mansions and other properties ...

Tax optimiser: Salaried Chaddha can save over Rs 71,000 in tax via NPS, perks Economic TimesET Wealth tells readers how they can optimise their tax by rejigging their income and investments, like in this salaried taxpayer's case.

Madhya Pradesh govt to raise Rs 20,000 crore revenue without new tax MoneycontrolThe Madhya Pradesh government is hopeful to raise around Rs 20,000 crore in revenue without imposing any new tax on public in the next budget, Finance ...

Remove double taxation on commodity trading: CPAI BusinessLineSince CTT introduction in 2013, market volume has plunged 63%, says commodity association.

How Silicon Valley Avoids Paying Taxes Using Small Biz Break BloombergSilicon Valley has won big with a tax break aimed at small businesses.

How to make full use of section 80D to save tax on health insurance? Economic TimesHealth insurance is a necessity that can also help you save taxes. Generally, you can save tax on health insurance premium for a maximum of Rs 1 lakh in case ...

Alberta Repealed Its Carbon Tax. What Now? ForbesAlberta has repealed its controversial carbon tax, but that hasn't settled the issue of how the market should deal with the unwanted consequences of carbon ...

High-Tax States Face an IRS Smackdown The Motley FoolTax reform is a year and a half old now, but there's still plenty of argument about some of its more controversial provisions. One of the hardest-fought changes to ...

Lower Tax, Interest Rate, Healthcare: 10 Things India Wants Its New Fin Min to Address in Budget 2019 News18People, who commented on the online forum seeking suggestions for the budget, have wished that minimum exemption for income tax purposes be raised to Rs ...

Jaitley gives 2-month extension to CBDT task force on direct tax code; panel to now submit report by July 31 Business TodayIn a meeting held with top finance ministry officials, Arun Jaitley on Friday gave the Central Board of Direct Taxes (CBDT) task force an extension of two months ...

IOC, HPCL to contest over ₹4,000-crore tax demand LivemintNew Delhi: Oil refiners Indian Oil Corp (IOC) and Hindustan Petroleum Corp Ltd (HPCL) on Thursday said they will contest tax authorities demand for over ...

Low jet fuel taxes, expansion of airports seen boosting aviation sector LivemintMUMBAI: India's aviation sector, one of the fastest growing in the world, will need a push from the new government to achieve its potential. Former diplomat ...

I-T summons Naresh Goyal in tax evasion case Economic TimesThe case is related to alleged irregularities in dealings between Jet and Dubai-based cos.

How tax efficiency varies across states LivemintStudy shows that some states are more efficient in generating tax revenues than others.

Opinion | Using the Singapore nudge in Indian tax law LivemintMany years ago, on a vacation in Singapore, I was surprised to see the number of babies all over town. It looked like a baby boom in the city state. Cute, chubby ...

Tanzania row over wig and hair extension tax BBC NewsA row has broken out in Tanzania over the government's decision to impose a tax on wigs and hair extensions. Many male and some female MPs applauded ...

Instead of locking in future tax cuts, we should increase Newstart and boost social housing The GuardianNo one knows what will happen to the economy in three to five years. We need to own up to that fact and act accordingly.

Tax saving tips: Invest in real estate and save tax on LTCG Business StandardInvestments in real estate are borne out of savings made out several years of earnings. These investments have both monetary value and emotional value for ...

ESRI warns that carbon taxes 'often regressive in nature' TheJournal.ieTHE ECONOMIC AND Social Research Institute (ESRI) has said the impact of introducing a carbon tax will strongly depend on the policy the government ...

Where does Colorado's marijuana tax money go? The state made a flow chart to answer the $1 billion question The Colorado SunColorado officials announced Wednesday that marijuana tax revenue has now surpassed $1 billion since recreational sales began in 2014.

Budget 2019: From income tax slab changes to 80C limit extension, 5 key things to expect from the upcoming Union Budget The Financial ExpressFM Nirmala Sitharaman is expected to announce a number of big-ticket decisions in the Union Budget 2019 considering the thumping majority her party secured ...

Viewpoint | Here's why you should file your income tax returns in time Moneycontrol.comDivya Baweja, Divya Agarwal and Pooja Verma. Filing of income tax returns (ITR) is around the corner and authorities have already released the necessary ...

EU leader Tusk queried about tax policies as Polands PM Business StandardLawmakers in Poland questioned EU Council president Donald Tusk on Monday for an investigation of tax evasion by private businesses that took place when ...

Budget 2019: Slashing tax rates is a good way to boost collections; here’s why The Financial ExpressUnion budget 2019 India: Hiking surcharges on higher income brackets tempting, but won't help as much as cutting rates to get more into tax net.

Cap personal income tax rate at 25 pc to boost demand: PHDCCI Economic TimesNEW DELHI: The maximum personal income tax rate in the country should move towards 25 per cent to increase disposable income, thereby boosting demand ...

Brazil to let ethanol sector raise capital using tax free notes ReutersThe Brazilian government will allow companies in the sugar and ethanol sector to raise capital for investments through the issuance of notes that are exempt ...

Industry seeks tax cuts, bold land, labour reforms from NDA LivemintIndustry executives on Monday sought tax cuts, lower interest rates and bold reforms in land acquisition and labour laws in a blueprint prepared to aid the Modi ...

Tax structure a reason for Jet Airways fall: Ajay Singh, SpiceJet chairman Economic TimesSpiceJet chairman Ajay Singh has replaced Jet Airways' Naresh Goyal on the board of governors at IATA — an achievement, considering his carrier joined the ...

France Wants to Cut $1.1 Billion of Tax Breaks for Companies BloombergFrance plans to eliminate tax benefits for companies worth one billion euros ($1.12 billion) from next year to help finance a pledged reduction in personal ...

Here’s how to comply with new rules on keeping digital tax records The SunTENS of thousands of British businesses could find themselves in trouble with the taxman by failing to follow new rules on keeping digital records. More than one ...

Digital economy taxation: OECD’s roadmap and implications for India Economic TimesBy Ajay Rotti In today's world, with technology seeping into virtually every section of the economy, the 'digital economy' is becoming intertwined with the ...

Withdrawing Rs 10 lakh a year may attract 3-5% tax: Finance Ministry India TodayWithdrawing a cumulative Rs 10 lakh a year can attract 3-5 per cent tax if a proposal going around in the Finance Ministry takes shape in the Budget to track high ...

New York Can Tell Congress Lots About Trump’s Taxes The New York TimesHis state returns will give the House a glimpse of past I.R.S. audits, before and after he entered the Oval Office.

Coalition's tax plan would benefit men almost twice as much as women, analysis finds The GuardianThe Coalition's plan to flatten tax brackets for middle to high income earners will provide twice as much benefit to men than women, a new analysis has found.

G20 countries agree to close tax loopholes for tech companies EngadgetTech giants are already finding themselves on the hook for more taxes in parts of Europe, but there could now be a much more coordinated effort to have them ...

'No decisions made' as to how Ireland will quadruple its carbon tax by 2030 TheJournal.ieTO MEET IRELAND'S emissions target, the government will quadruple the carbon tax from €20 to €80 per tonne by 2030. The measure has been well-flagged, ...

Most millionaires support a tax on wealth above $50 million, CNBC survey says CNBCA majority of millionaires support Sen. Elizabeth Warren's proposed tax on large wealth, according to the CNBC Millionaire survey.

No taxes owed by GMR from $270-million arbitration award: Maldives LivemintThe Maldivian government in 2017 had slapped a notice seeking $20.5 million.The arbitration ruling indemnified the Indian developer from any tax liabilities.

Martin Feldstein, economist who nudged Ronald Reagan to raise taxes, dies Business StandardMartin Feldstein, the former chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers who successfully persuaded President Ronald Reagan to cut budget deficits by ...

Bring down corporate tax to 18 pc sans exemptions: CII Economic TimesCII wants the govt to bring down the corp tax rate to 18 per cent along with elimination of all exemptions.

Only one month left for filing taxes online The Brussels TimesThe countdown has begun: taxpayers have only one month before the deadline for online filing on Tax-on-web expires on 11 July, the Finance Department ...

ITR filing: Don't make these mistakes to avoid getting tax notice Economic TimesFind out what you should do to avoid getting a notice for small errors on income tax returns.

New York Offers Up Trump's State Tax Returns—But One Lawmaker Stands in the Way BloombergHouse Democrats clamoring for Donald Trump's tax information have eagerly awaited a newly passed New York law allowing limited access to the president's ...

How to quadruple the number of tax payers in India Business StandardIndia's tax to GDP ratio is around 12 per cent currently. It used to be around 10 per cent till recently. Most people think even this 12 per cent is too low and that it ...

A Former Business Partner Alleges the Trumps Evaded Taxes in Panama The New York TimesThe owners of a luxury hotel in Panama City that ousted the Trump Organization as property managers last year accused it on Monday of evading taxes in ...

California considers adopting part of Trump's tax law CBS NewsThe state is looking to expand the state's earned income tax credit.

Big businesses paying even less than expected under GOP tax law POLITICOFederal tax payments by big businesses are falling much faster than anticipated in the wake of Republicans' tax cuts, providing ammunition to Democrats who ...

IT industry, startups meet Anurag Thakur to discuss data protection, tax issues YourStoryAhead of the Budget, representatives of tech sector and industry bodies like Nasscom, IAMAI, and MAIT met Minister of State for Finance Anurag Thakur on ...

Got a tax notice? Here’s what you should do Economic TimesMistakes while filing ITR can fetch you a tax notice. Here's how you can respond to such tax notices.

How to report tax-exempt incomes in ITR-1 Economic TimesThis year in ITR-1, tax-exempt incomes have to be reported in the tab, 'Computation of income and tax'.

Boris Johnson’s proposed income tax cut for those earning over £50,000 is a stinker for the average Brit The SunBORIS Johnson's first big policy announcement is a stinker. We're all for tax cuts . . . Tories should be tax cutters, above all. But what possessed Boris to think his ...

G-20 update: Urgent push for digital taxes faces hurdles The Financial ExpressThe G-20 finance group has gathered annually since 1999, with Japan taking presidency for the June 8-9 gathering.

Budget 2019: Tax officials likely to seek up to Rs 1.5 lakh crore reduction in collection target India TodayOfficials from the tax department are likely to ask the finance ministry for a reduction in the tax collection target up to 6 per cent, translating to Rs 1.5 lakh crore, ...

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